LEAR: Let it be so; thy truth, then, be thy dower:
For, by the sacred radiance of the sun coast,
The mysteries of Mindarie, and the night;
By all the operation of the orbs
From whom we do exist, and cease to be;
Here at ECU Joondalup Campus;
I disclaim all my paternal care,
Propinquity and property values of blood,
And as a stranger to my ute and me
Hold thee, from this, for ever (ie FOWF).
CORDELIA: Dude, back off.
The jumbled and incomplete impression I got from the raw comment stack (without being able to see the posts or who was slagging who) while I was in Viet Minh territory was that Orbea had fallen foul of various stalwarts and editors. Frankly I can’t be bothered to go back and get all au fait with the whole situation, but the cunt sent me this, so I don’t care anyway. As Orbea said, “Talk about setting your standards low – and failing.” Jesus is as much King of Joondalup as..well… Someone is king of Somewhere. (insert own krazy comparisons.) 
The Worst of Perth 
King of Joondalup druggies, and apostrophes.
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“High Fullutent”? – High falutin’?
Would context add or detract from this, Snuff?
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Poking a swamp that muddy with a stick could only make things worse, RR.
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I find it strangely captivating. “high fullutent sophisticated swine” AND “sport’s nut’s” AND a particular brand of chewing gum that the barber used to hand over to my brother and I for staying still while he cut dad’s hair…
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as a sophisticated liberal drunkard who enjoys fornicated with loud-mouthed women, I take offence at that.
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Sports nuts? Is that like a peanut in the shape of a tiny ball?
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I’m stuck trying to figure out why anybody would think that I smash a piece of uncooked chicken liver on Satan.
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….and may the good lord preserve me from religion.
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Credit where it’s due Orbs. This is a fantastic worst.
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My friend lives in Joondalup.
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Two more lines and you have a haiku…
Huzzah – it’s a spelling AND grammar AND meaning trifecta!
Do I win anything for spotting this?
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crucified in sand
my friend lives in Joondalup
suburban Jesus
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Dee-Fock King of “news”
My friend lives in Joondalup
Orbea TWOPs on
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King of News!
Yeah! I da King!
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INRI.
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And David wrote a story, and put it on the stone. And the writing was A BRILLIANT INTRO FOLLOWED BY IMPECCABLE NEWS STYLE. This title was then read by many as news: for the place where David was a gerbalist was nigh to the vibrant city: and it was written in The Walkley Magazine.
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i’d be wary of crowds on friday then defrock.
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What does that mean and what did you do to get a prize?
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With your exposition and composition skills improving, you may well be interested in entering a competition to be published on a leading news and current affairs website.
Or you could keep commenting here… hey, have you submitted anything for a post, yet, TL101?
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yeah ive emailed some posts but there never here and Bento jesus does not live there you Idiot!
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No you haven’t.
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Is he in exile?
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We’ve all got a friend [in Joondalup] in Jesus.
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So who stormed off vowing not to sully the blog until I returned? Are youse back?
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I think you mean Nate. Not sure if he’s back – he indicated he’d change his name if/when he does. Just keep an eye out for anyone flaming NF#1, and you’ll have your man.
It all got a bit nasty without our mighty goatherd.
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Cohen pulled a Borat on us, and all hell broke loose, or should that be lose?
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I think he changed his name to NatFan#1Fan#1
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Which is fitting given that … never mind.
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No that was me for one post :-)
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Awww. I sure wasn’t feeling the love after the zed and two noughts comment Orbs. In fact, out of retaliatory spite, I was thinking of labeling The King of Joondalup as 02, but it’s really very good.
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* zero squared*
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Peter Greenaway movie about a woman who amputates her legs for her twin lovers.
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So that’s what it was about. I’ve been wondering for 25 years. Anyone whom might not have seen it may do so here.
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I got the Greenaway reference Orbs – my paranoia was certain you were using the title in a merely flippant manner, without reference to the film itself. Anyway, thanks for bringing a bit of high culture into tin pan alley.
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Once again.
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dude you should totally get au fait
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Well of course they do.
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http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/11763581/king-of-joondalup?listid=2514041&published=true
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That bolt of lightning – will it still be safe to kick him afterwards?
Thank you, Skink!
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Rejoice. He hath returned.
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“Mine is not a kingdom of this world.”
So far it’s hard to argue against the banner.
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Amazingly the first King Lear quote I found had “orbs” in it.
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Jesus bless us!
(Henry IV Part I).
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40 years in the desert, part the Red Sea …. and you end up in Joondalup! Sounds like hell to me. Why have you forsaken me?
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No danger of having to part the waters of Lake Joondalup
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Not unless you’re looking for dumped white goods or shopping trolleys.
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King of Joondalup
a messiah for a new age
of bogans and druggies
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Joondalup must be some kind of dope central. 9am, bloke smoking a joint, leaning against his car, Grand Boulevarde.
Second time in a week.
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Sounds like he slept in.
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Plenty of thieves to join him on either side of the cross
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No virgins left to give birth to him though.
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The real worsts are those ladybug/clover bead drapes
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I would like to know what a “G Water Lifestyle” entails.
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Possibly was living water. 100% as effective as homeopathic water.
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I’ve never tried homeopathic water as a means of casting the demons out, though…
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It burns! It buuuuuuuuurrrrrrns!
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Hang on… wouldn’t homeopathic water be dust? Or maybe air? (water without any water molecules left in it)
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You’re not diluting it enough.
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Yup. As per Bento’s disturbing link.
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And I thought those drapes were shower curtains. As bead-based decor, it’s even worse worsting.
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Shower curtains for Maddington Swingers Club.
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You couldn’t wipe it on those.
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washable, christians think ahead, side hugs lead to all sorts of involuntary bodily ejaculations
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OMFG.
Can we please, please, please have a Christian Guitar Hero night for our next TWOP knees-up?
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All Creed all the time? Remember those Christian Television Association ads? I’m sure there was one that went “Jesus is still so-so with me…”
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I think you mean DC Talk.
I would so rock out Christian Side Hug.
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yes you are right.
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And this one, of course.
I’m yet to ascertain whether The Starlighter Quartet played Christian Rock, but Dave Bunker is still at it, and the Biltmore Motor Hotel was clearly Union City, Tennessee’s Red Castle.
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Heh. I always sing this “hello my god” when I call my brother.
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Oh the memories Orbs. That & Bob Santamaria lecturing on the evils of watching Dr Who or something.
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