Say what you like about Richarbl, actually no, please don’t, but in any case he took up the challenge of photographing the Ranges Inn, got a marvellous exterior shot, was rebuffed at his first attempt to photograph the interior, went back and got one. I really love the wrecked car trailer. The future will appreciate the pic I think, because you get the feeling that the building, like the Norwood won’t be with us for ever. The old section does have a certain charm. Might even be some Cocos for aficionados. Wonder what its history is. The bloke with his dog is pure Australia. Now this is someone’s business, so make sure you frame your comments with that in mind. Legally questionable comments will be deleted. 
Worst Talk
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The Worst of Perth 
On a serious note, I think that all these kodak moments need to have the street address attached, so that in 2045 they can look back and go “uhh, 45 Guildford st Maylands” rather than “where the hell was that photo taken?”
Cheers TLA :)
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Forget the address…
Where’s my fucking Cocos?
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Dear TLA,
Sorry I was not able to produce the seven pictures
of “The Ranges” that you requested.
But these ones are quite nice.
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Not counting boxing, darts, dwarf-tossing, or burnout comps, do you think an actual sportsman has ever walked through those doors?
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come on Bento – now your just getting picky…
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Mixed Martial Arts?
Kung Fu Rugby?
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Actually, (and I don’t know ifn he is a drinking man) Danny Green used to train and have kickboxing demos up the hill at Greenmount Hall – if you can call that a sport, that is as close as The Ranges got
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I said not counting boxing. I might allow burnout comps.
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kicking?
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All right. Kicking’s in. I stand corrected. It is a sportsman’s bar, after all.
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The place would be deserted right now in anyway.
If Bogan Frottage is your thing, head to Subi.
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the dog
and his master
slump beside
worthless souvenirs
of
The Lucky Shop
slow horses
that could have been
beers
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No need to make any comments TLA. The guy slumped at the bar said it all for me. Then again so does the rubbish pile at his feet. Oh, and so does the kipping dog.
Did I mention the bar stools?
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The two bar stools left of the customer are used by the skimpies.
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what do they use them for??
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sponge has well known absorbent qualities.
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They become soiled.
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Dear god. That pub has it all:
Lone, clinically depressed customer slumped over the bar. Dog (possibly dead) slumped on the floor. Crap faux-celtic font above the doors. Plus the truck!
The only thing missing is the skimpie.
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When I was in there on thursday I actually asked said skimpie if I could take her photo.
She said no, and I wasn’t going to argue the point. She was actually quite pretty but I think its fair to say she hadn’t been poached from the Dalkieth Hotel.
Its a shame TLA didn’t include another interior photo which showed the ceiling falling down around the filthy airconditioning outlet, the missing flouro tubes and the roof mounted gas fired heaters.
TLA puts up seven photos of the the same burnt out van and I only get three…. to think I risked my life for this, sigh.
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Imagine how Robert Capa felt when only a handfull of his D-Day photos survived
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Sorry for himself and seeking approval too no doubt, Mez.
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He felt like a cunt.
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Try Raylene’s ‘feels on wheels’ van, Thursday nights between eight and midnight, parked behind the rubbish skip .
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Why don’t you back off? My comment was deliberately overly dramatic, everyone else gets the fucking joke.
Why continue with your cowardly comments when you have the opportunity to say what you really think .
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Sorry rich. I got the joke. No offence intended.
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But of course he didn’t, SW.
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However in the interests of blog harmony I make will a point for you consider.
Your attemts to make me look like a dickhead are actually having the opposite effect, allow me to explain.
snuff, you have a certain position of respect on this blog and your comments generally reflect that of an wise elder.
As such, it is beneath your status to continue a negative campaign against a lesser contributor.
As before I don’t mind defending myself against your puerile comments but I think it best if you stay right the fuck away from me.
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drama queen on international wimmins day, feeling left out?
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Not you SW, my comment was a reply to snuffs snide reference.
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How about it snuff?
TLA is not here to save you this time. Come on cunt this is your big opportunity to tell everyone what you really think.
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No worries.
Here’s some awesome:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_kww0jxG4BD1qzb3a1o1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1268107002&Signature=yOUC8G5lTYkEC07y7pVtuuc%2F2Zk%3D
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It was such a shame. The carefree, brotherly love was gone – forgotten like those windswept afternoons in Jurien, frolicking around the dunes, two sun-bronzed, fartarsed young men discovering for the first time those innocent joys, the thick batter-crusts and greasy papers, a meal shared in silence as the sweat and spume intermingled in the ocean balm. We all used to go there, in our way, even when we couldn’t, even as far removed from the coast’s broad freedom as the Gnagara mound or the Gosnells traino, all of us constantly as one, basking in the soft breeze, drifting aimlessly with the soft gliding touch of the Doctor. Where did it all go wrong? Richarbl wondered, rubbing his chin. Why can’t we just be mates again? Carn, Snuff, he thought. Carn, be a sport – give us a chance.
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wasn’t Jurien methinks more like Juno
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Again, Pf ? Even if he dropped the disingenuous sycophancy and stuck to abusive drivel he’d have Buckley’s.
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http://bit.ly/gUtYH
x mp
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Blessed are the cheese-makers.
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Exactly. Thanks, mp.
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For once I was being sincere.
Do you think for a moment that I am seeking your approval because if you do then you must be severely deluded.
I do not seek approval from anyone, I am my own person and my presence on this blog is for my own reasons entirely.
But of course you have chosen to ignore the opportunity to be a better person and so the unpleasantness continues, might be interesting to see what TLA might have to say about this because your comment at 11:42 was clearly designed to raise my ire.
For once TLA might realise who is actually the protagonist in this endless soap opera.
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one of my favourites Pforts!
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That is so good I can see the movie. Snuff played by Johnny Depp, Richarbl by Matt Damon.
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matt damon….
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How about Ryan Reynolds for Rich?
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Word of advice Rich.
If you have a reputation as a bit of a moaner or whinger, perhaps you should NOT base your humour on pretending to moan or whinge.
That’s on the house.
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Fuck off cunt, if I want your advice I will ask for it.
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A cry for help if I ever heard one…
There is always hope…
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Fuck off cunt, if I want your help I will ask for it.
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My Pleasure.
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Magnificent Rich, and i remember that pub fondly from my
Welshpool- Midland-Kalamunda repping days. Use to pass by regularly. Please note i said “pass by” and i don’t want anyone to get too jealous of the upmarket territory i had to visit clients in.
I think that pub is more Australian than any Tim Winton story could ever be.
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“…Welshpool- Midland-Kalamunda repping days.”
I feel for you MP. I really do.
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Thank you for recognising my pain SW. Upon reviewing my previous comment i possibly should have closed it with a gratuitous “cunt” comment so thank you for kick starting my day as only you can.
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What were you repping in that part of the world mp?
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health insurance group deduction schemes to business and individuals, G6. was mighty exciting indeed. in fact, i can feel the anticipation building whilst i am typing. whoaaaa. get back.
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Health insurance group deduction schemes? That gives me more of a horn than a dead pope.
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Great work rich!
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Yes, good effort. That interior shot took some kahunas.
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Can anyone make out the signage above the doors?
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The Heritage
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You speak Irish as well as Chinese TLA?
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It’s perfectly cromulent.
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I thought it said ‘The Dero Cage’
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Heritage my arse. Is it a restauraunt?
They should have just gone straight for the jugular and called it ‘The Munted Cunt’.
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Kudos Rbl.
Very nice worsting.
Only a matter of time before they turn this into a Tapas Bar.
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Not Without My Gravatar.
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It seems to already be partly an Indian Restaurant, WAtching. And you’re right, those cocos palms look better from the traditional prone perspective.
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The Indian Restaurnat has been there for years in the downstairs of the old hotel (which used to be called The Darling Range Hotel). It was really good North Indian food too run by a really nice and generous family who I hope are still there. The restuarant was truly an oasis for us who had to put up with Midland. The interior shots are of that 70’s extension which was always a XXXX XXXX.
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Oooh, I see it also has accommodation. So, WAtching, just how far will you go for a Worst?
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I stop this side of bed bugs.
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and that is entirely reasonable WAtching – one man can only go so far for his art.
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If the Ranges Inn ever had life, it was dead now.
It was like walking into a lung, a sulfer-stained, nicotine
yellow and fly-blown lung.
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These are some very good photographs. The indoor one is especially good.
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Wonder what’s on the telly? Sundays repeat of First Tuesdays Book Club perhaps?
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….The Gee-Gees!
The rubbish is all discarded Tatts tickets.
Well done richie: Top stuff and mobs of courage with it.
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you have very good eyesight rolly or had you just vacated the seat before Rich snapped?
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Snapped in both senses?
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You were laughing to yourself when you typed that weren’t you pl?
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Did anybody happen to catch Rockwiz on the weekend?
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Well anyway they had Leo Sayer as a guest.
I’ll repeat that: Leo. Fucking. Sayer. Official Dickhead. Terminal tosser. Antiquated arsehole.
Are they that depserate? Have they no sense of shame? What were they thinking? Despite having a teensy man-crush on Julia Zemiro, I just couldn’t bring myself to watch it.
For Leo. Fucking. Sayer is a poxy cunt-arse howler-monkey.
Rant ends.
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For You SW.
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mmm, last time I saw Leo Sayer was during the Woolworths Carols in the Domain brought to you by the Telstra NextG Network
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I hope you pissed all over him.
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Jayzus! That has got to be one of the worst renditions of that song. JL isn’t only rolling over in his grave, he’s dug himself out and is packing a Charter Arms .38 Special revolver and knocking on doors in Sydney looking for anyone named Sayer
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pl may beg to differ, SW.
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Jeezus snuff, how do you remember that stuff. You clearly are not living the life of a cigarette company executive.
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I hadn’t forgotten that I bloody love Leo Sayer, but I had forgotten that comment. you have this all in a relational database don’t you snuff…
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Julia Zemiro?
Phwoar
I turned on last week and it was Tex Perkins. It was the sinking feeling in my stomach that finally made me acknowledge that I have a teeny bit of a man crush on Julia myself.
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Same here skink.
But they did have Pence Hodgson from the Grates, so that kind of made up for the disappointment.
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and speaking of man crush, I have just developed one for Kathryn Bigallover.
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Mmmmm.
Tina Fey.
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You’d better get in quick:
http://bit.ly/cTtAMx
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She’s his ex-wife.
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…I thought “man crush” was the same as guy love
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me too Mez.
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Well evidently that’s not the way we’re using it.
Perhaps Cohen The Grammarian can clarify matters.
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help me Obi Cohen, you are my only hope…
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Urban dictionary says,
1. Man Crush ,
When a straight man has a “crush” on another man, not sexual but kind of idolizing him.
Many straight men end up having man crushes on Johnny Depp (I don’t blame them).
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I have one on Shaun Micallef
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It seems I have made a giant cock of myself again.
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ah, think nothing of it Shreikster
It’s nice to be a trainspotter for once.
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I am gratified this was cleared up and my expertise was not required.
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Happy IWD, BTW shazz.
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Thankyou SW, much appreciated.
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well, you learn something every day
not a man crush then
just old fashioned lusting after the unobtainable
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Rant begins:
If you are going to make insults on this blog, show some fucking respect and do not bring monkeys in to the same conversation.
It’s a bit of a cunt of a thing to do.We are highly intellectual, sensitive beings. Just remember that.
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I stand chastened and embarrassed MP.
In short I feel like a total cuntbucket.
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Whilst thou sweetly veiling
thy minds language powers,
Left me much to admire,
yet still more to love.
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i saw a hamadryas baboon shit into his open palm and then pluck up the bits with his other hand and eat them, still warm and I never forgot it
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ya know Pforts i nearly posted a vid of a monkey eating poo but i still haven’t quite recovered from your magnificent work last week so i can’t bring myself to do it.
i must be getting soft in my later years….
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.. but you have it in reserve right? I wanna see it!
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only because it’s you Pman:
don’t look if you have a week stomach
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As tempted as I am to go with a masturbating cat, orangutan or walrus, mp, I think I’ll try to raise the tone with this, (which features on a commercial here, and is therefore probably making the owner a fortune).
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As I don’t read Japanese I take it that’s Maru… he and his owner deserve to make a fortune.
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thank you snuffasuarus for cleansing my mind with something sweet. i try to resist the dark side but it won’t leave me alone.
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Always a pleasure, mp.
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Week at the Ranges
Bellevue’s finest sinking piss
V8s on TV
Sick of Red Rooster
Drunken wander up to the
Lucky Dragon? Nah
Dahn’t like that XXXXX food
See what’s at the servo mate
Snag us something cunt?
Phwoar, too right – Twisties
Nothin better to soak up
A day on Export
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You are a legend Rich! It’s just as I remember it
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I once more claim the distinction of having played a gig at the Ranges Inn circa 1991. Can’t remember too much about it, except an initial sense of terror and the subsequent relief at how much the bogan/bikie clientele seemed to appreciate our rudimentary Joy Division and Sisters of Mercy inflected maunderings. We didn’t get beaten up, anyway.
I’ve got mixed feelings about this kind of pub. On the one hand, as Richarbl’s excellent photos demonstrate, they’re truly risible. On the other, I find the likes of the Brisbane, or that new bar at the Murray St end of Shafto Lane, far more so.
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you’re alive Nat Fan!
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Even made it to work on time yesterday, though still paying the price.
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Rat bite your face? It happens. I too am a little impaired, I caught myself halfway thru chanting ‘BEAST WARS!’ on the shop floor like some kind of pubescent retard
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….
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Concise. To the point. Economical use of words.
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Holy Forkboy! Where have you been?
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drunk…..procreating…..day release….centerlink…..the usual.
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sounds like a great to-do-list. i’ll swap ya!
http://bit.ly/ckxrr8
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Can I join in:
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so glad you did Ljuke, that’s brilliant!
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Range Rover rusts red
defeated drunk, dog lays dead
reads the epitaph.
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很久沒有看到 forkboy !
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thanks Snuff….yea its been a while….been laying low. Good to see the usual misfits are still painting these pages.
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hey, the curry place below the pub is excellent. tacky and horribly decorated, but the food rates!!!
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It may be of interest to some here that alongside the expected seven days a week skimpies, the Ranges Inn is now advertising something called a “Rat’s Ass Pint” for the princely sum of seven bucks. Naturally I was curious as to the nature of such an appealingly titled beverage. Google reveals the pub’s own website to contain the known universe’s sole reference to this “locally brewed beer”. I admit to words such as “trough” and “dregs” flitting through my mind while pondering this, though one should of course draw one’s own conclusions.
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Natalia Fan! Where you been??
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Up shit creek DC, but thanks for asking :-)
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When life gives you shit creek, make lemonade.
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Who indexes this crap ?
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Catching up on some worsts this morning Bill and have just noticed the same. Scrutiny of the chalkboard at stage left reveals the advertisement for the mystery ale.
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