This one is from Melbourne, but I thought you might like to see how sophisticated Melbourne piss shops are combating Indian student bashing. In Perth we are more likely to have Fuck off we’re full Indian friends. Thanks Meccano.
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The Worst of Perth 
I love this – no matter how simple it is! Go Melbourne.
http://bit.ly/cQY7jk
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Cash register should ‘Please come again’ after the Thankyou.
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Tactical mistake putting the sticker at the till. Surely bogans in search of foreigners to biff are a key target demographic for a piss shop.
They need two stickers. This one can go in the expensive plonk section. And then perhaps ‘FOWF of Indians’ over with the bourbon and domestic beers. Or maybe just ‘Tongue my Doogs’.
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pan to the right and you’ll see the second sticker that reads “…but we lock up Afghans”
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or maybe its “Indians are our friends…unless you’re a Tamil, then it’s straight to Curtin for ya”
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Indians can tongue my doogs would have been inspired.
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“Indians can hose my scrotum.”
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Let me just say, people, that Indians may well be our friends, and that Russell Woolf is a complete worsting dick:
http://blogs.abc.net.au/wa/2010/04/on-the-buses.html?site=perth&program=720_drive
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you leave our Russ alone, even if he does look like a stout Angus Young
I heard his broadcast from the bus, and it perfectly encapsulated the homely parochialism and slight ambitions of this great city.
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A stout Angus Young? Perhaps.
I prefer to think of him as a giant hairy lactating walrus.
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Selling Prosh, was he?
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yep. a thousand leering UWA students picketing city bus stops screaming PROSH CHARITY CHARITY PROSH. Worst as worst can be. If I wanted to read and reread the word ‘cunt’, I’d log in here
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A friend of mine was complaining that they don’t do enough pedo jokes any more. I do like they way they’ve been calling Tony Abbott “T-Bott”, though.
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just read the whole thing and MAN am I glad I didn’t pay for it.
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I now call the T-Bott “Bubbles” after one thought bubble too many. Fits in with the monkey theme as well.
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I think he outdid himself today with his comment that young people under 30 should be refused the dole and made to go and work on minesites.
next he’ll be sending orphan children to clear minefields
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That was the bubble I was referring to. Even Bunbury Joist thought it may be a bridge too far. The end of Bubbles political career will be lined with derision.
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Oh c’mon, the Don Bradman Commemorative Gulag. Or is that a bit too Howard. How about the Our Blessed Lady of Penance Memorial Salt Mine & Carpet Factory?
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I saw it being described as his ‘Sarah Palin moment’
I think that might stick
his comment that unskilled labour is required on WA mines suggests he thinks that mining is still done with picks and shovels.
hi – ho, hi-ho
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yeah, you thought ya dwarfism was an EXCUSE ta RIDE THE TAXPAYAH! WELL THINK AGAIN! HI HO CUNT!
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Not sure why we need to refer to the US. There are plenty of nutjobs here to compare, I’m looking at you Barnanby Joyce.
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Indeed, shaz. Actually, why make comparisons at all ? It sounds just like a Tony Abbott moment to me.
I’m reminded of the scare campaign the Liberals attempted that a vote for Hawke was a vote for Keating, to which the then Treasurer replied that a vote for Andrew Peacock was a vote for Andrew Peacock.
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“Not sure why we need to refer to the US?”
indeed, because the Ironing Man gets all his ideas from the Thatcherites:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/blog/2010/apr/20/1
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Ah, you got to love those short sighted, populist gems.
Aust. having a disenfranchised indigenous population will make for very messy arguments around this idea.
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Finally, some support on the Russel Wolf is Worst front
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There will be an army of us Para:
http://blogs.abc.net.au/wa/2009/08/drop-your-gear-for-drop-your-jocks-2009.html
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Only Indians ? What happened to everyone else ? And all of them ? I know I’ve met some right little …
Next thing we’ll be getting tolerant. Obviously it’s not cricket season.
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I wonder if the producers of this worst kind of worst actually thought about the implications of the sticker.
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Some how I doubt it was made in Pakistan. I suspect GetUp! was involved- it’s about their level
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I was confused about the flags, until I saw the captions.
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Oh my. Perhaps Perth could do with this sort of Dutch-style vibrancy?
“BarRectum, Arsch Bar, Asshole Bar, Bar Anus. While the translations sound different, the form is universally recognizable. The bar takes its shape from the human digestive system: starting with the tongue, continuing to the stomach, moving through the small and the large intestines and exiting through the anus. While BarRectum is anatomically correct, the last part of the large intestine has been inflated to a humongous size to hold as many drinking customers at the bar as possible. The anus itself is part of a large door that doubles as an emergency exit.”
http://www.boingboing.net/2010/04/20/rectum-themed-bar.html
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I guess that’d make this from Dutch director Tom Six a pub crawl, SW.
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What if all the A-Listers got together and pursued a class action against TWOP ? Mohammed !
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Isn’t TLA an A lister by now?
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TLA isn’t a proper A-lister until he appears in Di Bauwen’s column photographed with Basil.
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Didn’t Basil get demoted to C list?
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nup, still in by a nose
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Regardless of social status, I know which kind of Basil I prefer.
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I was born an oregano man
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Paul Naschy and Basil Zempilis at my joint this weekend if you’re interested, MJTM. Some tunes too, no doubt.
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Boom! Boom!
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Each to their own.
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Holy Shit.
Wholly Shit.
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Would you prefer life-size, WAtching, or one you can park on the Onkyo ?
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This was meant to be my reply to “The Human Centipede.”
Not sure why it ended up here.
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‘from an Australian who cares’. OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaGetUpoooooooooooooooooossssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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ooshta ooshta ooshta
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What? No anal warts?
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perhaps a tasteful grape vine around the exit?
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Is it?
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It appears Freedom is a whole buck cheaper than Change
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But is it?
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I like how the sticker pedantically adds the country names to the flags, and how the Aussie flag appears a third to half bigger than its Indian counterpart.
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Talking of pedantry, I think the flags are shown at the same height, with differing widths due to ratio: the Australian flag is 1:2, whereas the Indian flag is 2:3. If it were by population, the thing that The Fauves describe to “look[s] like New Zealand’s dirty snot rag” (from “Celebrate The Failure”, released very serendipitously in September 2000), would only be a minuscule 2% of the size of the Indian one. That’d be scale and proportion for ya.
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Having just returned from a trip to the subcontinent I can say that not one Indian person we met actually gave a fuck about students in Australia – dead or alive, students being roughly a rupee a dozen over there. However if they got wind of the way we treat our cows…
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are our are our are our are our are our are our are our they’re there they’re there they’re there they’re there their they’re there oooooosssshhhhtaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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I am confused. Is the sign 1. facing the customer, informing him that the cashier is from the sub-continent and gently suggesting appropriate behaviour, or 2. facing the cashier, reminding him/her to be extra-nice to people from the sub-c ?
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It’s a shameless attempt to curry favour with Indian customers.
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Indians are a dahl-ing race.
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That sticker’s a godsend to retailers, you just pappadum your register and…
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Popular in both piss shops and Delhis.
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yeah apparently it’s all the raj
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Naan of you could blame them.
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It’s a real Goa.
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You lot need to get some booze India.
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These puns are terrible. They’re shit; weak, forced, contrived, embarrassing. I’m ashamed to have taken part and you should be too. Pun jabs aside,
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If only we would be nicer to the Indian students – then they would be puttee in our hands.
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oh good, for a moment I was worried I’d sepoy-led the fun
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Threads like this tend to end not with a bhang but a whimper.
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Nonsense, there will always be more puns. Sikh and ye shall find
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These puns are getting a little esoteric: time to get bhakti basics, methinks. Yet there’s no need to raga on everyone else’s puns, M-J.
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Though I am getting tired of the way that Indian students in-Veda our country.
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ghee whiz, you guys are funny
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I wouldn’t say I was partikkaly annoyed – there’s a lot of false assamptions going around. Think we could all use a healthy dosa perspective.
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I reference TS Eliot and an Indian narcotic in a single pun Mez, and you’re not impressed. Instead of criticizing from the sidelines, why don’t you just Jain in?
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I admire your tandoor but you’ve no right to chai-de him as the pun was there (subtle, too- Mysore-t of pun!). this thread has degenerated into a total raita-ff
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Holy cow!
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resorting to english? Don’t tell me that’s all she roti
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Karma down M-J.
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Regarding all the Vipul who were students copping aloos, there was much weeping and Ganeshing of teeth.
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I have a warning to all the racist fuck knuckles who bash Indians out there:
Instant Korma’s gonna get you.
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demand more booze
you’ve got to fight
for your right chopati
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They keep on runnin India on their way to the kitchen at the Gettit India or the Gasit India.
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This thread has become a sham: poo on all your poor puns.
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You lot can tikka the piss all you want.
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Sooner or later we’ll Paki it in.
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These puns are bad korma.
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…and you missed a golden opportunity for a-
Sunni or later – there NF1
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In from the cold I see, Mez, to caste your lot with the rest of us.
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I remain untouchable
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All this started while I was riding home. I blame myself for not driving.
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Sorry mate, not tonight. Don’t like your urdu.
All right. I’ll get Mahatma Coat.
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You’re not helping…
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That’s just stupa-id.
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Feel the power of the fist.
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You sir are an Asansol.
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Or something Simla. God no, I mustn’t start.
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A somewhat Bengalling pun, TLA.
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I think it would be a good idea.
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Really Hyderabad.
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Ah Gujarat of here already
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Nice1
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facing the cust. You can see the little cards blu-tacked to the top of the register – they face the cashier and probably have little harmony quotes and rhymes on them, I’m thinking maybe some Ralph Waldo Emerson or the Golden Rule.
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You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
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So, I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they’re wise and they’re witty, and they’re ready to please
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इन puns मजाक नहीं कर रहे हैं
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కృష్ణ ఆంధ్ర స్టార్ కృష్ణ సూపర్ ?
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They’re taking our jobs
Those diminutive sing-song
Subcontinentals
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Amazing haiku
The true mastery lies in
Echoing my mum
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Indians are our friends Pil grim.
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ding dong!
[gate opens]
Buff Jesus: oh hi, I thought I would just pop over here to pergatory and, um…..
Mahatma Ghandi: is this pergatory? I thought it was nirvana
BJ: um… no… [looks inside] no, this is pergatory
MG: where did I get that so wrong?
BJ: 1947, but anyway, I’m here to extend the hand of friendship… with this sticker
MG: where do I stick it?
BJ: …ummm…
[pause]
MG: how’s you father?
BJ: …*…don’t you fucking start!
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[Jesus walks away from pergatory still stinging from the rebuke of Mahatma toward his entreaties of friendship and his fucking pantheist POV – how can I reason with Hinduism when it worships the wrong God, follows the wrong religious authority, seeks the wrong destiny, and teaches the wrong ways to achieve that destiny. True salvation can be found only in Jesus Christ. It can be understood only through the gospel of Jesus. And it can be obtained only by faith and obedience to Jesus’ teaching.Hindus offer no objective evidence that their teachings were revealed by God or that their Scriptures are truly divine. They may try to show they are reasonable, but mainly they urge you to try it to see if you find it satisfying. If you get hooked emotionally on it, like other experiential religions, you will not likely listen to reason. But there is no valid evidence why anyone should believe it.Only the Bible offers consistent reasonable evidence to convince the unbeliever that it is truly revealed by God. That evidence is found in fulfilled prophecy, eyewitness testimony of miracles, the resurrection of Christ, etc. Only in Christ can we have assurance for our faith.]
Buff Jesus: (under his breath) ‘fkng Asansol!
source: http://www.gospelway.com/religiousgroups/hinduism.php
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Jack Chick: there are over “300 million [gods in India] and all of them are Satanic”. Asansol.
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Buff Jesus: yeah I know, Dad told me. I really don’t think this sticker campaign is gonna work out…
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You do know that Hitler was Kalki right, the final destructive incarnation of Vishnu who was to end the Kali Yuga and usher in purified new world? Just ask Savitri Devi. All this proves that Hinduism is Satanic.
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Buff Jesus: yeah I know, Dad told me.
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“They took rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr jobbbbbs”
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Kerala just get along with everybody?
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