Here’s the Best of the TWOP twitter newsfeed lately. Current news alerts are in the sidebar, or subscribe to them all with The Worst of Perth rss news feed so you don’t miss any gold.
Edith Cowan lowers nursing intake scores. Experts claim ECU Nursing graduates won’t be able to find your arse with both hands…
Jack Van Tongeren to be new face of Skyshow as Lotterywest withdraw sponsorship. “It’s a great fit for us.” Van Tongeren claimed…
ShamWow foils street urination. A pensioner who threw a ShamWow onto the genitals of a teenager urinating on his fence, would do it again…
Overheated public turn on sharks. 2 sharks who closed Perth beaches got more than they bargained for as swimmers “tore them new gill slits”…
Buried Hangi “slow cooks forever”. Council workers in Timaru inadvertantly laid a concrete path over a buried hangi. Returning from pub,…
“Brozebo” refused planning permission. Part of the Men’s Sheds project, the Brozebo where men could stand in the shade and talk about chicks…
Malaysia -We invented the Singapore Sling. Originally made from Palm Oil & “blood of a Chinese Communist” the Malacca Sling was stolen by…
Hammond asks court to declare tree “hostile witness” as Patti Chong set to represent “Chainsaw Council” and Geoffrey Robertson flies in…
Beach residents fall for wind scam. City beach residents who paid for the Freo Doctor to arrive early at their houses have lost their money…
The Worst of Perth 
I don’t know how they do things in Timaru, TLA, but that could never have happened when I leant on a shovel for the Port Chalmers Council. We took weeks to even think about laying a path. It was a great gig, as we weren’t required to work if it rained, and this was in Dunedin, so we spent most days in the van playing cards. The pièce de résistance was that if it was raining at 7am when we were due to be picked up each morning, we could wake up at 6 30, hear the rain on the roof, then roll over and go back to sleep, content in the knowledge that we would still get a full day’s pay.
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I did my time on the stop/slow bat too, snuff. Perhaps that’s why this is one of my favourite news quotes of all time:
I couldn’t find pics, but you probably can.
Love the nurses tweet, TLA. Were any believed this week?
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And this wasn’t bad either … “State DOT road crew gets out on site and discovers they left the shovels back at the work shed. One of the workers radios in and asks that someone bring shovels. Upon being told that it might be an hour or so, the worker said, “that’s alright, we’ll just lean on each other ’til they get here.”
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I couldn’t find the deer with a cursory search either, Bento, but I think I know what you mean.
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Keep ’em a-commin in TLA.
Apart from being funny, there’s a lot of genuine wit as well.
A rare commodity (comeditty?) indeed.
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i had to google sham-wow (which is kind of sad) because that particular tweet made me chuckle. no late night infomercials for this monkey i’m afraid.
on my sham-wow journey i did discover that the sham-wow guy, vince offer, is actually and ex-scientologist who is now suing their arse off. love it. go vince. they were mean to you.
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You get sham wow ads all day too.
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good to know TLA, i might investigate further to fully enhance my sham-wow experience.
Having just spent 6 weeks on abc 1,2 & 3 i look forward to anything that is not a cartoon or animation.
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Channel Go will give you some ShamWow action along with I dream of Genie
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Come Wednesday i’m there! Introduced my little guys to Maxwell Smart this holidays on Go.
They loved it. There is hope for the future generations after all.
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ABC is advertising a compilation album called ‘Don Bradman – The Songs He Loved’. Brilliant.
You could learn a lot about merchandising from the Don, TLA.
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And the Don loved absolute shite? Say it baint so. Wait, just looked at the list. “I like big butts”? “Funky Cold Medina”? I take it all back.
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Please. The title is “Baby Got Back.”
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TLA Sham- wow reminds me of Tarn- off which I do believe you advised me to use on myself once or twice.
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Not ON you, on your personality. Big difference.
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Sure, I meant metaphorically.
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You watch TV in the daytime?
Sorry. I forgot that CH.9 transmit the cricket.
I do wish that they’d learn how to run a decent commentary, though.
Even I might deign to tune in on ‘bad’ days, if that were the case.
Love the game, don’t mind watching from the stands, but the inane disjointed prattle that passes for commentary annoys the very hell out of me.
ABC radio is only marginally less odious.
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this is nothing about nothing but for the last 70 minutes I have been laughing my tarvu off:
http://io9.com/5431426/70+minute-review-of-phantom-menace-is-the-only-prequel-im-ever-watching-again
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I especially like the one about the hangi being concreted over. Makes me think of all the meat that will be charred to death on Australia Day.
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