Took the boy on a boat trip round Mandurah, when we had some time to kill. The abundance of dolphins was great for him, but the abundance of worsts was more pleasing to my eye. Most of the trip went through the Mandurah Canals, and the operator will never tire of telling you how expensive these revolting hideous houses were. Does anyone really care what these pricks paid for their shit heaps? The houses are laid out so you can look in and see that their crap taste doesn’t stop at the front door. We were really treated by getting a glimpse of Rolly Tasker working on his palm trees. We even got a wave! I can only hope he was muttering “fuck off cunt” as we went past, because that’s what we were thinking. I tried to show you a revolting bedroom interior, but one of his poxy palms got in the way. Couple of nice boat names. Seaducer was good.
Remember, i’m in China this week. Moderation of comments might be slow.
cazador (m)
n. destroyer; huntsman, hunter; chasing; gun; smug cunt with overpriced shithole overlooking drain (vulg).
LikeLike
but why is Chateaux in the plural.
is this home comprised of several little castles, all knocked together to make one big long terraced castle?
is the garden irrigated by boar water?
LikeLike
Take heart. As sea levels rise, they’re all going to flood.
Nature abhors a shitbox.
LikeLike
One of them had an underground gagrage for ten vintage cars, so they might be able to solve the technical underwater problems.
LikeLike
Seadoucher?
LikeLike
Seadoucher. I like that.
LikeLike
I belive the correct term for these canals is ‘Ross River Incubator’
LikeLike
I had to google Rolly Tasker – I had no idea who he was.
Mandurah – fucking worst.
LikeLike
This was what they were goin to build out the front of Freo.
Anal….banal and stupid. Hey Siska wotcha doin down from Fuket ? If you goin to stick it to the lower orders how about a bit of class. Instead of CostaLota have Costa ShitLoad , there’s more sting in it. Seaducer gawd , howabout Fmachine. You need to bring in a high cost name advisor like say …….me. The sooner the Fu-Q winds come and blow away the Shatodour Crazy-doors the better. The swine will have their revenge. These characters wouldn’t know if there anal was on fire in any case.. and it burns, burns and the flames went up higher , no but they aren’t smelling.
LikeLike
Yes.
LikeLike
Soularion – Do you actually use a keyboard, or is your laptop wired directly to your cerebral cortex, allowing for stream of consciousness commenting?
LikeLike
or unconscious commenting?
LikeLike
No it’s definately conscious. It’s Freo speak for take your pretentious stink boats and shove them up your canal.
LikeLike
I can see it now but where did you learn to speak such good freo shazza?
LikeLike
Good question PL, I only hope we can understand the answer or include a translation.
The cheap houses need no explanation however, they are the type of tacky that is both unique and quintessentially Perth.
LikeLike
She’ll probably try to tell you otherwise, poor lisa, but I know shazza speaks FSL.
LikeLike
I have only lived in the Fremantle vicinity for a few years now so can get by on my limited freo. Having said I have recently purchased a home closer to town so shoud be speaking fluent Freo in no time at all
LikeLike
You need to first start saying hallo instead of hello.
LikeLike
His heart is in the right place , as they say in the classics but I’d think he’ll say he’s channeling the earth.
LikeLike
I think the gratuitous use of vulgar language in this thread is rather tasteless, very much like some of those canal-side homes.
Although if anyone reading this lives in one of those homes and is a friend of those who employ me then I take that comment back unreservedly.
And for anyone who has been offended by my rude and unnecessary langauge in the past, my humblest apologies.
LikeLike
You must be drowning from all the wonga from Sexpo.
LikeLike
Does anyone else say wonga except you Bill?
LikeLike
“a brilliant, mordant, blackly comic read” wonga
LikeLike
Saying nothing of your gratuitous use of pole dancers
LikeLike
And gatruitous promotion of all things gerbil.
LikeLike
Apologise for that knitted bube-tube, old dude.
LikeLike
Apologise for nothing man, I’m on your side
LikeLike
Cookster , it would be wise to get SKink to photoshop a young Arnie Swarzenegger as you in any further photo opportunities.
LikeLike
Something like this, Bill ? The real coup would be to get Kellie Everts to strip for god at Sexpo.
WARNING : Second link NSFW after front page.
LikeLike
Looks work safe to me. Did we get who those women were that Cookster had hold of? Some previews of them would give the good name of NSFW a better run.
LikeLike
The web proxy has this ad. The price you pay to circumvent china web blocking.
Thining Hair We Have The Solution For You Wether You Are A Man Or Women http://www.full-set-of-hair-now.com
Why not that god nork woman?
LikeLike
Not where I work, TLA. Her site’s some piece of work, isn’t it ?
LikeLike
Really? She be fucking crackpot (ie humanitarian) but have failed to find images not safe. And I’ve looked. Don’t you have those cartoons of schoolgirls being rooted by robot octopuses over there, but you can’t view a site of a crackpot not showing really anything? You get more on a TWOP public art post. Or have I missed a link. I got caught up with her preaching and glowering work.
LikeLike
You mustn’t be getting the Abridged Flash Film Autobiography in the middle of the page, TLA. Do you see the links “PLAY AGAIN” and “SKIP FILM” ?
LikeLike
when in the big green, pick up some of this stuff
fixes everything
LikeLike
I particularly like that it ‘shrinks cunt’
there are some especially big cunts around here that could do with being cut down to size
LikeLike
Giant Clams you mean?
LikeLike
there are a large number of bivalve filter feeders around Perth. We need the Swan River Trust to remove the prohibition on taking and eating them.
LikeLike
Is that a wild bore as opposed to boar at the front of his house?
LikeLike
I’m surprised and disappointed to note Rolly’s hose is not coiled around a Mercedes wheel rim. You missed an opportunity there, Rolly.
LikeLike
What ‘r u worryin bout Rolly’s hose , Be-not ? Prolly still mentally in Fuket.
LikeLike
Shazza – can you please shed some light on this? I haven’t a clue.
LikeLike
I’m afraid my Freonese isn’t honed enough to decode this.
LikeLike
Any danger these wax figures of sailing icons could be worst, TLA ?
LikeLike
I went there, but it was $15 to enter. I specifically wanted those figures, but not at THAT price.
LikeLike
That does seem a bit steep, especially when the staff are probably paid in baht. Phuket then, TLA.
LikeLike
You went, complained about the price and left. So Perth.
LikeLike
Too right. If I had a lazy $15 lying around, I’d be up the Belltower like a rat up a drainpipe, with enough left over for a latte to boot.
LikeLike
Wow, only fifteen dollars to see the Bell Tower, I had always thought such a world class attraction would cost much more.
Thanks for the tip Bento, I know what I will doing all afternoon.
LikeLike
You could prolly make a coupla hundred sails for that price in Fuket an still have change , as long as you don’t employ males : they are indigent indigenes apparently.
That short was very Chandon pictures, Snuff complete with bogue-speak.
LikeLike
Don’t know what you were looking at but it is $10 for an adult.
Perhaps you classified yourself as an adult and a child?? $10 + $5, or maybe adult and pensioner?? $10 + $5. Perhaps adult with an overly large appendage that required a seperate entry fee??? If that is the case then please post a photo! lol
Pics of wax figures are on the Wikipedia article for Australian Sailing Museum, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Sailing_Museum
LikeLike
I was with child.
LikeLike
Loretta?
LikeLike
Here’s one for the future cunts. Greetings from the past. Enjoy!
LikeLike
Lolita?
LikeLike
immaculate conception?
LikeLike
Try Junior LA – you filthy swines.
LikeLike
when viewing the delight that is mandurah, did the boat make it to the “far canals?”
LikeLike
You’ve read Heart of Darkness? I half expected a shower of stick arrows.
LikeLike
Pingback: I wouldn’t piss on Mandurah if it was on fire… « The Worst of Perth
Sorry to disappoint you Lazy but that is actually Rolly’s gardner you saw- you don’t expect him to actually garden himself do you? I do live in Mandurah and love the natural waterways here but do share the same views on canals!
LikeLike
I thought the crack didn’t look regal enough.
LikeLike
Your picture is not Rolly Tasker, it’s Ron a tradesman sealing tiles. I have known Rolly for 27 years and all I can say is the man is a true gentleman, adventurer and brilliant businessman. As for the boats, they are not Rollys either. Rolly is now in his mid 80’s, still works 18hr days at his factory in Thailand. I am not sure who you think is amused with your ranting about a great human but if you came anywhere near me I would knock your teeth out.
LikeLike
Don’t be a plonker. Too many have tried to disavow the Tasker crack. I’m now convinced it is him. Ron sealing tiles? C’mon, what do you take us for? Is he a prisoner in his ownThai factory being forced to make red shirts 18 hours a day?
LikeLike
Cunt? Not cunt?
LikeLike
Ron or Rolly?
LikeLike
Christopher.
LikeLike
I was amused by TLA’s ranting, for the record.
LikeLike
I too was amused
I would also be amused to see someone knocking TLA’s teeth out in defence of Rolly’s honour
a joust, perhaps, with a silk handkerchief from Rolly as the prize
LikeLike
I could get “Ron” to retile them.
LikeLike
And I still don’t think we’ve got to the bottom of this Tasker crack situation.
LikeLike
And another thing. Why was “Ron” waving to the tour boats? Dude you’re just tiling. We thought we were waving to an adventurer and a great (though ridiculously work crazed) Australian.
LikeLike
“……….still works 18hr days at his factory in Thailand.”
Doing what?
Increasing *HRD 4.0 is the current stable release, also contains Digital Master 780*?
Any intelligent and humane person would be using his accumulated knowledge and funds to assist the less fortunate.
i.e. if your statements are indeed fact.
I wouldn’t know.
LikeLike
You forgot to mention his impeccable taste Chris
LikeLike
Do we have to list his crimes against humanity? Mandurah Canals? That puke inducing house? The Sailing museum?
LikeLike
Christopher Wingate lives here?
LikeLike
*here*
LikeLike
Pingback: Mandurah Retardeds | The Worst of Perth
the writer obviously has the brain the size of a pea. Apart from his appalling grammer and bad language it logic to assume the person is anti success. he should try working for a living
LikeLike
Your wonderful comment is al the success I need. You didn’t use “looser” because you didn’t know how to spell it?
LikeLike
You’re the one with a brain the size of a pea , Chucky , if you think all this shit is good.
LikeLike
Grammer? He he he.
Anyway I thought this post was about Mandurah, not Success.
LikeLike
In this post we never got to the bottom of the mystery of if it wasn’t Rolly Tasker, just the tiler, then why was he waving to the tour boat?
LikeLike
Bottom. Heh heh.
LikeLike
Yeah, That Does ryhme but whats Mandurah Canals?
LikeLike
You’re are all just jealous pricks
LikeLike
I’m jealous of Rolly’s Thai sailmaking. I would love to make sails in Thailand. I’d make sure evey stich was done by a ladybot, or a yellowshirt.
LikeLike
Mandurah is a great place to live with fantastic waterways and loads of outdoor activities available, not to mention the great family lifestyle it provides. We live by the beach and my kids are fit, healthy well adjusted youths.
LikeLike
And mosquitoes make very loyal pets, too.
LikeLike
Good servants but bad masters.
LikeLike
Well adjusted with this nearby? No they are not. Oh no. They are a seething mass of tiny burntness, which will only be made worse by the surging hormones. Crab hormones that is. Did I really describe Mandurah as “Dead gay crab meat twisting in the wind?” Maybe I did used to be funnier?
LikeLike
Pingback: Well quite | The Worst of Perth
Rolly Tasker’s crack will no longer be seen amongst the Palms in Mandurah. Died today. Vanished worst?
LikeLike
Good riddance.
LikeLike
For a second I thought you meant Bin Laden.
LikeLike
Too soon.
LikeLike
You are disgusting. He was a good man
LikeLike
Thanks Martin.
LikeLike
You didn’t see his crack when he was gardening or his absolutely repulsive Mandurah C-anals mansion. If you had, you would be onside.
LikeLike
So easy to throw stones in anonymity
LikeLike
It is harder for a sail seller to be a good man than – something something eye of a doodle.
LikeLike
QED
LikeLike