Miss Maud Happy Meal

Nice to be back.  And nice to be back and find a submission from Cookster. And nice to be back and find a submission from Cookster not (all) about that damned Sexpo. The after party must have been at Miss Mauds, a worst that I have been remiss in not covering before. Extraordinarily Teh Cookster reports that kids get a balding Miss Maud doll with their Scandotrash meals. Jesper must have his scandish hand in this svenkage somehow.

Cookster says…

Welcome home from China – you missed a great Sexpo. Thought the attached might be worth a worst – this is what the kideez get when they order a meal at Miss Maude’s… her answer to the Happy Meal. It could use a few more hair plugs in its spartan Nordic scalp. The two year old boy had it completely dismembered about two minutes after these shots were taken. Made in China I think… comes with a little box of 30 cent cigs and a pocket Love Rocket.


About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
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26 Responses to Miss Maud Happy Meal

  1. shazza says:

    Not all about Sexpo TLA? That doll screams Swedish porn to me.


  2. David Cohen says:

    Dome Rottnest give away a toy with their meals, too: it’s a quokka (missing half its fur) after a wild night with the schoolies at Pinky’s.


  3. David Cohen says:

    we are here for nearly two weeks!


  4. Bento says:

    I assume that is a vest discarded seductively on the floor?


    • Cookster says:

      Damn it man, do you have a vested interest in the garment industry?

      No, those styrofoam filled cotton sacks are bean bags… we got a third one on the weekend – a cheeky little red number with a one-eyed monkey on it.


  5. B.T. says:

    Looks like the blonde gal from ABBA.


  6. Pingback: Twitted by freocookster

  7. Grrr says:

    This can’t be true.

    A Miss Maud’s happy meal?
    I want proof.


    • Richarbl says:

      Thats some fancy autofocus system on your camera there…or perhaps Shazza is right about it being Swedish porn.


  8. Richarbl says:

    I thought there was more to this story than soft focus seventies porn and languid half filled bean bags.

    Normally I would to lazy to bother but because I live two doors up from Miss Mauds thought I might check out one of these dolls for myself. The nice lady who has worked at MM’s for twenty four years told me that they had never given out dolls, yes there is a childrens club, the only presents were bags of lollies and trinkets but definitely no dolls.

    Whats going on Cookster? Why are you besmirching this innocent (yet sexy) doll’s reputation?

    Yes, I know, get fucked


    • Cookster says:

      That is what Miss Cookster 4 bought home from her visit to Miss Maud’s in Karrinyup Shopping Centre. Verified by Mrs Cookster who was there at the time.

      Maybe it’s a local initiative and if so, it’s one I applaud. I’m all for giving out free toys with food and I say there’s not enough of it for us adults.

      The price you pay for a steak in Perth these days I can’t see why you don’t get a little water pistol or spud gun on the side. Maybe a tiara for teh ladeez? I’d relish the day I could dig-out a Kinder Surprise-style surprise from my garlic mash potatoes. What joy!


      • Unauthorised Maud merchandise! Head office better clamp down on this otherwise any kind of danish or even finnish influence might creep in. Teh Maud’s strength is her iron grip.


    • Wait, that must mean those apartments carved from what was it Salvos building?


      • Richarbl says:

        Correct LA, carved is probably the proper term. At least the wood inserts have stopped the walls from falling in.
        Nah just kidding, its ok, except for the tenants in the alleyway.


  9. shazza says:

    I knew that thing had Sexpo all over it!


  10. Snuff says:

    Of course what the kids really want is Kodomo No Nomimono.


  11. By the way, has there been any Jesper irony master classes while I’ve been gone?


    • Snuff says:

      Dull, of late, TLA. I have noticed, however, that his svenkage seems to be officially sponsored by the word “unfortunately”, although I’m willing to cut him some slack given that he complains in a second language. On Thursday he followed up his unintelligible review of “Angels and Demons” with an unintelligible review of Georgette Heyer’s “Devil’s Cup”. Quite often also plot just moves on and on.

      p.s. I did link today to Angelina’s frozen mushroom, of course.


      • Bill O'Slatter says:

        He’s been painting his moans on a smaller canvas , only till exam time is finished.


        • poor lisa says:

          Reading a Georgette Heyer novel and concluding that it’s predictable and “far far away from woolf”? (jesper didn’t know that before he read it?) Voluntarily going to watch a Tom Hanks movie? This is a swede on a deliberate quest for things to complain about.


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