A wonderful, wonderful worst from Peter from what must be 30 plus years ago? What different times they were, when Sam Kronja ruled weather, Peter Waltham parked the news, and Eoin Cameron was, err, the most popular thing on ABC morning radio. Well maybe not everything has changed. Since the moronic Cameron is still doing the same show as he did back then, I assume he still makes 5 Spice Chicken every evening, enlessly “rubbing the cavity”. There’s just too much to include. Also, perhaps for the best, Peter didn’t include Bert Newton’s alarming “Curried Dogs Meat”, or the frightening “Savoury Rissoles” by Wattsie. And “Liver Juniper“? The liver boggles. One glaring omission seems to be Jenny Satan nee Clemesha. And no “Sausage Surprise” by Peter Harries Ph.D, WC?
SPELD seems to still be going as DSF, providing literacy training to kids and adults with learning difficulties, so if any SPELD representative wants to point out how to support their fine organisation, please email or comment here.
Maybe they should reissue this. The recipes seem perfect for a swingers’ party. Sell a bundle.
Is there anyone who can’t image Eoin Cameron rubbing a chicken’s cavity?
Having seen Peter Waltham outside Curtin Radio studios a few times recently, and having also seen him back in his glory days, I would have guessed a Waltham recipe would have been”Pack of Winnie Reds A La Mode”, or “Peter Stuyvesant Wellington.” Peter claims that this recipe, (the book is his mother’s) has the most stains… Ahh. Right.
The Worst of Perth 
Ok, with Mike Walsh and Simmon Gallaher contributing – I’d say 1982ish , and as for Lady Court, that is the late Rita, Sir Charles’ first wife who died in 1992, after which Sir Charles later married the former Director of Nursing at PMH Judy McGibbon who was later his personal nurse who died in 2009 a couple of years after Sir Charles dropped off the pirch.
Libby Stone was a Journo with the ABC and later 6PR and still does voiceover work – her audio demo is here:
[audio src="http://www.frogmanagement.com.au/files/person/mp3/489_LibbyStone.mp3" /]
And a recent pic here:
and of course the late Vivian Gray was best known as the annoying busibodies Mrs Jessup and Mangels.
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Dr Professor Harries must have had his hey day just after this was published? Yes? Perhaps he could have submitted Raconteur of Lamb.
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No I think he was wayyyy before this.
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There it is :
Dog’s Ball’s Cheese………………………Dr Peter Harries (esq,)
Poolet Adele……………………………….Sir Troy Buswell
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Speaking of Sam Kronja – some kind soul is finally started to upload TVW 7’s 40th anniversary Specvial from 1999 which looks a lot better than the 50th one.
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How little the A-listers have changed, apart from the ones you have to cart around on the end of a piece of rope. The list of recipes has been totally mixed up , of course, nut rissoles belong to John Michael Howson and liver recipes from Livermore. How to serve dead donkey would be appropriate for Eeyore. I wonder if Caroline Jones still considers “Angels on Horseback” de rigeur.
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Overwhelming, and I’m sure Lazy Weekend Chicken, Speedy Spinach and Ground Nut soups would make for interesting reading. Speaking of literacy, Cheesy Leaks is mildly disturbing, and isn’t Poulet Adele a quote from Troy ?
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Well according to Wiki, she did write, “An authentic life: finding meaning and spirituality in everyday life,” which was a top-ten best seller in Australia in 1998. The followup, “Finding spirituality in bacon wrapped oysters” is about to be released.
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Pan Whiting avec Mushrooms sounds terribly exotic doesn’t it? I’m not quite sure what to make of curried dogs meat though.
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Glorious.
You boil the potatoes before grating them then you bake them in fatty liquids? Surely that results in more soup than casserole. If Waltham is the guy whose latest gig is spruiking Perth Denture Clinic this recipe makes sense.
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Magnificent sledge at the end there.
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And who doesn’t like having nuts in their rissole? No one, that’s who.
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Love to see Wattsie’s take on rissoles. Was thinking would be good to have an 80s B lister dinner party but one problem would be that the recipes are crap.
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I usually include Frankfurter Rolls in my dinner party menus.
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I’ll just leave this here
“Joan Sydney’s Cheesy Leaks”
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This is going to be the best worst of 2011
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Twenty-nine responses already, p.l.
A hungry sojourner stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens.
A brother is frying chips.
“Are you the friar?'” the wanderer asks.
“No, I’m the chip monk,” the holy man replies.
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If people want to request any recipes, Peter has to go round to his Mum’s to get the book. I would really like to see the Wattsie rissole – if I can put it that way.
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Thanks, DFOC.
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http://innopac.slwa.wa.gov.au/record=b2440538~S2#
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From the looks of those pics, I’m pretty sure there is one of her pieces hanging in the Shire of Kalamunda offices (not in the public area).
Any Shire employees reading this? I recall it is an exceptionally ugly mishmash of wool and sticks.
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They were very much in vogue at about the same time as swingers.
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http://catalogue.nla.gov.au/Record/429233
Also held at Murdoch
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Sorry – seeing John Michael ‘Hollywood’ Howson, Eoin Cameron, Bert Newton and Bernard King in one place gave me an overwhelming urge for a
doublesingle entendre.LikeLike
Who is/was Rinska Car?
Is Washa her older brother?
Hyuk hyuk!
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Rinske Car-Driesens at ECU Visual Arts. Now dry.
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Rinske was/is a 70s artist. She did those huge shaggy textile wool thingys.
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I am puzzled by some of the mysterious names I guess they must be the “Friends”.
I notice that Peter Dean’s spotted dick was shamefully omitted.
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Shameful indeed. Dean’s dick was being treated at the time. Fumigated or sumpin.
An Wattsie was always a big rissole man,.”oo . aaar , rissole” he would say drooling.
I find it hard to believe that Dennis Lillee could spell Spaghetti Marinara.
Don’t spare the sour in Ita Buttrose’s Sweet and Sour.
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The Lillee marinara is rather tersely described.
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Where’s your Buccaneers? Where’s your buccan rissole?
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Wattsie – Garcon, I’ll have a plate of the pissoles!
Waiter – Sir, that’s an ‘r’, not a ‘p’.
Wattsie – Right you are. Give us a plate of the r-soles, then.
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And pronounced Gaaaaarkon. too. probably “Oi Garkon!” too.
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I don’t know how to spell the sound of Wattsie’s laugh, but I’m sure you can all imagine it at the end of that exchange.
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A bit like a gutsier Sid James laugh. Ngyaa, Ngyaa, Ngyaa. I seem to remember that my father complained to TV standards or something about the Where’s your Buccaneers? ad, because the answer, “On the side of your Buccan head,” was offensive.
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He must be very proud of you.
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I am sure he is.
TLA Senior:’Where are your your Buccaneers, son?’
TLA: ‘Up your Buccan Cunt, Dad.’
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Testify!
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Wattsie was the Lewis to Martin’s Martin, and don’t mention Billy Cokebottle. Funny as a moldy rissole.
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That’s not easy for her to say, Big Bad Bill.
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Flo Bjelke Peterson is in a Bernard King / Reg Livermore sandwich.
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Prunella Scales and Timothy West – they were in Perth in 1980 for their production of Merchant of Venice at His Maj. I remember this well as our school went to a matinee performance and I spent most of the play at play in my Mormon girlfriend’s pants.
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1981 dammit
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Seems a tad young for cross dressing, Orbs, but that’s theatre I guess.
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Mormon sacred underwear is tough to get into right?
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Usually, yes.
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What, no Max Kay?
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Who has been left out is most revealing. Duck A la Yorkie missing in action too.
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May Kay is back on Perth TV advertising something or other – CAR RADIATORS – thats it.
The narrative is along the lines of Max Kay senior – stupid makeup, stupid hat, stupid voice, stupid face etc – car overheats, calls his ‘son’, cue Max Kay junior (same bloke oh the fun never stops) who arranges for a mobile radiator service van to visit the stranded Scot.
And that’s the joke, same actor, save on the fee, save on the radiator service, cheap because ‘they’re’ scottish and notoriously averse to …
Cue the Young One’s ‘Nasty’
I’ve seen it once and it is a triumph of Perth televisual talents.
Something tells me that the Civic Theatre Restaurant is due for a return.
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Perhaps Prof. Graeme Turner could be invited to contribute a recipe?
He could be a stand-out in the 2012 TWoP recipe calendar.
I am happy to appear in such a publication and will send my Bollinger Borscht to TLA this evening.
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I fear there would be about 20 submissions of Spotted Dick.
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we most certainly need to publish a more up-to-date version with today’s A-listers
Patti Chong’s Sweet and Sour (mostly sour)
Adele Carles’ Sticky Date Fingers
Giz Watson’s Clam Chowder
Col Barnett’s Wilted Celery Salad
riff on…
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Troy’s Fragrant Dog Rock Cakes.
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Simon O’Brien’s shit sandwich
Ben Wyatt’s salty cohones
Norman Moore’s Yellowcake
Pancake Oswal’s Lapin au merde
Robyn McSweeney’s Veal ala mode
Brendan Gryllth’th Lentilles avec champignon aux cabernet jus
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Wyatt’s kahunas might be sized more appropriately for appetiser.
What about Councilor Buckel’s yellow cake.
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Mick Murray’s Abalone Surprise.
http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2007/06/12/1949398.htm
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Would anyone really cook Moss’ asparagus and prawn casserole? Is Claremont Captain coach enough culinary qualification
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Graham Moss CEO Tourism WA.
Simpson Medallist, Brownlow Medallist – knows about food, in 1982 he would have been regarded as a footy god
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Tim Winton’s Dugong Steaks with Seaweed (just like mum used to make on a baking summer Sunday, back when we would run and jump and shout out like seagulls on the scalding Cottesloe sands, etc etc).
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Wyatt dropped from front bench
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/01/13/3112117.htm
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Bree’s Carrot and Cucumber Surprise.
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classy
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would then require Bree to rub her own cavity?
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Just to give a special [un]dressing.
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Alannah MacTapas is rumoured to be behind Carlo Matera’s small bar ‘Taylah’s’ (!!) going ahead in Whatley Crescent opposite Maylands station.
Click to access PIA_13858.pdf
Taylah’s ffs
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Matera? Not another footy player’s supper club?
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Awesome. I can ride there. MyNing could walk there.
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I read it – where is the AMcT link??
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The admittedly rather hazy picture of the interior seems to show a wall design of a bloke throwing a molotov cocktail.
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With a severed arm spurting blood. Much more interesting than Enders’ interior.
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Actually a bunch of flowers. It’s Banksy:
http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://sunishigh.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/banksy.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.rabble.ca/babble/labour-and-consumption/trash-intellectual-property-law&usg=__wQLEH-AVubTagDy3ZQCpiAfTZ0g=&h=325&w=300&sz=17&hl=en&start=0&sig2=j94jL6hnjt9lzvWb0ScCdQ&zoom=1&tbnid=HkwzbvhpqO18pM:&tbnh=144&tbnw=133&ei=8JQuTferApa0cMftudMH&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbanksy%2Bmolotov%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1432%26bih%3D578%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=384&oei=8JQuTferApa0cMftudMH&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&tx=72&ty=59
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fucking link fucking fail
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Best. Link. Ever.
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it’s a Banksy rip-off:
and we all just love Banksy
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from that submission:
“at risk groups:
rural and regional communities face particular challenges relating to alcohol for a broad range of reasons…
The Maylands demographic is a diverse one and contains elements of all at-risk groups, with the obvious exception of rural communities.”
is this a ‘no rurotards’ policy?
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Win
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They’ll be catching the “Prozzie” from Kalgoorlie and the Avonlink from Northam. Maylands will need a bigger station.
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No Kathleen Ave policy.
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scuttlebutt on the Eight Ave Gulag
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She owns three shops in a row there doesn’t she?
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Seems like Eighth Ave might need a new TWOP name…
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Skid Row?
Old Kent Road?
The Royal Mile?
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Eighth Avenue ? Hell’s Kitchen, FTW !
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I don’t know that I’d call Eighth Ave overpriced or theatrical. But Hell’s Kitchen has a nice ring to it.
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isn’t she the owner of the premises?
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Yep. Taylah made it to the Things Bogans Like shortlist of most awful bogan misspellings. See here: http://thingsboganslike.com/2011/01/05/bonus-poll-whats-your-bestworst-bogan-name/
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Surely the Oswals would have a rapidly prepared vegetarian offering. Then again, I guess lapin is a rapid vegetarian, and the condiment is well selected.
What would Rob Broadbent give us?
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Allanah’s Trifle ala XO?
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Or Beer Chicken?
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Todd Johnson’s Veal Capri.
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Julian Assange’s Wiki Leek Soup.
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Fat Cat’s Sardine Milkshake with a side dish of Sauteed Percy and Baked Flapper :-)
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Rick Ardon’s Syrup au Fig
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This is shaping up to be a very popular worst.
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best you’ve had in a long time
and set to run and run
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And combine this with The Red Castle Wine list! Your leg would basically throw itself over.
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Suzannah Carr – Deep fried suet dumplings
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Peter Bell: Bell Cheese Flan
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Matthew Pavlich – Fruit covered cream meringue
Andrew Krakouer-Bread
Luke Pomersbach – Two slabs of Emu Export, half a dozen red bulls and a Toyota Prado + an extraordinary license thanks
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Bento’s Planned Juliet Starwberry Surprise.
skink’s Toady in the Hole.
shazza’s Two Big Chicken Breasts.
et al…
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Just who is responsible for “Lazy Weekend Chicken” (p. 30)?
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Looks like Libby Stone too.
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But Eoin could prepare the cavity for you.
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Russell Wolfe’s ‘the entire menu in a bucket with two fried eggs on top.’
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Leave Dad out of this.
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I occasionally have 720 on the alarm radio – Eoin’s dulcet tones stir me to lighten the load quite effectively. This morning he consulted the almanac to find that Sir Joh was born 100 years ago today. What further pearls of wisdom imparted by the Cammo were lost to me as I closed the door to the smallest chamber…
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Eoin- radio laxative. Sir Joh’s rotting corpse is sitting slightly above the waterline in Kingaroy cemetery.
And what a fitting place for the Worst of Australians.
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So RubyRuby, are you saying a Vindaloo should be Cameron’s menu contribution?
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Edgar Metcalfe would, no doubt, love to be reminded of the bevy of cultural heavy weights he’s been counted amongst in this cookbook. After recently leaving Perth to head back to ‘the Old dart’, and doing a goodbye show completely panned by the West’s resident bulldog Ron Banks (and so many ‘luvvies’ complained that while Ron didn’t stay for the second half the paper still ran the review -How Dare they!) news is that Edgar’s returning to Perth because Blackpool just isn’t quite doing it for him.
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Bernard King might have been horrified to have been in the same company as culinary greats such as Wattsie, but then contributes fish rissoles himself! he does come back strongly with Veal Goulash with caraway dumplings though.
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It was love at first rissole between King and Wattsie.
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I heard they met at Kev Kavanagh’s.
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I was busy cowering in abject horror at the idea of Brazillian steak until the salmon mousse rolled around. If only more hostesses had used tinned fish back then, we could be spared the continued presence of far too many of these people.
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From Film Australia – Perth in the year of my birth – 1965:
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I lost the will to live at the 1:47 mark.
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Love the beret at 5.20.
It’s great! Sculpture, gay bakers, a bloke getting hammered in a cellar, a taxi driver who opens the door for you and dozens of kids ignoring a Mr Whippy!
“Cone, thanks.” “Yes, madam.”
And though it all the Daily News and The West Australian delivered.
They didn’t blow the budget on voiceover artists, though.
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Awesome. Buying ponies of beer. Wearing a suit and tie to the beach. Bring that back. And did you see the front of the Daily news? Enders Supper Club proposed. Smooth sailing expected thorough Council. A little disturbing was the dude in Council House. Thought he was going to expose himself to the typist.
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…and the dart champ, I thought he was a a little too Brisbane for a Perth pub
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And what about the speedway!
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Forrestfield Speedway was a great track, and good to see the old walkway at Cott again.
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I would like to think that somehow David Lynch created this film, except that in the end nobody died.
Not sure what the abstract would be. “In Perth there are many newspapers. Boats come here, planes also. We pick oranges and make wine. The wine takes the place of conversation during dinner, which is otherwise made up of awkward sidelong glances. In fact, the wine takes the place of all conversation at all times. After work, people ride buses, boats and cars except for one chick who stays late typing papers in the skyscraper somebody dragged back from Pittsburgh circa 1952. We enjoy roller derby, junkyard races and licking ice cream cones. And whistling. Don’t forget the whistling. You won’t forget the whistling. Ever.”
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The wine is interesting. I’m sure that in 1965 wine was still regarded as the sole preserve of homosexuals and foreigners here.
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It was. Wog Plonk. And was the Restuarant The Red Castle – tried to see from the writing on the glass, but it was a bit hard to see.
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Nice to see if those houses are still there. Claremont? I may have to start a campaign to wear suits at the beach again.
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They weren’t going to the Beach – they were going to Church – note the bible ion the hand of one of the kids (or was it the mother?)
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I will sign up.
I wore a black suit when I was taking photos at the Havaiiana Thong challenge at Cottesloe on Australia Day last year.
Waves breached my shoes only a couple of times.
I didn’t look out of place at all and my sweaty shirt was refreshing.
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Dad always said that in those days you had to be an alcoholic (of the sleeping on the street type), a homosexual, or a wog to drink wine in those days. Buying those tiny ponys of beer doesn’t look all that heterosexual to me either. Apparently it was to make sure you were drinking the freshest coldest beer, but not sure how that would make much difference with Swan. BTW Natalia fan, I tried to drink that ironic bottle of Swan you brought round, but couldn’t.
Helped some students from Bhutan today. Hit Beer is just one of the many Bhutanese brews apparently.
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Should have drunk it from a pony. You’re not a wog are you?
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I think I could stand it out of a bar tap, but bottled does not work for me.
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Old-school wogs loved they pony glass: my ol’ man used to drink ponies up until the 90s at the Italian Club, buying rounds served on those anodised aluminium roulette trays while playing briscola (Italian card game).
The pony would last about one round of play and ensured everyone put in equitably towards getting pissed. I think the pony glass also allowed the bartender to share a drink in case someone shouted them a beerski.
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Kanpai to their GNH, TLA !
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I had a crack with the magnifier myself, Frank, without success. It’s actually a (blurry, reversed) reflection of the coaster you can see at 5:52. It may well be the Red Castle, but that’s definitely not what’s written on the coaster. That sommelier is rubbish, I’m sure you’ll have noted. He makes every mistake in the book.
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I’ve just remembered that the restaurant at the Red Castle was King Arthur’s Table, Frank. The font and artwork on the coaster seem about right. There’s three words reflected, the last of which is completely blurred, but the number of letters and their shapes suggests the first two are Arthur’s Table. I reckon you’re right.
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Perhaps that’s why the young lady looks so uncomfortable?
“Mavis shifted in her seat. Bob had lived in Perth all his life, so the only explanation was that he was secretly shagging the busboy.”
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Contrasts nicely with this:
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3885695257/
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spotted my first car flags on Sunday
’tis the season
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i can hardly wait to get home and see them. arriving on the 26th and hoping for a sea of them.
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No doubt replacing those abominable car antlers some stick to their side windows—just replace the furry horns for a suitably patriotic Chinese-made plastic flag on the stem.
Noice.
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If you don’t like change and live in Perth (an oxymoron I know) the banal repetition of Eoin Cameron on 720 is like peeing in your wetsuit as you go for a surf in winter. You know you shouldn’t do it but it provides a short, comforting feeling of warmth and wellbeing that soon dissipates.
He and Susannah Carr are like media cockroaches – somehow they will survive a nuclear winter.
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Is it his fault that he’s doing the same shit show he was doing 30 years ago and it’s still popular? Was Wilson Tuckey to blame for being elected by those moronic bumpkins?
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Same with Sattler and Nurry on 6PR – same shit – people listen in droves and hang off their every word.
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A little different for Cameron. he’s doing the same show. the exact same show he was doing then.
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As grating as Eoin can be, at least he doesn’t spew bilious hate for breakfast—and he was an ex-Wiberwal. Mind you, more of the Malcolm Fraser/John Hewson socially moderate variety, than the John Howard/Tony Abbott type: I once asked him about what he thought of the Libs as of 2005, and he just rolled his eyes, as if to say that they were a bunch of arseclowns.
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I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that “cheesy leaks” should be “cheesy leeks.”
Otherwise…well, I’m not sure what they could be, otherwise.
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So, you haven’t heard of Julian Assange? It’s his new sideline – finding TLA’s punchlines and releasing them for the interweb…
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Sublime! Thanks to you and the googles my next dinner party shall have a special zing. a la Court!
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I demand to see the recipe for April’s Pork Logs.
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Pity you haven’t experienced the majesty of our 80s celebs. Wattsie was a footballer, then sort of radio ahh funnyman, then advertiser of swimming pools.
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Not to mention a copper and the owner of a Maylands drinking establishment xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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It got Kathleen Aved.
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Well the “Auteur” of said logs Reg Livermore was experiencing this when the book came out.
“His trip to London with Sacred Cow in 1980 created an unexpected sensation: the audience tried to boo him off the stage but he refused to oblige them. The Sydney Daily Telegraph subsequently lamented that his appearance in the West End had given Australia a bad name.”
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Pingback: Desserts of The Gods | The Worst of Perth
Listen to Mornings with Geoff Hutchinson its funny to some extent and I bet you its probally better then Peter and Mornings with Sebrina Blarr is good to.
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Talking about resturants please reply or tell me or post a comment i you think Sizzler is the Upmarket Mcdonalds,Thankyou.
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No.
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No don’t agree, or no won’t tell? I tell you, the comparison had never occurred to me before.
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Can you believe these people comparing McDonalds and Sizler like they’ve never been here.
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Hadn’t occurred to me that Sizzler was an upmarket anything.
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Please reply or tell me or post a comment i you think Jus Burger is the Upmarket Flipside,Thankyou.
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Never been to one of these nuevo HJ’s establishments. I note you could have a healthy burger and walk up to Enders. BTW, Enders is closed Australia Day, if you were thinking of celebrating your Australianess in a New York supper club.
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And when I say New York supper club, I mean former fish restaurant reimagined by a footballer.
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I was born an Eats man …
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Remember the big Fuss When Peter Waltham Joined Ch 9 ??
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Lot of potatoes cooked and ciggies smoked that week.
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Apparently when he resigned from Seven his picture was removed post haste – and the Canteen Manager chased him down to demand he pay for the stuff he had on tab.
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If I remember the contemporary reports, the portrait of Waltham was removed in seven minutes flat, as a symbolic gesture.
How the mighty do fall…denture ads on telly and a morning spot on Curtin FM. Wow.
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How the lowly have fallen. You may remember one of my best tweets
Jenny Seton tells how Peter Waltham “fixed her dentures” all night long.
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I recall that Peter Holland was seething with jealousy.
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Especially as he had to take unpaid leave in order he could run for the ALP in tghe seat of Forrest.
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I heard he was fondue-ing with rage.
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He ruled the news from the 70s right through the late 80s on Seven—so much so, that Nein poached him, thinking they could wrest ratings supremacy.
Ah, the Nein News kiss-of-death got him. As it did Peter Holland when he jumped ship from Aunty, for that matter, though he did stick around there a while, again with little success for Nein.
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Excuse me whats Hus Burger ive never heard of it?
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You don’t want to know L101. See here.
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Oh thx sounds like a good resturant.
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Pingback: Wattsie & Martin do Maylands | The Worst of Perth
Peter Waltham was a more than serviceable news reader but jeez didn’t he have a head on him?
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Laughing at the thought of Peter getting bizzay in the kitchen with his potato and cheese concoction. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y1YaXvi1bk
PRO TIP: If they are too soft they will mash.
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