As part of thinking about a new direction for Weekend Worstoff, I thought we might look at the council merger of TWOP heartland so hotly opposed by local hottie Allannah Mactiernan. Will it really be worse for the area to have the badlands north of Vincent ceded to Stirling? To my mind the splitting of juristictions will lead to an increase of vibrancy. (Although we still don’t exactly know what vibrancy means.) Different policies to bins and public art will lead a magnificent melange of tastes and sights. Imagine, one side of Vincent will be all fixies and poodles, the other utes and pitbulls. One side has 6 rubbish bins, including one for pink waste, the other is permanent verge dumping. You can’t tell me that this tension wouldn’t produce the most vibrant pleasure node in the country.
And will it really be the death knell to the Beaufort Street Festival? I think it will be the making of it. Expand the fest past Walcott into Neo Stirling, (or will it be Bayswater?). On one side you’d have all the normal fire twirlers, junkies, fixies, prostitutes and the special breed of bad jazz that only Perth produces in such quantities, while up the road you could have another pleasure hub noded on Bell Enders, featuring washed up footballers, fifos and pensioners, all wearing that bad taste fashion label that I can’t remember the name of. Where these meet how about a cage fight between Ali Bodycoat and Jimmy Barnes? Why not? Let’s think of the positives.
There’s a “community” rally today in Angove Street. It’s already a fuck up. The plan was that if it was raining it would transfer to the Rosemount Hotel. WRONG. You start at the pub and stay there, whatever the weather. Do you want to be part of Perth? Then stop thinking like Stirlingites.
No, not splitting the arrondissement would be the real crime. 
The Worst of Perth 
This response was on the Facebook page for the rally: “I agree! I live in City of Stirling & it’s lame as…I totally envy the lifestyle/sense of identity that you urban villagers have. However I can’t come to your rally I’ll be playing sport.”
/vision of “sport” as a sort of nebulous catch-all involving mukluks, croquet mallets, twin volleyball nets, a bronze discus, a 1912 Stutz Bearcat racer with mag wheels/Budweiser sponsorship and 600 hockey pucks.
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I’m sure The Hudson River Valley already provides pink waste receptacles.
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We call them “weekenders.”
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I’m going outside to read the New Yorker in the winter sun. I would send you a copy of The Mt Lawleyan if there was such a thing.
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I heard the Embletonionion does a good line in retro photo gerbalism
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Where’s Bento in all this? Can someone run the calculator over my pink waste bin proposal? (Ie waste generated by festivals, posters, coloured feathers etc). I was also looking for praise over my use of “noded”.
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‘noded’ in close proximity to Bellenders is liminal pr0nofilter
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Surely it’s Obliteration Vibrancy instead of Merging.
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Don’t focus on the negatives. Pink waste bins.
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Negatives? Wait til Bento arrives and starts ranting about building heights and R-codes.
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And Kalamunda/Redcliffe also an excellent fit.
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The urban villagers would definitely eschew sport, but you might tempt them with croquet.
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That is so 2012: the hot recreation is speed boules dating.
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Boules is totally played dude. As is slow cooker/swingers parties.
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Stirling to ban Slow Cooker Swingers parties in council shake up.
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its all thermomix spitroasts now
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I just love the inclusiveness of it! I am currently leaving to go eat food and drink liquids!
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drinks menu at the indian restaurant we ate at last night was labelled ‘liquids’. sadly, food menu was not labelled solids.
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Were the liquids separated into colloids and crystalloids?
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If you ever come here, they are restoring the Treasury building directly across from Council House and making it into that unholy creature a “boutique hotel”.
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Boutique hotel? Fancy drinks? I’m all for that!
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If only.
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More likely cocktails in screw top jars. For $28.
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Nuts.
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fruity lexia in a vegemite jar $10
pablo frappe $10
cuppa tea in a promo mug $10
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Pablo frappe. Still laughing.
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the barista wears a sombrero
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how about paleo frappe?
is it even possible?
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heh. I guess you could get them to be passed through a goat? Or something.Then frappe the turds? With goat milk?
Funny thing is, that although I love the idea of the Pablo frappe, a Copper kettle or International roast version doesn’t excite.
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no sombrero.
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But copper and internationalness both should have their own appeal.
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both copper and internationalness are not trending in this election campaign
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“One in, all in” sounds suspiciously like the 2010 Gay Pride slogan.
You don’t want to know how that ended up.
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In a pink waste receptacle?
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If only …
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City of Stirling goons sighted this morning at the corner of Vincent and Beaufort. Appeared to be removing a tree. Probably to install new ‘entry statement’. Welcome to the Sudetenland.
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Alannah is touting nuclear power this morning. Maybe they were preparing the foundations?
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She’s touting croissants in the PM. I would have advised friands.
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friands is your solution to everything.
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Have they ever caused problems for anyone? Good DAY, sir.
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Well I guess if you had a nut allergy they would cause a possibly fatal problem.
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Surrender my friands? NUTS.
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Conveniently close to the Hyde Park Cooling Ponds.
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