Well-spotted by Misspent_yoof: “Classic update from The Worst online today. Apparently Serco managed to lose a midget prisoner: ‘Hayward is about 70cm tall, with a slim build and light skin’.” Good work My – but I believe our diminutive friends are known as little people. 
Worst Talk
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The Worst of Perth 
Shortarses are known to be trouble. Shortarses thru history : Hitler , Stalin , Putin. I rest my case.
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Don’t approach him, however if you trip over him by accident…
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A sudden , sharp pain in your knee.
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Strap a tray to his head and “Hey presto” Hors_d’oeuvres are served
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There’s a strange blob in the tread of my tyre …
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Last seen heading towards the St Kilda football club with a small jerry can and a box of matches.
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Closely followed by a cete of badgers.
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“…he intimates that Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world’s leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf”.
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Smirking midget porn stars. Can never trust ’em
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This is why we need mandatory minimum sentences for gnome invasions.
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Don’t sweat the small stuff.
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Too little too late.
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Still laughing! Classic.
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You must be this tall to be secured in a van.
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With a distinctive cross-eyed fizzog like that, plus a plaster cast on his right arm, and wearing prison greens, he’s a born loser at losing himself in a crowd, ain’t he?
I bet they find him at his girlfriends place, too.
I’m sure proof-readers were the first to be sacked when news moved across to the ‘net.
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In his girlfriend’s pencil case.
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They’d never find him in Armadale or Dianella then.
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He was last seen hiding behind Tommy Lee’s cock.
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…and all the while the measure is in imperial units, which presented a nigh impossible task for an air-headed twenty-something “reporter” to convert to metric.
Anyway, it was only someone, eponymous, taking the Micky out of the prison system.
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