Baravan afficionado Rolly maintains that this picture shows the essence of the City of Stirling.
While Paracleet claims this sign is the essence of the City of Perth. 
And WAtching asserts that this is the essence of the Town of Vincent. 
Purity of Essence must preserve our vital bodily fluids in our vibrancy ravaged boroughs.
Worst Talk
paulie48406 on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pulling Off Trucks AHC McDonald on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… AHC McDonald on Private Dancer Anonymous on Private Dancer Anonymous on Private Dancer Anonymous on Private Dancer Anonymous on Is Australian Silo Art Ra… Anonymous on Pulling Off Trucks Anonymous on Rap Mobile Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
Could the town of Vincent not have put a coat of paint on that sign while erecting the advertising?
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I’m voting for Rolly on this one.
WAtchings submission, though worthy, had too much focus to be considered a worst.
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Thank god it’s a Nuclear Free Zone. So what’s with the general feel of post-apocalypticism?
Could it be zombies?
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“So what’s with the general feel of post-apocalypticism?”
We are talking Perth here…
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You make an entirely fair point, WAtching.
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Oh. And the essence of the City of Stirling is KY-Gel? Have I got that right?
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And as to NYE Countdown, I don’t want to spend any NYE with Times New Roman all caps, thank you very much.
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Now that’s a Gateway to Dog Swamp, and a timely homage to our favourite Councillor.
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Precisely why it was taken Snuff.
I cant recall the details and I can’t be bothered reading the whole thread, but I do beleive “our Matt” said something along the lines of…
“I was born a Gen II man , but I’ll die a Gen III”
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Does that mean he’s some sort of transcendant being?
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That’s probably for others to decide, but as Snuff pointed out, he did make 2009 TWoP Comment of the Year.
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And a fine comment it was, too.
Why does everyone hate Richardbl?
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actually, i think the question is why does richardbl hate everyone?
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I don’t think we hate him SW (at least I don’t). The whole thing with Rich has developed over time. He’s a bit touchy. And some of us cheekily play on that.
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I see. TWOP Lore.
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light the blue touchpaper at arm’s length and retire to a safe distance
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If you’re a masochist, SW, you could trawl through the reams of abusive comments he’s posted and see that he’s a self-obsessed, self-pitying, approval seeking drama queen. I doubt that anyone could be bothered hating him for that alone.
As is usual in these cases, those who dish it out the most are least able to take it, and it’s on this point, which shaz and skink allude to, that tremendous fun was once to be had. Sometimes a single word would be all it took to engender a tirade of hissy fits, as he then played the persecuted victim. Unfortunately, so Pavlovian were his responses that they simply became tedious, until TLA had to finally implore him to cease and desist.
Nowadays, he just alternates between abuse and sycophancy. I prefer the former, personally, as it’s less disingenuous. Hope that helps, SW.
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You wouldn’t have to trawl too far back to find out and out abuse, SW.
I tale little offense from the abuse, what I object to is that playful enjoyable discussions are dragged down, and they become sincere investigations of who said what when. I find sincerity to be so unseemly.
If I wanted entertainment of that type I would watch senate committee hearings.
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I should offer an detailed defense to snuff and little snuff’s typically erroneous statements but its such pathetic garbage that its hardly worth even writing this brief reply.
They are nothing more than prime examples of haters needing to hate.
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Don’t forget TLA, Richarbl.
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Good point, I forgot he deleted several of your abusive comments.
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Ah WAtching – that is my favourite comment, “I find sincerity to be so unseemly”.
This sketch could be of Mez?
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Prior to the impending implosion I implore people to consider the question:
what would buff jesus do?
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TLA has never had to say this …
“Perhaps you can just stop now Richarbl. I wanted you to come back and make some amusing comments on the topics as you have done in the past. Why can’t you do that? Why you are doing this baffling and ridiculous commenting I really don’t know. You seem hell bent on making yourself look like a dickhead. Time to make some real comments or just stop altogether OK? I really don’t want to ban you but you are just making it tedious for other readers now. Confine your comments to the subjects alone from now on please.”
… to anyone but Richarbl, SW.
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MP: I see the resemblance…
Shazza: Great Call
Hmmm… Steak Sandwich.
Excuse me.
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Snuff Inseminators 09 5:17
“Speaking of waiting, anyone who enjoys torturing kids, and hey, who doesn’t”
That one single comment is all anyone would need to know you snuff.
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RBL: I demand that you retract your comment right away.
Readers: Can I point out that Snuff in no way endorses or encourages the torture of children. Apparently it ruins the flavour.
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And then you need to garnish them with marshmallows, WAtching. Looks like he forgot the bit about sarcasm, again.
p.s. Here’s the full quote, and here’s the video it referred to, just in case anyone might be misled by Richarbl’s pathetic attempt.
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I torture kids and I vote.
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Well that does it, Bento. I’m now going to completely ignore the thousands of fine comments you’ve made and obsess on part of this one. Voting.
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Yes you are correct snuff, collecting comments and photos to use against other contributors is pathetic.
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I collect comments and photos and I vote.
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Good Question SW I think it stems from the fact that many of my comments have interpreted as being provocative when in fact they were intended to be funny.
Often my humour is not recognised and in many cases a TWOP contributor has taken a comment to heart that had nothing to do with them at all and made an entire literary career out of it.
Any normal person would google an unknown word or phrase or request clarification but instead some have chosen to spend the next hundred posts criticising every single word I have said (exaggeration intended).
The fact is TWOP is maelstrom of entertainment and I think at times I have added to the colour if not the mood.
Having said that Richarbl is a slow learner but fortunately he has had very good teachers.
In answer to vegans cheap shot (#117), I do not hate anyone on this site.
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Thanks Rich, that sums it all up far better than anyone else could have. It had to be in your words for full comprehension
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oh gosh, rbl, but that was only a joke.
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Damn! forgot the bit about sarcasm.
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essence of twop baby!
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my favourite bit of Richie Bull is that snippet of his RSVP profile that lists some of his other interests as ‘weekends away, reality’
how long since you spent a weekend away in reality, Rich?
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I would be happy to share my weekends with you skink but of course reality, along with sincerity, is banned from TWOP.
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Banned –
Sincerity, reality, sarcasm, humour (richarbl’s), psychoanalysis, cheap shots, predictability, provocation, collecting photos, torturing kids with marhsmallows, ToV councillors, abusive comments, quasi feminists, ivory dildoes, pathetic garbage, typically eronneous statements…
May as well call it a day I reckon LA.
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We know you want reality, but you will hear none. We’d rather exaggerate a little fiction.
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[please, please god let me be the first]
…and cunts!
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I rather thought that may be all we were left with Mez.
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cunts and god – yes, that is all that is left
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We’ll always have Darch. We didn’t have, we, we lost it until you came to Camillo. We got it back last night.
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I like Richarbl – his just happened to be the 1st post after my 1st in the epic spreading tentacles thread, and planets aligned with his RSVP.com profile, and the rest is history.
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If you do go gravatar Matt, I would suggest a “real” one of you, especially if you want to comment seriously on other blogs. Gravatars show up on most of the blog platforms. If you only intend to comment here, thensomething amusing would be good.
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I like this one Matt…
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OK OK.
I am sorry about the nuclear jokes. No More.
You did say that you were weaning yourself off those sites, which is a good thing, and should
be encouraged.
Nuclear really isn’t a burning issue for me. But you can see why I took the picture of the sign.
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I don’t mind the nuclear commentary. I’m open about my position that nuclear power is a sensible and safe option to provide low-carbon energy.
*end of political statement*
Also “those sites” are the crank climate ones, I still think it is valuable to know what they are on about but the arguments don’t go anywhere. I’ll be sticking with Bravenewclimate though – hardly a crank blog.
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I’ll take your word for it.
More importantly, Can we please have an Osaka Duck?
Just imagine it in the pond at the Freeway “on Ramp?”
Hyde Park?
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ah, the ole ‘I’m open to an enormous bribe over nuclear power’. So very familiar. Just not in your backyard eh Matty?
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TLA – I have a nice one of me on a boat. It has it all – self-administered haircut, slightly flared jeans, smug smirk… you may remember it:)
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So… about that Osaka Duck?
You could get the jump on She-Ra
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You’ve been wondering what to do with the Hyde Park lakes, especially now that the dugongs are all fucked, and the dolphins are dying of ennui.
I want my fucking Osaka Duck!
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I have always imagined Councillor Buckels as as the bastard love child of Josh Byrne and Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall
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funny, cos i was just thinking today that perhaps Paulie Shaw
is the love child of Richard Simmons and Leo Sayer.
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Rolly, I’ve always had visions of you living in the countryside. Despite the fact your submissions all seem to stem from CoS (that’s City of Stirling not ‘Church’ of Scientology)
Anyway great shot old man.
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It’s where my heart resides, dear shazza.
The references to Dumbleyung are all a figment of the hyperactive TLA imagination.
But please, less of the “old man”: I’ve still a few years to go before I join the “Life begins at 70” brigade’.
Just.
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I agree. Very Nice.
Hillarys?
It is pure folie. No function is served by it at all.
Perhaps goodkid would like to see that atop Cockburn Central.
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Scabs, mate.
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Rolly FTW, is this a competition, did I win?
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Let me just chime in here and confirm that the Leederville Carnivale was indeed the most completely burlesque and thoroughly tapas event Perth has to offer
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You some kind of futurist Pfffffft?
Next Sunday week, folks.
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I read about it in the Lonely Planet.
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Nothin’ better than a few olives and a bit of fishnet Pfort. Get with the fucking program. Not only is burlesque an ART; it also gives women (and not just the lookers) the means for expressing their sexuality within a healthy, non-exploitative framework.
I sincerely hope that the Leederville Carnivale will live up to the excitement its advertising suggests, i.e. by
feature contributions from the local pole-dancing club, a lame Latin band, and some overpriced bits of fried sausage on little plates.
While I’m thinking of it, any reports on the most recent Perth beer fest?
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A non regular commenter recently reported to TWoP that it was yards (pun intended) ahead of the previous one.
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Yes, I now read that it was actually beery good this year.
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Hop along now, that was barley a pun at ale.
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Your irrational hatred of burlesque/tapas leads you into some dangerous territory sir.
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Definitely a case of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts, it’s the unwholesome conjunction of the two that really gets my goat. For some reason I find the notion inextricable from clouded nightmare visions of thumbing through ‘Lonely Planet Bolivia’ while Leonard Cohen lilts mournfully from the iPhone
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“Honey, if you’re hungry for something a bit more than tapas, we could always pop into Jus Burger, or that new pizza place run by that Theo – you know THEO? – yeah, the book I got you last Christmas. Best pizza in the world, apparently. Anyway, I’m just going to finish watching the burlesque – it is considered an art now you know – so if the baby’s kicking, or your feet are getting sore, just sit down over near the band. Quite good, aren’t they – a bit like Buena Vista Social Club. OK, see you in a minute”.
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And those god awful druming cunts. Sambanistas or something.
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Wasamba?
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That’s not burlesque. This is burlesque.
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Why is the N.Y.E. COUNTDOWN text aligned with the right side of the sign?
The shift from writing any kind of public announcement LIKE THIS to all-lower-case yuppie minimalism has always intrigued me.
Good to see Natalia getting her due, but I truly am her #1 fan.
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no caps, right alighned – the only way to go
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And use fucking Helvetica.
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I just noticed that a seriously rational hatred of mine, Lior presents himself in italicised and raNDoMlY CApitALiSed PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS FOR FUCKS SAKE. Incidentally, I shattered a copy of his ‘Autumn Flow’ in my naked fist last night and will be uploading a picture of the resulting debris if anyone’s interested
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Hardly irrational. Jack Johnson and John Butler have a lot to answer for. By the way, I’m still looking for a babysitter for my sons Tim and Winton for the day that Jules and I are going to the WCB&RF.
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WCB&RF?
West Coast Beer & Root Festival?
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…never mind.
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The festival organizers were originally going to call it the B&S Ball, but apparently someone had already taken the name.
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A bit dangerous even mentioning B&S around here, after last year’s Thread of Doom.
Bogan hordes will descend on us.
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why those b& S cunts are all driving Great Wall utes now arent they?
fucken good utes great walls, four wheel drive, root in the back, barnesey in the front and three litres of stump pulling power under the bonnet
fucken wipes those city boy fowlcan and commodes into the dust mate
and bundy is camels piss
and Muresk is a half way house for barely socialised sheep shaggers
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wat sort of rig you got mate?
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Great Wall utes are for fucken poofta cunt deadshits who coudn’t get a root in a brothel on a Saturday night and can’t hold their fucken piss mate.
I’d totally fucken go ’em.
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The correct term is couldn’t get a root in a brewery or organse a piss up in a brothel.
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Great comment A++++++++++
Would read again!
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Diana.
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you wouldn’t actually want to hit a wall in a Great Wall ute
I think they have a two star crash rating
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Are youse all seriously suggestin’ that any bogan worth their salt would be seen in or with one of these? http://www.greatwallmotors.com.au/
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skink – safety is for pooftas
gin gin ute show 17 april
watch the average IQ of both Perth and GinGin increase
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NSfan#1 please re-read SW thread of doom comment
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http://www.webtvhub.com/scary-chinese-car-crash-video-what-happens-to-a-badly-made-car-at-40mph/
more bogans in chinese cars
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The band I seriously hate at the moment is Mumford and Sons. What a bunch of tossers.
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Absolute cunting folkers.
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Remove those poseurs from your life, get into Swell Season!!!!
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Yes to Swell Season orbea. And Monsters of Folk.
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waistcoats?
why the waistcoats?
if you’re going to wear a waistcoat, don’t fuck around, wear a fedora as well
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Papyrus. Another cunt font. And to think it took some bastard six months to design it:
“The font was created in 1982 and released the next year to foundry Letraset. It was originally hand-drawn over a period of six months by means of calligraphy pen and textured paper. Costello described his goal as a font that would represent what English language texts would have looked like if written on papyrus 2000 years ago.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papyrus_(typeface)
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Hope Sarita is playing some time soon, at either the Carnivale or the WCB&RF.
On reflection, I think I was traumatized by the experience of sharing a house with a young woman who wouldn’t wear deodorant, and who insisted on doing some kind of “expressive dancing” in our lounge-room every morning around 6am, most often to the strains of either Tori Amos or Ani de Franco.
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God how I hate Ani di Franco too.
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the amount of times I’ve been cock-blocked by Ani di cunting Franco…
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Just a hint pfortner. If you’re trying with fans of Ani it’s never going to happen. Ani fans won’t even have sex with other women.
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not true, oh my word not true
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Lesbian Folk Rock is the only genre I find more bewildering than Drum & Bass.
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How do you feel about Jose Gonzalez Pfort?
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Google offers two video results, for ‘Heartbeat’ and ‘Teardrop’. I think I just experienced a ‘Gulletthrum’, or possibly a ‘Bilestorm’.
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I’d never even heard of Lior, and already I hate him.
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Geez SW – I wish I could crawl under whatever rock it is that you’re hiding under.
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It’s sad, isn’t it?
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Hardly. Apart from Natalia, I do my best to avoid any traces of popular culture, yet the shit still seems to somehow seep in. Hooray for alliteration.
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Then these should please you.
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Nice work Pfort. Hammer of the gods.
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Nice work. Any significance attached to Persian carpet advertising?
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But of course!
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This is because it used to say “2000 NYE Countdown”. Seriously.
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Ahhh the old Nuclear Free chestnut.
Maybe WAtching you’d like us to hold an arts competition to design new, vibrant and innovative entry statement. The current sign is probably less worst than whatever might win.
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Bedford Crackpot Society wins everytime – Gateway to Dog Swamp
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Tapas free zone.
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Couldn’t we just replace the “Nuclear Free Zone” with “Cunts”?
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well, you could, quite easily I imagine
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Well I for one think “Welcome, Cunts” has quite a nice ring to it.
Councillor?
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How about: “Cunts Welcome”?
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Well you’ve got to realise I kinda like the place.
“Vincent – spend a lot of time in the rest of Perth and you’ll love it.”
“Vincent – I you don’t like it here we suggest you try Melbourne.”
“Vincent – holding back the bogan masses since 1994.”
“Welcome to Vincent – hope you don’t feel too inferior.”
“Vincent – an Oasis in the cultural desert.”
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Nice work Matt B. Not a cunt in sight.
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“Vincent – the Fremantle of the North”?
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How could you Mez? How could you?
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Fremantle, the Leederville of the south but with more sheep piss. And Peter Dowding.
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I spit in your general direction.
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or this?
http://bit.ly/byVO0V
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jesus tits mp!
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bad font huh?
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There’s no need to bring Sara Palin into this.
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An excellent suggestion Councillor, although TWoP has already done the hard yards for you. Your suggestions are very good, but in a thrilling contest only rivalled by the Council elections, Bedford Crackpot Fraternity took it out with the magnificent Gateway to Dog Swamp.
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“Gateway to Dog Swamp” is excellent, but would not suit the Cambridge/Vincent border in the photo.
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Matty if you’re going to stick around, do the decent thing and get yourself a shit-eating gravatar- amirite? eh? eh?
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If there is one thing I admit to it is being a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to those picture things. Any suggestions? Maybe a Mark Latham?
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Liz Constable? Robyn McSweeney perhaps? or what about Gina Rhinehart?
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Bree Maddox? Basil Zempilas?
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Chernobyl?
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Sister City = Hiroshima?
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At least with the default one we know it’s you, Councillor. If you do fancy a gravatar, see here.
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Kate Ceberano?!
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Don’t start up with the Scientology again.
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vince catania?
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how about nick catania’s custard tart?
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Warning : there may be a logical error in the above statement.
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root brewed brothel piss
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Write to Me. Paul I hope this is you
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You’re dead outta luck, mate, this is the Worst Dating Site EVER!
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Well…this is awkward.
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