Kalamunda has retained its elderly zombie bogan vibe over the years, when you might have expected it to have become kind of artistic rustic. Quinoa has come late to this part of the world – although I have noticed The Haynes Street Larder was dishing out some Q. Kalamuntians were unaccountably trying to sit down in the place like it was Coles cafeteria rather than a hole in the wall. I didn’t notice any juices served in jars, but this will probably come to Kal in about 5 years.
The Larder is however a refreshingly normal place in a wasteland of a town.
I haven’t had that many Worsts from Kalamunda, even though it really is a terrible ugly craphole. It doesn’t have any outstanding Worsts. It’s all bad, but boringly so. How do you photograph the Dawn of the Dead that is Barberry Square?
I did however like how Kalamunda retailers are well out in front of the pack, with a kind of reverse Gruen transfer putting you into a grumpy trance before you even get into the shop.

That’ll sort those pesky customers out. …….If the the owner had half a brain they’d have put a mark down sign up and charged double.
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These aren’t the bargains you’re looking for.
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Although mankinis are marked down. Way down.
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They had better fucken discount spring
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I would pay full retail for Winter in January or February.
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I can just see Sir Davo and Buckelsd exchanging the finer details of AIBA rules with the “Oxford St business owners”
.https://soundcloud.com/720abcperth/my-staff-had-been-subject-to-swearing-and-personal-abuse
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Fixies are the future, man.
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A lane just for fixies and one for geared?
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This never would have happened if Lannie was still in charge.
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Those Kalamuntians should be thankful the shop isn’t owned by Gordon Ramsey.
Then they’d get the message, delivered without ambiguity, and with no need for little signs.
“IT’S FUCKING WINTER!! – YOU FUCKING DEADBEAT, BRAIN-DEAD FUCKWIT!!”
“WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU FUCKING THINK I’D EVEN REMOTELY FUCKING CONSIDER, ANY FUCKING DISCOUNT ON ANY FUCKING WINTER STUFF IN THIS SHOP, IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING WINTER??!! – YOU FUCKING RETARD!!”
“I OUGHT TO ARSEHOLE YOU UNCEREMONIOUSLY OUT OF THE SHOP, FOR EVEN ASKING SUCH A STUPID FUCKING MORONIC QUESTION, YOU FUCKING USELESS CUNT!!!”
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Before the AIBA rules come into play?
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Previous discussion of Barberry Square here. A couple of years ago, the Council got upset with me when I described it as “a barren wasteland” in a presentation to them.
How has the 1/20 scale Eiffel Tower not graced these pages?
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Probably should now that it is impossible to get a non-surly coffee in Haynes St. Owners of Paris-Brest with the ali eiffel tower has shut its doors and walked away.
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H.S. Larder girl was non surly this morning. Even in the face of persistent non sequitur questions from late term zombie old buffer.
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Barberry is like a mini arrondissement. Empty shops interspersed with crap.
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Eiffel Tower place closed
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kalamunda is closed.
i cannot comprehend how school mates/family can move back there.
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The housing and areas surrounding can often be lovely, but the town centre itself looks like Bunbury shat it out. Every retail premises from whatever era are always the worst examples of their time. The tile fronted huge TAB is not the worst building in town. It’s not just the recent stuff. Is there a picture of St BARNabus church somewhere? Library – abortion. There’s not a single building on the main drag of Haynes that is worth keeping. How many towns can boast that?
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Gold! “Looks like Bunbury shat it out.” As awful as it is, you often have to go through High Wycombe to get there so Kalamunda looks slightly better in comparison.
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Yes, but Kalamunda does have some lovely residential spots, hills views and all, Wycombe doesn’t. But that just makes haynes street worse somehow.
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yes, but you are still in kalamunda.
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It’s sad that you are such a rude grumpy cunt, the larder is fucking great and shits all over any other cafe around. It’s a shame that when you put haynes street larder into google your pile of shit come up and makes it look bad as your page is called the worst of Perth. And actually this really upset a girl who is trying fucking hard to try something new in this town.
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How about this fog!
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Is this English ? , and why does this café shit on other cafés . Surely a café that shits is not a good thing. The quinoa perhaps
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I like the larder. It’s the only place I buy coffee there. I guess they should have a website if they want better search results. I have taken their name out of the tags. They are the best thing in town.
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The Haynes St Larder is rated second in the Kalamunda area : http://tinyurl.com/obdsthg
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Is the first the closed Eiffel Tower one?
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