Since the Inseminators 09 committee copped so much flack for their poster last year, I thought I’d run a competition for design suggestions for the 2010 event that might help them. I have a pack of Blue Stratos as a prize, with some TWOP tshirt or product as well. Make them 640 pixels wide.Do you want to do poll voting again, or let me decide? Probably run it for a couple of weeks. Here’s my suggestion.
Elegy in a Wheatbelt Caryard, by Outrage Cohen
Armed by Brik
Bush Pig by Natalia Fan #1
Bush Ball by Mez
Doggy Style by Artheretic
Basting by Vegan
On The Job by Vegan
WB by Bag O' Turnips
Bunny's Revenge by Cowpat
Burnout by Paracleet
Royalty for the regions by Skink
Boots by Snuff
Woodstock by Ljuke
Bored by Bento
Nervous by Belyea
Paintballz by WAtching
- Inseminotards by WAtching
- Wascally by Bento
"Foam" by Snuff
"Mucky Duck" by Peter
Bushpigs by Snuff
Inseminat'er by Natalia Fan#1
Cyst by Jaidyn-Jaxxon
The Worst of Perth 
Definately by vote.
Just remember people it’s not all about the rooting. Hang on a minute, maybe I mixed that up and it is all about the rooting ? Did we ever get to the bottom of that?
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is it possible to do this without resorting to the same sort of stereotypes that we criticised in the first place?
all my ideas have consisted of animals, casual sex, and casual sex with animals
and stupidity
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No. I doubt it.
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Shouldn’t we just let the bumpkins create their own worst?
Whatever we suburbaniste dilletantes create will in no way compare to the sheer shitful majesty and dumbfuckness of the B&S crowd.
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And how do we prevent the usual branch stacking?
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By stacking your own?
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Hmmmm. Should they do the same for Scarborough, one wonders?
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/facebook-sleaze-creator-may-face-stalking-charges-20100628-zdz7.html
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for starters tla, that font is far too sophisticated.
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Is it Beezneez or Bauhaus?
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I’m on it, TLA.
And I intend to win.
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Have had a great submission already. Better be good.
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I have loads of ideas, and absolutely no graphic design skills. Anything I produce will therefore be comparable to the vast majority of other signage featured on TWOP.
But what’s the point? DFOC will do a drawing of a stick figure with some literary pun and get his friends to vote en masse. Skink will provide a quality effort and cry like a girl when it doesn’t win. And nothing will be as good as the real thing.
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I’ll have you know that I cry like a fully grown man
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Zzzzz.
Respect my authority.
More goodies coming my way.
The people will speak.
Skink is the Kim Hughes of twop.
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I don’t know who she is
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Will be in the holidays. He may not have access to so many students. You don’t need graphic skills. Just find a pic and whack some witty text onto it.
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How long do I have?
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Plenty of time
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Expect my submissions tonight.
The usual email address?
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Glad to see some submissions even shittier than mine – thanks WA.
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That’s no way to speak about the winning entries…
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It ain’t over til the gaunt, emphysemic, verbose communist sings.
As well you know.
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Because there’s already so many, I may choose finalists for the vote. maybe he won’t make the cut?
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All hail the arbitrary decree of the benevolent dictator.
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Leninist?
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If we can’t come up with anything indecent, TLA, they could always enlist the incomparable David Thorne.
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Not sure about the link above, but this should work fine.
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No Curtin B&S????????
http://countrybns.com/forumdisplay.php?202-WA-Events
stupid bumpkins couldn’t organise a root in a brewery
I was thinking something along the lines of royal refugees for regions –
based in Laverton.
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First entry up!
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Excellent Jaidyn Jaxon. (Although I would have squashed a Bundy bottle in there somewhere). Love it!
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Just occurred to me how much pixelated Arnie resembles Ben Cousins. The Southern Cross tattoo helps to reinforce the impression for me. Very well done to other competitors so far – I’m going for the crude vote.
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i’m liking that dog rooting the bush pig.
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Hey Jaidyn-Jaxxon, there’s not enough CB antennas or bumper stickers on the red holden ute, I think it needs a bit of work mate… c’mon.
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yee your right. oh well it would be bad form to edit them in. we can submit multiples right TLA?
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yes
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I love the Mucky Duck touch by Peter. Snuff, your foam one looks like an actual ad for B&S.
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But it’s all wrong! There are “people of color” in the picture.
Not having been rustic myself for a coon’s age (pardon the pun), I’m not sure that regional attitudes have improved quite that much.
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I’m with you, it’s difficult to comprehend, yet a quick scan of the faces will confirm that they are indeed ‘rustics’. Pretty sure that’s from the B&S website (either that or it’s the Quairading Community Theatre’s ‘Urotsukidoji of the Outback’). Political correctness gone mad I tells ya.
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Oh. Is that foam ?
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So far I’m voting snuff for the apostrophe’s and the bushpig. Can anyone confirm that B & S stands for Bulls & Sows?
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I find no evidence of use of apostrophe in customary reference to “Inseminators”, nor of use of the article “the”. Curious. And surely you jest in regards to “B&S”, JJ.
Interested to discover that B&S balls once called for formal wear.
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Yeah well I don’t care what inatavistic frippery they may have tarted themselve’s up with, it’s a bestial-rutting-in-the-mud festival as far as I can tell. A bull-sow auction where the only currency is drunkenness. The prelude to a month-long bout of the bumpkin bumps down under. Then once the itching’s subsided, the lingering impossibility of a late-term abortion, another reason to stay on the farm and ‘battle the odds’, another lifetime spilt in an blood-slicked squalling mass onto the dry dirt to pull burnouts and watch Stateline and ‘Susie’ on GWN and whinge and moan and complain about unfair subsidies and multinational market monopolies that no amount of White Australia policy will ever fix and in the squinting of an eye lil’ Fitzbogue junior is off to his own B & S to start the whole bloody bewdiful circle of life rolling again. All proceeds to charity.
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So you know Susie then?
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Susie or Steve or whatever her real name is
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There’s none so classy, as this fair lassie.
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Not like I know Susie.
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You make it sound good JJ.
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Jesus, JJ – I wasn’t defending B&S before, but I’m glad to have provoked such an entertaining rant :D
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Just laying some bogie bait NF
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+1 on the superb rant Jaidyn-Jaxxon
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i think snuff missed a few opportunities for using some more apostrophes.
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Those two are hideous enough, surely ? Don’t make me submit another.
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where there’s’ an s’ at the end there should be an apostrophe seems to be the new rule.
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Ye’s I see. Seem’s perfectly reasonable to me.
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Bullshitters and Shriekers maybe?
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No Shreikers will be in attendance, I can assure you.
Screamers perhaps:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/7861885/Noisy-neighbour-spared-jail-despite-screaming-sex-sessions.html
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Same thing; just different.
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I’m just trying to protect my brand.
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Is that the best youse can do?
Youse will be crushed like bugs.
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So far a toss up between JJ’s “Cyst” and Snuff’s “Bushpigs” for me.
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I’m quite liking te Troy. Particularly with Mucky Duck thrown in.
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Mucky Duck aren’t bogan enough for B&S. As I remember (lol), they do quite a few reels, etc. Troy Cassar-Daley, on the other hand… (fuck, how do I know this?)
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Yet I do like the local reference.
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has anyone posted this from the Gruen Transfer yet?
the Bogan Proof Fence is inspired
and ‘in rocks we trust’
http://www.abc.net.au/tv/gruentransfer/thepitch.htm
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Very noice, skink. Thanks.
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Bento, I thought you said you had no design skills? Bored is very good.
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Not sure when dying alone ever became fun
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*funny*
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like you’re entry’s bento
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Cheer’s JJ.
I wa’s concerned a gag about rural ‘suicide wa’s in poor ta’ste, even for me. But remember, it wa’s ‘Shazza who wa’s “pro”, not me.
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Too clever, and too design-y Bent’o. Haha. I like it.
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“Nervous by Belyea” is in comic sans – thats gotta be worth a vote
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Did Belyea forget to remind me of their nom de plume I wonder?
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Wascally has Comic Sans AND Gill Sans Ultra Fuck Off. Aces high.
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Belyea would never reveal his Surname in a public forum… uh oh
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Who cares when his/her/its entry lags so far behind that of Snuff and JJ?
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Perhaps that is for the voting public to decide…
Personally I like that entry from Belyea.
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Would be ok for an NZ B&S. “Bushpigs”still the winner for me.
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It’s okay, the winner’s up now. We can close the competition. I’ll be drinking Blue Stratos and coke tonight.
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lovely
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While I kick back with an Horizon and a Bundy to celebrate my winning entry.
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I do love me some jigglin’ titties Ljuke
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what? where’s mine?
I almost didn’t bother doing anything since Snuff’s combination of pig, dog and abandoned vehicles is sublime.
now I wish I hadn’t (sniff)
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Whoops forgot to do it.
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Up now and another from Snuff.
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Design execution is uncharacteristically poor, but “Boots” is otherwise brilliant.
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Shocking JPEG compression that might’ve passed through several off-brand scanners in Uncle Sid’s photography shed before being burned onto a DVD-ROM and colour photocopied at the Katanning GPO? Right on target! Great submission skink, you have a tougher Google image stomach than I.
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*snuff*
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I’ll have you know I spent entire moments achieving that effect, NF#1. Actually, I only posted it so that I could use that roots photo, and I only posted the previous one so I could ask the “Is that foam?” question. Bushpigs FTW !
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Nice John Howard tweet
it’s what everyone is thinking
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I saw your comment on Crikey. Yes, the tweet sums it up well I think.
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Anyone else might have taken the hint.
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perfect commentary tla.
on the subject of posters – some of yous cunts are way too design oriented.
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My point exactly, Vegan. But then again, you’re probably aware of my and JJ’s semi-irrational hatred of design fetishism by now.
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i suppose i should now try and cobble together some tasteless, sexist, racist, moronic and ugly poster.
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You could do a good one instead?
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what? and go against the ethos of the b&s?
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Yes. Sounds like an improvement.
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C’mon vegan.
I eagerly await your entry!
Though I hope you’re not accusing me of being “design oriented.”
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Hahaha, WA. Fucking “designers”.
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So, Ms Anti-Design (if that’s your real name), I don’t see too many caps in ‘Baster’, hmmm?
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umm, the shift key is broken?
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Ha! So how did you get that question mark?
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damn you bento, you tricky bugger.
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Nice work, Paracleet.
We never did clarify whether the rooting was intrinsic, or incidental.
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burning tires?
but of course
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“Bunnys Revenge” by Cowpat is awesome.
TLA: I don’t envey you having to trim down the list to finalists.
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“Bunnys Revenge” by Cowpat is awesome.
TLA: I don’t envey you having to trim down the list to finalists.
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hmm, still waiting for mine to go up.
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Try stomping on it.
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Cool. Hurry up TLA…
It’s not country week…
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Hurry what up? They’ve been up for quite a while.
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Yep.
Roger that.
The ‘subsidies’ are on my face…
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Nice work new competitors, but I’ve been reliably told again and again over the past few days that mine is amongst the funniest and most real, if not the funniest and most real. How did I know that Turnips’ eventual entry would somehow exploit obscure car lore?
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NF#1, you know me too well: that is the niche I cover and I know my cars well.
Any self-respecting young cocky would have a
diesel Land Cruiserute of Australian manufacture and the grandpa’s axe of ’em all is the Holden WB Kingswood. You can blow your drought relief money on a new SS-V or XR8, but neither would command the same awe and reverence as a WB kitted out with multiple spotties, bull- and roll-bars, illuminated running boards, CAT/John Deere mudflaps, RM Williams & Bundy window transfers and most importantly, stickers from B&S balls past plastering the tailgate.Come so equipped, you’ll be the beau of the ball and get
a dose of the clapthe leg over.LikeLike
You omitted the “I fucked my cousin” sticker.
ISOFC?
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Oh, and I did forget the CB antennae too. Ta.
Now my yee-ha-mobile is complete.
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Ahem. DILLIGAF, anyone?
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Aww shit, what sticker am I gunna remove to make room for that?
Decisions, decisions…
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I have your number plates.
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The “Holden Tight” one?
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Or even this. Or this. I could go on forever…
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Dammit…
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Good Taste – a thing of fond nostalgia.
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Your evident excitement at typing phrases such as “Holden WB” and “multiples spotties”, etc., is worryingly palpable, Turnips.
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Just channelling the mood, as I do when waxing lyrical on matters automotive. But don’t worry, I’ve been inoculated against hayseed fever.
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there is a magnificent photo on page 11 of today’s West from the re-opening of the Iron Clad pub in Marble Bar
men in big hats kissing lovely ladies, watched by dogs
good material, if anyone needs it.
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Men kissing dogs in big lovely hats, watched by ladies, might go better, skink. Sounds promising, anyway. There’s been some fantastic submissions of late. Bushpigs is, in part, an homage to the magnificent Gateway to Dog Swamp, so it’s great to see you and Artheretic building on the theme.
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I voted for ‘Gateway to Dog Swamp’, and I will be voting for ‘Bushpigs’ when I get the chance. It’s no contest really.
that is if it passes LA’s scrutiny and makes it to the shortlist.
don’t you just hate it when some third party decides, behind closed doors, who you get the chance to vote for?
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Let’s be very clear about this. Bushpigs will be going into this election as the underdog. It’s as simple as that.
Nope, skink, but I do enjoy the hypocritical squealing of those whom only do when it applies to their opposition.
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I think that Bento and myself should get a seperate award for the most subtle commentary
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Sorry.
I think Belyea has that wrapped up.
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you’ve had the wool pulled over your eyes, anyone can make a sheep joke!
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I’m liking them all, but big props to Cowpat’s bunny’s revenge
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its great – but Im waiting on your’s!
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I have no design skills JJ, but if I did I would have gone with a religious theme.
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Outrage slips in with the last entry.
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Respect my authority.
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Well I think I’ve got this pretty much in the bag.
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Ok – if DFOC wins, as predicted here, for a last minute “literary” entry, with such a simple (albeit clever) adaptation of a text such as Gray’s Elegy, I’ll be most pissed off.
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can’t we just award it to Snuff now?
he couldn’t be a more obvious, rational choice even if he had red hair
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a vote for anyone but me is a vote for tony abbott.
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I’m Bob Brown.
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Shouldn’t you two be voting?
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Look. Ummm. Let’s be very clear about this. Bushpigs is the underdog in this election. A vote for anything else is a vote for a great big new fat big great fat new … ummm … something.
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Bento has my vote.
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There you go Bento. You have the critical vote of the Chairman…
I like ‘Bunnys revenge.’
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Fair enough, TLA. And might get mine, but I do like Doggy Style too.
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how much did that cost?
can’t i pork barrel you?
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I can almost taste those Chinese durries.
Suck it, Cohen.
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You mean you can taste the Blue Stratos pack and the t shirst? No China trip so far, so no ciggies.
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I vaguely recall the pseudo-American accent employed in the TV ads resulted in an uplifting chorus of ‘Blue Straartarse!’.
And I need a new TWOP tee more than Chinese tabs, it’s true. I don’t know why I thought I had the chest to pull off the v-neck.
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Damn – winning that Blue Stratos was my only chance of not stinking tomorrow.
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is this a “joke’??
you blokes have too much time on you’re hands. i dont see the point and noone of you have been to a B&S.
Some of the words in the poem aren’t spelled right – wanker.
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A bit of a horticulturalist to make this kind of ‘plant’?
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Ahh country boy. So glad you asked.
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I don’t see any spelling mistakes in the poem, although I did spot a couple in country boy’s post
difficult to dispute his character assessment though
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it’s probably the tow’r and inseminat’r he’s having problems with.
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I’ve been to a B&S
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There’s something fishy about our country boy. Still, fake or not, he’s got Cohen’s number.
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V.W utes in W.A are an icon, Considering there made in Germany somewhere.
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Thank you, TL101, I had never seen this post before.
Out of interest – who _did_ end up winning?
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I think smartarsery was the winner.
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‘Bush Pig’ was the winner if I remember correctly.
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You betcha.
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Winning What, Get lost Bento your stupidness and jokes have gone to far, You bloody Telemarketer I hope i geust your job. Buying a annoying caller for Telecom.
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Calling Troll – I know that Perth is forever 1986, but “TELECOM”?!
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