First, someone apparently called me about advertising on this blog. I didn’t get your message. email me.
Now, I had a couple of other posts ready for today, but a late email from (Good Riddance) Bento, had me pushing these boozies up. Three sets of amateur norks on one – is it a polaris? How worst is the scene daddyo? The statue, the Cocos, the tyre rim hose reels, the chain fence for christ sake! Magic. Bento I salutes ye. It’s Midland.
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The Asia Beat
The Worst of Perth 
No comments on this superb worst yet? I don’t think the chain is necessary. The sourpuss look says “grab these boozies at your own peril”. I think a velvet rope would have been nicer. It could be unclipped for VIP’s.
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Impressively worst, TLA. I do harbour an irrational abiding affection for tyre rim hose reels, but the chain fence really perfects this one. I can imagine a couple of Maori bouncers in penguin suits around feeding time.
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I too am very disappointed LA. I braved the badlands of Bellevue to get a pic of boozies on a plinth, with a plastic chain to keep away the masses of gawking tourists, and still gets no love. Did I mention there was a turnstyle at the front gate?
They’ve got nips like pygmies’ cocks, to boot.
But noooo, you just keep bashing your heads against a brick Chong. See if I care.
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Sorry but I’m still sulking.
I did briefly rally to vote Fuckin Worst, before slumping back into the doldrums.
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Some other prominent Worstonalities may also be licking their wounds – or whatever they can reach.
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JUst wondering Bento, do you sense this is pride or good humour on display? What was the vibe of the place? Do you think they are having a laugh or feel genuine reverance for the girls.
The Italian columns, in tandem with the Cocos and chain? It all seems too worst to be anything other than the work of larriken uni students. Except the grass wouldn’t be so well maintained. I’m confused.
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Good humour? With that sourpuss?
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I got the distinct feeling this is a house occupied by very sincere, probably elderly, Italians. I’d put money on there being vegetables growing out the back, with probably one of the most impressive overhead reticulation systems you’ve ever seen.
The hose reel is mounted to a flagpole, but there was no flag raised at the time. Apologies for not getting this in the shot, but I was genuinely concerned about some of the locals.
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Very wise, Bento. That austere lawn, that tethered hose, all say, “You f*ck with us, you slumber with the non-tetrapod chordates.”
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Well, OK, this particular house doesn’t appear particularly menacing, but it is not entirely representative of the area, shall we say. More like one of those places where the house-proud long-term inhabitants refuse to acknowledge that the suburb is now almost exclusively occupied by meth labs.
Me, in my skinny little metrosexual jeans, All-Stars, beardless face, and brandishing nothing more lethal a Canon 400D, stuck out like the veritable spare Chong at a wedding.
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The locals probably thought you were an undercover cop “gathering evidence” :-)
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For your story to hold up, your’e going to have to come up with an explanation as to why the 3 sisters still have all their bits and are sans graff.
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well, clearly that is thanks to the impenetrable force that is the plastic chain of death
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Funny you should mention the chain Claireee, I was just wondering if it was the tacky plastic sort, or the classy metal?
Bento?
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100% plastic, as far as I could tell. Lightweight, hard-wearing, stylish and functional. It’s the chain of choice for all discerning curators of quality garden sculpture.
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Clearly. And the night-time Maori bouncers.
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Seriously, Bento. This place is straight out of a David Lynch movie. The random craziness of meth freaks would be a relief compared to the clinical precision of these people.
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And no doubt listening to the following song on either Rete Italia, or Italian Radio on 6EBA .
BTW, Little Tony came to Perth in the 90’s and unfortunately his concert was cancelled due to a wild storm which occoured on that night and this song was featured on the radio ads on 94.5.
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Sorry not to comment earlier but it is monday morning and our suburb appeared to be on fire and it took me some time to sort out the coins that my daughter had earned busking and swapped for real money out of my purse and the cat had….. anyway
great worst.
I particularly like the way the nymphs have resolutely turned their backs on the lopsided nuclear warhead in a fiddling while rome burns kind of a way.
And I also love the second pic which looks like it is on the lawn of the house of a visiting Indonesian diplomat and therefore deserving of the plastic chain.
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where are all the hands going?
is it some sort of lesso circle jerk?
is that what you meant by ‘licking wounds’?
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I too have clicked FW.
The post is picture perfect – what can one say?
I’m sure they animate come sundown and turn over trolleys at the Swan View shops.
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Just saw your mug on the telly – I note they got your name wrong. No Fucken Outrage.
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For those playing at home it was in relation to the firebombing of a Ch 9 Reporter’s Car- so naturally it lead on nine and nowhere else.
http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,25499436-2761,00.html
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Frank, now everyone knows I had my tv on 9 – momentarily I hasten to add. I’m a Foxtel fan most of the time.
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And I swear this is DFOC in a previous life :-)
A French song in an Italian Song Contest.
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Mea Culpa, it ain’t French, I think he’s singing in Dialect.
And here is the English Translation.
http://translate.google.com.au/translate?hl=en&sl=it&u=http://wikitesti.com/index.php/Pietre_-_Antoine&ei=bacRSurpHJfisgOg1NnlAg&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=40&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dpietre%2BAntione%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-GB:official%26hs%3DDAn%26num%3D100
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In much the same way as it is the Western Independent’s house style to not use any honorifics, I believe it is Channel 9’s house style not to utilise offensive nicknames. Channel 7 haven’t followed suit, mercifully, and one will often see “Adrian ‘Fat Wog Cunt’ Barich” as his on-screen byline.
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Thanks shazza/Ms Stone – I will counsel the young reporter accordingly.
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You burnt his car? If he doesn’t want to join the union, it’s his choice.
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Counter-revolutionary! You’ll be first against the wall.
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You’re more of a hard-liner than me, Bento.
There’ll be no need to liquidate Comrade McDonald. He will have his uses. He can be the cabaret at Council House after it’s been converted to housing for the workers.
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Our very own House on the Embankment, if you will, Comrade DFOC. Frank did point out the importance of consistent nomenclature for branding purposes.
I have seen Comrade McDonald’s bourgeois comedy stylings, and I feel he may be a little outre for the proletariat.
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Then may I suggest he is no comrade.
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I’m going to be welcomed by fellow cadres in Communist China this time next week. In Wuhan and Nanjing, I am regarded as of the people, and for the people.
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This looks like someone’s highschool kid’s art project. They feel obliged to put it on the lawn – after all its the only thing the kid’s done at school all year. Seems to be something about the 3 fates. I hope it rotates on its base.
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I’ve just shown these pictures to my mother who has informed me that the “Statue” was built by some friends of hers and it’s called “La Tre Sorelli” (The Three Sisters).
Yep, we wogs have a LOT to answer for.
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Shit, I meant to say that I expect frank’s “family” must have something to do with this.
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Nope, my 3 sisters would tell my mother exactly where to stick such statues if she dared try to erect them.
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That’s not a statue. A statue is one of those things that sit on the little table in the corner of the room, and sometimes it rings and you pick up the top part and say ‘ello!? Dis is me! Statue?’
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What’s Italian for ‘The Six Prominent Nips’, Frank?
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According to Bebelfish (My Italian is only restricted to my parents Bivongesi dialect) is:
I sei punti di contatto prominenti
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I like your ‘who shits me’ poll
you should run a real poll with your button gizmo.
I won’t nominate anyone, because, well … you know
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It’s a slow day at work. I’ve been perusing some websites. I’m amazed by the amateurishness of your adversary – first by responding to comment makers at all and second by dragging the debate down to the level of a school yard game of “I’m smarter than you are”.
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B.T. I took it a small compliment that she had to resort to that level, as I assumed it meant my argument was too sound to combat.
Its.
Perth Legal Eagle aka Chong – 0
Stay at Home mum aka shazza aka mrs stone- 1
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Oh and the Skinkmeisteris really giving it to La Chong :-)
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I just read that. It’s gettin real ugly over there.
At least Skinks children are beautiful.
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I love that she touted for his business. More front than Woolworth’s, that one.
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Speaking of Children, I see Col is keen of renaming PMH when the new campus is built on the Charlies site.
All I can say is VERY BAD IDEA, it was aking to 6IX being renamed the Eagle and 96FM being known as Triple M – you don’t feck with a recognised brandname, same as with Peters being forced to rename Drumsticks to Trumpets because of Nestle owning the name on the east coast, though that’s academic now that Nestle have bought Peters/Brownes.
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I think they’ve got the whole ‘injured kids’ market stitched up though, Frank.
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Yes, but the Name is an icon – The plebs won’t like it one bit.
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If you guys ever want to read a columnist that is actually good:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/charliebrooker
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Charlie is my hero
I saw that Guy Rundle name checked him last week
check out his TV show ‘screen-wipe’ in YouTube
it’s basically him sitting at home on his couch, in his jocks, shouting abuse at the TV
sure to appeal to the average twopper
‘infuriating little piss-weasels’
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I’ve been a fan of Charlie for some time, but I’m a Guardian tragic. I particularly liked his most recent column, featuring the subtle:
“And thoughtful, inquisitive sorts tend to think fascism is a bit shit.”
Brilliant.
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I only started reading because Nathan Barley was well dusty.
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On another slow day, I’d like to have a go at her. I was inspired by something she said to you and I’m itching for a chance to post “and I’m a better petroleum engineer than you are, I’ve sized the optimum diameters and wall thicknesses for more undersea pipelines than you’ve had hot breakfasts”… or some such irrelevent drivel.
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I think I just replied to myself – was trying to reply to Shazza.
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I hope you have another slow day soon B.T.
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Nearly 90% worst or fucken worst. The people have spoken. I like it myself. I gave it delightfully not worst.
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Just watch Italian TV sometime to see how obsessed they are with mammaries.
That’s why, even though I can trace no genealogical evidence for it, I find that I have an affinity for things Italianate.
“Please knock roundly and firmly: I like firm round knockers”.
Taut, trim and terrific every time.
It’s all in the mind, you know!
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Oh I do all the time on RAI Ineternational on the old Sattelite dish.
Oh and they even make the Italian version of Deal or No Deal sound melodramatic by the inclsion of emotional music, emotional blaackmail and soppy love letters etc.
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On the other hand the Italians can do a great Dirty Beat Poetry item heaping scorn on a Military Officer.
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C’mon Frank, RAI Uno is tame and restrained compared with the outragious outpourings of the Berlisconi Media empire.
They are infatuated with Rossini’s William Tell overture; you know: “Titty Bum, Titty Bum, Titty Bum Bum Bum…..”
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Not to mention Italian radio …
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Bravo on UK Sky used to have a show called Italian Stripping Housewives, which was an overdub of an actual Italian game show of some sort. Which involved, erm, stripping housewives. From Italy.
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LA – No-one seems to have asked who it was that contacted you to advertise on this site? Please tell me it was Merry’s.
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I suspect it was this air conditioning service, Bento.
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These woman are the keepers of the Dome of the Sacred Nipple.
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