Ai Ya! I’m just about to be a mature age student! I’d better go down an hour early to make sure I can get front row seating. I must think up a question to ask right at the last second of class. I also need to be able to imply that my own life experiences are more valid than the tutor’s. Must also find out location of tutor’s car so can follow them to the carpark afterwards to like chat about stuff.
I’ll be a student in the next building to where Outrage Cohen will be teaching journos at the same time! Oh the humanities. 
The Worst of Perth 
yep that about sums up most of my mature age students.
your lecturers would probably be disappointed if you behaved in any other way TLA. I can see you all hanging out together:
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Yep Mp, I hear you.
My limited experience teaching students at Curtin was memorable. I had some doozie debates while tutoring smart arse mature agers. Just remembering them now still shits me.
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it’s enough to drive a woman to drink shazza! that’s what i tell senor moneypants anyway.
and thanks for the blondie post the other day, i’ve been forcing the kids to listen to my old cd’s in the car. Blondie rocks.
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don’t forget to crap on about the buddhism/quantum physics connection, or perhaps what your children said while potty training or whatever…
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It has been close to 30years since I thought about Schrodinger’s Cat & I was happy with the quantum leap to Buddhism now 30years on and I when I’m not reminiscing about potty training I wonder If Schrodinger ‘hated’ cats.
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I expect DFOC will direct his students to this site.
A dose of ‘up yours future cunts’ interspersed with Wintoning seems a good foundation for aspiring gerbalists.
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I think they keep teaching that journos have ethics.
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Really? They’re still running with that ol chestnut?
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When you got Fuckwits like Matthew Franklin and Latika Bourke recycling Liberal Party Talking Points Verbatim, what do you expect ?
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Well done TLA. I reward you with a picture of Japan exploring its sexuality:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_kqkyufQA3v1qzhl6vo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1267858813&Signature=NqyIiqGDH1kmYBKe%2FHLQ86Ks8C0%3D
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looks a bit fishy to me:
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I see your sushi and raise you a Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife!
http://bit.ly/aiF9iq
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I call Urotsukidoji time:
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Quite frankly Japan is beginning to freak me out:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_kuaebaiGHv1qz5mt0o1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1267860671&Signature=6A3zxFRd2yq7%2F56P0lcXeSRYsD8%3D
The cunts.
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Holy fucking shit:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cunt%20badger
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“you sir…are a cunt badger” as an insult
“Argh i’ve got a cunt badger” as a medical complaint
“Cunt Badgers!!!” a cry of desperation
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jeez, is everyone here a tutor?
I had brief experience as a tutor and it sent me running screaming to the hills.
Mature age students were definitely the worst. Either they knew it all and kept interrupting to show that they knew more than you and should really be teaching, or they knew absolutely fuck all and had to have the very basics explained to them.
either way, they did not seem to have any reluctance in interrupting the session to try to tailor the whole course to their own needs.
you can’t teach an old cunt new tricks
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Oh, I’m sad to hear that.
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actually, it was the kids who were just thick as pigshit that shat me the most
entry levels were so low that, as Lisa points out, many of them did not have the basic levels of numercy required. Several times I had to ask then why they thought they might be suited to a field where they obviously struggled to grasp the basic tools.
still, at least they kept quiet about it and did not feel the need to broadcast their ignorance, or suggest that somehow not having a grasp of the entry-level theory was mitigated by the fact they had years of experience in the workplace.
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numeracy, numeracy… good job it wasn’t literacy.
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When I explained to a 3rd year student her writing skills were below uni level standard, she remarked I was the first teacher to mention it. I was gobsmacked and outraged.
Curtin has a free support service for students who are below par and no one, prior to myself, had even considered referring her. Fucking Amazing.
You taking note of all this DFOC?
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what I couldn’t stand (as a student, not a tutor) was the fucking American exchange students who had to take at least one (1) philosophy unit in order to pass ‘back home’. Led to a lot of ‘YAH BET ‘FURE GUNNA WALK AROUND DRESSIN LAHK A HOOR, URE ASKIN FOH’T’ and ‘hurr hurr like, what if Gahd is like, the sun or some shit, what then’. It was a glorious day when a certain media tutor at a certain campus addressed one as a ‘redneck from Texas’. Anyway the whole int’l students rort is imploding on itself now, as it should, it’s degraded our entire education system. Not to Trot it all out, but the ‘user pays’ thing really FUCKED IT for good.
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Yeah at least the mature agers have opinions (usually about everything). The mute 17 year olds are far more annoying. Doing a ‘why are you here’ thing once around a group I received the reply “because I failed the air force test”
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Such stereotypes. I’d like to talk about the 18 year olds who can’t spell or punctuate, need lectures and handouts dedicated to how to subscribe to the lecture podcasts, answer their mobiles loudly in the library after letting them ring 5 times, and kick the back of my chair during entire lectures.
You bastards. Thanks to these mature-age stereotypes, I always keep very quiet about how I was so bored I read the entire textbook during school holidays; only ask a question once every 3 classes (just enough to get the participation mark); never talk about my kids’ potty training even when the topic is developmental psychology; never tell the kid next to me that I got my first degree the year he was born; sit up the back of lectures and try to be first out the door; and linger in the coffee shop so as to be 5 mins late for every class.
Somehow they still know I am over 40: how does that work?
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That’s the spirit, Lisa.
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It’s true that lit standards of young students are fucking appalling. They also think because the tutor is old (read over 35) they won’t know about plagiarisation from the internet.
I would be half way through marking an essay when suddently the writing style and intellect level changes. You smell a rat so google a couple fo sentences, Bam. Theyv’e Nurried a whole section of some academic article.
I won’t go into the time a student plagiarised a Neighbours plot.
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A neighbours plot? Really? I hope it had a sense of community that we are all missing, and that it made you laugh and cry at the same time, and that your emotional landscape was enhanced rather than diminished.
Seriously, that’s interesting, cos the problem is so rampant we have to submit essays via online plagiarism-detecting software; but I don’t think Neighbours plots are part of its algorithms so that would go undetected.
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… and my tutors so far have both been under 25, and they can’t spell either. But at least they know how to podcast.
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I plagiarised an episode of Homicide once, casting myself as Leonard Teale. Scored an A+ because the teacher said I looked good in a hat.
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I love the Neighbours plagiarism story.
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It’s an evil genius high distinction all right, Bento. Not only would it elude algorithms; what are the chances of a tutor ever having watched Neighbours ?
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I had a student last year who not only dropped pointed comments at every opportunity to the effect that she is a “model” of some description, and who often had to leave class early on this account, but who also in her final essay referenced an obscure book on Coptic monasteries not to be found in any library collection in WA. I was able to find a chapter listing for the book which suggested that none of the book’s content had any bearing on the subject of the essay. There were also repeated spurious references to unit texts. Because Google didn’t turn up any of her essay’s sentences, I couldn’t conclusively prove plagiarism, and still wonder what the Plagiarism Officer made of it all. With the same lot of essays, I got halfway through marking an apparently A+ essay before smelling a rat, Googling some phrases, and then discovering that the entire essay was a clever composite of at least ten separate internet sources. It would have taken said student less time to just write the fucking essay, I’m sure. Her rather more obtuse buddy had the temerity to directly plagiarise from the online marketing spiel of an official company website related to her essay’s subject. Wow.
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same experience here with plagiarism, but its so bloody tiring googling suss sentences for twenty five students submitting three essays a semester
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the advantage of doing the degree pre google. You might have been lucky to find more than two or three references but hardly any-one would have checked them .
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“They also think because the tutor is old (read over 35) they won’t know about plagiarisation from the internet. ”
What’s the internet?
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I had a delightful time in my two Curtin journalism tutorials this afternoon.
There were eager young minds willing to grapple with complex issues and keen to (respectfully) question the orthodoxies.
They had prepared well for the tutes and showed passion for their future careers.
Overall it was refreshing and invigorating.
I have no idea what you cunts are talking about.
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Snigger snigger. Always the joker DFOC.
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I know you guys have been teaching Frontline since it was released, any idea if Charlie Brooker’s Newswipe will make the syllabus? I’m watching it now and it is excellent.
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I agree
all journalism students should be forced to watch the exquisite tirade about newspapers at 2.30mins
it even has Clarkson’s quip about murdering prostitutes, for those that snigger at such things
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This guy is fantastic.
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He really is. Most of his stuff is on the ‘tube, which is great since they’ll never be screened over here.
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xthemusic kindly uploads most of it. Subscribe.
And here’s the Guardian for the RSS feed, etc.
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wow! just spent the last hour with this guy – great stuff!
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I have a hunch this is going to be the best thread ever!
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Surely it needs some anti bumpkin content first.
I would love to hear some pfortnering about what Tim Winton might think of his mature age writing students.
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Point taken pl. We need a ruraltard student story. Perhaps an essay with B&S references.
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What about mens rights? Just a thought.
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What about them Rich?
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Just yanking your chain sir, everyone knows men don’t have rights.
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Dear Lazy Aussie
Harden. The. Fuck. Up.
That is all.
Regards,
Gun Maker
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There’s a guy with a punk mohawk in the class.
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Mature age mohawk?
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No just one other semi old cunt. What is bad is that there are SEVERAL asians who already fucking speak Chinese in the class, tossing off an easy unit. I really hate that type. I might have to enrol in remedial english to fuck them up.
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Steve Martin had a part in his routine where out of nowhere he rumbles a few words at the audience and then very smugly says, ‘I forgot. You don’t speak Latin, do you?’
It might be worth a try.
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funny guy that Steve Martin:
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Me neither.
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Lacking observational skills, obviously.
Just wait until most of your male peers have dropped off the perch and left a swag of younger widows for you to play with and you’ll know what I mean.
It doesn’t take a hell of a lot of nouse.
Good spectacles are a help, though.
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I quite agree.
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I am neither a mature age student or a tutor or even a socialist… just felt adding some colour to the drab lineup of avatars on the right side of the page.
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jeez louise, now that is a nice rack!
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forgot to say – nice pick Big G
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Your triple-tits were nice too mp. I hope they come back some time.
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because you asked so nicely i’ll let you see them…..
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try again
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Most kind.
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Just got home of a Friday night and turned the comp on for my latest installment of TWOP. Here’s the funny thing – I’m a lecturer / tutor at Curtin as well – hahahahahaha!!!
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FFS. We’re ALL Spartacus, eh?
Lucky for me I spent a couple of years working for this establishment. Or I’d feel totally left out.
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What the fuck is all this about then? Cunt’s…
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i.e. – TWOC?
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The Worst of Curtin??
How worst can you get?
Nothing to equal it in the hole of the cuntry.
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Curtin is not worst.
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No, Murdoch is – by a long shot.
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No, Enid Blyton is.
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Wasn’t certain that EB counted as a university, despite its pretensions.
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Well it’s got University in the title.
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Apparently they have such things as “degrees”, “classes”, “lecturers”, and so on, so I guess EB counts. Perhaps I rate Murdoch as a worst simply because I have been there so long and have thus had time to discern, or simply to be confronted with, its less desirable features. The dilapidated “Chinese Garden”, with its emptied pond, overgrowing ivy, and rustically collapsed gazebo is truly something to behold. And then there’s those signs they put up everywhere during O-Week picturing some vapid looking young sheila telling us all how “flexible and friendly” the teaching staff are. Or the big plastic “1”s spitted into the grass all over Bush-Court during said week meant to indicate that Murdoch is, indeed, first amongst universities. Or the relatively recent “Discoverers Welcome” corporate iconography, with its meditative depictions of shoeless youths staring out over the ocean with long trails of footprints in the sand………..blahhhhhh.
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I am truly sad and surprised to hear about the dilapidation of the Chinese Garden. My daughter just started her degree at Murdoch and I told her to go have a peek as it was a lovely spot.
Is the pub any good these days?
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Shazza I think jesper once had something to say about the murdoch tav but can’t remember where. The comment not the tav
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Snuff would know. I believe he said Murdoch smelt like a turd, and the complained that there was in fact a pub on campus, and , “there is also music”.
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Yes, pl and shaz, as TLA noted here, Jesper was moaning about the fact that Murdoch actually had one, and that there was “quite often also music”. However, after finding himself featured here enjoying its hospitality, the irony was too much for him, and he selectively deleted all of the Murdoch related posts on his blog, which has since been rendered completely defunct. Fortunately, thanks to skink’s wonderful Xtranormal work, we’ll always have this verbatim record of Jesper’s blog entries. Unsurprisingly, given that his “collected works” on the aforementioned blog amounted to precisely zero, he’s now opted for a maximum of 140 characters.
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Thanks snuff. As funny today as it was then.
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You’re welcome, shaz, and trooper that Jesper is, he’s still giving it to Murdoch here and here, even as we speak.
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so many TWOPpers are Curtin tutors…….
The other issue with mature age students, is that they tend to take out all the prizes too. Expectations are now high LA.
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As I said, there are some ring ins who can already speak Chinese. I don’t expect the high distictions I got for the first year units I did. This is going to be hard.
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TLA, quick tip, there’s a kids cartoon that teaches basic Chinese. Little Miss Shazza told me yesterday how to say push in Chinese. I think it’s called Ni Hou, or some such.
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Since I’ve been studying off and on for about 6 years I’m unfortunately beyond the help of cartoons.
推. Tui. Push it real good.
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Chinko.
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You do know that’s Japanese, don’t you, G6 ? Regardless, the kids love it, and that’s what matters.
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I was in the neighbourhood, wasn’t I? Not like I was launching a pre-emptive strike and ‘Whoops, sorry Tokyo!’
It brings out my inner child too. Every time I watch it I laugh myself stupid.
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What is, “CLOSE THE FUCKING GATE”, in Chinese?
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maybe 他妈的门关闭 ?
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“Death is the only physician, the shadow of his valley the only journeying that will cure us of age and the gathering fatigue of years”
– George Eliot
mature age student
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I loved the idea of calling one of my daughters George, yet was restrained by the potential cruelty.
Thankyou arthertic for bringing another brilliant and beautiful female mind to the TWoP table.
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no worries mate
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What about Evelyn Waugh? She’s great, too.
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Never really fancied Arthur as a girls name.
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what about marieke?
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I like marieke.
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I had a great mate technically named Georgina, shaz, but whom everyone called George, and it was kinda cool.
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I miss that little guy
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Great song snuff. Did you read the comments below? There’s over 4000. Some are TWoP worthy.
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Indeed it is, shaz, and you can really see how much Johnny enjoys nailing it there in San Quentin. As you know there’s no dark alley of the net I won’t explore, but I do usually look the other way when I pass the apotheosis of retardation known as YouTube comments, so I’m happy to take your word on them.
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Double cruel since not even Mary Ann Evans had to go thru life actually being called George.
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