WAtching saw this in Willagee. Is it Michael Jackson again or is it closer to THIS? 
And I forgot to post this worst from Outrage. See 1:32 in.
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The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
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- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
Outrage – Lookin’ Fine!
What is it with people and their animals? http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1888304,00.html
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We really do love our pets in Perth, dont we.
Do you realise your dog is getting a happy ending while you blog away at work?
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Fair enough, though, WAtching. Nice trolley, BTW.
Das Unbehagen in der Kultur indeed, DFOC. It might not be orange, but it’s free.
p.s. Closer to this perhaps, TLA.
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Yes that’s what sprang to my mind as well. Before and after.
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Just noticed that Cancer dogs, according to
http://petastro.com/dogpreview.aspx,
“can charm you into doing what they want with coaxing looks”.
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While the Virgo dog “will feel totally comfortable in this position and accept it without a single whimper of protest”.
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You’ll like these MP:
http://www.globepequot.com/globepequot/index.cfm?fuseaction=customer.product&product_code=1-59921-045-2&category_code=
http://petastro.com/dogpreview.aspx
And yet I fear that the close-up of the girl/dog action might distract from both the mangy cat and the shopping trolley filled with suspiciously rubbishy looking shopping.
As for the Penguin promo – unbelievable. Not sure what the 1.32 in reference indicates, unless the use of the word “cums” at around 1.35. It is as though Penguin is acknowledging how little this phenomenally popular series of books needs advertising by settling on such an extraordinarily inept promo. The Ken Nordine track is utterly superfluous – yes, we get that they’re orange, but what does that have to do with anything else in the song?
Pfortner – I suggest a counter Facebook group along the lines of “I Hate Popular Penguins (and Their Readership)”.
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The 1:32 reference is more about the visual than the audio. The books can’t be all bad – they obviously got the hyperliterate stamp of approval.
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Nice.
Very Nice OC.
How do you get these gigs.
I need to get a new agent
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The whole thing is so inane I can’t understand why anyone would single out the second half. Does it have a larger number of self-evident cunts than the first?
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It’s like playing “Where’s Wally?”
Except more like “Where’s Trotsky?”
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Please don’t make me watch it again.
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Sorry NF if you got this already but that’s AUstralia’s favourite son DFOC (Outrage Cohen) at 1.32.
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I suspected an in-joke of this kind, but please don’t make me watch it again.
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I would never ask you to violate yourself like that – other ways maybe but not that. See 1.32 on this video instead.
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I think I spotted Rolf.
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Uncanny isn’t it. Here’s one of outrage annotating Wintons latest:
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excellent Paracleet!
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Here’s a photo which reveals some more of the contents of the shopping trolley…
I really should’ve taken a shot of the whole thing, but I was a little distracted by the doggie love.
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Why’s there a weeping little girl in the trolley? no marshmallow?
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Jealous of the dog?
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NF1 – thankyou for thinking of me. Perhaps i could introduce “Canine Consciousness and Total Well-Being” as a new arm at my wellness centre –
The doggy horoscopes are fabulous! I can see a whole other business forming – kaching, kaching….
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I’m on it NF. I really do hate them and their readership too. Please note T-Winty gets his on PP (around 1:50 – incidentally, the only Winton I’ll defend as readable). But back to the Popular Penguins for a second. Why are they so affordable? Is it some sort of literature for the masses thing? Or is it a sense of guilt around charging full price for what is public domain/Gutenberg material, by and large? NO! NO I SAY! It’s because a house without books looks empty! It’s because that seven-tiered IKEA masterwerk that brings your lounge/study suite to life in a rhapsody of cedar-tinted pine DEMANDS to be filled! And it can only take so many twig vases and bobble-head Che Guevaras (these exist by the way)! ONLY the soothing, matte orange of THE LITERARY CANON can take away those empty-shelf blues! That’s right! Your ‘Manual of the Warrior of Light’ ain’t gonna cut it! Your ‘Eat Pray Love’ is just chewing up the scenery! GET REAL! GET HIP! GET ORANGE! Read ’em on the street! Read ’em on the bus! Stick your twirly-fringed, pencil-sketched nose right in there! Lap it up you style vulture you! Yeah Yeah Yeah! Northanger Abbey? The Prophet? Treasure Island? WHO GIVES A RAT’S ASS!? At the very least you’ve bought $10 worth of breathing space from Hunter S Fucking Thompson!
Incidentally, this
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As you would imagine Pfort, it would be hard to rub my face any further into the PP merchandising turd mountain.
One of the PP Facebook members exclaims: “Ah! Popular Penguins is love! I bought Persuasion the other day! It’s great to be able to get such quality books for such a price. Love my Austen! Students eveywhere salute you Penguin. Especialy the literature students. Haha”.
Stupid cunt. Austen titles in have been available in the Penguin Classics series at PP comparable prices for decades. And the PP series often leaves out the scholarly apparatus: introduction, footnotes, etc. Just goes to show that it’s all about getting hip, at home or on the hop.
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let’s troll the fuckers
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actually I can’t bring myself to join :( it’s too vile
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And let’s not get started on the so-called Penguin Cloth Classics, with their faux Art-Nouveau covers drenched in Frankie readers’ drool.
What’s the word for this kind of credulous consumerism? Simpering and slavish both come to mind.
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Sorry TLA, I think we’re about to derail here with some verbatim quoting from the fascinating grotesquerie of the Popular Penguins fan page.
Here’s a few good ‘uns-
:cB ‘Its awesome, now my Tim Winton, Isobelle Carmody, Andy Warhol, Raymond Chandler, Dostoyevsky and Sartre can match… such a great collection here.’
:c) ‘I sighed and I moaned – just as it should be.’
:o} ‘Especially loving… Leunig’s poems…and your ecletic selection of little known but powerful titles: Primo Levi’s Periodic Table, Ibsen, The Prophet, MORE Ruth … See MorePark, loads of philosophy. Penguin you have truly made great literature and ideas accessible cheaply and hand-picked forgotten classics, out-of-print or hidden gems to the us who would probably never heard of them let alone ponder and be inspired by the prose, poetry, ideas and values and great works that may have otherwise been forgotten. And by extension making reading fun and popular again.’ Why don’t you marry Penguin if you love it so much.
|C) ‘What a great anniversary gift to us the readers! I love the old penguin books too, they smell wonderful.’
:0P ‘the video is abit much.’
>o} ‘I am so excited to see that people are reading,books!!!YUM’
[:c| ‘…Then I have a ’73 print of ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ to start.’ – oh but you must’ve only just finished that Vonnegut eh boy? Wot a bore
:-( ‘That guy even looks like Ginsberg.’
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Dear god.
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Apparently the PP Facebook members think they’re communicating with an orange and white penguin known only as “Penguin”. Perhaps the start of a new cult; might give Scientology a run for its money.
I know I started it, but please – no more readers’ quotes! I can’t tell if I’m laughing or crying anymore.
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I’m hacking up bile but the public has a right to know…
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XTC
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nice existentialist moment at 1:32 in that one
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More psychoanalytic, surely?
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maybe a flawed existentialist who while firmly placing himself at the centre of the universe still has to ask god ifn he got it right
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lets ask the guildford resident
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Leunig. That’s another fucker I can’t stand.
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I agree. Cunting sanctimonious god-bothering fucktitting prick.
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Yep.
Leunig is just a cartoon version of the whimsy/nostalgia confection dished up by Winton. I would say that he is more than qualified to be worsted.
The only problem I have with it is that I don’t see how the hatred is in any way irrational.
However, I can’t wait to see a Leunoff.
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well said WAtch
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Ok just one more.
:c* ‘je t’aime popular penguins ♥’
Je te lol@
:>) ‘Any hints on the new titles, and are they still gonna be orange?’
8CP ‘ Hey PP, Just an idea – the website is great but as a new collector I could really use an app that could help me keep track of which titles I have and which I don’t have. It would be useful for my facebook friends who want to buy me birthday presents too! In the meantime I’m off to update my spreadsheet with my latest purchases…’ -you can’t make this stuff up
B^D ‘Pride and Prejudice for the win.’
here we go, classic
‘does anyone know where i can find/buy a ‘a clock work orange’ penguin mug? have searched everywhere in melbourne, and cant seem to find any..’
:c> ‘I’d take my pick of the Popular Penguins to peruse on public transport, painlessly passing travel time, whilst pursuing a pleasant and pleasurable pastime!’ pathetic
#;) ‘haaa I got a bag. and a mug. and lots of books.’
and one for you NF
My daughter some years ago wrote a sequel to hanging rock,its the best I ever read and she was only 17 but wrote it in Joans style!It should be printed..and she is a photographer.. http://www.luvnjoynlife.com
go on have a look!
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Four comments:
(1) “[T]he video is abit much” is possibly the only sensible comment on the entire PP Facebook page.
(2) Part of me fantasizes that if such a thing exists, I would find a Clockwork Orange coffee mug and smash it, droog style, into the faces of each and every of the 10,000 or so PP Facebook members.
(3) Is the above dimwit even aware that Lindsay wrote her own “sequel” chapter, published after her death in the late 80s? Anyway, hope the daughter’s sequel had some femslash going on – that Miranda, phwoar.
(4) That is about the worst website address I have ever seen.
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Might need more than one mug, or simply attack the relevant PP fan, or a few and give the Penguin marketing office a tickle.
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I like it how the mug chaser is pedantic enough to scrupulously include the ‘A’ and then puts a fucking space in Clockwork
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Speaking of pedantry, I rue the lack of italicization on WordPress. SW probably thinks it’s a cunt’s font anyway.
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Italicisation works fine, NF#1.
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This is embarrassing, but how do you do it?
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Watching, not knowing should not be embarrassing. There are plenty of IT dumbies on TWoP. Me being one of the biggest.
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Dagnammit ! I’m just gonna link to this webpage, which also shows how to do bold and hyperlinks.
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hey thanks mate!
I have often wondered. Not cared so much as wondered but wondered nonetheless
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You’re most welcome, Mez.
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I feel free!
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“Jennifer Ferguson LBIPP has been passionately shooting people, things and places professionally for eleven years.”
My god. The woman’s Hitler.
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the cat’s what got me. Looks like he’s concealing something with that hind leg
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Perhaps he’s been shoplifting Pforts?
You simply cannot trust animals:
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Those books are shit. Not even the fact that they are some of the best stories ever written can save them from the fact that they are of such fucking horrible quality that you can’t read them through, because they start falling apart at about the halfway mark.
They are a triumph, however, for all the fuckwits and wankers that populate the world of marketing and advertising (that is to say, everyone involved in that field). Well done, you are ruining the world one step at a time.
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Have another beer, Mike.
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ronggly – Should we presume that you were one of the enlightened readers who put up your a hand to take part in this cretinous “you the readers” campaign?
From http://www.facebook.com/PopularPenguins, Feb 25:
“We are really looking forward to meeting our friends in Perth at the new 75 photo shoot tonight…. Click here to find out how you could be part of our campaign to unveil these new titles”.
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Moi ?
The Big Sleep is the only one there that floats my boat:
“From thirty feet away she looked like a lot of class. From ten feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from thirty feet away.”
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A low resolution fox?
Here’s a little something for you:
Great pitch-black clouds loured
Spat vengeance on old Perth town
Phwoar, what a big one
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Icefall stones the crows
Again, Transperth fails to cope
Lawn sprinklers avenged
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Eh. well they’re horrible quality because they cost $10.
Why does it go on for 3 minutes? It’s torture.
And I just realised the shopping trolley is painted on! not a feature of the Geescape….
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Yes, no chance of that video going viral.
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Oh the memories. They just come flooding back:
https://theworstofperth.com/essence/
We’ll always have Paris.
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On second thoughts, that should have read:
“We’ll always have Willagee.”
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Off topic: did the tree man get down last night, or did he get pelted with hail? Or did the hail not get out his way?
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he got hit by lightning but he’s still in the tree. I think he just prefers it up there.
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Hit by lightning, apparently, Kwality.
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fuck me that cunt is never going to leave the tree, he’s now impervious to Tasers and he has started spewing forth he has had a near death experience.
he’s looking more and more like a koala every day…
a born again citizen electorate council hit by lightning koala
cunt
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one can only hope that, like the koala, chlamydia will take hold and drop him
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Think again Pfortner…
You think he is becoming weaker from this ordeal? He is absorbing all the power, Council Lawyers, Police Tasers, Thunder from the heavens…
The Rapture approaches…
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lightning is just God’s tazer
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…and the golf balls?
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one iron?
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I think the Popular Penguins are great.
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That’s the Pantone 205 talking
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CMYK or RGB?
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The colour actually varies between print runs.
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You have to love swatch jokes. Even more obscure than font humour.
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obscure? it’s really the only funny thing i have in my life.
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PS SW – left something for you here: https://theworstofperth.com/2010/03/22/finger-to-lesmurdie/#comment-41232
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Saw that NF. Unfortunately my dopey corporate webfilter precludes me from viewing vids. But thanks anyway.
Cunt.
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I also quite like Pantone coffee mugs. Not that I can afford one.
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PP CM CUNT
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Books are dead. Blogs are where the real intelligentsia hang out getting frothy at the mouth about less intelligent people enjoying books.
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TLA keeps telling me off for scribbling notes in the margins on my monitor.
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Me too. I’m a bit taken aback by the virulence of the attack on a cheap range of books. Surely pfort should keep his powder dry for the winton one.
So they look a bit stylish and some people might buy them as accessories (they do that because it’s a 20th century design classic), and say wanky things about them on facebook. So what.
Yes Jane Austen, Tolstoy, Melville etc you should get the proper Penguin Classics edition with introduction and footnotes and so on, and yes they’re also cheap; but if you want to read things that you used to only find 2nd hand (eg In Cold Blood, Cold Comfort Farm, erm you know not quite classic literature but great reads) in the original crumbling orange penguin edition with an imperial price printed on it (a dusty smelly 2nd hand paperback from 1966: now that’s unpleasant to read) then the reissued oranges are fucking great. Thanks DFOC for promoting them to the masses. Sales will soar!
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You were expecting nuance?
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Virulence, nuance,
Who says contradictory?
Orange penguin cunt
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Liber populum
Exoteric mind eclipse
Abject consumption
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Triumph of the shill
Literary household goods
Stake your claim today
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Nabokov, Updike
Always dreamed their works reduced
To ten bucks a piece
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Yes I’m taking this seriously because it’s something I care about.
First, they’re both dead. Second, being arrogant guys with huge egos and a wish for immortality they both would’ve dreamed of still being bought after their deaths. Third, they’re both available for free in any library, so why should they not be available for ten bucks for someone to keep on their Ikea shelves (which are very good shelves, which is why they’re popular).
Just trying to fathom what on earth is offensive about good books being cheap and accessible. The more people who have good books in their houses and not just 5 plasma screens the better. It doesn’t matter where they got them, why they got them, or how much they paid, or if they keep them on an Ikea shelf (good cheap design for the masses? Ugh how worst). It doesn’t even matter if they read them or not. Their kids might read them or something. If not why do you care?
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good rant
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Millie Tant could have done better and more in idiom
Poor Lisa is a pale simulacrum
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what she said.
plus the penguin mugs in the ikea kitchen.
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See haiku, which are far more succinct than this reply. It absolutely does matter if they read them or not. If read, then whoopee, a range of good cheap books. No problem. If not then we have a range of cheap decorations whose chief appeal is the cachet of literature. It’s an erroneous conflation of style with substance. What I see in the promo vid and also on the PP fan page and in general in the real world is a lot of conspicuous consumption. A bunch of trendies (no offence DFOC, and of course with the obligatory Ma & Pa Woodstock thrown in) posing (geddit posing) with a bunch of titles. It’s about accessorising. Take the flossy-haired douche with ‘Hound of the Baskervilles’ in his jacket pocket. Personally I think he’s got the wrong book, personally I think they should ALL be sporting ‘On the Road’, but you get the idea. It’s flash. It’s *ugh* bling.
Look there is a bit of personal prejudice coming through, to be fair. I despise design fetishists in all their myriad forms. But there is just something about PPs – it’s as if these people REQUIRE a fashionable design in order to read a book. Which is so completely fucking shallow, it’s an insult to the text itself.
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I’m not getting the accessorising angle Pfort. Seems to be a simple message promoting the idea that Penguins are for all. Young, old, trendy or otherwise. That’s probably why they went for such a simplistic style.
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It may be difficult to prove that the books per se are purely about accessorising – clearly, they can still perform their function and some people do read them. Nevertheless, I maintain that for many the PPs are little more than a fetish item – an Amulet of Learning on which to rub one’s fingers in the face of intellectual intimidation/postmodern bewilderment.
For the rest, see: PP bags, hats, mugs, pens, beach towels, watches, Iphone apps, tattoos etc
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Apart from various points concerning fetishisation, etc., which I completely agree with, here’s the rub: a big multinational like Penguin promoting a line of books tapping in not only to fake nostalgia but the whole “books for the people” schtick as well (see back cover blurb, above promo video, pricing, Facebook page, etc). The fact is that “the people” have gone for it like starved dogs at sausages.
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well you know, throw a dog a schtick
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and the problem is….?
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All books are fetishable objects.
They are queer rectangular things, as a character in Daniel Martin says.
And the Arabs describe them as a garden carried in the pocket.
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No wait, I think I’ve been convinced. I’m off to buy a Kindle.
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I guess we just have a difference of point of view, and my personal point of view is that people believing that good books provide cachet is all-round culturally a good thing. The tats, mugs, iphone apps etc are just what happens to everything nowdays so i don’t know why it happening to old penguins is such a problem.
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I also think you’re wrong about the fashionable design to read a book.
For a start it’s not a fashionable design (c 1940 or whenever).
And some of the titles were not available in “unfashionable” (whatever that means: black with silver raised lettering or something?) design, and you can only find them in PP.
“These people” is such a classic talkback radio phrase….
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And the problem is … tawdry product, nauseating marketing, and a slavish market who will buy anything with a penguin on it.
I agree that books have always been fetishised DC, but this is getting ridiculous. As Pfortner pointed out earlier, see here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2009/nov/04/penguin-classics-merchandising-fiction
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By “this” I meant Penguin marketing, and by “the people” I was simply alluding to the faux-populist marketing of PPs.
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I was referring to pfort’s use of “these people”.
I do agree that the empty notebooks that cost more than the actual books are very Stuff White People Like
Oh and the facebook page. As your mothers might say, you’re just upsetting yourselves by reading these things.
But you’d think DFOC had done an ad for One Nation brand cigarettes or something.
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Stuff White People Like
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Or Family First child day care centres.
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or Hillsong massage parlours
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A.A casino.
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Don’t forget the book, the magnificent T shirts, and now the posters, pl !
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Man, check out his blog stats!
We missed him at the Ampersand Conference :-(
But he’ll be at the Erma Bombeck Literary Festival :-)
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Blimey – and I thought *I* was a sneering cultural elitist.
Can someone explain to me what’s wrong with making good books cheap and accessible, for those people not inclined to trawl the second-hand bookstores or pay $30 for a paperback? You lot are like the NME letters page.
I must confess to owning a few orange books, and I’m even so gauche as to have been delighted with the Wuthering Heights coffee mug Mrs Bento bought me for Christmas. Not only that, but we also put our books on (for shame!) an Ikea bookshelf.
TLA – it appears I may have to resign my TWOP Elite status, and sign over the Certificate of Title for my ivory dildo. It was good while it lasted.
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Don’t do it Man.
I don’t think my tiny heart could take another TWoPicide.
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Your heart’s bigger than you take credit for, WAtching.
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thanks bento, that’s one of my favourite songs!
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You’re right, I was trying to think what it reminded me of… it’s the NME letters page. What matters most of all is who else likes what you like and whether they are worthy of liking it or not.
The willagee mural is special, we should not forget that.
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Give me my computer back you fucking evil fiend…aargh…
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*Phew*
It is rather a good mural.
Finding something like that these days is akin to finding a gold nugget on Hannan St
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Remiss of me not to give props, WAtching. A sterling Worst, even by your standards.
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Agreed, Bento, and I thought this, (from here), was a perfect adjunct. Bitumen, traffic lights, and saltbush. Now that’s Perth.
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Thanks Gentlemen…
“Bitumen, traffic lights, and saltbush” and just beyond- Wintons Water.
PS: Is that Van painted Penguin Orange?
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Did I get this right: When the subject is something that offends or amuses you it’s righteous satire, but when it’s something you like it’s elitism?
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Well, you put it a lot more succinctly than I would’ve, but I guess that’s the general gist of it, yes.
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If serious, I’m not sure that’s an admission I’d be comfortable with myself.
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If you want sincerity, Richarbl’s your man.
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The initial comment was more directed at PL in any case.
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No I was referring to the attitude of ‘Buyers of PP’s don’t really understand literature like I do so PP’s are bad’, which reminded me of letters to the NME like ‘These neo Gun Club fans don’t really get Pierce’s visions like I do so Pierce has sold out’ which was conveyed by pfortner’s haiku about Nabokov and Updike turning in their graves because people are (still) buying their (sometimes dated and overrated, let’s face it) books for ten bucks.
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My haiku by the way.
Whether or not I claim to understand literature more than your average PeeP is irrelevant. The point is that the vicious, faux-populist PP marketing coup has in many ways rendered the question of content irrelevant.
Here’s a question for you: Why do PP buyers seem to consistently buy PP titles they already own? (Gotta go out now and update my Updike).
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NF’s haiku – I don’t know if either of us would claim to be Nabokov/Updike fans, but it illustrates the point.
I make no claim to an advanced understanding of literature, if anything I’m underread. AS ARE MOST OF US. Which is why prancing around with a bouquet of classics is more than a bit naff IMHO. More to the point, it seems to me that the ad wilfully encourages the consumer attitude in question. How, you are bound to ask? By presenting books as fashion accessories – and why not – the mugs aren’t manufactured in-house, true, but there’s still a bounty to be had! (Actually the mugs are fostered by pandering to their middle-class egotism, lol.)
So it’s not that ‘readers are dumb so PPs are dumb’, it’s that the books are being commodified incorrectly and the result is a debasement of our entire culture and may I add a travesty in the eyes of God. It’s entirely beyond the furthest reach of human tolerance and a grave grave sin for which we’ll be languishing in well-deserved stupidity for the rest of the duration of our species. Etc. It’s bizarre that people are leaping to the defense of the PPs! What a glorious fray!
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It is indeed glorious.
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Simultaneous posts!
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Until PL butted in again (joke).
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I’ve got a photo of yours (and a newcomer) up for tomorrow.
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Sweet. Did you get the ones of the gentlemen’s club I sent last night?
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Actually…No!
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Just re-sent.
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What is wrong. Still not getting.
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Is it a massive pic?
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Yep. Just broke into 4 separate emails.
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Four emails @ 3MB each just bounced. Is your mailbox full?
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He bars those who are not in the elite bento.
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Jeez – you buy one little orange book, and within hours you’re TWOPper non grata. Who can resist the tale of Heathcliff and Catherine, at 10 bucks a pop??
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I prefer to listen to the song. Don’t have to strain my brain with all those words.
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Personally I prefer this
cost me $2
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Thanks…kind of, Pforts. You really prefer him to her?
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sorry, no I actually meant to reply to bento but threading is of course redundant this far in. KB is fine by me. That said, I must’ve watched Heathcliff about fifty times and often I’ll prefer it to anything… it’s great. the parts where Heathcliff goes to Africa and the Orient are especially florid and surprising.
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Oh, I lost my reply. I think that the Outrage cameo really queered the deal, and left a nasty taste. And by taste I mean smell. It’s as if you saw him sucking the corner of your model of IKEA shelf in the catalogue.
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TLA: About five of my comments just disappeared. What is with that name (Snap.com.)and where did it come from?
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They are back. They were held with the ladyboys.
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I got the Big Sleep mug for Xmas.
I’ve got a heap of these books and the ones that I’ve read so far have lasted quite well. None of them have fallen apart. Also, it was awesome to pick up a cheap copy of Hell’s Angels after some bastard borrowed the copy I paid $20 for and then never gave it back.
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I’ve got herpes
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“I’ve got his pees.” Said the nurse with the bottle.
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‘You taking the piss?’
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Being a little potty.
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Look this is simply not good enough. There have been no posts here for well over 2.5 hours. What is wrong with you useless Worstest cuntlings?
Have you been eaten by bears?
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Not eaten, exactly, SW.
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I can see how that would distract you from your worsting duties.
There might be a cream for those…
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I’m just amazed that there was a Worst post for which that picture was actually appropriate, WAtching, StWoS, or whomever you are.
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are those oven mitts she has on or those exfoliating shower mitts? ouch……..
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BTW great pic snuffy!
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Always a pleasure, mp. Here’s the Regretsy close-up.
WARNING : NSFW (Unless you’re mp)
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Beautiful work, snuff. Which gives me an in for Gratuitous Things That Shitamuse Me About Fairfax Headlines:
1) Pratt’s mistress opens up
2) Dog wasn’t vicious – until yestersday
3) Spooky statues put New Yorkers on edge
As if NYers aren’t perpetually on edge about everything.
http://www.theage.com.au/
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Favourite comment from the bear and mitten regretsy post:
#68 rodgertheshrubber :
“wearing the mitten while a bear looks on” is my new code phrase for masturbating.
Mine too! That’s what i’ll use if i suddenly have to log off here.
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Eye of perfect storm
Shreds online stunts today, so
Time to sweep stories.
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Scribbling gerbil
Like Trotsky looks
About him ruined Subi.
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Plump tunneller, know
Your syllable count is wrong!
Repent! Recant! Cunt!
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Caught all afternoon
In webs of beauracracy
Cunting internet!
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Enjoy the swim – pity the photographer declined my request for it to be posted here favouring it to be on the front page of The Post. :-)
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Haikus are a cuntenning scam.
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Testing
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Very.
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civilization:
disregard its discontents,
kiss its malcontents
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mal brough, mal colston
mal fraser, malcolm turnbull
malcolm mackerras
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Forget it, poor lisa.
The barbarians are at the gate.
I salute you and look forward to poring over a queer rectangular thing with you on the weekend under a freeway and safely out of sight of the Philistines.
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On the Road?
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Will the Ikea bookshelf be supplied, or should we bring our own?
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Oooh, and we can drink lattes from our incorrectly commodified culture debasers (street name: ‘coffee mugs’).
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Fucking Hell.
I go to work and all is well- and return home to a virtual Schism.
I think Rbl might be using Kung Fu Rugby Voodoo.
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Truly …
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I don’t see it that way. There is always
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Indeed there is, WAtching, or StWoS, but you just don’t get many chances to post a discount tent.
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This whole StWoS thing is mystifying not to mention annoying.
Give me my machine back you evil fiend…
Maybe I need…
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Well nobody’s dared TLA to step in and look after them then stomped off for a few days only to return and start it all over again. This is a civilised discussion about culture not a schism
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“them”?
Who would have thought that silly old books could be so divisive?
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Oh right, not a schism.
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That was no attack on you PL.
I like it, it’s spirited, but I choose not to play.
What I would say about it is that sometimes, something that you have a soft spot for will be worsted. I think it is just the nature of the beast. As long as it remains playful it is fine.
I was just happy no-one was too nasty when I posted a family photo.
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That was in no way an attack on you, PL.
I like it, it’s spirited, but, I choose not play. Every now and then, something you like, will be “worsted.” As long as it remains playful.
I was stupid enough to post a family photo…
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Yes pl. Not one ‘get fucked cunt’ .
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Now I understand. Some PeePs here are talking about culture/superstructure. Others are being base.
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And when is my fucking gravatar going to update? It’s been hours since I changed it. Once it does so, I can settle in with some of my old Natalia tapes.
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No schism – this is how we hyperliterate mature adults entertain ourselves.
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I get back from REIWA course and find things just as they should be.
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Divided we fall.
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Watching, I do not understand the exact meaning of your last couple of posts but it seems you have in issue with a comment I made about a family photo or some voodoo or something?
I am not above an apology if that is what you are seeking and yes, I am being sincere.
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Well I certainly took umbrage to your comments about WAtchings mum, but I ddidn’t think he was going to bring it up again…
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How is it Rich that you can find something in any of the above to take umbrage at. I think your strong narcissistic seam is marbled with paranoia.
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So I’m not the only one who had no effin idea whats going on. WAtching perhaps can explain?
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……or not?
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If you mean ‘or not’, as in, why bother, then agreed. It will only give Rich another chance to remind us TWoP is not all about him, while banging on all about him.
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not would be good.
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“….or not?”; as in:…..” perhaps WAtching has effing idea either.”
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Incidentally I have no effing idea either.
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Sorry folks, I can’t help you either…
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GOD: Jesus Christ jesus, how could you be so stupid?
BJ: He promised dad. I even asked to make sure he wouldn’t put the picture on TWoP.
GOD” Well now you look like a complete tit. Youv’e bought the whole brand into disrepute.
BJ: Sorry dad.
GOD: I know you try to see the good in everyone Jesus, but some people are just cunts.
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Bugger, that should be down there further.
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I could explain, shaz, but you’re right … best not for WAtching, or anyone else, to even bother.
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OK, then lets talk about me.
I have just collected a buff jesus pamphlet from the mailbox. And note the JoHos will be holding a ‘special event’ on 30th in White Gum Valley. This happens to be Mez turf.
Charge up the Nikon Mezmeister. 6 pm sharp.
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i like your style
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Hope St Shazza?
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Precisely my first thought G’day. No, it’s 90-92 Edmund St.
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ah, that will be their grey temple just around the corner – I’ll do me best Shaz
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[SCENE] Outside the Grey Temple. Front door.
knock, knock
Buff Jesus: Hello, can I help you?
Mez: Hi, I was just wondering if you had a moment
BJ: oh… well we are in the middle of a kind of meeting thing…
Mez: I won’t take up much of your time, I just wanted to make you aware of some really exciting literature.
BJ: umm… is this some religious thing…?
M: Well, have you considered your religious calling lately?
BJ: … oh… well… you know, I have my own ummm… you know, beliefs… and stuff…
M: Thats great! We do too and at TWOP we are happy to take your ideas on board! If you would just give this a little read (passes URL through crack in the flyscreen) we would love to know what you think.
BJ: oh… ok… umm, thanks… maybe i’ll look it up tonight.
M: Have a couple of beers first
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BJ: ..umm well Mez, I did log on to see this TWoP site you suggested. After a few altar wines. And, well..it’s rather naughty in parts isn’t it?
Mez: Yes, bj I suppose that’s true. You do understand it’s all in good humour?
BJ: Yes I got that. Though dad’s pretty cross about it all. He thought the ‘Jesus died for youse cunts’ comment was taking things a bit far. Anyway I hate to be a wowser, but I don’t think TWoP is for me and mine.
Mez: Fair enough BJ. It’s not to everyones taste. Thanks for taking the time to peruse. And while Iv’e got you here can I put in a quick request?
BJ: I’m jesus, the son of god Mez, not a fucking wish granting fairy.
Mez: Right you are. Take care.
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Now drop and give me 20!
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But Jeshurun grew fat, and kicked; you grew fat, stout, and sleek; then he forsook God who made him and scoffed at the Rock of his salvation.
(Deut 32:15)
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knock, knock
Buff Jesus: oh, you again
Mez: yeah, was just wondering if I could take a photo?
BJ: um…. ok….. you’re not going put it on a blog are you?
M: No… trust me
click
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God: I am omniscient you know, you smug cunts.
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Can’t help but feel that the JWs are putting the cart before the ox here, “for while physical training is of some value, godliness is valuable in every way” (1 Tim 4:8)
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Lovely work, youse. All I can add is this old favourite.
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Seriously – have you blocked my emails? Several attempts at sending pics of GIANT NORKS have bounced. Get your house in order man.
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Bento, if you’re on Facebook, try sending them to his account there.
Might be Hotmail blocking your ISP or other email addy such as gmail.
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Typical of the cunts.
If it’s not MSN, it’s irrelevant.
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i’ll have a green tea thanks bento.
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Don’t sound so cowed comrade.
Use that hyper- literacy and roar.
Malcontents indeed
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The mugs, pencils, notebooks, etc have nothing to do with Penguin Oz’s Popular Penguins initiative … feel free to bag the books, the campaigns, the video, their popularity but keep the merchandise out of it …
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Although I think your point has more or less been made before, do explain sir.
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coffee drunk out of a penguin classic mug tastes like shit
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*sigh*
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It all seems perfectly natural to me – apart from the fact that the dog’s lipstick has a bandage around it.
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this whole post has to be the strangest i’ve ever seen on here yet. very very bizarre.
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We’ve all been badly traumatised by cuntiitting storm earlier this week.
And kerning.
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well, that makes sense SW!
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poor kerning – lousy fonts – bad spelling – all crimes against humanity on my planet – so i completely understand what you must all be going through.
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One of those weeks:
http://godxiliary.com/alienvspooh/Medium/
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wow – how incredibly strange – i loved it.
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My REIWA sojourn prevented me from noticing that this had 200 plus comments.
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Shouldn’t that be 200 odd comments- literally.
And to think it all began with some innocent doggie love.
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http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=155036&id=32107874519#!/photo.php?pid=3465833&id=32107874519
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I notice he’s not sucking a pen whilst reading Freud.
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OH DEAR… to MSpaint, or not to MSpaint…
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The First image looks like something from France and What have i missed because iv’e been ofline for a while.
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France, Willagee. Same same.
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i know its French but what is the artists name? i want to find out so i can tell them that the paintings suck!
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Who paints such rubbish? and yeah it looks like a femal Michael Jackson maybes its Michelle Jackson.
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Talking about Bark anyone know why is there so many Jack Russels and girly little yappy dogs invading Dianella?.
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Penguin Modern Classics are the bomb:
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Thanks so much, DFOC. Geoff Dyer may have just identified the beginnings of my love affair with ekphrasis.
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No worries Snuff. Disappointing Geoff doesn’t mention Germano Facetti.
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