I had completely forgotten the photoshoots they did around campus a while ago, so I was quite surprised to see myself appearing on the University’s refund policy brochure. Indeed it may even be one of Smokah Frith’s shots. I was thinking of a “caption that photo contest”. Well a contest with no prizes. Kudos only. What am I saying to this young lady? Bearing in mind that I work at this institution, don’t make me xxxxxx you xxxxs. I realise I’m playing one of the Uni admin money types that poor old Jesper has such a problem with at Murdoch, so I don’t want too much svenkage from anyone.
The Worst of Perth 
“One more crappy effort like this, and we’ll cut the top off your head too.”
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I know that you are new here but can’t you read???
(all sorts of sexist, racist and other connotations can be taken from the very nasty look on your face… you are basically giving the look my God you drongo (insert racist/sexist comment) you are obviously an absolute f wit as it is there … right there.. can’t you see it??!!!)
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LA can we make no reference to Jespers Rotto companion Charlene? Given her reference to the DSM on your esteemed blog i see endless possibilities here.
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“Sir, this is a library. That’s not a wine list.”
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Errr….dude? That’s not a dude. LA may be lazy, but I don’t think he’s blind. :)
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“I said good day, Sir!”
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“do you like my new after-shave?
it’s called Old Turd”
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“clause 6.2 of your refund agreement states: ‘in the event of a dispute the student has exactly two chances of getting their money back.’
Now I bet you wish you had taken that language course about the Australian vernacular.”
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“where we ask on the form for the ‘Time of Withdrawal’ we were not enquiring as to when your boyfriend Jesper climbed off you, and were not expecting the answer “just in time for Australian Idol.”
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Angelina will have something to say about that Skink.
I note we both garnered some negative attention from LaChong this morn.
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she was trying a rather shallow ploy of pretending that her previous comments had been meant in jest when she had said something daft.
she tied herself in knots with the Bill Maher quotes and is trying to weasel out of it
next she’ll be pretending it wasn’t her and all a hoax.
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and a rare treat indeed from Patsy.
after one of her withering putdowns, she was obviously not satisfied at having the last word, and so returned a few hours later to add the postscript:
“PS: and you are talking crap”
a double serve. I am honoured.
quality discourse
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She had at least 7 hours to think about it, if I recall correctly, and that was the best she could come up with??
And how does she know you’re no fashionista? She seems to spend an awful lot of time thinking about you, so it wouldn’t be particularly surprising if she’s trailed you. I’m a little concerned for your wellbeing…
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If you’ll look these figures it demonstrates that, simply by removing the C, we can save 13% off Urtin’s printing costs.
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Just on that topic, TLA; can you or anyone at Curtin confirm or deny the urban myth which went around at the time that when Curtin changed from WAIT, the proposed name was Curtin University of New Technology ? I heard there was even stationery printed up as such, which if true, would be well worth framing.
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I think we may have started that one in Grok at the time. Gee, you must have been our reader. I knew we had one, just could never track them down.
Cockster’s memories of these things is usually slightly more reliable than mine. Mind you, seems he’s vanished off the ether. Have you banned him, Lazy Ossie? What did he do?
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Cookster is cashew deep in Sexpo planning I expect.
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“and if you pull a train with the university rugby team, you’re going to be urtin too.”
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These are all pretty damn good. Wine list. Gold.
Robert could have given me a quick going over with the blusher brush though.
How about,
“Which part of beaver damming don’t you understand?”
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are you levitating three feet in front of your chair?
or did the photographer make you get down on one knee so that you are not obscuring the Plant Pot of Patriotism on the shelf?
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Err, the first one.
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Youse gettin some of youse money back coz we couldn’t lern u to read , well maybe some of it. Do youse want a neat t sayin ” U R Ten” ? Cost price !
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“Thanks for coming in on Jespers behalf Angelina. Now, I refer you to Chapter 1 of Irony for Dummies”
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That doesn’t look awkwardly posed at all there LA. You appear to be totally natural, discussing a point of interest with someone who doesn’t look at all bored to be there. You’ve captured the very essence of the “rigidly set up” image style.
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Well thank you JimN. At least someone noticed.
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I think he has more of a “look bitch” expression as he points out the “bleedin obvious” to her.
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“No, there won’t be any money shots – just sign and that $100 cold hard cash is yours.”
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Yes, three. One here, here, and here.
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Nice disguise, Patrick, but discrimatory language is not tolerated by this University.
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Certainly, madam. Refund applications may be made under this desk.
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…and I will throw in one of these cool Urtin jackets with the deal.
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I know I signed it, Mr. McDonald. But I still don’t see why I have to wear a cuntkini for my tute presentation. And there really should be an apostrophe after “strippers'”.
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“Please help me, I seem to have got my finger caught in the Ring Binder.”
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“…in this part of your application you describe yourself as ‘hyper-literate’, but you don’t have to be Zoltan Kovacs to know that you should never mix your Greek and Latin roots.”
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“See, it says here in the staff union agreement that we can wear trackydaks after lunch.”
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“in-SOO-see-unt. Like I’m doing with my eyebrow. See?”
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“Clearly, if there was a hole right here, then we would have needed a three ringed binder”
“If you don’t sign, I will staple your nose to the document, right here where I am pointing”
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“This is Australia, so if we were drunk, you’d be writing MEAT on the fingers of one hand and HEAD on the fingers of the other.”
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“Is this the man that attacked you?”
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Wah! That is fly shit! Not a full stop.
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“Double or nothing you can’t get my finger with that pen”
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Pull my finger. FTW !
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Excellent taxonomy Snuff but no mention of the death rattle. the fartszio (the smell of $8 mill going down the toilet) or the Freo.
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“This ring binder is the only available parking spot on the entire campus”
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hahaha awesome
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“Just this one finger, then. Honest, baby, it won’t hurt a bit.”
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“Snap!”
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“For fuck’s sake, I hope they Photoshop out that bong on the chair behind me…”
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Or, “And see my hand here like this? This is where that cunt skink will photoshop in something disgusting.”
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actually, it never occurred to me.
the only thing that appears to be missing is a big Flavor Flav clock round his neck.
Bo selecta innit
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“Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not the ring binder, don’t look at the ring binder, look into my eyes. [click] You’re under!”
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The comment below was for you David…reply button was bounder not to work with the binder
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…so funny
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I Was BORN a C.U.N.T. Man and I Will DIE a C.U.N.T Man – now Sign here you recalcetant (Sp) ECU WOMAN !!!!!
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It is all very funny today – I can imagine you saying pretty much all of those things LA.
It wouldn’t have been any funnier if someone made a lego animation of you.
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That’s an excellent idea, Cimbali. We need skink to xtranormal them.
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I’m on it
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I’d rather see the Cameron Solly exchange
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We’ve been wasting our time all day.
The better question is: what’s the poor student thinking?
“If I edge my way slowly to the door it won’t provoke him.”
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Pull your what ?
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Discrimatory ? What kinda svenkage is that ? That svenker Jesper narced me, didn’t he ?
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Monica’s fine.
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She was saying “Thanks for reminding me. Yes, Sexpo WAS absolute crap last time it was here.”
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She may also be saying, The Worst of Perth? No never heard of it. I was born a Tod Johnson blog woman…”
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“There is quite often finger-pointing.”
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And this one I call ‘The Shocker’.
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“my finger appears to be stuck, would you mind levering it away with that pen? …YOU SIGNED, I OWN YOU!”
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No one ever will convince me that fart jokes aren’t funny after that. I am increasingly impressed with the software.
Award for the funniest moment though must go to the “look into my eyes” complete with magical hand wave. Brilliant.
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you and poor lisa need to give Chong some stick.
her column today is about the Matthew Johns affair, and is basically along the lines of “she was a slut, she deserved it”
I would say something myself, but it’s really wimmin’s business, and needs your best ‘men are beasts’ invective.
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I have just returned from registering my fucking Outrage.
I note she has also challenged you again to a public debate, with proceeds going to charity.
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You two plonkers must be her only stats. Don’t Bogart the Chong.
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TLA, the amount of support she appears to be gathering for todays rubbish cannot go unanswered.
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I am so very pleased to ignore her
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Rolly the pinko, lefto, femmo in me cannot stand silent while La Chong incites the ignorant masses into a frenzy of metaphorical witch burning.
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Her and Rattler have much in common. Expect a very crude analysis of an event from her. Sooner or later you get bored by their simple mindedness and there is no more engagement with them, They deserve all the ridicule they get.
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Doesn’t she know the debate has already been televised via xtranormal? I hope Skink has sent the link.
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I didn’t send the link. I was rather hoping that she would discover it all by herself when googling her own name, and then send me a threat of a writ.
her second challenge to a debate may be an opportune moment to bring it to her attention.
I suspect that with the increase in ridicule being directed her way by Crikey and Inside Cover, she is starting to worry that her media profile is slipping. She seems to adopting more and more irrational opinions in the hope of generating some traction. Her sudden conciliatory chummy tone and eagerness for a public charity debate has the whiff of desperation.
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Apparently she “goggles” her own name according to another blogger.
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Skink,
Great post comparing her comments today with that of Buswell, who has been rewarded for his indiscretion by being in charge of the State’s Finances.
Using her logic Johns would make an ideal Liberal Party politician.
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thanks
I hope to keep he comments on that issue in circulation, just so that nobody ever again considers inviting her into politics.
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Check out her pithy reply saying Johns wasn’t in Public office or on Television – he was an NRL IDOLISED by Children – sort of like Ben Cousins was the darling of the Eagles etc.
She is a FUCKING HYPOCRITE – she had no qualms demonising John D’Orazio in the CCC with that “Godfather” quote – despite him being a terminal fuckwit.
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Someone should point out to her whether she would make those same comments if the victim was below the age of consent ?
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Guy Rundle in Crikey wrote about this issue in the entertaining and insightful way that shows what a lightweight Chong is:
“In homoerotic sports like football, gang bangs are a way for team-members to get as close to fucking each other as they can, without having to admit the desire. The sports-besotted teenage girls they rely on as a sort of beard for male group bonding exist in some shadowy area between consent and its opposite. Yes, in legal terms, it’s usually consent. But any decent man, any mensch, would immediately assess a 19-year-old willing to lie on a motel bed and be done by half a dozen blokes furtively scoping each others’ choppers, as not really in a good place, and put her in a taxi.
Favourite part of the whole imbroglio? Undoubtedly the clip in the Four Corners programme about the gender issues education courses, in which dopey young footballers are introduced to the issue of consent by being asked to imagine that a man has got them drunk and then bummed them without their explicit consent. “You wouldn’t like that much would you — well imagine how a woman feels.” Fantastic. As long as they get a chance to talk about fucking each other, without really talking about it, they couldn’t be happier.”
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It appears La Chong has banned print of any shazza mail.
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easy to get around, use a different username/email address, TWAT can’t be assed reading headers and ip addresses – ask Skink :-)
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What part of “don’t bogart the Chong” don’t you people understand?
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It’s alled giving her enough rope to hang herself.
She can dish out the crap, but the poor dear can’t take the criticism.
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It was probably my argument that she doesnt want published. It seems if she cant come up with a smarmy, irrelevant response, then you can’t play.
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And did you notice the number of Women agreeing with her ?
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Sadly a common phenomenon. It’s a psychological defense mechanism Frank. A bit like Stockholm syndrome. Identify with the agressor to protect yourself from the fearful reality that this could happen to you too.
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And now La Chong says she “was verballed” by the Journalist.
Talk about Pots and Kettles.
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goggled, verballed, potato potarto
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And she now accuses our own Vic Demised of verballing her – she’s lost the plot.
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While we’re on the subject, why is it that you women need to dress like hot sluts all the time? I recently had to ARC WELD the flies on all of my trousers SHUT, just to stop myself from leaping from behind BUSHES upon unsuspecting wimen (bitchez, as I call them).
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Doesn’t get any funnier than the two Freos , Shazz.
” When my baby smiles at me I give a Freo , free at last , what a blast , ooo I gasp ….. chorus ,,,,”
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If you liked that, mrs stone, then you and the kids will love this, the worst game ever, complete with worst sound effects.
p.s. You don’t need to read Korean. Just mouse and click around until it makes sense. Actually … that may never happen. Enjoy.
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Snuff, I see your arse-shooting game, and raise you the most boring game in the history of games:
http://www.library.cmu.edu/Libraries/etc/game1/game1.swf
Still can’t do that hyperlink thingy. Sorry.
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It seems to be a draw! Both games are equally shit.
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Sorry Richarbl, it’s unequivocal.
Bentos game wins. Snuffs contribution is just the type of thing I enjoy. Pong still rules in my book.
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I was doing okay until I fell asleep, Bento, so I think I’ll settle for worst Korean arse shooting, thanks. This piqued my interest when I awoke, however.
p.s. If you fancy hyperlink thingying, this spells it out nicely.
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Well, you can’t argue with science, can you?
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A masterpiece. I salute you.
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Beautifully done, skink. Despite a strong field, TLA, I was certain “Pull my finger” was full of win, yet now I’m willing to concede that I may have been svenked by an hypnotic sound effect.
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“The refund hotline number is here! Dont expect a reply in a hurry, they’re usually never in, they’re always crappy as buggery and they’re complete nazi bastards!! You’ll be lucky if you hear from them in your lifetime – I’ve never got a bloody thing out of them, – they’re all totally useless pricks really, I dont even know why I’m pointing you here it’ll be a complete f*kn disaster!”
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Shazza
it won’t be Chong blocking you , it will be their moderator. They seem to have a fairly ambivalent attitude to moderating, they maybe block one in four of my posts, but anything that is too spiteful towards Chong will get blitzed (athough there was a good one about her dressing like a clown)
You can try different email addresses and usernames, because they don’t often check the IP address. Chong thought she was being clever by outing one of my aliases, but it took her a year to work out that you can type any old shit in there.
so who is the swinging/whistling pig? I assumed it was a Twopper
Generally you will be blocked for content, rather than identity. Recently they have been more lenient – one person even called Rattler a TWAT. I have several thoeries about that. Probably they are just lazy, and the amount of traffic is so small they need all the posts they can get, but I have a suspicion that Fairfax are sick of both Rattler and Chong. It is coming up to one year since they started blogging, so maybe their contracts are up for renewal. I reckon Frank is onto something: Fairfax are allowing the more contentious posts to slip through in the hope of giving them both enough rope.
if you are incensed enough to take it further, then you can write to her editor, Roy Fleming:
roy.fleming@fairfaxdigital.com.au
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At the risk of being blocked by another Fairfaax employee – 96fm’s Gavin Millar is also defending Johns.
http://twitter.com/gavindmiller
Ahh Fairfax – radio for meatheads and Bogans.
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Crikey also ran the story of the SMH’s technology reporter, Asher Moses, who sent out some similar Twitters about the ‘slutty groupie’ and now regrets it.
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According to La Chong, this whole story is a Govt plot to deflect attention away from the Budget.
someone PLEASE call Graylands and prepare Forms 1 & 3 :-)
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Skink,
Yiur last comment re Buswell has been deleted by Fleming, and no I didn’t save the text.
I wonder if La Chong has gone sulking to Roy Boy ?
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Scrap that, it’s back up including her reply, and she still want the debate.
POST THE LINK !!!!!!
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I posted the YouTube link.
they put it up on WAToady.
It took over an hour to appear, so they must have debated it for a while
she’s calling me chicken.
interesting to see what happens next. I’ll see how traffic goes to the video, and if she spots the other ones.
cluck. cluck.
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I notice their time stamp is 1 hour behind – They must have forgotten to change the timezone back after Daylight Savings ended.
No doubt they had to pass it by Fairfax’s egal team before they could post it – Patti being a lawyer doesn’t count :-)
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not sure it’s a time stamp thing. I know when I posted it, and other stuff that I posted came up before it.
I wonder how long it will be before she mentions my balls?
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she avoided the question re what Johns said about his Family and what La Chong said when she seperated from her Master Bates :-)
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Oh and now she blames the Tall Poppy Syndrome.
Keep Digging Peppermint Patti.
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she always either suggests it is tall poppy, or men threatened by women.
she never seems to engage other women.
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Based on her public breast feeding stance, and now her “she asked for it” position on the Johns scandal, I suspect she is a mysoginistic female.
Hate the Chong!
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I seriously, seriously hate the Chong too. I was honestly beginning to think I was probably the only person who felt that way.
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Hi Aileen,
Just for the record, I don’t hate Patti, I was borrowing a phrase from a Seinfeld episode. IMO La Chong is too benign to generate hatred.
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Hahha shit, that’s what I get for waking and baking without my morning television fix first!
I get jokes, I swear.
Seriously though, that article she wrote was so ridden with victim bashing and rape culture apologism I found it difficult to not at least get really, really fucking pissed off with it.
I would happily spit in her direction.
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in argument she always challenges virility, and throws out accusations of either small prick syndrome, or lack of balls.
I am beginning to think she has penis envy
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Or she wishes she HAD a penis.
Sounds like a Transgender Howard Sattler.
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Actually make that a Transgendered Mike Ward from the Mens Confraternity.
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did it go up and then come down?
I missed it
one thing you can guarantee with the Chong is that she will always want the last word, whatever it is, so the more you keep her talking, the more she ties herself in knots.
Clinton is guilty despite not being charged, but Johns is innocent because he was not charged. She will argue the primacy of the law most times, but will happily say that ‘the law is an ass’ when it suits her. And if all else fails, she will claim she was ‘verballed’, misquoted, or it was someone else pretending to be her, and then say you have a small prick, no balls, and no fashion sense, so there.
nurse, the screens!
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I was careful to avoid being too inflammatory in order to get published. Perhaps my last comment that Chongs insensitivity towards the victim said a lot about her was the killer.
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I saw footage of Johns on the Footy Show talking about it, and he said something along the lines of:
“what happened to that woman was bad, but the anguish and embarrassment that it caused my family was worse.”
sound familiar?
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It sounds like it’s time for another Video starring La Chong and Matty Johns :-)
And check out her latest reply to Vic’s post (note she only replied to the Patti Cake post only as the other one said almost the exact same thing).
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How about “And this here is what we call Svenkage.”
I think I like Flynn’s winelist one best.
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Gosh. Funny ’bout that.
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I agree. Nice work.
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I am so depressed about the demise of daylight saving that I have nothing funny to say about this photo…
… Tintin University…
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“About this long.”
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