Here’s the Best of the TWOP twitter newsfeed  lately. Current news alerts are in the sidebar, or subscribe to them all with The Worst of Perth rss news feed so you don’t miss any gold.

Socceroos label South Africa “A hole”. Their first press conference was marred by the teams refusal to eat the complimentary biltong…

Priests performing exorcisms dread the painful erections that are a “common side effect “. You could have cut washers off it” said Bishop…

Ernie Dingo to play Sammy Davis Jr in Rat Pack tribute concert, with Garry McDonald & Lex Marinos as Sinatra & Deano. Ernie “Cast himself…

Saxophone overtakes Chilean anus flute & bagpipes as least stolen instrument. US artist Kenny G has been blamed for turning a once respected…

Voguing devastates China’s Tai Chi academies. The stylised posing originally popularised by Madonna has reached such proportions that…

Wilson Tuckey “I also knobbed a Green.” In 1962 Silent Spring’s Rachel Carson blamed DDT poisoning for brief affair with “An Aussie moron.”…

Spitting while talking is now assaulting an officer -Barnett. Police will have the power to taser so called “wet talkers” as part of a crack…