I was hoping that the new Inside Cover would be really good, or not bad enough to write a post about. But unfortunately it’s crap. For god’s sake, why is there a picture of a grandfather peering over the newspaper, when you’ve got Daniel “Teh Hottie” Hatch on the team?
Unfortunately Rob Broadfield’s ego and sense of superiority which work perfectly well in a restaurant review, (and are just what’s required in that situation) just sound like an old man who isn’t funny but doesn’t know and won’t shut up, on IC.
The copy is embarrassing. In the first two items Broadfield claims that a “Colin” and Eric Ripper were shaking in their boots when told he was IC editor. Cobblers. Or was it supposed to be a joke? Judging from this attempt, they were more likely scared he was about to tell them a long and rambling story without a punchline.
Rob, “quelle horreur”? For fucks sake, it just makes you sound like a plonker. Also “chortling loon”. Plonker. Also “ahem, winsome young ladies”. Plonker! Why not quote some Goons, to make yourself look really up with teh kids? It comes across like a cross between Paul Murray and Eoin Cameron. These are not two stools you want to fall between.
Aaaaaarghhhh. Get someone quick and smart. Numerous blogs are doing this material better.
The Worst of Perth 
Le coq geriatrique.
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Ew, was he sitting across from a playground when that photo at the top was taken?
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And for mentioning being at a reception for the Spanish ambassador. Plonker!
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and here he is on WorstTV:
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That is fantastic. No quelle horreur?
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Not only is that fantastic, but I think Mr Broadfield might get a bit of a giggle out of it. I might be wrong. He’s certainly not an awful critic although our choice of eateries and mine don’t match.
Why doesn’t he do Mykonos? McDonald’s Balga?
Also: assuming that is him in the strap (and not Mr Hatch in Benjamin Button make-up), hasn’t that compromised the whole “Unknown Critic” thing?
Certainly, I know the staff at one noted, large Perth “foodie” magazine go to great pains to announce themselves for freebies.
You’ll note I said staff.
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Well I’m getting free piss from Air New Zealand.
I like him as a critic. As I say a feeling of self importance with a turn of phrase is perfect for restaurant reviews. Especially as he knows his stuff. However, dispensing pompous jokes from on high for IC just makes him sound like a complete knob. His stuff is not making wit the funny.
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McD’s and Mykonos in one breath, thats a bit harsh
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Hatch was doing swell. Pity he’s been shoved aside by a baby boomer. He had such great hair!
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Reminds me of one of Benny Hill’s sidekicks. One of those hands is fake. The real hand is grabbing some bird’s ass sitting next to him.
[Yeah I know, it’s normally Benny with the fake hand and the look alike getting slapped.]
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Indeed he does, Big Ramifications. I don’t think I want to know what’s going on here.
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and in what surely must rate as the most incompetent piece of journalism in some years, Broadfield did a titterfilarious piece about Bon Levi’s latest massage parlour, with lots of smirking into his sleeve about topless hand shandies, seemingly unaware that Levi had been arrested and charged the previous evening for stabbing someone.
finger on the pulse, as ever
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/20/2547966.htm
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Did you get my email? You have so many identities Skink.
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If you look closely the man in that link *COULD BE* Rob Broadfield.
Was Colin near the slashing on the weekend?
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And did you get my email, skink?
Hotmail appears to have bounced it for ‘policy reasons’. They are clearly more discerning than Rattler’s moderators, although there was nary a cunt nor riddance in sight.
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no, I didn’t get you mail. Never had a problem with hotmail before
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But the stabbing was at 11pm – when Broadfield was safely tucked into bed, having written the column at 3pm the previous afternoon – though a postscript could’ve been added by the night chief of staff for the later editions.
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I still think Broadfield is the best food reviewer we have in Perth, but his scoring is becoming less relevant to the copy with each new review.
He gave Frasier’s 16/20, but then goes on to say that his steak was poor quality and overcooked and his dining partner’s chips were cold. If I could be arsed and I thought others would care, I’d go and dig up some other examples.
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They do care.
I only like his bad reviews. Who wants to read a fucking 16/20 for somewhere you don’t go? but everyone wants to read a 4/20 even if they don’t intend to go.
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I love his bad reviews too, but the Fraser’s score was at strange.
The service must have been amazing.
The ‘Little Cloud’ one was awesome.
He savaged somewhere else recently, but for the life of me I can’t recall where.
It looks like he’s been reading TWOP.
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C restaurant
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That’s it.
C – the tough but fair review.
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There’s nothing wrong with being a Baby Boomer. :-) This one would rather read the Inciteful Comment of young Dan, that the ramblings of Broadfield any day.
Let’s start a Bring Back Dan movement.
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Oops – too early in the morning – typos galore. I meant ” … the Insightful Comments of young Dan, than the ramblings …”
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“Two days in the job and I’m starting to feel like a leper.”
Already??? We haven’t even started on this crap….
Obviously he aint as tough skinned as Nuzza, who really is a leper but fails to realise it due a monster ego.
I hate to say this, but after a few months of this blather maybe we’ll be asking for Armstrong back….
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I think someone deserves credit for christening Buswell ‘the beagle’. That was the only bit that made me smile.
I also agree he is an entertaining restaurant reviewer, although I suspect that he was recognised at Fraser’s, hence the especially attentive service. I have been to Fraser’s twice, and once had to put my arm into the aisle to block the waiter in order to get his attention. And the food was cold.
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have you seen IC this morning?
billed as now having “more laughs.”
more laughs than what? being stabbed by Bon Levi?
they have a piece about the Cabinet website that lifts comments directly from this site, and they even photoshopped Buswell’s web page in a comic style.
why didn’t they just cut-and-paste my effort? It would have saved them at least four minutes.
It’s a fucking outrage. I would complain to my union rep, if I was a member.
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The Western Patriot is sinking boot in too.
http://westernpatriot.com.au/?p=790
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and now that I have gathered momentum – how dare he have a go at Spare Parts.
I took my son to see The Bum Thief on Saturday, and he laughed like a drain for an hour. They are brilliant, and although it is rare to say anything nice about anyone on this site, Spare Parts are in my top ten ‘Not Worst’ things about Perth.
my only complaint is that they do not have the funding to put on more productions each year, so I had to endure the entire journey home with my boy asking when we could go back to see another show. (actually, I have another complaint: the cutie wearing glasses behind the front desk could smile once in a while)
DFOC: as righteous defender of puppeteers, jugglers, and magicians, I demand that you seek justice.
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We couldn’t go as it was sold out.
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Me too! My 4 year old was gutted to miss out on a show about peoples bums getting nicked.
Absolutely a not worst.
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Looks all right to me. One thing’s for sure, there’s nothing remotely worst about Tim’s work. And for what it’s worth, albeit in translation, it’s big with the kids here in Nihon too.
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As a boy, I remember reading the Bugalugs Bum Thief and finding it uproariously funny. I didn’t know that they made a puppet show out of it!
I express my amazement because out of sheer coincidence, I was thinking about the book the other day, and wondering how on earth one would attempt to translate it to a non-print form. But puppets! Spare Parts Puppets, no less! What a wonderful idea. I’m you and the little fella had a good time, Skink. If he enjoyed the show as much as I enjoyed the book, I’m sure he did.
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I’m 43 and I found the book juvenile. Bum thieves indeed!!
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Rob Broadfield – get a real job. This promotion featuring his ugly fat bald head is a complete crock. He constantly bangs on about how better the world would be if only we all thought more like he does. Self obsessed wanker – I’ve had a gutful. I’m getting a budgie in a cage and lining the bottom of the cage with the West Australian, just so it can shit on Broadfield. What a funny little town this is.
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That’s one way to constipate a budgie.
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Did anyone notice he has different glasses on in the two pics? Is that so waiters won’t recognise the face furniture when he does a review?
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Plus, Rob has one good eye and the other’s a bit bung, so it looks like he’s looking over his shoulder while reading the paper. He’s not much better at driving a car either.
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My sphincter tightened, then loosened when I saw that IC had gone from self indulgent twaddle to what it used to be. Sort of quaint version of what TWOP does better. But it’s an improvement. No French is Tres bon bon. However, it is an improvement. Perhaps DH is winning the battle of wills?
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And apostrophes’s’? Why bother. It’s done here.
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Broadfield’s reviewing peaked with the Little Cloud. I’m getting bored with his elitist bullshit. He’s still by far the best food reviewer in this pissant town, but he’s started believing in his own myth – always terminal – and is showing signs of megalomania and self-delusion (which someone at the West seems to be stoking…give him less to do, ferchrissake, not more).
Also, I notice he’s a pal of Paul Murray. That’s a serious indictment. Tell me he’s also a pal of that narcissistic wanker Steven Scourfield (whom I was alarmed to discover fancies himself as a “writer” of – gulp – “fiction”)…or even worse, Mark Naglazas (surely the worst movie critic in mainstream media today), and I’ll give up on him entirely.
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I don’t mind Naglazas, but yes Broadfield appeared to believe own publicity. Doesn’t Scourfield write poetry too?
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Does Community News count as mainstream media? My kids could write better reviews than the bloke who does them for my local rag – and they’re not even born yet.
More fool me for reading that paper in the first place…
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I didn’t know about Scourfield and poetry – that’s a relationship that disturbs me greatly.
Even worse than the Community Newspaper movie efforts are their restaurant reviews. The Vincent Voice has a bloke who divulged in an intro of one of his reviews that he is in the know on Indian cuisine due to a family member running an Indian restaurant. In his subsequent review, which was full of dire warnings about chillies, he waxed lyrical about a novel dish he had not heard of before – biryani!
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Blame it on the biryani,
The Curry of love….
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Oy: Naggers is a fine movie critic. As well as knowledge he has a sense of humour, which is always welcome. Not Worst.
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I noted today that it is now called “Rob Broadfield’s Inside Cover, and that it now proudly boasts: “patron Patti Chong.”
they have been giving La Chong a ribbing about the Merry’s add, and doing fake emails complete with bad accent and leather fetish references.
They are stealing my mojo
they are STEALING my MOJO!
get your own fucking material you bald squinting arse-whistle.
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There’s plenty of Chong for everyone I think. You sure it’s a fake email? Sounds just like her.
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can’t be her,
she didn’t mentions balls once
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PS. I stole ‘arse-whistle’ from here:
http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/
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Laser pointed out to me that Broadfield’s head seems to be sinking. There’s even less visible than usual in today’s IC.
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Or is the paper getting bigger?
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Maybe he is slowly deflatiing.
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Or maybe your eyes are getting higher?
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Nips are getting bigger?
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perhaps his fat bald head waxes and wanes like the moon.
It may explain some erratic tides lately
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I want La Chong for a Sexpo stunt – Skink, you still got her number?
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she published it on her blog as 0412 979283.
if you need someone to xxxx her up the xxxx live on stage, I’m yer man.
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The fugu of sex acts , I knew you had love for her Skink.
Any one voting for reg’la ? Lights , camera, action.
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Here’s a suggestion that would solve Rob’s deflation problem at the same time, Cookster.
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I dont know who this guy is but he looks like what the title saids.
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