Green Coffee

Thank you for your coffee, seignor.
I shall miss that when we leave Casablanca.
–Ingrid Bergman (Ilsa Lund) Casablanca

Do I have to create a new category of “worst rinsing of the coffee maker” in the office? I don’t want to point fingers, but Ljuke and Laser, J’ACCUSE!!! I’m dreading opening the toaster oven I can tell you.


About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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28 Responses to Green Coffee

  1. Squib says:

    There’s a lot to be said for instant coffee


  2. Apart from the taste.


  3. Mazarina says:

    That is NASTY! I think office kitchens could be an entire worst of category.


  4. Ljuke says:

    It brews a very earthy cup!


  5. poor lisa says:

    LA do you really believe that’s been rinsed at all, as opposed to half-heartedly inverted with a vague aim of getting some of the grounds out?

    I’d just nominate it for ‘worst coffee making instrument’ fullstop.

    Squib is right, it’s enough to make you go for a cup of pablo.


  6. devnull says:

    Personally Id rather drink the green stuff than drink instant….


  7. cimbali says:

    yes there is only really one thing to say about instant coffee – it’s not coffee.
    How long has this coffee maker been allowed to sit and develop this extra layer? – it is quite an impressive crop


  8. Mez says:

    forget the coffee – a 1970’s 8-cup electric percolator – that’s a best of!


  9. Laser says:

    You’ve heard of the benefits of ‘green tea’! Well this latest initiative of ‘green coffee’ combines the health benefits with that ‘caffine kick’.

    After all where did penicillin come from?

    BTW I am writing this after two cups from the washed coffee maker.


  10. cimbali says:

    I am not sure that washing the coffee maker would have been sufficient – that implies swishing it about in some Palmolive and luke warm water. I hope it was scrubbed vigorously with Gumption and somebody’s toothbrush to remove every last microscopic mycelium.


  11. Bedfords Crackpot Fraternity! says:

    There is only one suitable cleaning solution for this – an angle grinder!!


  12. A plasma torch might do it.


  13. Don’t say half your “stats’ come from your staff who have regrettable personal habits ? Embarrassment has its uses.


  14. Actually just yesterday there was a search string from google, saying”Frank Calabrese Fire”.


  15. B. T. says:

    Better living through chemicals….

    Just add some edible oil product non dairy creamer (powdered coffee whitener) to your next cup from that pot, it will kill the taste of green. Plus, if you add edible oil product non dairy creamer to instant coffee, it will cure you of any urge to ever drink instant coffee again.


  16. Squib says:

    That instant coffee with the green lid optimistically called Expresso is actually pretty good


  17. Pork Eating says:

    Yes here at Macca’s bank we’re infested with the same sort of vermin : cockroaches , rats , office staff and Bob Carr. I bet you find in the toaster oven a dead rat and the half eaten decayed crispy cheese sandwich it was eating at the time of its demise.


  18. B. T. says:

    “good” and “instant coffee” aren’t words I would use in the same sentence.


  19. Don’t they generally do boiled coffee over in the US?


  20. B. T. says:

    We prefer to think of it as filtered.


  21. B. T. says:

    And the water is never hot enough to be called “boiling”.


  22. B. T. says:

    No, that’s wrong, the water boils at some point in the coffee maker, the coffee is never that hot by the time its been throught the filter and the pot and gets into your cup.


  23. Squib says:

    I suppose you think cask wine is rubbish too


  24. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Actually just yesterday there was a search string from google, saying”Frank Calabrese Fire”.]

    Actually there is a firie in Qld who shares my name (no relation) who developed some sort of computer software which was featured on A Current Affair.


  25. cimbali says:

    # 18 “good” and “instant coffee” aren’t words I would use in the same sentence.

    Absolutely BT – as I mentioned earlier I don’t use “instant” and “Coffee” in the same sentence.

    Actually you should take that coffee maker down to Gloria Jeans in Vic park so they can attempt to add some flavour (any flavour) to the insipid brownish liquid they dispense.


  26. I used to be addicted to Coffe N Milk, the coffee premixed with condensed milk. Can be bought in a tube.


  27. Frank Calabrese says:

    Actually McCafe & Hungry Jacks make a good Cappuchino.


  28. Pingback: Contain your enthusiasm | The Worst of Perth

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