It’s very hard to know what to make of this. The very spot where Tim Winton had been sucked out of his sandals, now sports a discarded pair of undies. Can there be another Stargate in Nedlands? Is Lindy Rosenwax the new portal to teh rapture? This is not the first incident of “blown” undies we’ve had, but perhaps more disturbing is that WAtching, who didn’t send in the original post, happened to trawl back through Nedlands looking for…what? What was he doing? Why was he there? What was he expecting? Did he hope to be sucked off too, to some distant shoe universe? Whoa. I’m having difficulty with this one. 
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The Worst of Perth 
“Did he hope to be sucked off too…?”
Well that’s my working theory.
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Of course I didn’t….
Here’s another angle…
They may still be there Western Worsters…
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how did they get all rolled up like that? What’s the story?
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I had some business nearby and I know the corner and the worst.
So you can imagine my surprise and delight as I drove up.
Parked the car ran up and took photos, giggling. Gave them a poke with my shoe just to see what they were.
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you were wearing safety boots weren’t you?
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‘Another quiet night. Millie stalled for a moment, the mesmeric blue shopfront holding her in its thrall, like a dhufish in a rip. Phwoar, she thought, Lindy Rosenwax. That really is something. How far they’d all come. She remembered how it used to be – the proud old days sweltering under the summer sun, those Nedlands children running with abandon, heedlessly fartarsing around the old grocer’s store. Chico, that had been his name. She remembered him fondly, his soft, wizened hands, the sweet scent of olives and brandy. Then, in a moment, the reverie was broken, interrupted by the shrill hiss of a GasBus hurtling past. Millie started. Something was wrong. Her ankles! She stared down at her blue undies, lying wrinkled on the filthy pavement like some dessicated bluebottle on the sand. What the – she flailed at the back of her skirt. Her bum – it was missing!’
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That is brilliant.
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wintoning?
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count on it.
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Do I also detect some Gleitzman in there?
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magic realism ?
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god, i hope not- but could be! anyway, at the end of the day when all’s said and done, what’s the fundamental difference I ask you.
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I could read Pfortner’s wintoning all day.
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One night in November, another that had somehow become morning while she sat there, Georgie Jutland looked up to see Russell Woolf furiously mounting the kerb outside her window.
Only a moment before she’d been perusing photos of the Curtin FM crew online, but she was bumped by the server and was overtaken by such a silly rush of anger that she had to wonder what was happening to her.
She had traipsed through the Uffizi without any more attention than a footsore tourist. She’d stared at a live camera image of a mall in the city of Perth, been to the Ben Elton fan club of Brazil, seen Francis Drake’s chamberpot in the Tower of London and stumbled upon a chat group for world citizens who yearned to knob Jenny Satan. The sight of the jovial weatherman pounding the footpath outside left her similarly unmoved.
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… and yet somewhere within her a small but frantic feeling, like a blowfly trapped in a jar, began to tickle against her hitherto hardened heart.
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I have heard the burgers at Flipside are good enough to make you want to ‘mount the kerb’.
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And yet not quite good enough to knob Jenny Satan? Interesting.
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should i have photographed jenny satan clothes shopping at target morley?
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If you have to ask, you should have.
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Brad would…
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Comn WAtching, that lousy burnt out scooter and octopi is beating your brilliant panty worst in the comments count.
Are you just going to sit there and let some newcomer steal your Wintonesque thunder?
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Absolutely.
I love the Pfortnering.
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They’re ok. Better than mounting the kerb as part of a long line of knobs on Newcastle St waiting to get into Jus Burger.
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OH YEE O’LL HEV THE WAGYOO THANKS! YEE! WAGYU! WITH A AAARRM CHIPS AND VINEGAR CONFIT. CHEERS CUNT
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Shouldn’t that be Jizz Burger?
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You could ask for the jizz jus. Maybe that’s what you get when you piss the chef off.
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If there is a chance (no matter how small) of being sucked off, can you please post the address of this store?
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31 Hampden Rd nedlands
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Yes!
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They appear to be girls’ undies. I think it’s far more likely for a woman to get pleasured outside Lindy Rosenwax.
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I’d like to see that happen!
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I think this is staged
WAtching is now prowling the streets of Perth, camera in hand, pockets bulging with soiled underwear, visiting the site of old Worsts and garlanding them with grundies.
next it will be a photo of the Arse Scratcher with knickers on his head.
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Could he engineer Mark McGowan scratching his ring?
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Can I say that I am offended by what you are implying.
Perth IS the Nexus of Worst.
Like it needs my help….
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amazing! i wonder what delightful garment will be there NEXT week!?
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Methinks the panties are just a bit too convenient.
Could this be a “staged worst?
Just saying, thats all.
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even if it is fake, web randoms gathering to discard clothing at the foot of Lindy Rosenwax is a pretty fucking cool phenomenon, and one that should be encouraged.
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There’s nothing fake here Pforts ; it merely reflects on the dire situation facing Nedlands underwear. It appears the Sargasso sea of missing Northbridge underwear has moved location.
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“Could this be a “staged worst?”
That’s a serious charge Richrdbl and skink. I don’t think WAtching should take this lying down.
I propose a duel.
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kung fu rugby rules?
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One doesn’t propose duels on TWOP.
They just happen spontaneously, often without rhyme, reason nor rationale.
Mispelled (sic) words, vague references, misrepresented comments are all just sulphur laden matches striked upon dry desert tinder.
Simmering emotions on this site, shallower than a Winton premise, are ever lurking just below the surface of discontent
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Striked. Nice one.
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Thanks, copywrited BTW but you can use it.
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I should have thought to copy write “quasi feminist” but it appears to have become common usage and I cannot no longer claim the priority date.
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I assure you Richarbl, you have copy written “quasi feminist” already.
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I would have writ ..Shimmering emotions on this site …
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shite?
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shite emotions?
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shimmering shite?
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No. Simmering.
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Probably just me, but this piece of “news”, with its execrable, mystifying headline, does seem obscurely connected with our mystery underwear.
http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/swimming-doctor-continues-saline-love-affair-20100204-nf9x.html
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My guess is that instead of employing subs WAT are using monkeys to type in random headlines.
Or possibly Tim Winton.
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Well Shreiking, we are very clever and quite possibly more talented than some of the peeps working at WAT so it is completely plausible.
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Perhaps these were discarded when the owner saw a particularly nice thong in the window?
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they look like sandals to me…
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Dear P Nurry
Sometime in the next few weeks, a group of adult perverts intend taking four pairs of soiled panties to a Hampton Rd shop and beating off their sticks violently enough to break the skin along the shaft of their penises.
One of the perverts, who also likes to drive stolen cars through Allen Park, took the pants from a girlfriend of the same age. The others were onlookers.
Last week, members of their families living in Swanborne (yes, it is a little close to home, which just adds to the poignancy of my story) told the local rag that the perverts would face payback – a surburban punishment involving the confiscation of porno DVDs, the cancellation of their subscriptions to Hustler magazine and the beating of their blow up dolls with nulla nullas.
Several family members said the beatings would be severe enough that the perverts would probably have to go out and buy new rubber girls.
The criminal law in Australia for many years has struggled to accommodate the concept of this kind of punishment within the panties (errr, I mean penalties) handed down by the court.
In some cases, randy old judges with a penchant for panty sniffing have cut sentences – usually of male perverts – because of the prospect of being kept out of porno shop wanking booths by angry managers.
But the situation facing the four perverts pushes the use of payback in a modern society over the edge of acceptability.
Would we allow this to happen to four guys with sandal fetishes? Would we sit back and accept that their families had the right to soften their boners by removing the stimuli?
SECTION MISSING
So who is prepared to draw a line in the sand over these four perverts and say we won’t stand by while they are deprived of their fun?
What of those academics and intellectuals who have much to say about the harmlessness of pantie abuse and the need not to protect them from squirts of semen? Will they stand up for these perverts?
Yesterday I asked a heap of people what their thoughts were on perverts and panty sniffing. They included Patti Chong, Tim Winton, Mike Ward, Max Kaye, Norm Marlborough and Colin Barnett.
Their responses will be the subject of a later article.
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Taking Beags’ perspective for granted I see… can’t wait to hear the responses though.
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I thought Troy Buswell was your man on the ground for all things sniffy.
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snap shaz
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I’m not worthy
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Hmmm. I always wondered how David Attenborough was always on the spot with a camera when an army of ants chomped through a monkey carcase or a bat shat on a cat.
Did he, you know, help the monkey to get in the way of the ants?
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The staging of random soiled panties i can understand but
Screw you David Attenborough!
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Could the undies have anything to do with the rather disturning number of car-humping incidents lovingly documented by munkipants over at his blog?
http://theincrediblyrudelogophile.blogspot.com/
There must be a relationship somewhere.
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I guess she’s too rude to be a woman.
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Better not tell SW about Ms Maddox’s classy act, he may faint dead away.
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Que?
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Check out monkeypants site again.
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I would, but I’m afraid I’ll be confronted with reports of gratuitous sex acts with rose bushes.
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Fair enough.
He’s a she. You were copping a femmo bashing.
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Thanks Shazza. Consioder me bashed and duly chastened.
Let me just say I’m pretty impressed with your avatar.
And poor lisa, it’s all true. We are beasts. As it is my goal in life is to snort blow with Kate Moss.
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You are back in my good books now SW.
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No defensive retorts of ‘quasi feminist’, I like your style shreiking.
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Quasi feminism?
http://theartofbeingfeminine.blogspot.com/
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Good lordy Natalia Fan, I only saw your link this minute and must say I’m not sure what to think. Is it satire?
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That website Natalia. WTF?
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it’s wayyy to extensive for satire… good god.
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I recon the blogger is a drag queen.
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Not sure if this reply is going to slot in at the right spot, but in answer to your questions, “The Art of Being Feminine” is not a satire. The same blogger also has “Jesus is Your Saviour”. Last night my quasi-feminist ex was pleased to receive an email from TAOBF, asking her confirm her interest in receiving regular updates. Suspecting me, not unfairly, she retorted: “The art of being feminine sisterhood? Get fucked!”
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Well it has certainly shown me the error of my ways. There I was thinking I was all woman. I had no idea.
Can I just take this moment to make my humble apologies to any men, or women, I may have offended during my year on TWoP. It’s all been most un- ladylike. Thankyou all for indulging me so graciously while I bumbled my way along.
Perhaps I shall vote Tony Abbott at the next election. He seems to know a lot about ladies.
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I’m sure all can be forgiven if you begin to focus more on keeping “him” happy, Shaz, as the blog suggests.
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Bloody hell, they don’t make it easy do they?
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Nothing easier, believe me.
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Just start to think of most men as like Two and a Half Men.
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Thanks, shaz. Now would you please get your tush off the bench and your head in the sink.
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i am actually a gay man trapped in a womans body.
that way i can cover all the bases.
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Damn! My money was on you being a hermaphrodite, another two bucks I owe skink
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no no no richierich – that’s Lady Gaga/Alannah MacTiernan remember?
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Lannie McTrannie ?
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I’m just curious if other cities seem to have the same issue with libertine undies meandering their way through the suburbs with such prolificness.
I seem to remember than Bunbury had it’s fair share of free range underwear strewn along the pavements and in parks.
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CB, I took a shot of some meandering undies in Hilton many moons ago. Then decided against sending in the shot to TWoP as it seemed so pedestrian. Perhaps you are right.
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This one did have the extra frisson coming from its location.
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yes this was a beauty.
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Lovely compliment of blue colours by the way.
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Hey shazz, OT but you live down Freo way. Do you have any theories on the continuous wandering Aboriginal street arguement?
As far as I can make out, it has something to do with what Aunty Pam said to Aunty Helen about forty odd years ago.
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I don’t tend to pay a lot of attention SW. Some of the people I think you are referring to used to be my clients. I tend to head in another direction when i see them out and about.
But yes it’s quite possibily a grog, fogged, family feud. Depends on whether youre referring to the older peeps, or the younger.
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And the Dockers aren’t helping either.
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Never do LA, never do.
Found a site called Perth Norg and this is what they had to say.
Posted 748 days, 3 hours ago by pc
Comments (10)
The West Australian reported this week that Fremantle Dockers coach Mark Harvey would not tolerate the ill-discipline and dirty deeds committed by his players in previous seasons.
The Fremantle Dockers were the most reported team in AFL in 2007 by a clear margin of more than 50% over the second most reported team (Collingwood). In 2007, 26 players were reported and 24 were found guilty. Players were suspended for a total of 17 matches and fines of $17,100 imposed.
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Likewise shazza. In fact these days I try and avoid going into Freo whenever possible. It’s bogan hell.
Or I should say bogan heaven.
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The elites are working on rectifying that SW.
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Bwahahahahaha!!!
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