If anyone is in the Claremont area tomorrow night and sees ANY evidence of the impact of the City (excuse me while I vomit) Muster, please get a photo. Any rooting in the street. Any BMW burnouts. Any wet Prada contests. Any sincere but retarded bumpkins in the streets gawping at fancy city bathtubs. Anything.
Surprise surprise, creator of the worst song ever written in any genre “Hey True Blue”, John Williamson headlines. And also what a surprise Lee Kernigan and Kasey Chambers as also rans. Not Marilyn Chambers unfortunately, I think she ded. John The Bono Butler for Blues & Roots and Lee fucking Kernigan for a bumpkin bash. How imaginative. Here’s a shot which I assume is a rich farmer from Williams coming up for the bumpkathon. Unfortunately my phone pic is a little unclear, but it’s a Rolls Royce with a manky old roof rack. I assume only a farmer would put an old roof rack on their Roller. Probably for haybales or carting manure. WAtching, if you’re sniffing undies out Claremont way tomorrow… 
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The Worst of Perth 
Gyaah, stone the crows cunt
Lovely set of wheels ya got
Does it go off road?
Grace under carriage
Flawless patina of wealth
Bespecked with sheep shit
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Seek and ye shall find, TLA.
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Dammit TLA, the bloody Roller is probably older than the roof rack screwed to it, and might even have cost less.
What is it with you metrocentric twats that you can’t see past fucking brand labels?
Saw a ‘sweet young thing’ admiring a whole rack of identical items of clothing with a gleam of avarice in her eyes as she said to her girlfriend: “Gee! That’s different.”
Sad lot.
Nearly as sad as the sycophantic Williamson followers.
I hate CUNTry music.
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It’s noice. It’s different. It’s unusual.
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You only need a thin veneer of monogamy! You ARE effluent luv!
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Speaking of brand-snobbery Rolly, let me introduce you to the Recto Rotor (TM Regd.):
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but how do you feel about western?
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Love the Rolls with the roof rack. Very Beverley Hillbillies. With a touch post modern juxtapostion to boot.
And Rolly, I too hate cuntry music. But, Kasey is OK.
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In that case Shaz, perhaps you could explain the Kasey Chambers, Poppa Bill and the Little Hillbillies CD and book abominations to me.
http://www.thelittlehillbillies.com
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Defected to the Hordes of Chaos, eh Nat Fan? Great job!
I actually have the Little Hillbillies on tape (it’s my Pastor Benny Montage tape) from their smash hit performance at the Woolworths Carols in the Domain Brought To You By The Telstra NextG Network. Talk about child labour. It’s KC at her shittest, some ole chervil wailin’ on the banjee, and a bunch of sugared-up whelps, each on an ill-tuned harmonica, tunelessly huffin’ their lil’ hearts out. Yee-haa. They’re no Prussian Blue, that’s fo’ sho.
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I have to say I LOVE a lot of country music, up to around the 1970’s, and done by southern Americans, but I don’t get how Australian country singers think it’s authentic to sing in accents and vernacular that aren’t even authentic to most Americans. Calling your dad Poppa? Calling your children hillbillies?
(“The term hillbilly is commonly used in non-Appalachian areas as a reference in describing socially backward people that fit certain “hillbilly” characteristics. …
Due to its strongly stereotypical connotations, the term is frequently considered derogatory, and so is usually offensive to those Americans of Ozarkan and Appalachian heritage. However, the term is also used in celebration of their culture by mountain people themselves. Such co-opting and neutralizing use is almost exclusively reserved for the mountain people themselves.”
See also
Cracker
Hillbilly armor
List of ethnic slurs
Pikey
Redneck
Trailer trash
Yokel
source: wikipedia)
Fuck off Australian country music.
The Little Hillbillies make the Tin Lids look good.
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And that should be a non irrational hatred Slim fucking Dusty
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Dead fucking cunt.
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At least he didn’t fake an American accent, he just mumbled tunelessly.
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nyeeeaaaawwwww….
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The automobile as a metaphor for the phallus… Driving an analogy for sex…. Why hasn’t anyone in popular music come up with this formula before? More Australian innovation.
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yee. what brain drain. wee the smaht cuntry.
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Quite, yet another song containing an overused, dare I say cliched theme.
It does strike me as very peculiar though, that Shannon’s dick is big, black and shiny.
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gangrene.
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Not to mention the fizzy lifting drinks..
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Oh, it may not be clear, but that’s Crazy Penis.
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And that Shannon Noll “Song” was written by that poor excuse of Canuk schlock – Bryan Adams who inflicted this “classic” aided by fellow Worsts Rod Stewart and Sting.
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Reminds me of an old one…
Q: What do you do if you see Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting all singing together, and you’ve got a gun with only two bullets ?
A: Shoot Bryan Adams twice
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Wow – never thought I’d find another admirer of Prussian Blue’s work in these parts.
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Defected a long time ago, as you very well know. Is the Benny Hinn montage tape the same as the Dr Phil montage tape? If not, you’ll have to show me next time we convene.
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It’s a different tape, 7 hours of Pastor Benny et al with a bunch of nuke footage, Farmer wants a Wife, etc cut in. Main project at the moment is a Fat people montage, Dance Your Ass Off etc..
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I wasn’t referring to her music Natalia Fan.
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Beccy, Amber, Harmony… They sound like My Little Ponies.
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I love country music. As long as it’s performed by Gram Parsons, Will Oldham, Johnny Cash or Jon Spencer. Oh, and The Gourds.
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i’m quite fond of a spot of johnny cash, especially when i’m feeling down.
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Hot knives, vegan ?
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This could be the third vid:
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perhaps not that fond snuffy.
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Jon Spencer does country?
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Heavy Trash.
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Mainly dead people?
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Apart from Johnny Cash those are strictly speaking alt-country. I’m talking about George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Charlie Pride, Loretta Lynn etc
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I get serious about country music and its misappropriation.
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The subgenre is “not shit” country which is a small and eclectic band.
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It’s only called Alt-Country because the people making it didn’t want to be lumped in with Garth Brooks.
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Dwight Yoakum?
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Yes. I quite agree PL.
Although Tammy did team up with KLF for Justified Ancients of Mu-Mu.
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…and they drive an ice-cream van…
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damn damn this clipboard:
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“Tammy, stand by the jams”, it’s masterful.
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Great track.
The story of KLF is amazing!
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Especially the story relating to the Turner Art Prize.
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I will only believe that this Rolls Royce belongs to a farmer if it has cowhorns on the front
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Or a subsidy in the boot.
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Or Balls on the back…
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and here’s some proper country music
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try again…
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Awesome. I read a few of his novels a while back. Funny, funny stuff.
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If God is in His Heaven tomorrow the Bundy Bear will show up to make John Williamson squeal like a pig.
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Yeh, I am seein’ that.
Bundy Bear turns up at the City Muster.
Williamson croons, “Hey True Blue
Bundy Bear replies, “get fucked you worthless cunt, can’t you see I am white, now bend over”
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Test – I posted this earlier but somehow it shows up then disappears. Re Shannon Noll- that song was written by Bryan Adams who inflicted the following.
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hmm, my original post showed up after all – TLA, can you delete the bottom one ?
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Don’t worry Frank C, I get your point….. Shannon Noll, Bryan Adams, Sting, Rod Stewart should all be killed.
No problem from my point of view
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A disappointingly low number of comments today, I must say. To atone for the absence of my sorely, surely needed guiding hand – the hand that grabs your horns and corrals y’all away from profligacy and sin – I append the following post.
Many City Muster attendees profess communion in the Christian faith. This however is a claim that must be examined more closely. We best challenge supposed Christians on their own putative grounds, on the ground of Holy Scripture, to make ’em see the error of their ways. In this case, we require analysis of sinful Muster practices, which I propose to breakdown as follows:
(1) Music
(2) Drinking of alcohol
(3) Utes
(4) Fornication
(5) Relations with animals
With our hearts filled with the Lord, let us now address each of these in turn:
(1) Music, as we all know, is of Satan. The King James Version of the bible makes this very clear, as when the Lord attributes to Satan “the workmanship of … tabrets and of … pipes” (Ezek 28:13). The elision of this phrase from more contemporary translations of the bible suggests the extent to which modern humankind, and even Christendom, is enthralled by radio, MTV, and the I-Pod. An all too convenient exclusion, non?
Note 1: The I-Pod is the latest, and certainly end-times,
development in this respect – i.e. when music becomes
simply about I/me.
Note 2: The teachings of the so-called Church of Satan,
for instance, espouse individualism and self-indulgence;
also the essence of late-stage (end-times) capitalism, of
which the I-Pod must be seen as an integral part.
Note 3: You are all damned on this account.
(2) As Scripture attests, the righteous Christian tolerates alcohol whilst abhorring drunkenness. The worship and excessive imbibing of Bundaberg Rum (henceforth “Bundy”) will aid their cause no more than excessive supping on the Holy communion wine. Bundy is a sin against God; a drink that leads to sin and the consequences of sin: syphilis, gonorrhea, and death (“You and your sons are not to drink wine or other fermented drink whenever you go into the Tent of Meeting, or you will die. This is a lasting ordinance for the generations to come” [Lev 10:9]).
(3) Utility vehicles (henceforth “utes”) are the closest end-times equivalent to the chariot, the traditional vehicle of God. This suggests either of two things: one, that the ute is of God; or two, that the ute is built in mockery of all that is of God. Only one or two example are needed to prove that the latter is in fact the case (see note 4, image 1; and, in particular, image 2). Of further note here is the traditional Hebrew secrecy surrounding the first chapter of Ezekiel, known as the Merkabah (the chariot). Rabbis who pursued this forbidden text were characteristically “driven” to death, madness, or heresy. Need we expend more words in the denunciation of this utile sin?
Note 4:
http://www.citymuster.com.au/Photos/2008/Ash/IMG_3054.jpg;
(4) “Fornication” refers to sex outside of the legal and Holy union of man and woman (1 Cor 6:18-20). There will be many at City Muster who respect the sanctity of this bond. Others, inflamed by unbecoming passions, will willingly degrade themselves, seeking exemption from this immortal law. Adulterers and fornicators beware, for the spirit-storm is coming (Ezek 1:4) to wipe away your sins. Unrepentant sinners shall likewise be blown away, like chaff in the wind (Ps 1:4).
(5) Fornication, as we have seen, refers to extra-marital sex, where “marriage” refers to the union of man and woman only. Yet the notion of fornication is surely wider than the mere bodily or even spiritual abrogation by humans of such sacred bonds. Intoxicated by the Devilry of music and wine, attendees of the City Muster surely succumb to far less Holy trysts; to such animal lusts that the object of such lusts becomes the animals, the bush-pigs, with which they so frequently associate. Scripture is particularly forceful on this point: (Ex 22:19; Lev 18:23; Lev 20:15-16).
Finally, I have worried deeply for you all – for your Eternal Salvation – on the basis of your constant and at times unseemly mockery. However, I once again find counsel in Scripture, which tells us that the prophet Elijah mocked Baal and his worshipers (1 Kings 18:27). So let us all be as Elijah, mocking the believers, unto the end of days.
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The rego for the first ute is ATREYU. Sounds Mayan. And the Mayans were rather keen on human sacrifice.
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The Mayans were indeed 666ers of the highest order, yet ATREYU, while being a reference to either The Never Ending Story or the similarly name screamo band, is surely a punning reference to the ute’s characteristic tray, with U for ute (or you) appended to it.
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Utile sin? – beautiful NF#1
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Praise not me but the Holy Spirit who spoke through me. Actually, on waking in a less ecstatic frame of mind, I can’t believe anyone read that far. However, I also ask whether a ute (or chariot) was involved in the Genesis 30 story where Leah gives Rachel a root.
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Leah and Rachel are an item now? I had no idea!
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Concern yeself not with bushpigs.
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did anyone see Ben Elton on Stateline last night?
he has broken his media silence to promote a Freo charity for homelessness (which of course, according toe Brer Abbott, is a lifestyle choice)
he flipped me to Not Worst
apart from the musicals, of course
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He is a groovy guy skink, agreed.
Gimme Shelter was probably the charity you are referring to.
In honour of our rooting rural friends here’s some old Elton.
thttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ_f9nO3zwIo.
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bugger link broke.
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I think your typing fists added a t at the beginning.
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try again then
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Bah does this mean if Tim switched from saving dugongs to saving the homeless you would flip as well? Irrational hatred is a fickle thing for some.
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He might as well.
It’s common knowledge. The dugongs are fucked.
Pfortner has them in his (?) sights…
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yes, but he’d have to cut off the pony tail as well
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Well thank god I didn’t see it. Would he shit me less supporting charity? Probably not. Probably saw himself in irrational hatreds and thought he better improve the image.
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I’m waiting for the celebrity who comes out and says they oppose charity on principle. Them I would follow. (only not including politicians as that would mean Tony Abbott.
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I oppose charity for all issues that should be the responsibility of the government
not only on political and ethical grounds, but also because I am a tightwad.
this is why I disagree with sainthood being conferred on Mary Mackillop, rather than Shane Warne. What was the Gatting ball if it wasn’t a miracle?
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Praise the lord, someone else feels that way skink. I’m getting fed up with people sticking their hands out for cash everytime I visit the supermarket. I pay taxes people. Fuck off.
Though I do admit to giving in with kids cancer stalls. I thrust as much as I can into their tins before scurrying off in tears. Stupid mummy hormones.
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I agree on all that and I too shazza succumb to magical thinking on kids’ illnesses. “If I don’t hand over a dollar, I’ll make something bad happen to my kids.”
Interestingly, given that this thread is about bumpkins, dicussion of Belton has led us to a topic brushed upon in the other monster of bumpkin thread Inseminators 09, where the bumpkins defended the poster on the basis that the event raised funds for charity, the charities being ag schools and local shires.
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and if we are having an uncharitable whinge…
I hate those bastards from the SIDS charity that always ring me at home at the exact moment that I have put my fork into my dinner.
last year the phone rang during dinner and someone with a heavy indian accent started talking without introduction
I told him we don’t accept cold calls on our silent home number and hung up.
He rang back. I told him I wasn’t interested in whatever he was selling and hung up.
he rang back. I told him to fuck off and put the phone down
he rang back again: “please, this is Gogo’s Curry House ringing to confirm your party booking for your wife’s birthday…”
oops
try the lamb chops, they’re bloody marvellous.
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I got tired of donating to worthy causes and then having my donation come back to me in the form of begging letters. FOYC, I didn’t pull that $20 out of my wallet so you could buy A4 and envelopes.
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for me it’s dreadlocked students getting paid to solicit for wildlife. THAT’S ANIMAL MONEY YOU PASTY FUCKS
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I’m not too sure if you’re taking the piss here. “Fuck the homeless, let them die. I think they’re the governments responsibility” Seems harsh – even for you.
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CB One, it’s a bit of a stretch to claim I said ‘fuck the homeless, let them die’. I said I am fed up with being pestered by charities when I’m going about my daily business.
Having said that, I do give money that goes towards support and feeding of homeless people, via taxes.
I spent many years working with the disenfranchised, homeless and mentally ill. So am well aware of the complex issues surrounding homelessness. And would never say ‘let them die’.
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I was intrigued by the “responsibility of the government” reason for not giving to charity, as I was struggling to think of a charity that couldn’t be argued as a short-coming of government.
Probably a bit harsh on my point, but I do like making up quotes and attributing them to other people.
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sure you do, just like HITLER!
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Eddie Hitler?
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His sister Enid.
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Isn’t it the responsibility of government to look after it’s citizens? Isn’t that why we pay tax, so the gov. has the cash to build hospitals, roads, schools, have a welfare safety net, homeless shelters etc etc?
It was a bit harsh, the sting in the tail was “even for you”. Ouch!
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I did notice Brer Abbott say yesterday in Parliament that McKillop ‘understood that the poor were not the responsibility of the government and so just rolled up her sleeves and got on with it’
Tony is clearly happy for Australia to return to a period where there was no state care, no public health system and no government schools.
Forwards to the nineteenth century
I think he wants to make Mary the Patron Saint of Private Outsourcing of Government Services
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whoops! It was originally directed to skink – it was his original message I replied to. Must have hit the wrong message reply. You’re nothing but niceness shazza. That skink though…;-)
What governments are supposed to do and what they actually do are two different things, I think. And there is never enough money for everyone. What happens then? People do volunteer work and donate to charities in an effort to pick up the slack. It’s a personal thing in the end. I don’t really want to beef about it – was just curious.
Godwin’s Law in 5 steps. I guess this thread is dead…. I need to pick up my game and get it down to 1.
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hey, I don’t think I said ‘fuck the homeless’ either
I am just of the opinion, as Abbott showed yesterday, that charity allows the government to shirk its responsibilities where the old, sick, and disadvantaged are concerned.
The government doesn’t seem to have any problem in middle class welfare such as baby bonuses, private health fund rebates and subsidies for private schools.
socialism for the middle classes, capitalism for the poor.
I once climbed the three highest mountains in Britain within24 hours in aid of a brain injury charity that helped my sister, don’t don’t get all Chong on me about charity.
harumph
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It’s an interesting question CB1. Something I grapple with. AS Iv’e also come to think some welfare agencies perpetuate the very problem they are claiming to alleviate.
Anyway as you say, it’s a personal thing.
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no doubt he did. They all change their ways when faced with the collective sanctimony of Twop
I heard that Barra went on a diet and Nurry had the Cntl-V keys removed from his keyboard
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From 720’s Facebook page – be afraid – VERY afraid.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/720-ABC-Perth-Afternoons/248104332750?ref=mf
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I am not sure which is worst, that ABC show or Howard Sattler’s “Mad As Hell Monday”.
Caller: “Errr Howard, there is a park in our street and it is watered every day”.
Sattler: “Is it?”
Caller “Yes, it is”
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Sparkling dialogue. No wonder he’s had such a glittering career.
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