Tableaux week apparently. Marvellous worst by Matt. Basket weaving free. Japanesers won’t even have to Cambio any yen to experience this motherfucker. Free basket weaving! There’s another kind by the way? While I’m still chortling (that’s North of the river loling) Matt pulls out a hastily stencilled walk of tools, featuring John Bono Butler who shits me, on High Street which also also shits me! If you think I’m going out of my way to pick on tired, dirty, ideas bankrupt, bogus, crappy, Nepalese hat wearing, tandem riding, shoe eschewing, knobhead central Fremantle, then you’d be right. How could it have been allowed to turn into such a shithole? It can’t all be the Dockers’ fault. Could it?
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The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
Stencilling obviously done by someone with dreadlock obscured vision, I’m trying to determine whether it was done by someone using stilts, or was it someone on a unicycle?
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Someone swallowing swords or juggling chainsaws maybe?
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So what, You just take a basket and they weive it for you?
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Oh fuck off will you
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I wish you’d break character just once, to explain what it is you get out of this.
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abuse, mostly
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Some people pay good money for that. He’s on a good wicket, this way.
I mean, I’ve heard that some people might pay money for that sort of thing.
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you cant even spell weave
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You might want to make yourself comfortable. You’re going to be here for some time.
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FIFO.
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TLA is OOC, shazz: I urge you to whack him with the hegemony stick (NO OFFENCE.)
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I have full respek for those that have to live this nonsense every day.
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I’ll have you know we had a very groovy small bar open last week in Freo. That aside I agree the town centre needs some serious attention, starting with Myer. Stray off the beaten paths and there’s some very nice things happening around the place. A thriving cafe/restaurant culture away from the main strip. From what I can tell it’s only out of towners who go to the places on the main drag these days.
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Aka those catching the bus to Yangebup and Kwinana Hub.
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How about some new mannequins for the roundhouse?
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World Sailing Championships coming, there’ll be naught but ooshta as far as the eye can see. Except mannequins. A bit outre.
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What’s the new bar? What’s the shoe policy?
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I dont know the name. On the cnr of Wray Ave and South Tce. Same mob who run Harvest in North Freo. Nice guys. We were poking our noses in the other day while walking past (with shoes) they were still in prep mode and invited us in for a look and chat.
Apparently there’s another due to open soonish in South Freo. Where the old Song Tam Vietnamese restaurant was. And is conveniently staggering distance from chez shaz.
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Even the Seaview might get a crowd the way the South Freo area is moving.
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Lets hope not Pete.
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Why is there nothing good staggering distance of my Wolf’s Lair in Embleton?
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I think you’ve answered your own question there.
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The eagles nest? The Bunker? The Iron Beef Curtains?
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If you take a very loose and extended view of “the centre”. It’s a massive area that has terminal tiredness. Waaaayyy past Myers on that side and way past the awful fishing boat harbour area and sailing club the other way.
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True. For now.
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No talk of relaxing the climbing on torpedo rules in the park? One of Richard Utting’s biggest regrets not rescinding that law.
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Let’s hope some of that happens. I assume the locals will rise up with their pitchforks and stop it though.
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Seriously, I think that it would make a huge difference to get rid of the Dockers. There’s this endless bumbling cult of losing hanging over the city. They should try and sell the franchise to Ceduna or Bunbury, or even Hobart.
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Will Freo’s new small bar have the ooshta of The Classroom, the new ‘education themed’ establishment in (near) the Barrio? Will it fuck.
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cocktail gatronomy???
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Just what Perth needs. Another Hogsbreath cafe’.
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Hog’s Back FTW !
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Puttenham? Limerick heaven.
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WTF is gatronomy ?
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an application made by tla or tl101
has anyone else noticed they both are tl…?
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Is that “Vibrations” site? Opposite old Vegas.
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‘The Classroom will be an ‘education’ themed bar. This theme will be carried across all aspects of the venue i.e layout, decor, food and beverages. The bar will use recycled school furniture, creating a fun and inviting trip down memory lane for customers.’
nothing quite says ‘fun’ like school.
does that mean they will be serving tapioca and raspberry cordial? Or were the owners lucky enough to attend a school that served tapas and cocktails?
I won’t be going unless the women behind the bar are dressed in St. Trinian’s outfits
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Putting your hand up to go to the toilet would be an improvement though.
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I’ll go just to see skink get the cuts.
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sister leo and the strap all over again tla.
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Fucken mole. RIP. No offence.
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Slowing down a bit. I thought this was going to be one of the fastest ever to 100 comments.
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‘the cuts’ ? I don’t know what that is. I wasn’t schooled in WA.
is it some sort of sadistic practice that you would like to witness? I’ll do anything for a girl in a pleated skirt.
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Yes it is. Exactly that.
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I’ll see if I can find a list for you, if you like?
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I’ll go just to see TL101 standing in the corner with a dunce hat on his bonce.
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Actually you pull your pants down to go to the toilet – as any fule kno.
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How come there is still a Timezone there? Surely it is a front for something more interesting than first person shoot-em-ups? I mean, wouldn’t you stay at home with the Xbox and plasma screen?
Talk about anachronism… maybe it’s heritage listed?
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OOC? Old, old cunt?
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FIFO- fly-in fly-out? (Bloody miners!)
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Fit In or Fuck Off .
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I had hoped you maybe had a new one that was Freo specific? Freo Imbeciles Fall Over?
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Fatuous Idiots’ Futile Ontology
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I like the way that the ‘Boulevard of B-List’ meanders side to side, possibly so it can be enjoyed by Friday night drunks as they stagger home.
unless of course it was created by drunks as they staggered home
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Matt says it was for Winter music festival. Wonder who else. Strarred.
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have you been taking grammar and spelling lessons from that tedious ballsack?
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the first star appears to say ‘The Joy Rings’
is that the name of a beat combo popular with teenagers? Sounds like a marital aid.
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There were bands on the walk that aren’t a pile of dreadlocked wank but I know what you bastards want. I’d say nearly every moderately successful Perth band of the last 15 years got a star, as well as a number of pubs. There was a wreath for the Harbourside, which I don’t remember having live music, but had an excess of stabbings.
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Lookout in Scarborough was like that a lot of stabbings. One new years eve i was down there and seventeen people got stabbed, i heard about it on the news.
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Dystopian worldview, knowledge of Scarborough, tendency to overstate the reality of crime… You remind me of someone, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
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Things are just rollying along as normal…
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Decent lunch at that new pub (c.r.t.f.n.of the place).
Good beer and beautiful sunshine.
Makes me almost want to live there.
Scabs, that is.
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Did I miss a dust up while I was laughing at how cold Canberra is?
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I hadn’t noticed the further meandering, and assumed the bend in the foreground was simply done out of necessity to avoid the urine.
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You know I kinda blocked out the urine. This worst keeps on giving.
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I thought that was the mark of a less disrespectful drunk?
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I thought it was street art. It evokes a late period Fevola or perhaps an early Watmough. It captures the Freo vibe – Northbridge with added hippies.
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Well done, RWL.
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He couldn’t handle the Hobart.
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in unrelated news…
some magnificent worsts from Gaddafi’s palace. The golden mermaid with boozies could grace any Perth garden:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/gallery/2011/aug/25/libyan-gaddafi-mansions-in-pictures#/?picture=378264822&index=0
and I also see that Lannie McT is going to run for Mayor of Vincent (Gateway to Dog Swamp)
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Didn’t you see my tweet? I’ll be runnin a “Say yes to Alannah” campaign. Possible slogan, “Can we do it? Too fucken right we can.” What loosers will she be running against?
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Heh, you could insert Alannah as the protagonis into almost any of those tweets t TLA. Some of them are a little tame for her though.
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I can believe her calling greg Chappell a weak cunt.
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She’s got my vote.
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Typical mistake. Should be getting closeup of boozies or possible flange/ringhole evidence.
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it might be tricky asking the guy with the AK47 to move so you could get a close-up of the bits that smell of fish
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no, didn’t see the tweet, but enjoyed it now
the big questions is, will Buckels run?
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Duke isn’t up for reelection until 2013. Plenty of time for TWOP to build an all-consuming campaign juggernaut.
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My dwindling goodwill here could be long forgotten by 2013 unfortunately. I should probably discard the last 2 years of my term and go head to head with the ladies. With TWOP in my corner what could go wrong?
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How’s that new bus service between Mount Lawley and Leederville coming along ?
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Also, random plug, if you are missing your dose of Buckels, get to PICA in the next week to see my brother’s new show: http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/entertainment/a/-/arts/10028552/together-alone-a-relationship-fused-in-dance/
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No, but cool.
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Frug ? Jerk ? Nestbeschmutzer FTW !
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David Cross is your brother?
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Funny – I was just telling him the same last week.
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Well I’ll have to make sure that TWOP survives at least until the election.
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<a href="https://theworstofperth.com/2010/06/28/design-inseminators-2010/"What indeed Mr Buckels.
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Bugger, here’s the link https://theworstofperth.com/2010/06/28/design-inseminators-2010/ for those that missed it.
I’m sure TWOP could come up with some excellent campaign slogans for you.
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The man in the boat
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Fuck me did I really say I’d do all that! Under Alannah anything will be possible – although as you can tell from the boat I’m more partial to lakes.
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Your brother sounds more like the man to get things done, although I think Germany has turned anti nuke. He also doesn’t have your hair worries.
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I’d definately be running for mayor if it wasn’t for that overhyped * Fukushima incident.
*possibly not overhyped.
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Who are you tipping in the Lake/MacTiernan stoush?
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Freo by 13 points.
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The Hobart Dockers you mean. Campaign –
The Hobart Dockers, where loosers meet the sea. Then marry their sisters.
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I’m not sure we can improve on Alannah’s “No fuckwits” slogan.
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Fair enough, and male voters would struggle to locate the man in the boat on the ballot paper.
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Sally Lake is other candidate. Sally or Alannah, who will be the first to launch campaign on TWOP?
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I quite like Sally, but I don’t think she is sufficiently bitter, hate-filled, foul-mouthed or alcohol-soaked to embrace TWOP as a campaign tool. Alannah, on the other hand …
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Sally Lake. Too talk show sounding for me.
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her profile says she leads ‘an environmental group working to improve the wetlands and natural spaces of the inner city.’
so a good slogan might be: ‘Sally Lake likes lakes’
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Wetlands in the inner city you say? Well things have changed in Perth. Or does she mean dugong pond at Hyde Park?
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Well HP’ll look good compared to those soon to be under Roe Highway extension.
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the lakes in Hyde Park are currently full of water – hurrah!
I credit Buckels and his progressive environmental policies. That, or the rain.
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The mayor was recently talking about making sure the lakes always had water, a position they had previously abandoned because it was deemed idiotic to pump valuable water into them.
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Well you can’t have your water and drink it too.
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The mayor was also quoted on the ABC last week as claiming:
“”The first thing is the pool, the pool’s going to be increased, the lanes are going to be increased to 10 and it’s going to be deepened,” he said.
“Because today of course, kids are getting taller and bigger and we need the pool to be deeper.”
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-08-23/beatty-park-upgrade/2851908
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Finally someone is thinking of the children.
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Sorry to me Beatty Park is Miss West Coast where you could see gems like this:
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They even had an E-Z-GO…
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No Pinder Surprise though I’ll bet.
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The consensus among my freo friends is it’s Notre Dame’s fault not the poor Dockers.
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The only ones to have done something different with those old buildings. Also bringing international students into heart of the otherwise crappy city centre. Yes their Jesus jockey background is a worry, but no definitely Dockers.
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Agreed, the uni has done a nice job with many of the buildings, but their tax/rates exempt status is fucked.
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http://ficra.freospace.com.au/?p=274
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Ficra? I feel like starting a group with acronym Mictura.
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and every one goes home at the end of the school day.
9-5 ooshta.
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The sort of ooshta that can only be generated by Christians with no money.
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christians without money would not be welcome i’m thinking.
how else ya gonna pay those fees?
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But the Mictura I mean Ficra site says that even if they had to pay rates it would be fuck all anyway.
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Fuck all is better fucking nothing.
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Well it claims it donates way more than the rates it would have to pay anyway.
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The MOU time frame has expired and there is no longer any onus on them to do that.
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The Jesus Jockey U thing seems like a furphy. I like the idea of them lighting the buildings at night.
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Yep me too.
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Well a lack of $500 000 is not going to be central to the city’s problems. You’d get a couple of faux historic rubbish bins installled for that. If that.What if the Dockers donated ten grand every time they shamed Fremantle, Perth and Western Australia,
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500k would go some way… but the Dockers forking out 10k each time they shame Freo? That’ll send them to the wall in half a season.
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That was my plan. Let Hobart deal with the shame. They’re already marrying sisters, so they will have a higher tolerance.
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It’d look like fucking Dubai by the time the finals start.
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With a side order of Shanghai.
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How nice of someone to try to emulate the Hollywood stars in Freo. Is that a piss stain on the footpath next to JBT’s star? Soak in that vibrancy.
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They missed the opportunity to do the handprints in wet concrete thing. Except it would be bare footprints.
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Flanked by dreadlock imprints. In my world.
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Only so long as it was quick set concrete.
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Hemp jungle
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Freo’s in terminal decline, but the biggest it has is the urban planners up and down Stirling Highway. Just block all entrances and exits to the highway between Eric St and Bayview Tce already you fools.
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You have something against private schools ?
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Perhaps the reason parts of Freo have become so shitty is the influence of the member for Bussleton. I mean Bussleton’s been fucked ever since the marine centre closed. Who wouldn’t have wanted to drive for two hours to look into a couple of corro tanks with a demented shark doing laps?
Oh, & the new arrivals – from yangebup etc. For that I blame the Christmas party buses in 2007/2008, exposing drunken cunts to somewhere other than Gosnells tavern.
rant over.
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i miss that shark in a shed.
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they should never have closed the croc farm :(
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Oh dear, I am at a certain team based event involving the Hobart dockers. They just played video & sounds of fireworks. Oooh.
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The sound of fireworks?
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Well, there was audio to go with the video. This is no small bar that’s for sure.
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