Looks like a reasonable consensus is Saturday the 28th November, early evening at The Brisbane Hotel for a celebration of a million TWOP views.
Also announcing a competition for who can get a screenshot closest to a million. (For those with PCs, to get a screenshot it is usually Shift+Prtscreen to copy it, and you can then paste it into an image program or even word. Prtscreen is up in the top right.) I’m guessing the million will be hit between Wednesday and Saturday.
The prize will be some kind of TWOP merchandise, which the winner can choose, such as this wonderful Mandurah Canals Tee.
The Worst of Perth 
have you sent a personal invitation to Patti Patti?
I’m not coming unless she is.
Patti, this is your big chance
handbags at three paces, to be filmed and sold to the Sunday Times.
and did anyone notice that ‘quincunx’ was one of the answers to the quiz in Teh West on the weekend?
It just goes to show the extent of the influence of this blog on the entire social fabric of this small fucking town.
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And I got one out of ten thanks to looking up quincunx after you suggested it.
I’m in Albany on the 28th, is the 10th December show still on?
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Yes it is.
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well well well, i have a friend who was visiting a friend last week and they were having an evening gathering and a guest there knew exactly who you were skink –
patti’s stalker according to them.
this was of course pooh poohed by said friend, however the guest in question insisted that you had heartlessly picked on patti who is by all accounts a fine human being and unworthy of such vitriole.
it’s a small world indeed. so by all accounts patti is a gem and you should all leave her well alone in her magnificence…….
so there, take that!
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stalker?
I always rather thought she escalated it.
as I have pointed out to Chong personally, the fact is that her editor has always known exactly who I am, and has spoken to me on the phone.
at any point he could have chosen to moderate my comments, or banned me altogether, as he did with Sattler’s blog, or Chong could have contacted me directly.
your friend who thinks she is a fine human being should perhaps talk to Cookster.
still, it’s nice to have fans
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Fantastic: I return from union business in Sydney that evening.
I will get the union Learjet to land on Perth Oval and sprint to the venue at about 9.30pm.
Will anyone still be there, or will they have been beaten up by bouncers/mugged by Patti/molested by garden gnomes and be in the East Perth lock-up/bottom of Hyde Park lake/RPH??
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You can visit me in my cubicle, as long as you’re careful not to stand on my fingers.
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Does your cublicle have a window, or a view? Is it a dull burgandy colour? Does it smell like cherry blossoms and cervical love juice?
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Are you a poet, perchance?
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No, just another bored advertising executive, wiling away her time imagining cubicles with far more ZAS than mine.
My cubicle (more of a triangucle, really, only has three sides) needs to get on the Zas Train to Zas Town.
I thought yours would be full of all things Zas and VAG and therefore, be a role-model for my pitiful workspace.
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Why would I do that? Are you a bastard boss?
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I was referring to my cubicle in the back of the bar, where I will no doubt be sprawled by the time you arrive.
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DFOC – there’s a good chance Shazza and I will still be there at that hour, based on previous experience. There is an equally good chance you will want to avoid us, if we’ve been there from bounce down.
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Perhaps DFOC can ensure he gets plenty of drinking in during the flight so he will be up to par on arrival at the Brisbane?
I’m assuming it will be first class all the way David, so Bollinger should do the trick.
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That depends on a few variables for me David.
V 1) Babysitters
V 2) What early evening actually means. Does it mean the same as late afternoon? Is that 5, 6 or 7pm?
V 3) If any A listers are in attendance. Indian or Russian, I don’t mind.
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I have a WAN do on that night :( Can i send a picture of my head on a mop to prop up in the corner?
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I’ll use Woogle image with safe search turned off to find a pic.
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Won’t work, according to Ze Voogle, I do not exist.
Mayhap, I shall send a giant donkey pinata for you to all have a crack at in my absence.
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Mayhap, cd, a few chukkas would be just the go.
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Yes, Teh TLA is still being tantalisingly vague.
Maybe it’s a Chinese thing – he doesn’t want to give offence by being too specific, in case some TWOPers can’t attend?
It’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma concreted in a riddle.
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Bugger – will be in Melbourne visiting Meccano and Golden1 et al.
We will raise a glass to you all.
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“Million Chong March” is t-shirt worthy.
Chong on!
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in an act of shameless ‘me-too-ism’ worthy of a federal politician, may I take this opportunity to launch my own small range of redbubble T-shirts.
wear one with pride and outrage your provincial dinner guests:
http://www.redbubble.com/people/skink1984/t-shirts/4066047-2-kiss-my-chongs
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it’s absolutely beautiful skink!
ordering one when i finish here for the brothers christmas present.
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Could have been a bit bigger I say.
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Awesome
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if they want big shouty text and vibrant colours, they can buy your shirts.
I thought I had copied you enough, and so offered something more discreet and refined, apart from the sentiment.
also check out the monorail shirt
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Ooh. Might get a Gosnells in light pink.
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What about ‘Don’t bogart the Chong’.
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I still don’t know what the kids mean by that.
I designed one with “Chong: crushed like a bug”, with her head being squashed under a big Python foot, but the resolution wasn’t good enough for a T-shirt
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Gosnells 6110 understated, noice
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Superb, skink!
And yours are cheaper than Teh TLA’s, too.
Why buy three of his when you can get four of yours?
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er… I forgot to change the price information to include a mark-up.
no matter
some of those shirts include a modest mark-up, and all profits will be donated to the Patti Chong Care Home for Chronic Self-Publicists
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Magnificent, skink.
Anyone know where I might find a picture of Sattler’s mum?
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Will Teh Outrage declare war on The West ? :-)
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/opinion/post/-/blog/garethparker/post/556/comment/1/
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I must say I do enjoy reading Gareth Parker articles.
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Thanks shazza, but Frank, why would Teh Outrage be teh outraged by my post? I made it pretty clear I reckon he and his colleagues are doing a bang-up job!
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and congratulations on inserting the word ‘vibrant’ three times.
if we cannot insert vibrancy into Perth, we can insert it into articles about Perth.
I long suspected that everyone at teh West eagerly devoured this blog, and now you have outed yourselves
‘quincunx’ was a dead giveaway
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I will scouring the rag for ‘ooshta’ this weekend. C’mon Gareth, you know you want to.
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As I said to TLA on Twitter, youse secretly love us – we know it – and we secretly love you too.
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I thought TWOP was blocked for Woogle users?
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The West and The Worst of Perth.
Star crossed lovers.
That Juliet balcony would have been the perfect venue Bento.
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nope, The West shits me to tears.
I hate it
it’s crap, and you know it
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Great Article. In the Western Suburbs, FOWF refers to more than just Asian migrants.
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B.T.
In the Western Suburbs FOWF, refers specifically to the bashed-up bogan.
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oops (freud would have a field day) cashed-up bogan.
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I think Western ‘burbs FOWF refers to any one that doesn’t have a perma-tan, and wrinkles.
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Or is it a reference to the anorexia so prevalent in those parts?
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Shit, fuck, bugger I will be in Indonesia between both of those dates.
Ah well, I hope youse all have a good time.
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Damn, the night after my work Christmas Party – two leave passes in one weekend is a tough ask. I might put on a TWOP-The Perth Files barefoot bowls day down at the North Freo Centre in December if I can’t make this gig. Anyone up for a lazy roll?
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Always!
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i’ll be in on that.
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How’s the drink prices?
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Rebarbative.
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I can get a good deal on drink prices, as Cookster Snr is behind the bar.
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i went to a fundraising bowls event at the north freo lawn bowls club recently and thoroughly enjoyed myself. a rather quaint pocket of freo.
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Million Chong March shirt:
http://www.redbubble.com/people/skink1984/t-shirts/4139729-3-million-chong-march
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you are a very brave evil genius! well done:)
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‘brave’?
is that ‘brave’ in a ‘Yes, Minister’ sort of way?
I don’t think I took the opportunity to thank you for defending my honour in absentia.
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could be!
and it wasn’t me it was my friend remember? and she was entirely happy to go to bat for you :)
if i am to avoid the rage from the patti fallout i must remain incognito skink. my chongs are not nearly as bold as yours.
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then thank your friend for me
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consider it done.
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Superb
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I like this one. So, I suspect, will La Chong.
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