Here’s the Best of the TWOP twitter newsfeed lately. Current news alerts are in the sidebar, or subscribe to them all with The Worst of Perth rss news feed so you don’t miss any gold.
Smoke over Perth may be “burnt pubes” FESA. Fart lighting Rockingham teenagers have been blamed for the heavy smoke haze over Perth. Invers…
Portal claims ridiculous- Council. Former newsreader Peter Holland’s claims that a “stargate” exists under Council House were labelled bogus…
Terrified McGowan “Crying in toilet”. A Troy Buswell prank where he turned up as a swearing Santa to Mark McGowan’s electoral office ended…
“Gay crabs” hit estuary numbers. Homosexual-like activity, rampant in Mandurah species of swimmer crabs has reduced spawning by 40%. Scienti…
Ponting admits – I have a cat that blogs. The OZ cricket captain’s judgement was questioned when he revealed 1000’s of out of focus cat pics…
Hauritz claims his new steampunk delivery will knock Doosra for six. It leaves the hand like a Chinaman, but spins like a red bitch on heat…
Complaint as hotspot “Shows anus”. Short leg fielder Simon Katich made a formal complaint after his back door “lit up like a xmas tree” when…
Perth Zoo fortunes in hands of masturbating gibbons. Secret visitor surveys have found 94% of visitors ONLY come to see wanking primates…
Brawls, orgies while Peter Holland sleeps. Edith Cowan media students admitted they often fornicated or fought whenever the ageing lecturer…
Burnt out Guildford Hotel to become SAS live firing range. A state of the art anti terrorist training facility will require “minimum modific…
Ben Elton hits out at WASO as Danny Green preferred as celeb baton. “You (Symphony Head Paul Daniel) are an arsehole . I’ve written musicals…
“You be the Princess, I’ll be the throne.” Tiger’s desperate love plea to wife…
Kingswood Country branded racist by American viewers…
The Worst of Perth 
I love the way some of these leave the worst to your imagination. Terrified McGowan “Crying in toilet”? Did he already have a childhood fear of santa, or did Buswell’s creepy antics provide him with an adulthood fear of one? Dunno if I’d fare much better if I were confronted with Buswell santa and unable to call the police.
A couple of other favs:
Tim Winton fights “No shoes no service policy”. A Sydney restaurant got more than it bargained for, when the dishevelled “Bum” they refuse…
Perth Town Square land declared “terra nullius”. Premier Colin Barnett said it would prevent any old aboriginal burial grounds being used a…
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Thanks mate. That is the advantage of the 140 characters. You have to imply the rest. I still get many people asking for the links to whole story.
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Also the use of random “” makes a “difference” too.
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Just looking at the west’s yahoo page shows some nice examples of the ‘style’, so I’d say you’ve nailed it.
Breaking News:
Storm warning for Goldfields and Eucla
Comm games terror risk ‘acceptable’
First images of Centaur released
PM should act against Japan
“Business as usual” for Wicked Campers
Two out of five aint bad.
It reminds of one I saw the other day on ABC:
Labor governments ‘helpless’ on water
Sad to see the ABC parroting some senator’s bullshit as if it were somehow a fact.
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……”Sad to see the ABC parroting some senator’s bullshit as if it were somehow a fact.”…(skib)
It’s sad and rather pathetic that the ABC’s new editors feel that they have to take a ‘tabloid’ approach to the sub-headings that they create, in general.
It seems that they assume that their readers/listeners/viewers need to be ‘titillated’ into paying attention.
Ratings hypersensitivity gone mad.
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Where’s the fucking edit function???????
Line two; please read ….”ABC’s news editors….”
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Make that ……”…Line three;….”
Dammit!
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Have you got sunstroke from the sand dunes, Rolly?
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And a sunburnt flange.
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What do you expext from “Their ABC” – no doubt still suffering from the boning that Howard gave them financially and the constant criticism of it being “Left Leaning”
Of course this criticism has been around since the 70’s as the Naked Vicar Show observed
Original post from here:
http://pub44.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum=3725630012&frmid=8&msgid=1096737&cmd=show
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You are in the descent stage of your fever?
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I feel OK, but it may be the Codral sandwich talking. Will know in a couple of hours.
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Sez ‘e, feverishly working through the back-log of contributions before him………
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…..and this http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/01/10/2789016.htm is NOT a twitter:
“Teen forced to marry boyfriend’s dad.”
“A New Zealand teen was forced to marry her boyfriend’s father and consummate the marriage after the groom gave her parents a pig and some mats as a dowry, according to a report on Sunday.”
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hang on… isn’t twitter for geeks?
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When done well, as in by me, no.
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like a haiku
on sudafed
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