I was seething with rage that I was only at number two for google searches on Perth vibrancy. Until I read the effort from the Chamber of Commerce and Industry. I’m sorry, I can’t compete with this. They win. There is page after page of this bilge. It goes beyond Future Perthing. Beyond Thunderdome. Beyond the Valley of The Dolls I think I’d rather have the moronic assertion by Tourism Minister Constable that The Hopman Cup IS Perth Vibrancy. I don’t know what vibrancy is, but they don’t got it. 9 forces of vibrancy sounds like Gramsci’s 3 spheres of hegemony. Hegemony by thought, hegemony by deed…
Note. Another attempt at Perth Vibrancy will also be attempted by Pica, who tell me that artists will be having a car boot sale at the home of Teh Vibrancy the Cultural Centre. Pica however just don’t GET vibrancy like the Chamber of Commerce. Who could argue with the following?
The discussion paper lays out a series of important measurements to assess the effectiveness of any policy recommendations. These economic measurements attempt to gauge changes in Perth’s vibrancy rather than directly measure it. These economic measures are followed by a discussion of the barriers that prohibit the development of Perth’s vibrancy, identified by both CCI’s policy agenda (which reflects the concerns and priorities of WA business), and through community input. Addressing the key policy challenges identified by CCI represents a critical way in which the vibrancy of Perth and liveability of the regions can be addressed. The community input, facilitated via a FORM Contemporary Craft and Design petition, involved almost 2,700 comments from individuals concerned about Perth’s vibrancy.1 Analysis of this petition identifies what the community perceives to be the major challenges, and some potential solutions, to Perth’s vibrancy. The major issue confronting regional WA is not vibrancy, but having sufficient access to infrastructure and services to establish sustainable liveable communities in the face of significant levels of investment in the resources sector…
The final section of this discussion paper considers the issue of vibrancy within the context of a framework (discussed in the Appendix to this discussion paper) and sets out a series of solutions to enable improvement in the vibrancy of Perth.
Establish vibrancy centres: Perth should actively encourage clusters of activity, or vibrancy centres…
The Worst of Perth 
dear TLA,
i might not be able to visit your site anymore as that CCI bollocks has forced me to consider gouging my own eyes out.
yours in complete lack of vibrancy
monkeypants xxx
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Well, at the very least the document will assist in the process of helping identify those people who need to be lined up against the wall when the revolution comes.
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Revolutions, by nature, are vibrant.
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Yes, it’s about ensuring vim, vigour and verve for all.
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vi·brant (vbrnt)
adj.
1.
a. Pulsing or throbbing with energy or activity:
the vibrant streets of a big city.
b. Vigorous, lively, and vital:
“a vibrant group that challenged the . . . system” (Philip Taubman).
vibran·cy, vibrance n.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/vibrancy
just to clear up any confusion
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Pulsing or THRUSTING is I think the correct definition.
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You’re confusing vibrant with vibrator.
Don’t beat yourself up. It’s a common mistake.
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No Tiang, many regular twoppers live in ivory dildoes and are subsequently well informed about all things vibrant and vibratory.
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It is also suspected that many regular twoppers own ivory dildoes.
Do excuse me for being anal about vibratory definitions.
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Ivory ‘dos are VERY steampunk
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you’re excused:
http://store.babeland.com/butt-vibrators
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I have no mortgage owing on mine.
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Ta MP. And going forward in the same source:
2. Exhibiting or characterized by rapid, rhythmic movement back and forth or to and fro; vibrating.
Sounds pretty obvious to me. Batteries included?
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I’m not sure on the batteries oldfart, but it sounds like the anal version to me:
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mp, you have made my day.
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Aah, yet another TWOP revelation on the creativity of the species.
Changes colour too! Optic fibres perhaps for two-way vibrancy viewing? If no batteries, can’t imagine what the energy source might be mp.
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Many thanks mp, I now have the wife’s Xmas present sorted!
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be sure to have her send me a thank you email :)
http://glennmcanally.com/sarcastic/createfonts.htm
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Speaking of throbbing, oh never mind.
All this wank speak reminds me of my favourite moments at work:http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/
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fuck
http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/
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vibe rant – a verbose and angry ivory dildo?
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i drive vibrantly or is it just the car needing a wheel balance?
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I vibrant and I vote.
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I vote vibrantly….. but only with the pencil provided at the polling booths.
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Most readers will be unaware the official unit of measurement of vibrancy is the Tapas (Tp). A Tp is defined as:
Total length of laneway, multiplied by number of small bars, divided by the diameter of the city’s ferris wheel plus the area in m2 of the city’s public piazza.
It is expressed as a ratio in terms of comparibility to Melbourne. Eg: Wolf Lane is a 0.7Tp locality. Wright Street, Belmont is a 0.0001Tp locality. Federation Square is a 1Tp locality.
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at least Melbourne’s ferris wheel had the good sense to die of embarrassment before it really got started. That and a heat wave.
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when did the Tapas replace the Latte as the official unit of vibrancy?
confound that blasted metric system
I blame the Europeans
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i believe that the latte is the unit of revitalization.
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Yes, but they convert. I believe 1 Tapas = 3.14 Lattes.
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Depending on how far back you want to go Ljuke. Prior to the 90’s it was –
4 nori rolls = 1 cappucino.
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I believe that the Nori Roll went the same way as the Dim Sum, it was greatly devalued during the Asian Vibrancy Crisis of the late nineties.
similarly, once the Italians joined the Single European Vibrancy system both the Latte and the Cappucino fell from usage at the same time that pavement tables were considered passe’
Spanish units are similarly being put under pressure by the Spanish joining the European System, such that the Albindingas is now virtually worthless.
I am investing all my spare vibrancy in gourmet burgers.
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Yes. The currency of the near future,
2 gourmet burgers = 1 sparkling Shiraz.
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Very sure the fixed-gear bicycle standard has remained a solid hedge against the fructuations of the nori-latte index.
The FGBS has surged recently even despite Miranda Devine SMH anti-lycra trolls
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The value of FGBS will drop as soon as Stencil Art takes a hit with increased fines for possessing spray paint. Although it might rally slightly if tight pants and retro Le Specs stay hip.
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The smart investors are transferring their FGBS into Pabst Blue Ribbons. The PBR is the Tiger Vibrancy Economy of 2010, you mark my words.
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PBR is in Australia? Then the terrorists have surely won.
And by terrorists, I mean hipsters.
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the choice of the descerning modern drunkard.
is it available in Perth yet?
it may account for the distinct lack of vibrancy.
I suspect that PBR may be as fleetingly hip as the great Red Stripe bubble of 1989
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I think you’ll find it was Beaujolais in 1989.
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I spent most of 1989 smoking Kent cigarettes and drinking Red Stripe.
I was working hard to be hip, but was sadly undermined by my haircut, and a rather tragic double breasted denim jacket
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1989 – I was hanging out at F. Scotts with jockeys. And although when at the Ascot we drank bubbly, and at the club, whatever was going. On a night in it was Beaujolais.
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Blimey. I spent most of 1989 eating Count Choculas and drinking Passiona.
Cue Rolly, who was probably already having his food mashed by the the end of the 80s.
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hanging out with jockeys?
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I hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing that before. Thankyou.
Jockeys….ahh forget it, bunch of cunts.
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magic video skink! especially loving the vibrant sound effects :)
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From such lofty heights, to think you were the mixologist behind Shazza’s Student Screwdriver – Buronga Ridge Moselle, a splash of orange juice, and a dash of generic soda water. Good times, good times.
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It takes a well trained palate to come up with that heady mix.
Though I think it was more likely to to be Orange drink than juice.
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i remember the fruity lexia cask was a staple back in the day of student deroism.
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ours was Passion Pop. One bottle of Passion Pop was $4.00 and guaranteed to vibratise up your evening.
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Greens Ginger wine, however, has never gone out of fashion…
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from a man wearing a flannel check shirt i’m not sure that’s any sort of recommendation.
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True, but it doesn’t have vibrant currancy, or should that be curranty, not being a proper wine.
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Haven’t seen PBR anywhere in Vibrancy HQ yet, but I predict it will be the zeitgeist defining beverage for a heady fortnight in March 2010. More akin to the Subzero boom of 1994 than the Red Stripe debacle.
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whatever happened the Moscow Mule frenzy of 2001?
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It suffered the same fate as the Illusion outbreak of 1993.
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has that jagermeister fad gone away yet?
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What about the West Coast Cooler phenomenon of 86?
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i was a very willing [1st year broke uni student] participant in that one and the casks of peach cooler mixed with vodka. very messy indeed.
thank god i had a job at liquorland:)
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Supplanted by the far more sophisticated Vick’s Inhaler and Chupa Chup hegemony which set in circa 1989.
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what were they doing with the vicks inhaler bento?
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Assuming I’m not missing some clever innuendo (never a safe assumption here, and particularly with you, mp), there was a school of thought in the early days of ecstasy culture that Vicks enhanced the rush.
Me, I was always more inclined just to have 2 more pills, and not look like a twat. Well, except for the gurning.
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no more room at the bottom:
it was a serious question so thanks bento.
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I believe you’ll find the value of a tapas or number thereof undergoes an exponential increase when modulated against the Burlesque Index Graph (BIG).
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Wont they need a permit for those vibrancy clusters?
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No no, the government will declare that tourism precincts can host vibrancy clusters without a permit. Until 9pm, anyway.
And since a vibrant place presumably attracts tourists, and is therefore a tourism precinct, if you establish a vibrancy cluster in a non-tourism precinct, it becomes vibrant by definition, therefore is a tourism precinct, and subsequently the shops can open later.
Barnett’s secret plan: shopping hours by stealth vibrancy.
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stealth vibrancy?
is that like when you put your phone on vibrate and stick it down the front of your pants as a way to pass the time in boring business meetings?
no? just me then
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I vibrant on fat chiks.
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Then you should enjoy the new Chub Clubs TLA.
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once you’ve gone fat, you never go back.
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i look forward to the typically vibrant cci representative to talk about this.
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the PICA car boot sale is great
if you can’t support local artists by buying ther art, you can at least stop them from starving by buying their junk
I want that foosball table in the photo
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Why isn’t this an uncatetorisable worst? Sure looks like one to me.
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nice avatar transition G’day :)
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It should have happened about 35 seconds after you posted that link yesterday, but I gather they take a while and my machine is still showing me the old one.
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try clear cache
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Perfect.
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Buzz Quotient Quadrant?
Buzz fucking Quotient Quadrant?
if you don’t know what that is, you’ll need to ask the Buzz Quotient Quadrant Question.
and don’t get into an argument about it, or it would be a Buzz Quotient Quadrant Question Quarrel.
which would need to be decided by committee, in which case you’ll need a Buzz Quotient Quadrant Question Quarrel Quorum
and if tweetle beetles battle in a puddle in a bottle…
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Where’s my fucking Vim!
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It’s fucking your vigour.
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Fuck small bars, if we could all just street drink legally this city would be vibrant out the yin yang. It wouldn’t cost anything either. CoP doesn’t really want vibrancy, they want Perth to be Melbourne. IE – they have no fucking idea what they actually want.
CCI – nobody is actually serious about anything but making it through the day working in such a shit workaplace.
I was a former contractor at CCI for nine months – fuck me its a genuinely old school boys club. I watched an ENTIRE department get out-sourced, as it was the only way to get rid of a woman who had started to break through the glass ceiling.
May I add, fuck you CCI, you suck.
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I really like the small bar concept. For two primary reasons,
1) Good wine lists.
2) No yoof.
But I did appreciate the dirt on the CCI, the fuckers.
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I’m surprised anyone would be surprised that the CCI is a genuinely old school boys club and a bunch of fuckers.
I can’t even begin to comment on this astounding document and the way it grinds the word ‘vibrancy’ into a fine powder with relentless management-speak. But do have to comment that I love the non stop statements that WA needs to attract more people and workers, from an organisation whose sole reason for existence is to advocate reducing stamping out wage growth and reducing the market-determined wages & conditions of workers through legislation. Yes they’re fuckers.
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It’s obvious we need another licence plate solution. Those ‘State of Excitement’ plates always made me feel so proud.
Now we need ‘WA: The Vibrant State’. That’ll solve the problem.
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Hmmm, being easily distracted by shiny things, that could almost make me move back home from “QLD: The Smart State” phreestyle.
http://www.smartstate.qld.gov.au/strategy/index.shtm
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Another Meckering event, perhaps.
Now *that* was vibrancy.
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I thought you were joking and then I searched for ‘The Smart State’.
Fuck me. It’s a national disease.
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Wasn’t Victoria the Full Bush State? Or was it garden state?
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yep: garden state though full bush would have been way more amusing.
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I find this full bush pretty amusing.
NSFW.
http://www.hairypictures.net/hairyharley/4/index.html
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that is a work of art big O – extremely vibrant.
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It’s no joke, I was in FNQ recently and saw a few “Smart State” licence plates – I thought at the time “how dumb”.
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yep it’s loud and proud real:
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I’m visiting the vibrancy catchment area of Claremont tonight for my first chinese calligraphy class. I’m going early to see if I can find some worsts – apart from my brushwork.
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Chinese calligraphy over the vibrant opening of the very vibrant Northbridge Piazza?
You’ll be missing a great night. It is going to be hell vibrant.
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So what are the “economic measurements attempt to gauge changes in Perth’s vibrancy”? Sales figures for anti-depressants and Tim Winton novels?
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Vibrancy can be measured with a Polytec PSV-400 three dimensional Scanning Vibro-Meter.
we have one right now directed at Colon Bayonet’s head, and it is flat-lining
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These scanners should be installed at all entry and exit points to WA. Any person exporting vibrancy out of the state must be forced to relinquish any excess.
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You’re not using the right tool for the job.
I’d spec a displacement probe for that application… http://www.vibro-meter.com/aerospace/displacement.html
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Colon’s colon ought to show more movement.
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you may get false readings
what you think is vibrancy may just be gastric distress
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or Troy Buswell.
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Colin Barnett – the wrong tool for any job.
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Vibe in ,vibe on an vibe out fo the vibe news ,fo schnizzle ma Nietszchell , listen up Taser Hos and Homies, yo too uppity. The K’OKStar Perth’s leading futurer is crankin daddio
My new word fo the internet is the Vibraphone, I’m sure it will catch on.
CUNPI at Curiousiversity’s Vibemeister Centre (The Vibe Centre of Perth!) has several new items in the police vibracy policy pipeline: New! New! New!
• The Vibraphone 24/7/ keyboard monkeying,crackpot and ancient drug deals surveillance squad has imminent arrests
• The application to the State Nomenclature Department (SND) has been approved and the B spot (William St Maccas) has been upgraded to the BL spot (covering both bag ladies and bald headed loons) Needless to say this has had no effect on the unabated and untreated psychoses there.
• The Vibrancy arrester squad continues its good work around Fort Carlton (FC). In our day you got pissed, golden showered , laid a fat steamer on a hot chix, vomited on a random bystander all by one o’clock but these bastards want to continue the whole shemozzle till six .We’ll form a staring committee, gather in a circle and have a look at it. Then we’ll run through it or maybe even over it and decide that FC needs to be closed by 1:30 A.M. We’ll keep you in the loop as long as you’re not a loop.
• The Good, good vibrinations (cue theremin) Rock Fest up drug free event sponsored by Quokka lite bitter for the yooves. Air Supply, Cold Chisel and Jethro Tull (“Hey Aqualung “is the BL spot anthem) are reforming to get along to that one.
• In the too hard vibed out AFP basket “Tatts” Mercanti. I just hope the right one hasn’t “Finks” and the left one “MC” or even “Finks” in a ring. Talk about identifying marks.
• Poogle it , the new Police vibraphone search engine. It’ll be on everybody’s lips just like how to be a Perthenarian A-Lister.
• We expect to meet the shortfall by a massive increase in speed cameras or vibameras; it’s all up before the SND. I’m also giving the call out to the Western suburbs to donate any unused Porsches, Aston Martins (any “Top gear” gear ) or even a souped up Light burn Zeta to the police.
Anyway, enough of this shit, I’m out of here, to have a few squirts with The Buzz. “Mr Stinky WorkChoices”: He’s a winner with that one ……not, (lolz) but it has to be said that he’s had his nose to the grindstone lately. if we can’t get a compromising situation out of the Buzzster I’m not worth me weight in horse shit, but that’s a topic for another PhD.
Also If Col’n was alive today, he’d wear pants occasionally I just know it.
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3/10
could try harder
not quite vibrant enough
recommend a dose of continued lurking
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Wow, there really is a poogle.
I checked!
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Speaking of Vibrancy, those fun loving Greens are really practising it in sleepy old Willagee :-)
http://blogs.crikey.com.au/pollbludger/2009/09/25/willagee-by-election/comment-page-4/#comment-344126
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Just read some of that, with skink’s comment being the last one.
Please tell, wtf has morality got to do with politics and government?
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even someone as cynical as you may have to admit that Carpenter’s timing is atrocious.
you seem to be confusing morality with integrity
I think he is actually a genuinely nice guy, but his political immaturity, and his piss-poor sense of timing, always makes it look like he puts himself before his constituents or his party
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Or perhaps Carps has been left so jaded by his political enocunters that he decided he couldn’t give a fuck anymore?
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hee hee I meant to say encounters (freudian or what?)
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McGowan would have been his principal enocunter.
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entirely probable
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Why do you think he is a genuinely nice guy? He always appears to be a wanker in media. I haven’t met him though.
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Actually I think I have shaken hands with him. Could have been margaret river.
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I met him, and he is a lot warmer in person. he does indeed come across as shifty in the media, which suggests he didn’t learn much from being on TV as a journo.
The opposite is true of McGowan, who is colder in real life than he appears on TV.
Yes, that’s possible
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My Ning will be in liquid lunch for resources types in QLD, otherwise we could have had another mark chichikov McGowan rant.
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I’ve Shaken hands with the great one – and it was on TV as well at the ALP Campaign Launch.
And Skink, haven’t you forgotten that Carps saved the Taxpayer $1 Million by NOT signing up to the Parlaimentry Super Scheme – he was the ONLY pollie to do so.
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yes, Anthony Green himself reminded me of that fact, as if that somehow absolves him of being a hypocrite
just think of all the money he saved the taxpayer on railways, schools, hospitals and footy stadiums by allowing the Libs to win the last election.
where have you been, Frank? I thought you would be right in the middle of this. they missed you on Poll Bludger as well
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It’s called sleep – went to bed at 12.30am but because of shoulder pain etc, didn’t get much sleep, so stayed in bed till 1.30pm
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The comments from supporters of the delisted Greens guy are all so touchingly pathetic. He’s even telling his own supporters to shut up. They should have played it out here. There’s no mention of haircuts, graphic design or any of the real issues.
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“A healthy conversation, an honest one, is the most beautiful experience.”
I feel that way every time I read this site
it’s a beautiful experience
feel the love
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i am skink, i am!
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I can’t see that, since MyTubes and FacePlant are blocked at this location
I shall assume that it is flattering
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only compliments for you skink, no rudeness this morning. i’m still warming up:)
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Vibrancy (n): the quality of being vibrant.
I’m sure if the CCI wanted to locate things that are vibrant they could find them here
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For the CCI good vibrations emanate only from the “…slurp, slurp into the barrels” (the music that excels) accompanied by the “ching” of the tills and the rustle of the banknote counting machines.
Most of them are as remote from reality as “Free to Air” TV is from fact.
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Last night the Northbridge piazza opening rated about 2.2 on the vibrancy scale.
COP need to get the technical issues sorted before inviting people and groups to perform. And, where was the free piss?
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was that the Tapas scale, or PBL?
I am surprised there was any vibrancy at all if there was no free piss
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There were moments of low vibrant activity, interspersed with vibrancy deadening technical issues.
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It was the type of vibrancy as only Perth knows how.
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from Crikey’s Leader today:
“Former WA premier Alan Carpenter joining Wesfarmers as its chief spinner and lobbyist is, in a word, a disgrace.
You can bet Carpenter won’t earn his keep at Wesfarmers writing press releases. His job will be to lobby the State and Federal Governments. As the full-time employee of Wesfarmers, he won’t even have to go on any Lobbyist Registers.
For the former Premier who complained that Brian Burke was able to get his phone number, it’s the height of hypocrisy.
The only difference between Burke and Carpenter’s roles is that Carpenter will be working exclusively for one company, while Burke had his shingle out for anyone who would hire him.”
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No time for your pic Skink, but you may have seen the twitter feed
Alan Carpenter vows to “avoid eye contact” and “walk the other way as if he has something to do” as he joins Bunnings/Wesfarmers board.
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which is funnier than my effort
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Carpenter’s move to Wesfarmers negates any talk that Carpenter ever made about Burke’s baleful infleunce on the Labor party.He is now in the same position as Burke . All Carpenter’s political decisions will now be viewed through the lens of his career outside of politics. The people of WA have once more been served ( up) by the self serving. In fact Carpenter will be a more powerful lobbyist than Burke because of the size of Wesfarmers.
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But the difference is that Burke had the likes of Malborough & Archer by the Kahunas and when he said jump, they replied “How High”.
Carpenter’s performance will be judged on how how the current ALP Leadrship deal with his approaches etc.
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We now have a reasonable explanation for Carpenter’s previously thought stupid decision to go for an early election.How will the Labor party handle it ? With Dripper in charge very badly.
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Hate to disappoint you Bill, but according to my sources Eric may decide to follow Carps lead and seek a life outside of politics.
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It’s true that Carps won’t be able to use any influence on factionals, but he could threaten to lobby for them if they don’t comply.
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I’d like to get this discussion back around to the notion of throbbing as opposed to vibrant. I think ‘throbbing’ could just be the concept to bring Perth into the 21st century – if only 10 years later than the rest of the world (apart from the Middle East, which still has a few centuries to go yet).
Ah yes… I can see it now: “Perth – It Throbs!”. We could have the irrepressible Patti Chong in a beach setting – “So where the throbbing hell are you?” If Patti’s not available I’m sure her twin Lee Lin Chin would step up to bat for WA.
I need to get onto CCI straight away – their vibrancy could get us all killed! This town needs a good throbbing and I’m going to see Perth gets it…
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a branding masterstroke to be sure sandy balls. I can see TLA’s t-shirts already!
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Thank you Mr/s Pants – I’m actually getting a minor throbbing in the nether zone just thinking about it… It’s a matter of standing erect and moving forwards, backwards, forwards from where I stand and nothing will stop the momentum of getting Perth a-throbbin’ like the best of them.
…Just off to the loo – got a little something to offload.
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http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/6428089/hotel-tower-for-west-cbd/
This will aurely add much needed TLP to the CBD. GJAR.
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Well, you can’t deny it ties in with the architecture of the Perth Arena.
That’s a 0.8Tp hotel, right there.
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activation – a concept seriously missing from this site.
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“It is basically trying to modernise this part of town and provide things particularly for the younger professionals who work in the CBD,” he said
In addition to the two new towers, almost one third of the area will be dedicated to public space such as wide boulevards, public squares, alfresco areas, shade and public art.”
Yes, cause there just isn’t ENOUGH public art for those poor younger professionals in the CBD.
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