WAtching collected this fine if baffling (pfaffling?) worst of a slightly belligerent tradie sewing machine in Mt Hawthorne. It has so much sewing machismo that it actually has to be locked behind some prison quality armoured glass. Dude, you’ve got a spool of thread on your head. You don’t frighten no-one.
Worst Talk
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The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
It seems there is a whole other sewing machine world out there that i have been unaware of:
http://www.dincum.com/articles/monkey_res.html
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how could i have missed it?
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Nothing like a good mascot to get sales going, but that sewing machine appears to be haunted…
I should point out that there is no sign of any shop that this tough sewing machine might belong to. He must be some kind of Ronin.
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Well that’s next year’s birthday present sorted. Great find, mp. I think this is macrame, but close enough.
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It’s beautiful Snuffaroo! Beautiful.
Here’s a little post-easter something for you:
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Is that you in the poster MP? If so, I like the way you’re almost licking your lips.
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I wish NF1 – i am certainly “hot” but in my own special way!
http://bit.ly/dp3jIt
http://bit.ly/aSTqPZ
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There goes my desire to elope to Brizzy and take up with a 40-something milf :)
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You were only coming over because you thought i lived in the giant wine cask house didn’t you!
http://bit.ly/c6sIoE
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Yo graciousness is god-like MP.
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I’m fucked. Words coming faster than thoughts.
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Thanks very much, mp. Happy Easter.
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How uncanny Snuffy!
You can’t believe how many times i’ve said to myself – i wish i had a heavy weight cock cross pendant :)
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If you get too close to this guy, it’s curtains for you.
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Well that’s got the pun situation all sewn-up then.
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I doubt it, this thread will have you in stitches
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I cotton-on, richardbl.
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I can’t beweave you guys woold stoop so low.
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But such comments constitute the very fabric of the TWOPiverse.
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stop needling him
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Darn you all to heel
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Come on guys, don’t cha think its time you patched up your differences
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What a load of crepe.
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Getting a little crafty SW?
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Are you trying to smock me? Don’t be so tacky.
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At your ease.
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Yeah NF#1 why don’t you zip it for a change?
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Yeah, just button it.
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I’ll slap you fastener than you can blink, bitches.
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Get flocked. You’re threats are nothing but a yoke.
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I could see that looming
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A-Hem….
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I think these comments are defintely getting worsted. We need to notch it up a little.
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I agree, they seem to be on the
in crease
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It’s exactly what you’d expect with people making so many comments on the fly.
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…and I may bunny punch anyone who disagrees with me.
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Sew passé.
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there is absolutely no way anyone can selvage this thread
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There’ll be consequinces, whichever way you look at it.
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*drowns self in river of shame*
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Are you talking to moire?
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I refuse to indulge the profane ramblings of knit-pickers such as yoself, SW.
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Don’t be so lamé.
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I’ll never be out-worsted by you, cunt. Ply yo drivel elsewhere.
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Yeah sw this is not a drill I’ll have you know
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Stop being such a nainsook.
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I just want to be weft alone. You warped people are ruffling my composure.
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Epic faille.
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lulz
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Will only post funny pron and pics of flayed meat from now on. Profit.
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I’m warning jute:
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/manmauling-wombat-felled-by-axe-20100406-rnqk.html
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you lot are quite unseamly!
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I come here late, only to discover that every conceivable sewing pun has been taken. Is there some kind of pattern emerging here?
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Every pun coceivable? Stop showing your bias.
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A recurring seam NF1?
“The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.” ~Edgar Allan Poe
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Well that certainly seems to strike a cord.
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I’m ashamed that I have knotting to add
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Don’t be ashamed, you dont want to be like those knitwits…
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No need to be so crochety
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Don’t be such an armhole.
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is it another related ‘Worst of..’ to add an ‘e’ to the end of suburns to make them sound more appealing?
What I am getting at is that it is in fact Mt Hawthorn, not Mt Hawthorne.
What’s next? Girrewheene? Kwinanae
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You go girlfriend.
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some suburbs will never work: gosnellse?
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Dogswampe?
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Darché?
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Cockburne?
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Fremantle. Oh.. forget it.
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or Freemantle, teh suburb Southampton
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Successe?
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Actually I think some of these might work better in Old English:
Doggeswampe?
Gosnellese?
http://houseoffame.blogspot.com/2006/08/serpentes-on-shippe-spoylerez.html
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Myareee?
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Coogeee?
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Wembleye?
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Willageee?
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Winthrope?
Say it in Perthe…
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Winthlop, surely?
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Easte Victoriae Parke
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Daglishe
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Winslops.
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Comoe
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Cuntburne
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Rockingshame
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Scabsboroughe
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Winslope?
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@onanist: don’t knock the Rock, mate
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http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/rockingham-makes-the-punch-bogan-top-10/story-e6frg12c-1225757775604
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Dogge Swamppe
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This is a justifiable point.
I don’t wish to “harsh your vibe” Bento but I do believe TWOP could benefit from allowing some reality occasionally.
am liking Gine Gine however.
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Richarbl I have always found the news good for reality. And TWoP good for comic relief.
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Whoa there. I am realer than all. I am the realer.
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Real? Too Real.
You don’t even answer my emails anymore.
I hate to be the one to tell you, but since that REIWA course, you’ve changed.
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What fucking emails haven’t I answered? Was it one where you asked me why I don’t feature your worsts above “That shite other pigs send in that seems to get featured so regularly above mine”? If so, I thought it was a rhetorical question. I’ve had Outrage on the blower yesterday also asking why I don’t feature his worsts over “That shite other pigs send in that seems to get featured so regularly above mine”.
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Yes. Those Ones.
I made you and I can unmake you too.
So show a bit of fucking respect.
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Alright and the comment stream takes a turn for the better.
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damn that reply wasn’t meant to be here. will whinge somewhere more relevant
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Fuckmantle
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Cuntingdalee
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Hoondaluppe
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Mons Lawleye
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Fruity Lexiae
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Munt Lawley
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Le Vines
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Wanksia Grovee
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Doge Rock
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City Beach (with a Japanese accent) he he he
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Muntdaring.
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Gine Gine
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Is it just me, or did this gag stop being funny around midday on April 6?
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you’re not the only one.
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Good. I’ll now go a step further.
Is it just me, or are the comments threads lately:
34% duelling haikus
28% links to pictures of genitals
5% mutual congratulations on links to pictures of genitals
15% additions of ‘e’ to suburb names
10% pun lists
8% amusing and relevant commentary
* all statistics are made up on the spot.
Sorry to take Rolly’s mantle as resident moany old cunt, and maybe it’s just because I’m not in on the daily cut & thrust, but the comments seem to be a little tedious lately.
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Comment quality ebbs and flows. It will revive when someone takes a shot of BenElton or Tim W. I never click those links. Are they really all genitals?
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There are an awful lot of images posted that the State Library must ponder. And that I have found offensive. But I am a prude.
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Offensive I don’t mind. Boring and irrelevant shits me to tears.
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The average quality of responses remains high. the nooks and crannies must be explored. Some days are Gineys, some days are Coal.
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Don’t get all REIWA on me…
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You have 21 days to vacate. You will also have to clean behind the fucking toilet for once in your life.
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I don’t use it…
“I Will Shit In Your Mouth”
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Why are you testing? Is something not working?
I blame myself for not commenting much recently. A Lazy Aussie comment can divert a torrent of dross into the spillway of comedy gold. i’ve been concentrating on translating a scene fro Sex in The City into Chinese for my assignment next week.
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Underline not working.
As immodest as you sound, I think you are right about the comments…
And finallly, I can’t believe they let you choose your own text to translate.
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Yes, well, that probably settles the argument of including any further reality into the essence of TWOP.
A shame really, I was hoping for a shred of substance along with the banter, jibes and humour but it would appear we are a long way from that.
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What reality are you after? Build it and they will come.
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We were talking about reality?
I was unaware.
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La Biere de Beloeil de la Brasserie Dupont.
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Brasserie Dupont? Do you mean “Old Rubber Tits”?
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Wilson Tuckey you mean?
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Nah, just taking your focus away from making a knob of yourself.
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I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.
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This is taking a familiar path. As I say re reality Rich, Build it and they will come. Don’t build it and the cunts won’t turn up.
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Wow! Where the hell did that come from.
I was being a completely innocent party to all of this and somehow you clowns turned it back onto me.
Maybe you lot should have a good look at yourself before blaming anyone else for your vindictiveness.
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Richarbl this is fucking reality. Reality at it’s best. Your not imagining every time you log on. It’s really happening.
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Yes, reality is real, real as the Worsts that get posted everyday, real as the keyboard you use to type your comments and real as the English language you use to convey your thoughts.
Fact is Bento raised a very valid point regarding the quality of comments on TWOP and quite possibly questioning the very relevance of this blog.
It was unfortunate his point got buried beneath the usual histrionics and hypocrisy.
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. For You Rich.
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I voted for “I am curious Yellow” but the cadres were against me.
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I’d have thought April 6 around 7:30pm, but I don’t wish to nit pick.
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a certain something there i think.
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Carlislee.
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yes, it should be Munt Hawthorn. There is no “e” and there is no Mount
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What about “Mr Belligerent Sewing Machine?”
Would make a great Tattoo…
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Rendered in pseudo-Japanese characters, of course. Other leg has a Southern Cross tatt.
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suburbs damnit
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suburns works quite well Thomo
For example: I was in Butler today. Man, that suburns!
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The pfaffling in the intro blurb almost cost me a pair of jeans you bastards!!
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Well if it’s an emergency, then maybe Fafblog can help you:
http://fafblog.blogspot.com/2008/05/in-case-of-emergency.html
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i like fafblog – you are an internet finding thingo genius
SW.
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The original source of faf ,Munc.
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an a timely guide to U.S. foreign policy in the light of wikileaks.
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Indeed Bill. I well remember these gems from posters Giblets and Medium Lobster from the US election, published in the Gruaniad:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2008/oct/15/who-is-barack-obama
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/aug/21/uselections2008.barackobama
Personally I favoured Gallactus, Eater of Worlds for the Vice-Presidency:
Pros: Balances out Obama’s troublingly semi-dovish past with tough, muscular “eat the world” policy.
Cons: Will eat the world.
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I can’t believe I’m getting nothing for Backdoor Baristas tweet.
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It had me in stitches.
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it’s good but it’s no cardio gravedigging
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What’s tweet?
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it’s a twit with an iPhone
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I am guilty of gratuitous links- but never pictures of genitals… except this one.
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Ahh WAtching, you funny son of a gun. Never leave us.
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A picture speaks a thousand cunts… or just one very big one.
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WAtching, you’re too good for this world.
Watch this space – I think you will be pleased to learn I have seen Chateau Bundyman, and pics will shortly be forthcoming.
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Pleased? PLEASED?
I have just finished ten triumphant laps of my loungeroom. I cant wait to play against Osborne Park again.
Chateau Fucking Bundyman.
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Oh My Lord.
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Sadly now another vanished worst.
Inexplicably painted over.
Sniff.
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I thought I banned you Watching?,Oviously not
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You DID band me…
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Now you’re just messin’ with the troll, WAtching?! Wait for the mind (for want of a better word) to expand and EXPLODE!
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