With so many grand submissions, I thought I should submit something of my own for Australia Day for a change. May your flags not flag. May your Hahn Ice not turn lukewarm. Gooseberry Hill.
Worst Talk
Online Now
The Asia Beat- Aussies expose sinister craft
- Clarke injury linked to shorts
- Aussie millionaire offers kangaroo tail pizza crust
- Australian company Rio Tinto to mine Beijing’s air pollution
- Asian Men’s Shed cracks the whip
- Gangnam style “not miracle worker.” – PSY
- Malaysian “Gay and lesbian warning signs” seem to describe Singaporeans.
- “3 Sisters” renamed for Chinese market
- Asians offer to eat problem sharks
- Racist Aussies Shun “Asian” Highway
There are a couple of immediate worsts here:
1. Star of David instead of Federation Star
2. Reflected Southern Cross
youse guys! This is clearly a form of free speech, ithe very thing that all them little aussie battlers fighting them wog/leb gangs over in Turkeystan died for. Show the true spirit of patriotism and don’t criticise your country.
an informal survey by the Sunday Times showed that half the people they asked did not know why Australia Day was celebrated on Jan 26
“er, was it when we became independant?”
Crikey’s first dog on the moon had some good T-shirts that read
“Be White or Bugger Off”
and
“I fear the Unfamiliar”
Skinko. Those who were surveyed are almost certainly the same idiots featured here in the last week or so.
No amount of car flags can make up for a lack of understanding of our national history. It’s a cracking story, so get reading you idiots.
Not you Greg!
I also liked the column in the West that imagined the First Fleet, the first boat people, being greeted by aborigines wearing T-shirts that said
‘fuck off, we’re full’
with that view that if you are not aboriginal, you are a queue jumper, and their criticism of the alcohol ban and stop-and-search, Teh West is in danger of becoming rational
Every paper has an off week…
They’ll be back to parochialism, beat-ups, hysteria and dog whistling next week.
the sun has got to them, it won’t last.
I hope they didn’t take that Southern Cross to their tattooist.
Actually, I hope they did.
dog t-shirts? did you see them tla?
surely can’t be any more attrocious than dog wet weather gear can they?
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6IrFPRw_r4Y/SbCvRaAhfWI/AAAAAAAAA34/_f-HnHbqiTU/s1600-h/DogRaincoat.jpg
I’ve heard some people are now having children as surrogate pets, mp. Life’s tough for wolves, and even pussies.
Wow! That cat house is amazing. As for those animal clothes: insane.
Pussy heaven, mp. On a belated Australia day note, who would have thought you’d have to venture all the way to Gifu to enjoy the Aussiest pizza in the world, and that Vegemite needed to change its name to something Aussier ? You think I’m joking, don’t you, but I’ve been there, and have photos of the menu to prove it.
Tacos and nachos will always be Mexican to me. But Vegemite pizza? Apart from the Italian angle, very aussie, and I assume, bloody awful.
A glance at the menu confirms these guys are well and truly taking the piss.
Not at all, shaz, as Hiro explains here. As partial as I can occasionally be to Vegemite on toast, I didn’t try the Vegemate pizza. The dishes we did order were fantastic, by the way.
I read the history, then the menu. I am sticking to my ‘taking the piss’ theory. There was nothing, apart from vegemite and meat pie, that I saw that could be considered Australian cuisine. Where is the Kangaroo and Crocodile? The macademia encrusted Tassie Salmon? Barrumndi beer battered with chips on side?
Fair enough, shaz. Friends have often asked similar questions whenever we’ve visited Japanese restaurants in Australia.
I’ve always imagined that Japanese visitors must laugh at the notion of California Rolls, amongst others.
Never made them in USA; strictly an English product.
I was sent a photo of a dead crow with an Aussie flag stuck in it, but it is possibly too hideous to post.
Sounds hideously worse. Is it really any more traumatising than a pile of vomit? Or Alsation Rampant?
It is disturbing. If youse don’t think the photo of a young dead crow skewered to the ground by one of those cheap aussie chinese flags, I’ll put it up. It is as disturbing as Alsatian rampant, but with a sinister vibe and also sans humour.
Sans humour? Stone the crows, that’s no way for a comedian to talk.
Sans humour ? I vote pass.
I think the mental image is sufficient.
Also, one would not wish to lower the tone of this site.
Stone the crows – put it up!
is there any suggestion the death was caused by the flag?
You’d hope not wouldn’t you.
has the reply function gone to shit again?
or just detecting the shallowness of the place?
It it’s California Rolls you’re referring to, Rolly, I’m not so sure.
When Rolls advanced his proposition to Royce, the intention was to always remain English.
So you will never find a California Rolls, nor a Detroit one, nor a Milwaukee one, not even a genuine German one even though they do own the factory.
Geez! Do I have to explain every little thing.?
Oh, a California Rolls, Rolly. Why didn’t you say so ?
vegemate is funny.
the fried rings however sound like they should be with this mornings donger post comment from juffy:
“an epic tale of unrequited man-love between two extremely well-hung stick figures and their evil bicycle-overlords”
http://theworstofperth.com/2010/01/27/donger-mania/#comment-33368
Yes that’s post of the day, and it’s only 9am.
goseberry hill?
all the dogs in gooseberry hill are clothed.
it’s that kind of place.
whilst the locals wear kangaroo skins.
Oh I see.
moondynefestival.com/…/11/moondyne-joe.jpg
Not your day, is it?
What are you trying to say?
I’m as Australian as the next man.
Try
http://www.biocrawler.com/w/images/0/0b/Moondyne_Joe_(1830-1900).jpg
Bad Day…
I have to admit I would be hard pressed to draw an accurate representation of the Australian flag. I always get my southern cross and saucepan mixed up when I star gaze.
Flaf T shirts?
I was under the impression that the whole day wqas about getting shirtless.
Aus Flag Dog Bikini-yes
Aus Flag Dog Cape-yes
Aus Flag Dog Bowl-yes
Aus Flag Dog T-shirt?- FOWF
Fuck. Flag.
File 1 not exists.
Every man and his dog wants one.
Test
Testing File 1
Largely unrelated, but I hadn’t previously noticed the ‘angry lines’ emanating from Sookie’s head. Are they a new addition to make him look even madder?
http://www.watoday.com.au/opinion/blog/mad-as-hell
I resist every temptation to look at such links. It a bit like not having troll dialogue. Must not give in, must not give in……..
I like to pop in on Howard reasonably regularly, to see if I get another opportunity to tell his dear departed mum to fuck off.
Perhaps this was taken at the precise moment Howie said “..may god strike me down if…”
ooh, the zap lines are new
maybe they represent the alien thought-control waves that are constantly bombarding him
time for tin foil, Howard
http://riverdaughter.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/tinfoil.jpg
The angry lines are new, and are the bags under his eyes sort of baggier looking, in an angry-Saddam way?
I often want to call them out on the intro, which says “but what he’s not… is boring”.
I think the fact that he’s earned two comments, one being from an obvious nutcase (or possible Godwin), on his latest post, is evidence enough, JaneZ. I’ve got $5 says he goes back to pensioner rants within the fortnight.
the ‘obvious nutcase’ is this bloke:
http://colinabbott.blogspot.com/
who really deserved a mention during ‘nutters in trees’ week
he is now the only regular contributor to the WAToady blogs
Today’s rant is on the “Navy being blamed” during the Coronil inquesty involving a certain boat off Ashmore Creek, which hasn’t even been completed, but if the evidence is indeed correct, it looks like a few Naval bods will be looking for further employment, or a stay in Her Maj’s fine chain of correctional facilities.
or just be demoted and hidden away in the back offices based on previous history Frank.
Where is everyone? You’re not all waiting to see 1.5 million dollars burn are you?
The young master worst is down there now.
I’ll watch the replay on Ch 7 at 10.30ish – can’t they just show it at the first ad break during Tennis – it is on delay so it won’t affect the flow.
Did anyone catch the telecast? Scaffidi reading lines while pretending to look at Fred Ardon’s eerie smiling face was hilarious.
…while they pretended it was live despite the fact it was very dark, there were cars moving on Riverside Drive below them and there were NO PEOPLE AT THE PARK?? It was perfect.
No doubt to avoid any fluffing of lines or a drunken she-ra Seven in their wisdom decided to pre-record the intro – I recall when Seven telecast the first ever Skyshow Live – no delayed telecast as there was no night Australian Open games you could hear the TV audio during the simulcast and it wasn’t the athem which everyone knew the lyrics to, but the “Midweek Lotto” Jingle.
I was worried earlier today that spending Australia day vacuuming and dusting was Un-Australian.
But actually sucking up hundreds of Daddy-Long-Legs may well constitute a massacre of an indigenous population and therefore….
which wag at 96FM thought of putting Slim Dusty’s ‘I’d like to have a beer with Duncan’ on the Skyshow soundtrack?
our little party watching from the balcony (not Juliet) were singing:
“we’d like to have a beer with Karlo…
…but Rob Johnson’s…a cunt”
all together now, with the key change…
Ahem,
The Soundtrack was produced by 94.5 – 96 lost the gig years ago. Mind you the soundtrack would’ve been produced 6 months ago BEFORE Karlo made his announcement.
But at least the bogans stayed away.
And here’s proof that working at 94.5 can give you a heart attack.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/6734950/radio-announcer-suffers-heart-attack/
Poor little darlin’s can’t party without getting pissed.
Sad bunch.
i prefer to party without bogans.
It wasn’t in Hilton was it TLA?
There was a recent Freo Herald story about a Hilton resident leaving anonymous notes in neighbouring letterboxes imploring them not to encourage the ravens to hang around. Apparently the raven cries were driving this person to insanity.
Nth Freo I think.
Oh, it was a baby crow too. Does that help?
No, that just makes it particularly sad.
Perhaps the Hilton resident finally snapped and chased it all the way to North Fremantle, during which they ripped a flag from a passing Hyundai?
The photo might be worth selling to the gallery that featured the morbid road kill artist.
Heard an interesting take on the ‘fuck off we’re full’ line yesterday – ‘I grew here, you flew here’.
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie…
I assume that you weren’t picked to serve with 11 other Perthians to assist with the Justice process ?
Any Court worsts to share ?
Frank, alas I missed out on the 2nd ballot process to be included in the final 14, but I did get to hear the clerk of courts – who was quipping with us about how surprised he was that we were all sober after Oz Day – say the words buttocks, vagina and breasts a number of times.
I was away, so I couldn’t do my duty when called. Apparently it is a depressing and disheartening experience. A parade of life’s losers and fuck up artists.
I did it 18 months ago. Got a bloke who secretly filmed his best friend’s 14yo daughter while she was using his shower.
He had a camera set up in the roof space and claimed he was a film maker and wanted to capture vision of himself being stalked and vulnerable in his bathroom.
Sitting through the footage was quite disturbing to say the least. He went down for 4.5 years.
I did jury duty about 3 years ago. Got a bloke who was fiddling with his grandkids. I think it was the hand made pornographic place mats that did him in in the end.
Apart from the subject matter it was a really interesting experience to see how the justice system works.
The courts are a marvellous source of wonderful stories.
It’s time for a Cornish pasty, Cookster ?
In our modern day world. We have our own prerogatives, look at those teenagers they can say whatever is in their minds, like when they wear their shout out shirts even if they are silent at times you can read whats on their mind when you look at their shirts.
You talking about teenage dogs Weddy P? You’re losing me a little.