This is Perth Airport. At Perth Airport it is considered quite natural that a box previously containing a toilet should be sitting outside the international terminal, just in case our overseas guests hadn’t got the message before clearing customs. Just be grateful it’s not a picture of some bloke parking his breakfast on the runway. What a perfect Perth worst, trivial yet compelling. Signifying nothing and yet everything. No-one but a TWOP aficionado would have taken this. It is considered to be Australia’s crappiest airport. I did once see a mobile turnip harvester parked outside Dalian Airport in northern China, ready to take someone home at 1kph, but this is more poignant. Surely this be bathos? And a lovely set of photos too fromMatt. Caroma eh? I was born a Lesmurdie man…
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The Worst of Perth 
On disembarking, Mrs Bento and I were greeted with: “Welcome to the airport of the damned”, by a trolley fella.
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when i flew back last year and was waiting around for my lift, i sent a text to friends letting them know that i had possibly discovered the “bogan” capital of the western world at the perth airport.
people flying up to the mines maybe? it was looking spectacularly feral around the checkin counters.
not like the old days where one donned ones sunday best for the adventure of a flight……… check shirts, stubbies and thongs.
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Most certainly explains about 50% of the bogans you saw mp. Sundays are surely the worst day to fly from Perth as the miners are heading back. The Qantas Club lounge is full of them.
As for the box. How embarrassing.
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As an aside, last time we were there, the functional neon said:
Pert omet c
Nuff said, really.
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When I took the photos there was also a car full of bogans getting pissed in an old Datsun. Their cries of “Skol, Skol, Skol Whoo!” were wafting across the carpark as dawn broke. It’s nice when your friends come along to see you off, isn’t it?
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lovable larrikins ?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larrikinism
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I liked them and thought they added to the atmosphere. I salute them for binge drinking so early in the morning in an unusual location.
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the best in ages
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It’s pretty obvious what has happened here.
Someone has spent their whole Bali holiday dragging that thing around in a sealed duty free bag. When they finally burst through customs at our end the excitement was just too much. They had to open it there and then to play with it. I had the same thing with a ghetto blaster back in ’85.
As for the photos- yes TLA- they are beautiful.
The rubbish bin, the uncomprimising fence in the background, the cracks in the retaining wall and the bore water stains…
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makes perfect sense WAtching.
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and palm trees.. not quite those mops on poles but three of them is enough.
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The cracks in the retaining walls suggest that even the palms want out.
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If only the word “Perth” weren’t obscured by the palm tr…
Actually no, that shot is fucking perfect.
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Very, very good. I shat myself laughing…
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I always click on your link Peter hoping one day you’ll have a post newer than 2 years old.
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Why would he bother TLA?
Everyone knows you have the market cornered.
What , with your army of operatives and grog sponsor and all that…
BTW: Should be some more Worsts coming through from the Nagoya office in coming weeks.
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Ask them to get out the phone book and see if there are any Nagoya piss factories who want to launch an ice cold Saki here.
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Congrats Word Salad, that is an absolute worst!
I suppose at the Domestic terminal there is a steaming turd, under a palm tree.
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Am I the only one old enough here to remember the days when you’d have to drive out to the ‘international’ airport to get a drink after midnight?
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I remember there was the only 24 hr servo out there. I also remember there were black swans in a pond near the entrance.
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Them swans are long gone. Now we have at least three 24 hour servos.
You know, I kinda miss the thrill of the hunt looking for a roster servo – walking that fine line between running out of petrol and taking a punt on what you think will be open, only to have your hopes dashed when you read the sign in the window, ‘Your nearest roster station is in Lesmurdie.’
Did you get my Jackadder Lake pics – speaking of toilets?
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I’ve actally got via Steve Gordon, some audio of 6PR on New Years Eve 1968 where they announce where the Roster Stations were.
If Steve is reading this – I hope he features this on The way we were and dedicate to the TWOP :-)
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Frank, you’ve provided us with some very strange audio and video footage over the last year. But I think you are going to struggle to find anything stranger, but also less interesting, than the 1968 New Year’s reading of the petrol roster.
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It IS very anorak
a great drinking game was to ring the roster line and scull every time she said “diesel available”
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I think you all may be about to give me shit for being under 23, but what is a roster station?
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back in the day when there was a pretrol bowser at every mechanics workshop, the petrol industry had mandatory minimum number of petrol stations stay open so junkies had something to rob in the days before cctv
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When the roster system was abandoned in 1991, the fuel industry collapsed as predicted, which is why the oil companies don’t make any money any more, and you don’t see any petrol stations anywhere.
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Back in the olden days only certain petrol stations opened on weekends. They were all on a roster system. So you had to find out who would be open before heading out to fill up.
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Well that sounds like mighty fun
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you have no idea of the excitement of rolling up to a closed servo, hoping they had the roster chart in their window, and then hoping you had enough petrol to actually get to the roster.
yoof of today, they don’t know they’re born.
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You’re right, I have missed out big time. I didn’t even know there were petrol stations before 1987. I guess I just assumed everyone ran their cars with their feet, like the Flintstones
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actually claireee, some of my povo friends from uni probably did:)
i know a few of them had no floor in the front of their car, got stoned, drove through the Dogswamp carpark over a speed hump and the car split in half.
ah, they were the days……
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You’re very close, Claireee. In fact, this is how everyone got around before 1987.
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great link snuff:) brilliant.
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Only til the Lone Star opened cookster.
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Where was the Lone Star???
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In North Perth. It was the early opener, demolished to make way for the Tunnel. The scene of legendary shenanigans.
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indeed it was shazza, even my somewhat blurry memory can recall several drunken happenings there.
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As everyone’s noted, the Lone Star was a fantastic dive. I saw some great gigs there, but I know the best times there I have no recollection of whatsoever.
The corner of Beaufort and Newcastle was a reveller’s perfect storm at the end of a Saturday night in the early to mid 80s. I’d finish work at the Parrot at 3:30, then head down to the Equator, in the old William of Orange Hall on Beaufort. Ken Shaw ran a wilfully illegal after-hours club upstairs there for a while named Prohibition. It cranked up about 3am, and went well into the next morning, at which point we’d stagger or crawl across the road to the Lone Star early opener. The bonus was being able to check out the weird shell shop on the way, and the park across the road was perfect for a lie down, with or without company.
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aaahhh, glory days snuff, glory days……….
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the weird shell shop – any photos going?
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There was some discussion of this enigmatic vanished worst here, curious, including a Google streetview of the shop, albeit sans the stuffed mongoose and cobras, electric typewriters and seashells. There must have been a knockshop upstairs.
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thanks for some golden memories snuff.
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north-west corner of beaufort and newcastle, now occupied by apartments and a coles.
i remember it opening at 6am, only for the hard core.
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I remember it well
I think I saw Ed Kuepper there several times
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saw The Clouds there just a few weeks before it was demolished. I don’t remember that night well at all
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I too saw the Clouds at the Lone Star.
if you were the guy I accidentally headbutted in the mosh, then sorry
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What years are we talking here?
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Pre tunnel, for many, many years. It was a very old building (for perth) and I think was a mens accommodation/hotel back in the olden (maybe goldrush??) days.
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nah not me, i found it amusing to mosh to The Clouds at the time, now it seems ludicrous
BTW I have given the Gosnells 6110 t-shirt to the local ALP MP chris T
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excellent
I trust he wears it without irony
I also gave up moshing many years ago, after an incident when my earring got caught in the mohair shirt of a very large punk, and I was forced to pogo around next to him until the end of the song, and then explain why I was resting my head on his shoulder.
I gave up wearing jewellery at about the same time
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The visual image is hilarious.
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I know he was doorknocking in the Federal seat of Hasluck in Gozzie with Sharryn Jackson, and got lots of positive comments.
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I think The Railway, knocked down ilegally by Mr She-Ra used to open at 6am for the flagon set.
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I have to admit I remember those adventures, Cookster. I even seem to recall it was called The Orbit Inn. I also loved the swans, TLA. Flying out of Perth in those days was like a trip to the moon and the zoo all rolled into one.
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A-h-h-h!
I remember it well.
My introduction to Perth.
Pix from the days of real aviation; when aeroplanes had things called propellors that dragged the aircraft along rather than turbojets that got all pushy.
Things did get faster with the introduction of the jets, but I still feel that four slow screws was infinitely better than a few quick blow jobs.
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Ah, the Orbit Inn. We poured many people onto a plane from there, as my Mum used to say. It also contained superb item for Worst of Perth, now sadly vanished: IIRC, the entire southern interior wall was carpeted, with a massive photo of Perth, as seen from Kings Park, printed on it.
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They’re saving their six litres a day.
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Are passengers who’ve packed for Perth bowled over when they see this?
But when they note the lack of toilet paper do they remark, “Bummer”?
It all seems a bit half-assed to me.
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This scene strikes me as a perfect setting for some bush poetry, but my addled brain can’t get past the second line. Any help?
The cocky sat on the thunderbox,
Shaded by trees of palm,
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ragheads comin’ out the sliding doors
intent on doin’ Oz harm
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As long as he wiped with Sorbent Soft,
his arse would come to no harm.
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I will now be awaiting my free box of toilet paper Sorbent.
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Having dumped his heavy load,
Enveloped by a serene feeling of calm,
A scrunched wad of cottonelle at the ready,
It has to be scrunched coz if you fold that shit, your finger goes straight up your arse!
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I dont think Macca could have done better
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Waving to the tourists as they soared overhead,
And wiping with the other free arm.
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…rain to start the summer,
the bank’l take the farm
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an’ to that refrain a shot rang out
you’ll never take me farm…
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What a rich source of neglected worsts is the Airport. MY current favourite is the current temporary arrangement where you inexplicably have one lane of traffic coming in to drop off passengers. This results in a traffic jam.
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or worse as I experienced was ending up in a no-mans land between the taxi lane and the new pick up zone. My passengers had to climb over a wall with suit cases to reach me stranded in the middle.
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Pingback: Weekend Worstoff 85 « The Worst of Perth
Maybe it’s the new and green homeless shelter or economy class waiting area, toilet not included.
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