Finally had the chance to go all Christmas on your arses. Jo put me onto QV1’s attempt, nominating the giant needle inside, but I was more taken with the pond version, with this giant present looking like it has taken a couple of torpedoes, and is about to drag these poor candy canes to Christmas dinner in Davy Jones’ locker.

And for some reason when I see their star, the word “fisting” comes to mind. Not sure why.