A TWOP fan the other day boasted on Twitter how they had seen Perth C Lister Basil “I don’t do Greek and I don’t know how my people got that reputation, probably was a dark night and there may have been Spartans involved, you know how they were separated from their womenfolk and were brought up in that all male militaristic life, but anyway somewhere along the line a Greek Donger – not mine, was introduced to a Greek ringhole – not mine either and a reputation was started…Who knew?” Zempilas sitting alone, forlornly not signing cookbooks, but didn’t get a fucking photo! Outrage Cohen, shows how he is the real newspaperman by not missing Ray “The straight Mike Walsh, The poor man’s George Negus, The thinking man’s Ian Leslie & the blind man’s Jana Wendt” Martin. Not focussing on him mind you, but not missing him. It must have taken real skill to get two retard elbows and a leather sandal in focus, but allow Ray’s hairpiece to remain soft. Aren’t journos supposed to be multiskilled these days? I’m not made of fucking unsharp masks people! Outrage sent some text, and normally I’d be flipping through Fowler, invoking the Strunkmeister for a complete dewinceing, before ditching his copy altogether, but it’s so hot that I’m just going to paste the whole thing in. Deal with it.
This morning at Borders Ray was signing copies of his book Ray: Stories of My Life. The spruiker was inviting people to sign copies of his “biography”. The crowds weren’t ten deep, but I did see the event in its last few minutes. The spruiker reduced Ray to a tick: he said if people bought Ray’s book they’d be able to tick someone off on their Xmas gift list. I advised him SoML was an autobiography – he said he sometimes got carried away “in the moment”. To his credit in the book Ray takes some stuff on the chin, like the Paxtons episode: ‘A Current Affair’s treatment of them was over-the-top, and bad editorial judgements were made. I was in the middle of those decisions.’ But then he can’t resist this: ‘The Paxton story also brings me to my sordid little encounter with a serial pest named John Safran, which became – at least to Media Watch – a celebrated confrontation. Again, its effects would
hang around like a rancid smell for years.’ $49.95 from all good bookstores everywhere!
And also see the strangest kangaroo I’ve ever seen on an Xmas card. DFOC 
The Worst of Perth 
Looks like the offspring of a kangaroo that mated with a husky, while taking thalidomide.
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My god, is that a hair out of place on Ray’s forehead?
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That kangaroo looks like Steve Bisley.
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More the marsupial love child of Steve Bisley and Barbara Streisand.
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it’s on steroids.
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Dear TLA.
I would like to know what search brought wayne to our shores?
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Noni Hazlehurst naked or Scarborough sluts most likely. Possibly Perth’s worst anal.
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I feel like that kangaroo is looking straight into my soul.
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Well Bento, that’s because
Kangaroos are ingenious examples of God’s craftsmanship, designed by a Creator who knew perfectly what He was doing. To Him all praise, glory, and honour is forever due.
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Such weird, twisted logic.
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will TWOP be submitting the new foreshore redevelopment plan to its usual close scrutiny and criticism?
I noted that Swan Island has been deleted and replaced by a bridge with two halves that don’t appear to join up.
to my eye the plan seemed to consist of digging a square hole in the Esplanade where that square bit of grass currently exists, letting it fill up with water, and then selling the land around the perimeter to property developers to build whatever the fuck they like, most likely faceless glass boxes.
as an afterthought there would be some vague aboriginal arts venue (wagyl permitting), and a special conference facility where people can gather to work out what to hell to do with all the traffic.
I particularly enjoyed Colon on the news. When asked whether this scheme would be built when all others had failed, Colon proudly said that this was a Liberal-National Government, who delivered projects not proposals, with all the conviction of a man who had forgotten he cancelled the Ellenbrook Railway and the Footy Stadium.
may I propose that the new development be called ‘Colin’s Creek’ in the same manner as ‘Colin’s Canal’, offering all sorts of puntastic opportunities to use the phrase ‘without a paddle’ ?
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skinkaroo, can you repost the link to your tshirts please. i’ve got very important shopping to do:)
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This plan looks so much better than the Carps version that I’m not going to feature it.
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I thought that too. Mind you, Colin’s design would be under water pretty soon if sea levels rise as they have been.
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More for me to worry about.
More twisted logic (see monkeypants above)
Just a different religion.
Growth at all costs; to hell with the social and environmental consequences.
We’re a nation of slow learners; that’s for sure.
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I did wonder whether the bridge with the two halves that don’t join up was a subtle metaphor for the Liberal National Coalition,
but then I realised that if that were the case, then half the bridge would have to be built in Brendan Grylls’ electorate.
I particluraly like the arts venue sticking into the river
“we need something a bit like Sydney Opera House, but don;’t copy it. Maybe a mix of Fremantle Maritime Museum and Fed Square. It could have the Guggenheim effect, like Bilbao, only less so.”
T-shirt link for MP. You may be too late for Xmas, since they take a while:
http://www.redbubble.com/people/skink1984/t-shirts/4067816-2-dog-swamp-wa-6060
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Lovely shirts, Skink.
I wonder if someone could produce a Pizza Showtime shirt? I’d buy one.
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we could build this
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No Swan Island? No Spiderman’s Undies? No Alexander Downer’s Leg? This plan has none of the ooshta of Carps’s nightmare dystopia. I can’t get behind this. I just can’t.
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it doesn’t seem any different fron Carps’ version, except this is straight lines where Carps had curves.
note the third imag ein this gallery:
http://www.watoday.com.au/photogallery/wa-news/perth-foreshore-plans-unveiled/20091213-kq5c.html?selectedImage=2
there appears to be a cable car up to King’s Park.
a cable car!
thankfully it is being strafed by the Luftwaffe
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It’s all right, it’ll never happen. I’m sure Karlo took one look at that crowd perspective and got straight on the blower to Colon. That many people in one place is a dire threat to public order.
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Joseph Sapienza’s front line report from the Northbridge war zone is notable for
a. nothing happening
b. the immortal line: “I heard someone yell out “oy, you fat cunt!” and naturally I looked up.”
http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/heavy-police-presence-fails-to-deter-james-st-stoush-20091213-kq70.html
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A floating igloo?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM6pYG1DQ4s
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the cable car is an improvement over the wheel of boredom. It can stay.
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The peer review process “Recognised the importance of cross site visitation between the Waterfront and Kings Park and supported the provision of a mechanical connection linking the two locations. However the nature, type, location should be further investigated.”
I smell a monorail.
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I think a cable car would provide an excellent view of cars driving along the freeway.
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<a href=" Kangaroos are ingenious examples of God’s craftsmanship, designed by a Creator who knew perfectly what He was doing. To Him all praise, glory, and honour is forever due.
” rel=”nofollow”> I love leather. The resemblance is uncanny
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damn it this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8-Fj8EHpmo
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Except that the kangaroo represents natural selection at its best.
La Chong represents one of its profound failures.
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Hatred of Ray Martin. Rational or irrational?
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Entirely rational.
Sleaze at its most highly evolved.
(There’s a bit of darwinianism buzzing around in my cranium this a.m. Blame it on the failure of natural selection to eliminate the drunk drivers and spaced out yobbos who infect our world, as exemplified by the weekend’s ‘takings’.)
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Yes I’m inclined to agree Rolly re Ray.
I find the best cure for one of those mornings is to peruse a copy of the Darwin Awards.
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Is Ray Martin the Ken Doll version of Jeff McMullen?
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I though everyone hated the “straight Mike Walsh”? On irrational hatreds, I was just thinking how much the fucking dalai Lama shits me, but there is no Perth photo or local angle I can think of.
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Oh yes, me too. It’s so fucking easy to achieve a state of harmony when you don’t have to deal with partners, kids, bills, traffic blah, blah, blah. I’d be fucking enlightened too if all I had to do is wipe my own arse, and fly around the world (1st class?) talking shit all day.
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I reckon that the Daily Llama is OK considering his upbringing.
What shits me is the sycophantic performances of his entourage and other hangers-on.
The man has an active brain, which is more than can be said for most of the Buddha worshipers.
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I recall a sycophantic journo interviewing the Dalai Lama, and flattering him that he had a very direct look that appeared to be staring right through him deep into his soul.
the Dalai Lama replied that he was very short sighted and had forgotten his glasses.
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Shits me to tears.
There’s a potential tie-in with today’s post, being both have been the subject of evisceration by John Safran.
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John Safran is one of those intelligences wasted on the general public.
He shits me because he is so often right on target.
“Cast not your Pearls before Swine.”
Or something
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Speaking of Safran, THAT encounter outside of Toupee Ray’s house was shown on ABC1 last Friday Night – I’m surprised hw he allowed it to go to air after so many years after he chucked a tanty.
You can watch it here on Iview.
http://www.abc.net.au/iview/#/view/472955
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Doesn’t look like the ALP could organise a root in a brothel judging by the Cowan debacle.
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I think the correct term is “root in a brewery” or “Piss up in a brothel”.
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Don’t count your chickens, it still has to be ratified by State Executive who may decide to re open nominatikons (which I have a hunch it will).
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Whoops, I spoke too soon – not having read this – but my original bit about reopening nominations was pretty much correct.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/14/2770527.htm
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I read that Kelly has pulled out of Cowan and blamed Burke as the ‘kiss of death’
if Burke was the kiss of death, then I would have thought that hiring Chong to defend him in front of the CCC was the final nail in the coffin.
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Kelly successfully beat every other aspiring Cowan candidate into submission. Clearly he was poorly advised.
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Guise or Durack?
obviously the left think they own this seat, now that the right’s candidate has been caught taking a ch ch chance on the panama hat
maybe the ALP can find someone to go up against the commissioned officer?
After putting all their eggs in the Kelly basket, what a fsck up
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“nominatikons” – are they like political emoticons?
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yes Orbea, the libs are definately your ‘go to’ people when looking to arrange a root in a brothel. Ask for Troy.
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Cheers Frank.
Are you able to get your hands on the arrest stats for last Friday night? I’d be interested to see how many of the arrests were in the suburban wastelands as opposed to Northbridge, and whether it was just more public urination.
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Bento,
Here they are – only Northbridge I’m afraid.
http://www.police.wa.gov.au/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=JXrRpw4T4Y0%3d&tabid=1489&mid=1983
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yep, it’s a war zone out there.
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fewer arrests than previous weekends
nobody went to hospital, no weapons, no drugs (apart from the guy with a prescription), no assaults on police officers. Not even any urination.
remind me again what the problem is.
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And the biggest melee was at Barrackj St Jetty from a bunch of bogans on a boat who were spoken to by Water Police – and why didn’t they seize their booze in the first instance ??
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ummm…because drinking booze on a boat isn’t illegal?
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Not if they’re already pissed.
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how so? being pissed and drinking piss on a boat is not illegal, the skipper must have a BAC <0.05%.
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Did you know it’s illegal to drink in a car whether you’re a passenger or not?
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good luck piloting a car on the river, pissed or sober. there is no statute about drinking on a boat, other than for the skipper
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So, 24 of the 142 arrests were in Northbridge. Sounds to me like this crackdown should be targetting other areas. Maybe Cottesloe.
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Oh Dear, Operation Unite was so successfull, they united two off duty coppers with a taste of their own medicine :-)
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Mandatory sentencing for pissed up coppers. What would Mike Dean have done?
He should use those pissed pigs for his pre-selection push
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Just found the Operation Unite Stats – though not as detailed as the Northbridge stats.
http://www.police.wa.gov.au/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=WAZS2MuKDec%3d&tabid=1489&mid=1983
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Also, both the Dalai Lama and Jana Wendt both give the impression of being very, very dim.
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But not as dim as Ray.
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No, Jana appears borderline retarded if she doesn’t have the question written for her. Reminds of Julie “The Frying Pan” Bshop.
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no!
Jana is a goddess
that sleepy “this crap bores me rigid” delivery works for me
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She had her own show for a while. She was terrible. Fairly obviously dumb as a nun’s nightie.
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even Marg Downey’s impression of Jana used to work for me
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Marg had the advantage of being genuinely raunchy and impersonating the moon-jawed Jana. Jana had the disadvantage of impersonating a block of wood.
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How many times can an Abbot go into a Bishop?
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Is Ray’s hair a fire threat?
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it is if I get within ten feet of him with a blow torch
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Seems to have some kind of firebreak. Did he ask the ‘piece manufacturer, “Make me look like an 8 year old boy on his way to church”?
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Only when he tries to think and his brain becomes dangerously overheated.
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Ray looks a hell of a lot like one of the blokes on chanting duty at the Greek Orthodox Church in Northbridge yesterday morning… man those Greeks know how to party!
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The foreshore talk is disturbing: please concentrate on my photogerbalism.
TLA, my image is a masterpiece. Slightly tilted and extraneous objects in the frame are all the rage these days with the young pappers. I had to wait for hours until I could get the Fire Indicator Panel placed just so.
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is Ray starting his own international non-government organisation:
Reporters Within Borders?
I thank-you
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that’s gold skink!
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And I thought the Czechs had a lock on irony.
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fridge magnet diplomacy? would be better with the erotic version http://www.thefridgemagnetshop.com/acatalog/fridge-poetry–erotic-kit.html
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I saw that The West was advertising for sub-editors at the weekend:
“Ambitious journalists required to undertake training as sub-editors. Experience on local or regional newspapers an advantage. Very strong English skills required, as well as a penchant for punctilious pedantry*”
I immediately thought of DFOC, although I always imagined that sub-editing is where you go when that last spark of ambition has died.
* I may have made that last bit up.
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Wayne should apply
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That’s great: I’m positive about your witty jibes, and then I read this.
If I can’t be the bigger man, I will arrange for someone somewhere sometime this week to open a huge can of whoop-arse upon you, and you will rue the day.
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I understand richarbl is keen to bust some kung fu moves on teh skink. No fee needed I assume.
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tell me you didn’t just go looking for a copy of Saturday’s paper
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I have no ambition, little experience and still struggle to spell necessary.
Watch your back.
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I seem to be collecting threats faster than Julie Bishop can collect former leaders
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This is one Skippy that never skipped a meal.
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The only good thing Ray Martin has ever done
http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/media/s2571966.htm
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