And they took turns at Becky, while sittin’ at the table,
there’ll be time enough for gamblin’ when ole Becky’s done… Kenny Rogers, The Gambler and Coward of The County en mashed.
Outrage Cohen reminded me of the worst that is the quiz night. My favourite was in the 1970’s for I think Swan District Colts, where spot prizes were vouchers to Happy Haven knock shop down the road. But things have turned even worse for quiz nighters now as every bastard is pretending to use the bog, but really are phoning a friend, a friend called Wikipedia. Some even blatantly cheat at the table like this. Just calling the babysitter my arse. Disgraceful.
The Worst of Perth 
It could be worse, they could have a scanner/low powered walkie talkie with an earpiece and have someone in the carpark with wireless internet giving the answers.
Perhaps the quizmaster should announce that all mobles be checked in on arrival and to be collected at the end of the evening.
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And we all know how accurate Wikipedia is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Worst_of_Perth
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I dunno, that’s pretty good. the Nurry quote is gold.
no mention of La Chong, though
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I will be interested to see what Shazza has to say on this…
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I had intended to stay ashamedly silent.
However as I have been publicly named and defamed I have no recourse other than to say the Devil made me do it. In conjunction with the demon drink and a competitive streak.
Now I shall be interested in hearing how he who abetted my crime justifies his acquiesence.
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I trust that none of the ladies in the photo is your good self.
I had imagined you to be more classy than to drink Canadian Club, from a bottle, with no ice.
am I right in supposing that the faces are blanked out for our benefit, rather than theirs?
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None are I.
As Bento described to DFOC recently, my ears stick out and I walk with stilts thereby forcing my knees around my ears while sitting. You’ll also note the lack of tie dyed hemp clothing.
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You frequent some pretty rough quiz nights, DFOC. I wouldn’t dare take those ladies on in a round of Heads & Tails.
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Be perfect, if those three upraised hands each had lit fags in them.
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I agree, but I sense that they are poised in mid-teeth pick in order to remove the chewed Sakatas from their fillings.
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I wonder which part of Manchester they’re all from?
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clearly one of the swankier areas – just look at the bling
solid gold jewellery worth over twenty pounds
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As if sucking all that brane juce isn’t enough cheating. The quizmaster should ask questions that Wikipedia answers incorrectly like say ” Is Macca gainfully employed at Curiousiversity ?”
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I can reveal this was in an eastern suburb: a fundraiser for a sports club.
We were bullied to a attend by a friend of Krazy Kym’s.
It was a 7pm start and reasonably speedy progress was made until the end of round seven.
Then there was an interminable period of fundraising, including two competitions of who could get a gold coin closest to a bottle of scotch.
We got out of there just after 11pm after coming second.
There were no prizes for coming second.
The tables were crammed together, Krazy Kym was bumped several times, and the din was deafening.
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Belmont Womens Boxing Club?
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I was about to say that I have not seen that many fugly women at one table outside of Belmont. It looks like a row of slapped arses.
are we sure that’s not DFOC in the foreground texting ‘I’m a media celebrity, get me out of here’
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skink. Please. Do I seem like the sort of bloke who would wear a felt tracksuit?
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when in Rome…
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when in Roma….
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reminds me of this:
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Midland Pitbull Fighting Association?
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Not really commenting on your comment DC but down below everyone is banging on about Perth…again and again and again.
back to Quiz nights – went to one on friday night in a church. It felt like Jesus and the money lenders all over again and it was all I could do not to overturn a couple of tables in my righteous anger. (came 6th no prizes there)
I have to go to another one next week which luckily will be interspersed – not by throwing money at alcoholic beverages but by some tasteful live music in which yours truly will be taking part.
OK some table overturning, righteous anger and money throwing may still ensue!
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Oh and I have invented a new kind of quiz night with a snakes and ladders like chart so that every now and then the strong shall be brought down and the weak shall rise up and the meek shall inherit the meat tray
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Cheers, Cimbali. I hope your next quiz night next week doesn’t clash with TLA’s comedy worstorama extravaganza.
Will you be covering any Charlotte’s Web songs?
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Something is clashing but I can’t remember what. I would love to be at the worstorama.
No Charlottes web just a couple of sultry Eva cassidy numbers!
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Oh hang the clash – I’ll be there!
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So there will be at least 4 of us there then?
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And Mr Cimbali – who is not a commenter but a secret follower of TWOP
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Back to three. Don’t tell TLA, shazza, but I am withdrawing my pencil-sucking invitation: I am spending time with the police next Thursday night and won’t be able to attend the comedic funtastico.
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Surely the two could be incorporated?
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Especially if DFOC is cruising with Leederville Police who I believe Teh Charles “is in their Patch” to use Copperspeak. :-)
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Landcorp 2030 have established an interactive survey – reachable via their website or via an expensive link on the front page of The West’s website.
they want you all to give your views on the proposals coming from the Summit.
the ‘best minds’ in Perth have come up with:
a water feature in the river
a water fun park in the river
painting the conference centre to look like a big gum leaf
a cable car to Kings Park
a monorail
a light railway to Scarborough
big high rise development on the beach fronts
painting our taxis an interesting colour
dressing up our traffic wardens
a program to force young people to talk to old people (I thought that was called ‘Christmas’)
I think the only thing I voted ‘agree’ to was more community green spaces, and integrating Northbridge into the city. well, d’uh.
vote now and stop this nonesense
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Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!
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Youse’ll have vibrancy up the ying yang or gerbhole.
Traffic wardens to wear clown suits
Taxi drivers to wear clown suits
State politicians to wear clown suits , hey wait a minute they already do.
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speaking of vibrancy up the yin and yang, I see from today’s paper that La Chong is running another of her ‘maximise your gerbil’ sessions for Woodside on the 3rd September.
3rd September… what an odd choice…
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Gerbhole! inspiring and delightfully descriptive Bill :)
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Oh Dear!
The usual petty mindedness prevails.
Whenever will the ‘brightest minds’ get to realise that “All that glisters is not gold.”?
What matters is not what a place seems to be, but what it actually is.
Gradually, but with exponential acceleration, Perth, and its suburbs, is becoming a place for the disillusioned, bitter, angry and aggressive scions of a socially dysfunctional society.
Perhaps the next generation will realise that amicable and mutually supportive community relationships are of infinitely more value than whether one has a fancier BBQ area than the family next door.
Fuck it: Be honest: We’ve all been conned by crass commercialism, puerile politics and rabid religion.
The King of Bhutan is focused on “Gross National Happiness” as opposed to Gross National Product.
Bhutan may be a fledgling economy in the world arena but: “Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings……” etc.
Wake up world; the great economic dream is a total illusion.
More ‘stuff’, less space to enjoy it in.
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“a place for the disillusioned, bitter, angry and aggressive scions of a socially dysfunctional society.”
You’re fitting right in then, Rolly?
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Nope.
I’m heading for the bush as soon as I can get my act together.
My delightful “..large country town…” of the 1970’s has become like any other stinkhole of a city.
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Don’t let the light rail hit you in the arse on the way out.
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I won’t be *that* long getting my act together !
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A water feature in the river? I thought a river was a water feature. I mean a river is a thing with water in it, right?
Whatever they were on in that forum, I want some. Hold on, no I don’t.
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Sometimes.
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here’s a link, just in case you thought I was making this shit up:
http://www.c2030.landcorp.com.au/sitecore/content/C2030Summit/Home/~/media/Landcorp/LAND0940B_SummitIdeas.ashx
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That is some kind of awesome. I want to meet the person who paid $500 to turn up and suggest we paint clouds and sunglasses on the taxis.
I can only assume it was Lee Kuan Chong who wants the government to mandate a casual corporate uniform for all her subjects. The Northbridge Link should perhaps set aside a public square for the caning of anyone caught wearing a tie on a Friday.
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Lee Kuan Chong would never suggest that. Its fashion week, or at least I thought so by the quiz night photo.
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“Establish creative youth programs at the railway station”
We already have many creative interactive youth programs in operation around the railway station, especially on Sat night.
“Light rail to Subiaco …” WTF ?
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I like the playing of classical music to drive them away personally.
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And don’t forget this blog helped remove the youths’ creativity before, having their arse and boozie work dragged off.
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“Two avenues of light to be visible from space”.
Skid marks?
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Co-locate a cross section of differing age groups in new developments??
Don’t young folk realise that us old folk can barely tolerate them? That’s why there are 55 and over villages. And clubs and pubs that cater to the 30 years and over crowd. Spare me.
I am a little bamboozled that most of those suggestions managed to escape the room they were mentioned in.
Cue Rolly.
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… but nanna smells like wee
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it is surprising that the recommendation for better transport links between the suburbs and the city comes third from bottom, almost as an afterthought.
Unfortunately the survey does not have a box marked
‘no shit, sherlock’
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Snacks – are you reading this? I hope you’re finally satisfied. Were the taxis your idea?
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I reckon he came up with the waterslides in the Swan River.
if you hit the water at high enough speed, the jellyfish will shoot right up your clacker
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Snap!
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You mean up your yin yang?
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That’s not a water slide. This is a water slide.
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Is that clip for real Snuff? The precision is astounding.
Reminds me of that husband and wife team some years back that undertook to fling her cannonball style onto a distant trampoline, which she did, then bounced with catastrophic consequences.
Terrible as it was, I have never laughed so much at anything before or since.
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viral for ms project managher in a manhwell voice
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Snacks was about vibrancy so surely he was putting forward the river water slides idea.
Just dont swallow during an algal bloom.
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What Snacks didn’t really understand is that you can get all the vibrancy that you need from any “Adult” emporium.
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Bak from the deep south of Margartet River and Augusta. Wasn’t expecting this post to have so many comments derailed or not, but as I say, I’ll never undestand what you pigs…
Seriously the results of that forum were beyond embarrassing. Monorails? Painted taxis? What, what and what the fuck? These are the suggestions they RELEASED? Without having to resort to TWOP rhetoric, any tool could see they were stupid and a waste of everyone’s time. You would have been ripped off if you’d been paid to go there.
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Been hitting the Howling Wolves TLA?
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I went to the winery, but they weren’t open. Took a photo though.
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Mandate corporate casual wear??????????
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Are you implying that is a suggestion too ridiculous to have made the short list?
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Looking at the rest of the shit, this should be at number one. Cloud taxis, monorails, gum leaf convention centres? The whole thing must have been thought up by retarded typing monkeys. Cookster, this is your doing. Has there ever been a gathering of such tools in the history of Perth? I assumed it would be worthy but a waste of time. Retarded and time wasting is much more worthy, especially when sme of these poor cunts paid to go.
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What do you expect when tickets were given away by The West and Geoff Hutchison, and I think 6PR as well.
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there is a photo of the event on the website.
By my count, there were about a hundred people in the room.
there were at least fifty free tickets given away by the media, about thirty invited panellists, and lets say twenty Landcorp employees
so the question is: just how many people actually paid to go to the event?
also check out the expression on the poor guy sat next to La Chong
http://c2030.landcorp.com.au/sitecore/content/C2030Summit/Home/Perth%20Event%20photos.aspx
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I’d say he’s been snapped right at the instant it occurred to him that a reanimated corpse-like pallor might be catching…
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I love the caption under the Chong pic. The guys face says yes to Dullsville.
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Still on 2030 they have put all their marvellous ideas in a convenient PDF
http://c2030.landcorp.com.au/sitecore/content/C2030Summit/Home/~/media/Landcorp/LAND0940B_SummitIdeas.ashx
I enjoyed the juxtaposition of having the suggestions ‘Avenues of light visible from space’ & ‘World centre for sustainability’ next to each other. Ideas grouped by their mutual incompatability: Neat.
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our friend the Dullsvillain has tracked down the Chong Loveur of Leather TV ad:
be afraid, be very afraid
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What’s with the Vasoline-framed first shot?
It evaporates after that.
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A wondrous worst from Shazza tomorrow by the way.
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speaking of water features in a river, or lake, did you have opportunity whilst in Margaret River to get a pic of the sculpture in the lake at Laurence Winery – the ‘woman on a stick’ ?
definite Worst
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