Firstly a not worst. After 90 years of blocking NZ apples, the WTO has finally forced Australia to accept New Zealand apple imports. This means that we may finally be able to get some decent apples here. NZ has fantastic apples. WA apples must be a world class worst.
Anyway. Usually a free gift from the bottleshop is a welcome and deserved prize, but this one screams worst. The photos don’t really show how bad this thing is. It’s a thumb drive from Matilda Bay which is sort of filled with a yellow liquid. This is not even a liquid you can drink. It’s just a way of making the thing several sizes too big to use. Totally useless. Maybe it should be called an arm drive. The green bit inside is the normal size of a drive. I didn’t even buy any Matilda Bay (which I hate anyway) and the bottle bloke still couldn’t give it away fast enough.
Looks more like Galliano. 
The Worst of Perth 
it’s possibly still better than this:
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I quite like that mp.
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quirky shaz isn’t it?
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You need to know, Pants, that Animal Review rates monkeys as a C. Hmmmm.
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Absolutely ludicrous review Shreiking – i mean who would write all the blogs if monkeys weren’t
“A” list genius?
Thanks for pointing it out though – another invisible war for me to fight….
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Never mind. They gave pandas an F.
No reviews of wombats as yet.
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Anything on quokkas?
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Quokkas refuse to eat crap wa apples. Insist on Chinese only.
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No, but they give the platypus a D-.
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Lemmings must have rated poorly.
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Cohen’s ugly mug and whiney voice was on display last night on WTV as part of the 2009 WA Media Awards. – “What Happens ant the Media Awards, Stays at the Media Awards” – bollocks the previous 25 mintues was Journos behaving badly with the odd interview – and those Journo students – Giggling Schoolgirls the future of Gerbilism ?
Sheesh
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Whoa, if you want Outrage action. Tell me this is not him as the cartoon character in this Weird Al clip.
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And the replay is on West TV now :-)
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Sadly, there’s no end of weird USBs out there, mp, (although I quite like the Osaka ducks). This one probably still takes the cake. This is how it’s supposed to be done.
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There are literally thousands of these things in liquor stores in Perth. Everything TLA says is true PLUS the fact that the lids don’t fit properly.
I was given one a few months ago. I intended to Worst it, but I found it so irritating I couldn’t bring myself to take a photo of it.
PS: Do not drink the liquid.
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I believe the correct term for this device is a ‘piss stick’
don’t knock Donnybrook apples, or I’ll send the girls round:
how do you like them apples?
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I’m pro the chicks, but from my experience the apples they are holding will be shithouse.
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I like a Pink Lady myself.
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Fuji would be my favourite
or ‘fugee, as boat people call them
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They are nice apples, unfurtunately we only get to buy the crappiest examples here.
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I had the pleasure of being in Donnybrook on Sunday, enjoying the marvellous facilities available at the Apple Fun Park. We then had some lunch at the Big Apple Bakery, and on the way out bought a couple of buckets of Granny Smiths at the Fruit Barn.
when I got home I made a tarte tatin that was, if I may be so bold, bloody fantastic
so fuck you and fuck your unaustralian apple apartheid
http://www.acoffeeinthepark.com/apple-fun-park-donnybrook
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Well that’s the point. You can get a good apple near to the tree, but what about the poor cunts (nearly everyone else) who can’t drive all the way to bumpkinville to try and get a good apple before they export all the good ones over East? Yes, they export the good ones to eastern states knowing they can flog the dregs here without competition.
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fruit rage?
you’ll be indignant about mushrooms next
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In a blue funk, no less, skink. Which everyone in the Kimberley was when I lived there, thanks to the price of bananas. They were grown in Kununnurra, driven to Perth, then back to the Kimberley, and then sold at exorbitant prices, due to freight costs, of course.
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That’s pretty much an ubiquitous cost to all goods, snuff, and very much the down-side of centralised warehousing and distribution.
It has been estimated that over a third of the kilometers traveled by trucks etc. could be saved by improved logistics.
Margins, of course, would be reduced at the retail level as they are generally calculated on a cost plus basis, but are also largely dependent on a complex formula involving trade competition and human stupidity.
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The latter being the operative words, rolly. And ubiquitous indeed, exponentially so in remote areas, such that it was always a running gag that whenever the cost of anything was questioned, a droll “freight” was the obligatory response.
p.s. That wasn’t a very kind suggestion of Adolf’s.
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Mushrooms are cunts.
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Nah!
There are lots of nice mushrooms.
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Adolf Hitler ?
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I wonder how the kiwi apples will be after crossing the Nullabour in a refridge B double?
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I’m guessing still ten times better than the shitty Donnybrook dregs we get now.
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‘Piss stick’ or ‘Drink’n’Drive’.
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Is that apple green font a conscious choice?
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I couldn’t find an html tag for bruised, floury or tasteless to match our WA apples, so green will have to do.
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Two things:
Stick your NZ apples you unAustralian cunt.
Drink the liquid.
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And if China can supply good apples, or even shit apples at a lower price than our own shit apples, I’ll buy them as well.
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Yet do NZ or Chinese apple growers sacrifice a three virgins each spring to ensure a bounteous, even if floury, harvest? You can taste the paganism in Donnybrook apples.
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I’m not sure about finding the 3 Kiwi virgins, maybe just wave a virgin over the ship as it sails.
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What do kiwi girls put behind their ears to attract the blokes?
…their knees.
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Don’t get me fucking started on Garlic.
Out of the two Coles stores and 2 Woolworths in the city of Bunbury, you can not buy Australian garlic, only the chinese shit.
I only want aussie garlic so I can plant some in my back garden… only place I seem to be able to find it at $25 a kilo is at our local farmers market.
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but does Australian grown garlic taste better than Chinese grown?
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Usually, yes.
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how about New Zealand grown?
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Sorry, had not had coffee no. 1
and just took this out of my lunch box:
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Nothing quite as genuinely Australian as subsidising the export of top quality produce then charging the domestic market inflated prices for the left-overs.
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Exactly. You also need to block imports of anything good so the locals can’t buy anything other than the dregs left behind. Also Cherries.
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The Chinese traditionally announce each year’s apple harvest by running a large coal cargo ship aground on the GBR.
LA, any more criticism of WA apples and I’ll sic this guy onto you!
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Crazy Dog Man FTW!
hilarious.
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I notice his wife doesn’t flinch…
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You have to admit he is very convincing.
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More tham convincing. I know nothing of the story, but my gues is that HE is the problem.
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The wife’s repsonse, or lack thereof, is very interesting.
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I thought so.
Scary.
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That’s trauma in inaction I suspect WAtching.
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The poor woman’s clearly catatonic, or thinking, “Bugger, so close. Time for plan B”.
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She’s thinking “At least he’s a demon in the sack.”
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“Like a baby’s arm holding an apple.”
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I reckon closer to
‘One false move and I’m a gonna. Stand still and steady. Wait for the madness to pass. Wait for the madness to pass. Wait for the madness to pass…oh, there it goes. Now safe to smile to the camera and calmly move away.
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An NZ or Donnybrook apple, Bento ? And enjoyed both indoors and out, great behind a sand or dirt fort, 23 inches long, 9 inches high, and made of iron.
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Snuff how does one give this to Mr Shazza without seeming to cause offense?
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Let’s not be coy, shaz. You know full well that the way to get men to agree to anything is to trick us into thinking it was our idea.
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Hasn’t he got a real Big Dick to play with, shazz?
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NO, he’s more a canon man. None of this rapid fire business.
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So: No nikon off when there’s business to be done.
(….or was that some kind of ecclesiastical reference where promotion comes – pardon the pun – in direct proportion to the number of small boys whose lives one has ruined?)
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Nothing really surprises her anymore.
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Crass peripheral
Free from local bottle-o
Marketing schtick
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Fireblight now threatens
Healthy Aussie apple stocks
New World Order triumphs
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The fireblight was just an excuse. The real reason was that NZ apples are much better.
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Next stop – British Beef
Taiwanese GM, perhaps
Yummy Yummy Yum
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I thought British Beef was eradicated in the great foot & mouth plague of 2000.
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Next thing you’ll be saying it’s Aussie apple juice in the Matilda Bay Drink’n’Drive.
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Pointless existence
Manufacture USBs
Try to get them drunk
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FFS. New Zealand already supllies 99% of our Bouncers, and now they are going to flood the market with their obese, fire-blighted apples.
Where will it end…
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I hesitate to confront our TWoP overlord.
But isn’t the WTO edict a draft?
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No. Don’t confront him.
He clearly has shares in an NZ apple packer.
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Next you monkeys will be demanding cheap bananas to replace our excellent Carnarvon banana. Traitorous dogs !
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Optiplex defiled
Stained with stupid memory
How to drown the shame?
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When I saw the headline – Shatilda Bay – I was hoping someone had worsted the tea rooms. Fucking worst. Not even the swan river dolphins can save that joint. And I’m over them too. The cunts.
Won’t all those NZ apples have to go into the fruit bins at the airport? I think WA apples are here to stay.
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Fruit? ptchah! beans and pulses are all you need
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So are any of you lot joining me for a spot of barefoot bowling this Sunday?
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=106072882750503&ref=mf
You can bring your piss sticks, fujis, or Granny Smiths. Looks like being a glorious 28 degrees.
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RTD USB.
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