Matt claims this was the best ride at the Royal Show. Was it $15 per Matt? Actually they should have made it $80 a go, the hook being that you get to stand up and walk away afterwards.
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The Worst of Perth 
Did anyone try it?
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when’s your band having it’s next gig? I’d like to come and show support. Maybe we could have a TWOP outing. Do you play requests?
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do you cover ‘Living on a Prayer’ by Bon Jovi?
because that would be like awesome for a Christian hair metal band
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I have no band and anyway how the hell did you come up with the idea that I did?
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They kicked you out of the band? That’s a terrible thing to do to a cunt
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did they kick you out, or did you leave?
creative differences?
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Tragic. The Wheel Clampers were a great band. The Yellow Album was probably their best.
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The Pitchfork reviews of the L’Album Jaune were promising though –
“preternatural and precocious arrangements, potent and anti-melodic. The ennui of longing and self-conscious self abasement, all viewed with the reference framing of constant masturbatory references, aging, lost youth and agist existential angst, invocation of Lucifer, Hell, and a gynaecological fascination with labia. Track Five – ‘Escape Button’ a paean to a father figure obsessed with internet pr0n, is a standout in all its 37 minute glory hints at juvenile horrors”
X-Press said it better – “These cunts are tight eh?”
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Rumours of a split in The Clamps, (as they then became known), emerged following their conversion to Christianity, and mixed reviews of their concept album Highway to WHAT THE HELL, despite the commercial success of the Alan Bond theme Live and let Dianella.
“Gaint.” Wired magazine
“Wired.” Gaint magazine
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Live and let Dianella. Heh.
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Nice one.
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heh
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Maybe it was a band on the run and he couldn’t keep up?
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I WAS NEVER IN ONE!
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Two then?
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You’ve gone solo? Big call, for every Robbie Williams there’s a Mark Owen.
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You could call the new band Menage a Une.
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Solo on the banjo string and pink oboe
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Twang that wire.
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yeah, but a solo guitarist playing Christian rock hasn’t got much of a future. Fail at that and you’ll be inside the church shaking a tambourine and singin’ Kumbaya
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did they break your legs first? is there a farmer stood just out of shot with an axe-handle?
fastest wheelchair over a hundred yard dash gets a subsidy
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O H & S gone mad.
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This is possibly the worst worst of all worsts.
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agree.
i am trying not to think about the mind that woke up one morning thinking ‘i’ve got a great idea for using aunty may’s old wheelchair…’
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Its a Margaret Court ride, you sit in the wheelchair, along comes Maggie, she lays on hands and you’re cured,
“Take up thy bed and fucking walk, you ex-poofta”
“But I’m not gay”
“CURED!!!”
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No, but seriously. Wot fuck is this scene man?
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Seriously? riffing on faith healing, the charlie court statue, Maggie Court’s repression of sexuality and royal show rides
Is there a problem?
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Fuck u !
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Thanks, Anon. This is a great thread.
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On the Royal Show… 3-D glasses for watching the fireworks. A genuine worst.
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Seriously ? No respect for tradition.
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The warm up guy explained that yes he knows fireworks are already 3-d, but that the glassess would add a new dimension… he paused just long enough to realise that would make them 4D glasses.
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He’s been watching too much Dr. Who perhaps.
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It is not possible to watch too much Dr. Who.
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When is there going to be a US-version made?
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This man is correct.
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did you wear yours? my fourteen was smart enough to realise they were crap.
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I gave mine away to a man who was desparately trying to find an ‘IGA Girl’ with about 2 mins to go. But I did sneak a peek using my 5yo’s pair just in case I truly was missing out on a new dimension.
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…..And….?
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I was not.
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I’m curious as to what a “warm-up guy” does before a fireworks show, pour kero over himself a la Bronwyn Bishop and get the crowd to flick matches at him? Isnt the show smoke-free?
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throw kero over an older person.
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In the wheelchair.
Initiate ignition sequence (could cue up an old 96fm Skyshow prelude voiceover with Fred Botica).
And then push the fucker and RUN!
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Phew! the centre holds
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no flip flopping, just theft from the young ‘uns
welcome to the royal show
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This seems a clear reference to the carnival in “Father Ted”.
Next up: “The Tunnel of Goats.”
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Spider-Baby!
Freak Pointing, Whirly Go Round, The Pond Of Terror, Goad The Fierce Man, Spinning Cat, and The Crane Of Death.
careful now
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Ah yes, Funland. Freak Pointing, The Ladder, Whirly-Go-Round, The Pond of Terror, Spinning Cat, Duck Startling, and of course, the Crane of Death.
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oh.
you forgot Goad the Fierce Man
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Oops.
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Spastics only.
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