I could have reached into the archive for another car or house, but a challenge from Patti Chong on this site made me decide on a media post for my first day back at work. (And it’s nor Paul Murray). I know how you love media. Here’s a comment from Patti Chong challenging a The Worst of Perth commenter to a debate on ANY topic and the comment that provoked the challenge. UPDATE Ms Chong wants it live at Forrest Chase. I’m suggesting The Charles. Sounds like a great liveblog opportunity.
Skink (commenting on the flaccid nature of Fairfax Online)
…Patti Chong always gets a whinge in about how she is not accepted. For the record Patti, it’s not because you’re an immigrant, it’s because you’re a self-agrandising opinionated self-righteous sanctimonious windbag. The clothes don’t help.
Patti Chong replies
Skink, you know what you don’t have? Balls! At least I proffer my opinion under my own name. You hide behind the anonymity like the KuKluxKlan.
Come on, if you are brave enough, I challenge you to debate any topic with me. But you see, I have the balls to do it and stand up and be counted whereas you wee neutered and would not even publish under your own name.There’s only one word for people like you…coward!
And I suppose you think you are Armani!
I did think that somebody may be faking Patti Chong, but then I thought “Who the fuck would pretend to be Patti Chong?” And even if a fake Patti Chong wants to challeng a commenter on this blog, in some ways that’s better. Let’s do it. First, it may be best to throw open debate topics for the stoush. I might sugges…
“Why is Fairfax Online being flogged by the incredibly bad The West online?”
Armani. Is it too 80’s? Too gay?
Who IS Patti Chong?
If 6 were 9?
—————————————————–
And on the media, Mark “Not Worst” Naglazas was in top form on Saturday, giving the movie Australia a SECOND bad review. Now we find that not only was the movie shit, it was also the wrong kind of shit for our times.
The Worst of Perth 
The Lazy Aussie
Skink’s comment was made about the article in The Australian Weekend Magazine by Paul Toohey on Perth being a cashed up bogan city.
I featured in a small way with a photo ( hence Skink’s comment about my clothes) and some quotes ( and his comment about my whinge).
Skink’s comment was not about Fairfax Online, so leave them out of it.
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Patti Chong is coming to UWA to tell us peasants how to achieve an active level 9 on the Chongian scale
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Yeah, it’s real hard to use a fake name in a post.
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How about: “Cashed up Boganism: Courageous or Cowardly?”
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Well!
This is interesting.
Is Ms Cheong having a “Blonde Moment” ?
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O-o-ops!
Please pardon my spelling Ms. Chong.
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Ms Cheong? I like it. Sounds better.
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Hugh Jass
hugh Ass sounds even better!!
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good morning
I’ve been away on holiday, and have come back to discover this little stoush. At first I was almost excited, but the feeling passed after a few moments and was replaced with ennui.
I don’t recall my comment – was it posted on this site? It doesn’t sound like anything that Fairfax would publish. I vaguely recall the article, in which Ms. Chong complained about how she wasn’t accepted in Perth. In that context my comment still stands.
If Ms Chong wants to debate a comment I made here, then she should do so on this site.
If it was published on this site I am surprised that Ms. Chong has got riled about it. If she choses to put herself in the public eye, then she can expect some criticism from those that find her self-promotion tedious. The entire nature of blogging is that such criticism can be made anonymously without censure. The formal media is far too cowed by Ms. Chong’s legal reputation to dare to libel her.
Unfortunately her challenge to a debate in public only highlights her insatiable desire for publicity and her overblown sense of her own rightiousness, and would no doubt offer her the opportunity of getting her hair in the newspapers again. I expect she would drag along some toadies from the local meeja to record the event and comment on the fashion on view. As tempting as the offer is, I am reluctant to give her the oxygen.
I am also aware that attempting to enter a debate with one of the State’s foremost lawyers is as foolish as stepping into a boxing ring with Mike Tyson. I like my face the way it is. I also know that if I no longer speak anonymously Ms. Chong is the sort of person who is not above SLAPPing me with a writ.
I just checked my pants, and was comforted to discover a functioning pair of Kahunas nestled there (ref Twop passim). They are small, but they are all mine. I prefer to keep them there, where I can fondle them in private, rather than waving them around in public in response to some jejune challenge to my manhood. I have no problem admitting to being a coward. I am also comfortable with being called gutless, lily-livered, and other schoolyard taunts.
I didn’t like being compared to the KKK. If Ms. Chong wanted a simile, I would have preferred to have been compared to the SLA since I am an anarchist at heart and I look good in a beret.
I actually used to own an Armani jacket, and I thought I cut rather a dash in it. It was very eighties, with big shoulder pads. I looked like a gigolo linebacker.
I might consider a more lighthearted debate at the Charles if certain legal waivers were proffered. I would also prefer to retain my anonymity, perhaps by wearing a Nacho Libre-style wrestling mask, which would go well with my Armani jacket and would be sure to make the fashion pages.
Ms Chong has challenged ‘to debate any topic’, and in that case the only subject I would consider would be:
“This house believes Patti Chong to be a self-agrandising opinionated self-righteous sanctimonious windbag.”
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Ms Chong’s response to Hugh, in which the gag inherent in the name appears to have gone over her head, leads me to be firmly of the opinion that we are not dealing with the real self-aggrandising, opinionated, self-righteous, sanctimonious windbag, but a mere sock-puppet.
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Actually having a quick look at la Chong’s blog, I have to say that it is indeed almost all windbaggery.
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Several have emailed me to claim that it’s a faux Chong, but as i say, that may be better. We’ve got enough faux Paul Murrays, so a faker Chong and even a faker Barra would be very welcome.
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Like you said, who the fuck would pretend to be Patti Chong?
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Hugh Ass is a very dear friend of mine Patti, a SLAPP-write is on its way to you.
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it has occurred to me that Patti Chong herself may be a fake. I am not sure she actually exists.
I believe her to be a media construct, who is represented in public by an unemployed male circus acrobat in a fright wig.
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On the subject of the second Naglazas review, does that mean we can now expect a follow up piece on it by the Angry Whopper? I wouldn’t be surprised if he farted one out – there were lots of quotable quotes in there that could be lifted with the cut and paste device.
By the way folks, the Angry Whopper’s little doggie isn’t called Rupert…..maybe it’s called Patti
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You mean Patti Chong is the world’s foremost Patti Chong impersonator? Should she be called The Australian Patti Chong Show?
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I believe that there was a Patti Chong Lookalike contest during the Fashion in the Field at Ascot and Patti placed third, so she is not even the best PC impersonator in Perth.
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Jeez I had 30 people online at the same time on this one. hasn’t been that hot since Carps fucked up the election.
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and respect to Naglazas for his almost pathological attacks on ‘Australia’. He has displayed the sort of relentless venom and sarcasm in front of which I can only stand open-mouthed in admiration.
he was the only Aussie reviewer not to kiss up to the movie as if it was some required act of patriotism, and he deserves his moment in the sun. David Strattion should hang his head in shame.
here’s one of my favourite reviews from overseas:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2008/dec/22/baz-luhrmann-australia-film
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I knew Skink does not have the balls to take up the challenge.
A coward by any name is still a coward.
I rest my case!
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I at first blush am the REAL Patti Chong. As I was walking my little doggie (Armani) around Allen park, I thought that I, Paul Murray, as an expert on everything, could, let me say at the outset, do a better Chong than Ms Chong herself at first blush. Struggling to get into the pink power suit I purchased from Archie Mrtin in 1974 is, at first blush, a little bit of a squeeze, but let me say at the outset that I, Paul Murray could out-windbag Ms Chong from arsehole to breakfast as they say at The Armani factory.
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“Patti Chong
Hugh Jass
hugh Ass sounds even better!!”
Better than “Huge Arse” ??
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The original comment was here.
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Dear P Nurry
Given Ms Chong has balls, then its only fair that I can have ovaries. And it is because I have these ovaries and connecting fallopian tubes that I can also argue about just about every subject under the sun – including what it’s like to be a woman.
Of course Pam Moselless has written ad nauseum about the difference between the sexes, but her witty discources (which I will defend to the death as she doesn’t work for Rupert) are nothing when compared to the authoritive words which ooze from my pieces.
Angry Whopper? Well yes, I’ve been in a sandwhich (if you know what I mean). And do I undersand clitoral stimulation? Well of course – I’ve read Penthhouse. Even tried to lift 2000 words from one of those letters to the editor once describing how much fun it was being gang-banged and sodomised by some well hung klu klux klanners outside of the Guilford chapel while I was a menstrating teenager. Unfortunately Paul (now Bob) wouldn’t accept the article – he said it wouldn’t auger well in a family publication that was intent on showing five dead Palastinean women who had been blown up by the Israelis as part of Hebrew justice or a bunch of kittens at the cat haven being prepared for the chopping block.
Indeed, I would argue with sister Chong that the KKK doesn’t hide behind anonimity. After all, just because they have hoods over their heads it doesn’t mean that we don’t really know who wants to lynch the niggers.
I’m proud to be a woman – to be in the same gender as Meryl Streep and the rest of the lady actresses from Mamma Mia. But don’t get me wrong – I am not a feminist, even though I can write oodles about carpet eating butch lezzos in overalls with short haircuts and fat arses. Even those bitches are too extreme for the likes of me, the fucking hypocrites……
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Blimey Ning. Even I [at first] blushed at some of that!
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now that’s three times that La Chong has challenged my Kahunas, and regardless of the fact that I think it is a thinly veiled attempt to out me, possibly by the usual suspects, I can no longer stand idly by whilst my testicles are demeaned.
If Patti is so obsessed with my balls, then she can lick them once I have humiliated her in open debate. If her debating skills are similar to her punctuation and command of tenses, then I have little to fear.
Her first posting said “on any topic”, then she changed it to a topic of her choosing. The topic will be the one I suggested, and the venue will be the Charles, or not at all.
if it is the real Patti, then write to LA, who has my address. I am happy to give you my name, address, phone number, inside leg measurement, and a signed polaroid of my bollocks.
bring it on.
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in your dreams, Skink that any woman would like your balls.
the topic shall be :”why is Skink such a bitter, twisted and negative misogynist/people hater?”
Brisbane Hotel it shall be.
Bring it on!
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I move that from now on testicles and ovaries shall be collectively known by the term “Huevos”. I also plead for more references to said huevos. My Ning?
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I’m all Heuvosed out Mr Ljuke, but do you think Patti and Skink would agree to fight it in a topless mudwrestling competition?
Oh baby, bring it on…..
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I think I would agree to not attend.
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clearly not the real Patsy – a real lawyer would not forget what was said just minutes earlier. I am beggining to suspect it may be Hoey in disguise – the broken strands of argument are familiar.
the issue in contention was my assertion that Ms. Chong is a sanctimonious windbag. I am happy to argue that in open debate as a point of fact , and if Ms. Chong wishes to defend herself against the allegation, then she can. If she wants to do it through Fairfax, then Roy Fleming knows who I am.
I am not a misogynist, but I plead guilty to being a misanthrope, especially of egotistical hypocrites. If I feel like something bitter with a twist I generally order a Negroni.
she can sling insults back and forth on this blog if she likes, but I might bore of it rapidly.
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By the way, if you go into Skink’s above-mentioned Guardian film review site, you’ll find some reviews for Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia. Apparently they’re having a Peckingpah retrospective over in Old Blighty…..
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Patti that really is you isn’t it! How amazing! If only the real Paul Murray would go this mental here!
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There’s some great stuff on that site. Also, this dissapointing headline:
News: Marley & Me is top dog
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I knew something would happen if I went away.
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he he – patti chong licking the cojones of skink in the front bar of the Charles
That’ll get front pages everywhere and put paid to her run for parliament.
terrifying that the Liberal preselection process should be outed so openly
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But it didn’t a sel confessed Chairsniffer/BraStrap Snapper from becoming State Treasuer though :-)
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my swingers have not been subjected to so much scrutiny and ridicule since an unfortunate occurrence of ‘Chernobyl fallout’ whilst playing soccer in 1992.
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bobbitt!
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Patti,
all I can say is that business must be quiet if you have time on your hands to respond to this rubbish.
we all checked out your website but were disappointed to find that it is still under construction. Perhaps your spare time coudl be spent finishing it off.
If the website is as luscious as the wallpaper, then it will be worth the wait
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Despite there being ample evidence that these posts are eminating from the bowels of the Chong legal practice, somehow I doubt that a lawyer of her standing woukd give such a one-worded reply.
Methinks that a junior staff member, with or without the knowledge of Ms Chong is making the posts in this and the original thread.
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BZB from
http://www.busybee.norg.com.au/
claims
“Patti Chong once threatened me with legal action for daring to criticise her dress sense and calling her a media tart on my blog. Hilarious”
Patti, is it true you once threatened to sue your own hair?
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So we’re not having a debate?
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If Ms Pong wishes to be on my team at this debate then she is more than welcome to. I know her strategy too well , things going a bit quiet especially at this time of year ,so start some phony controversy. Gee whiz this interthing works slow : Skunk posted his missive back in September and here it is January. that we have this Roast Skunk Pong off ,Big Balls Out . Further proof that the interthing just doesn’t work and that these matters should be left to the experienced and professional hands of us Big Media types. I know you communists will say that Big Media is merely the propaganda arm of the military industrial complex like it was some kind of mantra , but somebody has to be in charge and that’s me : General Potty.
Ms Pong , despite being of multicuntural persuasion and a woman to boot , working for Fairfu.. Fairfu …. the oppostion , runs an admirable line of argument I cannot fault with the threat of legal proceedings enlivening matters tremendously and clarifying the minds of all involved.
A couple of tips for Ms Pong : I’ll inform her of the subtleties of Aussie values and customs prior to commencement of the debate and be warned Ms Pong the opposition may descend to bon mots of the form of “ fuck off “ if they are losing. Be aware also that Skunk has drunk deeply at the well of the Nurraysheres and thus knows many of the tricks of the tradie. Skunk ,of course, is revealed to be a total coward with his last conclusion being that he loves his balls and hopes to hold onto them into the foreseeable future, and as is true with all Macca’s members he is a free rider on society not willing to sacrifice his blood and guts for its good and our entertainment. This is an issue I often struggle with but life is war my friends , and so that’s why I sit here at my typewriter encouraging it.
Poor old Ron Bare- assi. Macca’s members are a collection of the differently abled who have special “insights” into their upside down world. Come on out you cowards and get your balls ripped off by the Mighty Pong.( hat tip Bob Dylan)
I suggest the topic be that hoary old chestnut “ Why the Weld should not accept women as members “ ; because they haven’t got one ha ha. Ms Pong and I would be on the affirmative. I’ll outline my line of argument with an anecdote.Tip to young players :there’s nothing more conclusive in argument than an anecdote.Sir Binkie Huckerstep after a full day of refreshment at the Weld one night dropped his trousers bentover and said “Here boys have a slice of this “ What would the young innocent gels of today do in a situation like this had they been present . Gels don’t need to know about the rough and tumble of the world. They are sweet and innocent creatures given to us blokes for our pleasuring as Ms Pong knows.
That would be my line of argument and with a line like that how can we lose.
Finally I hope the nights proceedings end with all of us going down to the Supreme Court and , as is the tradition with the Weld when receiving the infrequent adverse decision or on an especially festive occasion , pissing on its steps.
Now the sun is past the yardarm so wack “Let’s dance” on the record player,charge your glass and get down and boogie.
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Which one though, you have the choice of Chris Montez, David Bowie, or Chris Rea :-)
Methinks youi’d go for the Chris Montez one :-)
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=NouLimmuMQU&feature=related
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I note that there has not been an appearance of Ms Chong today, or her sock puppet.
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maybe the sock puppet is Sunili? she is a lawyer after all…
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Though she doesn’t work for La Chong, but I believe is employed by the Supreme Court
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Sooooo, no debate?
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perhaps she’s Chicken Cong
or maybe she found out about the Streisand Effect
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Chicken Chong, that should read
my beautiful alliteration marred by a typo
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Skunk and The Lazy Arse-sie
no, not a coward like Skunk. just been busy putting away criminals like you lot!
Debate topic: The Worst of Perth are the People on The Worst of Perth Blog…
Brisbane Hotel.
no ring-ins, no Priscillas,no pretenders.
3 statutory declarations from employer, banker and lawyer to attest to the identity of Skunk with photo identification.
Moderator to be Gary Adshead from The West
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sounds like a shallow stunt to serve a writ
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I agree.
She thinks she is Tom Percy in a dress, but she comes across like Lionel Hutz :-)
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For the love of God, please let this go ahead. Poor Skink was cheated out of a bottle of Howling Wolves last year, it’s high time we had an excuse to bestow him with vast quantities of liquor.
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hmm, that sounds HIGHLY Defamatory, doesn’t it Patti..
Or is this a case of Pots & Kettles.
You CANNOT have it both ways.
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In that case we need Michelle Roberts to Moderate with the liquor presented to Skink by her youngest daughter :-)*
*Midlandia knows what I’m referring to :-)
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For God’s sake. This is like fantasising about who you would have to dinner (at my table: Mao, Gutenberg, Ingrid Newkirk, Hannibal Lecter MD and Edward Louis Bernays)…
It is tantalising and would probably be memorable, but will never happen.
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Oh and Cookster will be in charge of the PR, and the Fecking Outrage will organise the Media posse :-)
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No Chatti I fear Skink’s balls are too important to him, but I have a solution . Purely in the interests of entertainment let’s put aside , merely for the duration , any talk of litigation. I know this is a radical solution and completely unbecoming of a lawyer of your stature but it is one way through this impasse.
Also isn’t having the debate topic: “The Worst of Perth are the People on The Worst of Perth Blog ” a bit pissweak and self centred. You can have a forum for dumping a bucket on the WorstofPerth but at least have some content. I like Sir Potty’s or LA’s debate topics much better or one of the other topics covered in depth on this blog. e.g Bogans , urban sprawl , the rain of She-Ra , the “art” of Perth ,……
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An Australian Classic dedicated to Ms Chong :-)
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=UduuxKdPt9Q&fmt=18
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Also I forget to mention that anger decreases your IQ by half.
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And Patti’s dedication to us :-)
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=j0lfCcbQPyk&feature=related
Note that the F Word is not mentioned in the song because it was shot for TV.
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With Frank on the turntable at the debate.
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Frank: In that case we need Michelle Roberts to Moderate with the liquor presented to Skink by her youngest daughter :-)*
Damn straight, Frank. Besides, considering Roberts’ position as the Shadow Education Minister, her presence will be most appropriate; Skink may well teach Patti a thing or two. The amount of things taught and the number of curse words used in the process depends upon whether he’s given the bottle before or after the debate.
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Edward Louis Bernays? did he invent the sauce?
he’d be handy to have at a dinner party
perhaps you could also invite Paul Newman, Alexander Downer, Bernard Salt and Daile Pepper, then you’d never run out of condiment.
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What’s Alexander Downer providing, Skink? Oil?
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Patti Chong
“no, not a coward like Skunk. just been busy putting away criminals like you lot!”
TWOPers can’t even put away a bottle of rough red.
It’s just not done, yeh know!
Drink up Dahlings.
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Alexander Downer is the Member for Mayo
keep up
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since everyone is making fun of my name (although no ‘skank’ today) I have changed it to something more appropriate
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He WAS the member for Mayo, and is now holding some sort of diplomatic post in Turkey.
Mind you had he lost his seat in a few years back, the member for Mayo would’ve been former Redgum lead Singer, John Schuman :-)
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Schumann is a genius
I highly recommend his arrangements of Lawson poems
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I accept the error of tenses with regard to Downer, but counter by pointing out that Downer is attempting a diplomatic solution in Cyprus
expect war to break out any minute
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Skink: Alexander Downer is the Member for Mayo
Ahhh yes, he was! Mind you, I stand by my ‘oil’ comment. Keating! The Musical lambasted him as a ‘greasy-cheeked freak,’ after all.
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And he had that silly kind of nasal twang best described as Mayo-Naise.
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He’s been safely shunted off the local scene to do the GG’s bidding in Cyprus.
Which is really a paid holiday.
Sinecures Rule! OK?
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Vis-a-vis PC’s great debate:
Debate topic: “The Worst of Perth are the People on The Worst of Perth Blog…”
Hasn’t she noticed that she herself is a blogger? Maybe she doesn’t see herself as “people”, which could well be true.
Besides, if she argued the affirmative she would lose as some of the worst people in Perth (like Paul Murray, Colin Barnett, Richard Court, Eoin Cameron, Adam Spagnolo, Noel Cretin-Brown, Graham Kierath, John D’Orizio) have yet to blog. How could any of these people realistically be omitted from any worst of list?
And Adshed as the adjudicator? He aint no Jim Lehrer. If it has to be someone from The Worst, what about Pam Moselles instead (I can hear her now: “Now wait a minute dearies, stop fighting.” and “This is no place for naughty swear words”, and “Who on earth is Walter Winchell?”)
Any way, fuck The West – I think we should have Max Kaye or one of those film reviewing guys from the community TV station to run the show.
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What about Moose from Moose Goes Live?
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La Chong originally proposed Roy Fleming from WAToady as moderator, which was understandable since he employed her as a columnist.
I wondered why she changed allegiance to The Worst, but looking at WAToady is seems that the lights are on but nobody is home.
None of their bloggers have posted anything since before Christmas. There was so little local content that they posted the same Sattler blog twice and still appear not to have noticed.
Currently Chalpat Taxi Driver seems to be holding the whole thing together on his own – no sign of the Bedwetter or Shallow Spice.
Perhaps Fairfax have just given up.
Maybe they sacked Patti and so she is trying to get a regular gig on TWOP.
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Shallow Spice was on Today Tonight last night talking about the Brides from Hell making outrageous demands on their bridesmaids on such matters such as boob jobs and Botox so as not to outsihne the bride.
Sattler is on Holidays, and returns on 6PR next Monday in an EXPANDED 2-6pm timeslot – that’s right FOUR hours of Sattler.
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Surely She-Ra is the obvious choice for moderator.
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But La Chong doesn’t want any Competition from another WOMAN with a higher profile than herself.
It’s ALL about Patti – who makes Rose Porteous look like Mother Theresa.
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And why is La Chong draining all comments away from her own blog on Fairfax and directing them here? AND
“making outrageous demands on their bridesmaids on such matters such as boob jobs and Botox so as not to outsihne the bride.”
So is that boozie reductions to not outshine the bride?
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here’s an article that Patsy should read before trying to get all medieval on my arse:
http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/12/26/opinion/edmorozov.php
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I should point out that the daughter in question is around 9-10 years of age and was taking great pleasure of serving everyone’s drinks at the combined Swan Hills/Midland State Election Bash, and was noted by Midlandia in the Election Day live Blog.
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Ixnay on the uvenilejay aitressway. I understand Liquor and Gaming are watching…
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It was a private function, and ths no liquor licence was required – Liquor & Gaming would be too foolish to act on it hence if a minor liberal party person was doing the same thing :-)
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Never underestimate the foolishness of Liquor and Gaming. Ever tried to take a pint from inside the Scotsman to the outdoor seating area?
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One would hope that Liquor and Gaming have better targets than this young tyke. Besides, by the sounds of it, they’re too busy giving Bento a headache at the Scotsman!
As I mentioned on the other blog, I started out the night on water. As the night wore on, and Julie Bishop sounded more smug, I was overcome with the need to ask Roberts Junior for a glass of wine.
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And then the gin.
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Surely this isn’t the real Chong, I mean wouldn’t someone intelligent enough to become a lawyer could (or should) understand the ass joke?
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HOAXED!!!!
TWOP WillY Wankers have been well and truly hoaxed just like Windshuttle in the Quadrant!!
Haha! The joke is on you boys! Go play with each other’s willies.That’s all you are good for.
Do you think for a moment the real Patti Chong is even interested in you guys? Don’t flatter yourselves.
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Must be the heat or something but certainly there’s an extra amount of dumb in the air. We don’t care whether you are the real Pong or not. Any number of Asian transvestites who visit this site would make good Pong impersonators. Let the debate go forward with Pong and Skink (artist formerly known as ) fakes : even more better than the real thing.
And get Windschuttle’s.name right , and think carefully about the time , thought and energy that went into that hoax. That hoaxer had an important point to make ; you however are a self centred boring troll.
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I believe that that Colin Barnett is dropping his war on bongs and is starting a war on Chongs instead.
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Statistically there is virtually no difference between a fake Chong and a real Chong. Chong is Chong. The ip address mapping back to the real Chong website, raises the even more delicious possibility of Chong on Chong vis a vis real and fake. A real Chong pretending to be a faker Chong…it just doesn’t get any sweeter.
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Like I said, most likely a staff member either a bored graduate, or a lowly secretary has done this without the knowledge of Ms Chong.
LA, have you considered contacting Patti herself for comment ?
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I’m a better hoaxer than Chatty Pong.
WMDs in Iraq?
Johnny Howard even fell for that one.
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That sounds even MORE like the real one.
Let’s consider the pros and cons vis a vis pro vs faux Chongs
Pro. The ip address maps back to pattichonglawyer.com
Con: Would a real professional spout such gibberish?
Pro: Another blog claims that the real Chong threatened legal action over similar comments found when Ms Chong was “goggling” herself.
Con. What the fuck?
Pro: The Skink comments were from months ago. It appears that the comment was found by someone goggling themselves as per other blog.
Con: Would a lawyer really have so much time to crap on?
Pro: The hair.
Con. I have to go back to What the fuck?
Pro: “Do you think for a moment the real Patti Chong is even interested in you guys? Don’t flatter yourselves.” Sounds even MORE like a real Chong realising she may be coming across as a bit of a plonker.
I think that pro has a pretty good case.
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It might be time for Inside Cover to become involved as they know how to flush people out :-)
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The IP address is the kicker. Either Mr. Chong is going to come out looking like a plonker, or some staffer is going to be taken aside for a quiet chat. Either way, magnificent.
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Skink : 1 Troll : 0
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Re: Inside Cover
Yes, someone should bring this to Adshead’s attention given his name was dropped by the so-called Chongster.
Problem is The Worst will have to acknowledge this site again and, given the recent gag order Paul had on TWOP, it seems highly unlikely it’ll want to do that.
Pity – there are some papers that can’t see a good story if it comes up and bites them on the arse and the Worst is one of them….
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But alas Adshead isn’t the editor of IC :-(
Though this would make a good story on the Sunday Crimes, who love ANY excuse to bag The West :-)
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Totally agree LA. I thought it must be the real Chong as soon as I read HOAXED – I mean, if you’re a pretend Chong why would you get so angry over comments made about someone else. I’d say if you are pretending to be someone else you would be far more comfortable in your own pretend skin than that. You’d have far more fake self-esteem than to take umbrage at a comment about your fake self on a blog site.
Real Chong pretending to be a fake Chong does raise an interesting point though; that she thinks that we would believe there are people out there who a) are pretending to be her and b) are prepared to defend her honour whilst they are doing it.
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I predict “Patti Chongs” next post will contain a statement along the lines of her mail server/internet being hacked by someone trying to “ruin my reputation”
Patii, you’ve done that all on your own without ANYONE’s help :-)
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Frank – Adshead is listed as editor of IC in today’s rag…I think they take it in turns
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Geez, Mr Dixie Marshall aka Luke Morfesse must have left a big hole in IC to have it edited by more than one person.
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Frank, re: LA, have you considered contacting Patti herself for comment ?
No, because I just don’t care if it’s a Pro Chong or a Faux Chong, or to spiel it Chongwise,
Does the lazy aussie care if it’s a fake Chong? Does he fuck. Don’t flatter yourself.
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Gregor Samsa has
Same number of syllables
As Patti Chong.
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Speaking of syllables Outrage, did you count those?
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D’oh.
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That’s why Forkie’s back, He can smell the haiku.
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‘As Patti Chong has’ doesn’t scan as well.
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And excellent analysis Golden1 , but don’t go too far into Bizarro World , as there’s no way back.
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There’s a PMH pdf which I can’t seem to link to, which has paintings by both FWC Barra and Patti. for fundraising. (And a Rotto pic by Ryan Campbell, Outrage). The Chong description is appropriately outre. She uses her tongue.
ADRIAN BARICH
Sports Reporter/Presenter
Channel Seven & 6PR
Painting Title
Inauguration
Description
“I am represented here in the
Eagles’ first ever AFL match in
1987 against Richmond. The final
score is also featured.”
Profile
With a football career spanning
14 years, Adrian has played 289
games, is a member of WA’s
prestigious 200 Club and was
voted Footballer of the Year by
the WA Media Guild in 1994.
After being recruited from the
ACT, Barich had an immediate impact at WAFL level before
proving himself as a robust midfielder for the West Coast Eagles.
Making a smooth transition from footballer to sports journalist,
Adrian has been a television sports reporter and presenter since
1995 and has written an expert football column for the West
Australian newspaper since 1993. Adrian continues his sports
reporting and presenting role at Channel Seven Perth, as well as
continuing his long history with 6PR.
PATTI CHONG
Principal of Patti Chong Lawyer
Painting Title
Licked Naturally, by Patti Chong
Description
Using all natural fruit and vegetable
juices, Patti has used her tongue to
lick the juices onto watercolour
paper which were then placed onto
the canvas.
Profile
Flamboyant lawyer, charity
fundraiser and lover of all things
beautiful.
If you goggle Patti chong lawyer, it comes up mid page with the title of “Let’s paint a better future for the kids”.
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When I googled patty chong I got “under construction”.
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Is that what the kids are calling gender reassignment surgery these days?
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Fun loving criminals?
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Does this mean Hoey works for Chong ? as all the posts are emenating from the mail-server of her legal practice, or is it some employee who is pissed off at Patti for refusing him/her time off, or of Patti’s outrageous behaviour..
This sounds like a job for David “Fucking Ouitrage” Cohen :-)
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Hmm, am I in moderation becase I mentioned the “H” word ?
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sorry, I’ve been busy all day putting away criminals.
may I just take this opportunity to direct you back to my earlier posts that pointed out that Patti is only the third best Chong impersonator in Perth, and that it was more likely that these posts were by Hoey or some sock-puppet.
evidence:
1. poor communications
2. frequent non-sequiturs
3. occasion BlogTourette’s
4. understanding of the law
5. frequent moving of goalposts with respect to venue, moderator and subject of proposed debate
6. refusal to enter into personal correspondence on the matter, despite being given routes through which to contact me
7. mistaking Gary Ashead for a serious journalist
8. er…
9. …that’s it
so Patti, the sock puppet, and everyone else for the matter, can kiss my hairy balls, or ply me with alcohol, or preferably both.
the motion is passed in the affirmative
thank-you and goodnight.
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It’s not Groggy as none of his favourite subjects were mentioned (porno, lesbians or government grants ) nor was there a complete loss of control at the end. It all points to
1. somebody who intensely dislikes the artist formerly but now known as Skink.
2. somebody very close to , or even , Ms Pong herself.
The other possible psychos we can exclude are the “Miss Nude has no nipple” characters since Skink didn’t comment on that one.
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how could anyone ‘intensely dislike’ little old me?
I am cute and lovable and full of the milk of human kindness
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skink said
“how could anyone ‘intensely dislike’ little old me?
I am cute and lovable and full of the milk of human kindness”
You should have put that statement in quotation marks and added an attribution, skink.
It’s really just good netiquette.
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Sweet and sour pork
Patti Chong come jump on Fork
Identity rort
….I love the smell of Haiku in the morning….
Patti Chong “幺二”
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是不是La Chong?我不知道。疯了吗？
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……..hmmmm dont be so confused Lazy……to coin a phrase…..”the truth is out there”………
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And perhaps even狂 rather than 疯?
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I wonder if Patti is busy attempting to translate?? as I could safely assume that she has absolutley no knowlegde of Mandarin………………..come on Patti SURPRISE me…..I dare ya!…….
Lazy….concieted YES!……INSANE YES! YES!
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Come on Patti!!!!…………….or Lazy and I will go all South Korean on your ass!!!!
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Good Haiku FB. Reviewing my previous line of reasoning I realise I have been drinking deep at the well of the Nurraysphere myself , and Skink if you see a Crusty the Clown pop-up on your computer you have ten seconds to get out of the building.
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Chong is mistaken.
Skink indeed possesses borls;
They’re merely sagy.
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And Patti for 3 days – I wonder if this blog will be the subject of her first column back for 2009 ?
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Pingback: Weekend Worstoff 38 « The Worst of Perth
What happened to La Chong?
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The staffer got rumbled?
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I am not very tech savvy, but how hard would it be to simply type in La Chong’s email address into the reply window?
does the IP address show up – can the posts be tracked back to an actual machine?
I am starting to ponder LA’s comment that it was odd that a troll would track back to something said over three months ago. I want to believe that it really was Patti, and that she got cold feet when she realized that she was unlikely to come out of this with her dignity intact, and so pretended to be a fraud. Believing in that gives me a warm glow of triumph.
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You can put in any email you like. it’s the ip address that tracks back to a machine and a domain which is the same domain as the La chong website, so it’s almost certainly her.
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my glow of triumph has ignited into a righteous flame of sanctimony
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can a glow ignite?
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mine can, if you blow on it
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LA , you’ll find that the IP address of pattichonglawyer.com is the same as atcom.net.au , in other words atcom host PatPong’s website , so we are no closer to solving the “mystery” ( who really gives a rat’s) except to say it’s somebody at atcom.
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Um, WHOA, this will teach me to stop neglecting TWOP for a week!!!!
I hope this was real so that there’s a debate. Cause I love skink and I love patti too. (And who would drop the c-bomb first?)
But I hope it was not real because it would be sad that my hero Patti Chong brought herself down to us scumbags who comment on blogs.
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who are you calling a scumbag?
you say you love me and then call me a scumbag?
that’s no way to behave
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Hey wait a minute , there’s something very familiar about your English Sunili or should I call you Ms Pong . Now I’m going to have to take back that statement about you being a self centred troll , and to add to my annoyance DFOC was right.
Further you are going to have to impersonate her at the debate..
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Hold the front page: Sunili has trashed her Facebook account.
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Bill the Howard Sattler isan Idiot blog got a “Comment from “Patti Chong”
I wonder if Malissa is one of Patti’s underlings ?
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No that was me trying to flush out the faker.(iinet address)
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Ahh, good work :-)
Move Along, Nothing to See Here :-0)
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Heehee! I remember Sunili’s articles in Quasimodo when I went to Notre Dame for a semester. She was a very talented writer, in my opinion.
Just thought I’d mention that.
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Ahh, I remember when Grok could look down on Quasimodo, and everyone could look down on Harambee. Those were the days.
These multiple identities are starting to blow my mind.
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Teh Outrage – what’s all this about Sunili’s facebook page? What you talkin’ about Willis?
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Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks, my man: she took down her Facebook and publicly declared on her blog she ain’t goin’ back. Crazy young kidz.
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I noticed that the number of bloggers on WAToodyay has decreased dramatically.
Fiona Stanley has thrown in the towel, and the Taxi Driver and the Bedwetter have also stopped.
Sattler and La Chong are still there, unfortunately
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If faux/pro Chong makes an appearance, we might even get to the magic half million views today rather than tomorrow.
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But haven’t posted since last year.
Have they finally realised non-one bothers to post comments ?
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I think all that hair gel and other crap she puts in has seeped into her brain.
BTW, did you see Liam from Lebanon’s thinly disguised attack on Labor ??
He must miss being the king of Talkback in Sleepy Perth.
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And of course Merry’s has already featured on TWOP
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in that photo I think she was testing one of Merry’s Lazy Boy reclining chairs
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Far more comfortable than a loose stool.
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Liam’s still far more prefereable than Nuzza – in fact he had a reasonable point when he sunk the boot into Ripper and Labor for squandering the boom.
And speaking of so-called columnists, what about Harberland from the burbs in the Grimes? Jeeezus – last week he misquoted the opening line from Apocalypse Now and then whinned about helicopters flying around beaches looking for sharks, saying they would make beach going Vietnam veterans have flashbacks. He even agreed with having shark nets around beaches. For fuck’s sake – what brain surgeon thought that one up? I thought I heard that Barnett agreed with this as well. I guess that would make sense given his penchant for dumb ideas.
To quote Nuzza, if this dill had bothered to do any research he would have found out that they pulled the old shark net in Dampier down when they realised, after 35 or so years, that they’re ugly, they need maintenance, they corrode, they restrict movement etc
Then, yesterday, Folksy Phil wrote some old toss about trades and universities. Not quite Nuzza, but put a few shirazes in him and get him on the subject of lazy boat people, ethnic enclaves and good ol’ kitchen table values and I’m sure he could come up with something almost comparable (at second blush, perhaps).
No joke, this place is becoming so dire that I’ve found myself reading the pious and fascist rantings of Piers Ackerman.
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I did wonder whether the Sunday Times had seen the sacking of Limpwrist as an opportunity to try and dominate the reactionary kneejerk bigot agenda with Bartlett, Milne, van Olserenenen and Fatuous Phil all shoehorned into the same space.
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The Crimes was always like that, but felt especially threatened once Limpwrist was appointed editor. But now threat has gone, normal redneckery can continue :-)
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You going to post the Chong link to Crikey Skink?
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I might just do that
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done
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By Greg Barns in Crikey:
“Another lawyer was in the media yesterday, but for very different reasons. In Perth’s Sunday Times, high profile WA lawyer and socialite Patti Chong, posed for the cameras to tell the story of how her marriage to the Deputy DPP Ken Bates had broken up, and how she gets to work at 3am because she is just so busy being a lawyer and tireless charity worker, and is single again. Chong was pictured in the paper’s magazine lying in a black velvet number, her head and hands resting on a pillow, looking like the tragic Cio Cio San in Madame Butterfly.
The interview with her by the Sunday Times reporter Wendy Caccetta could best be described as surreal. Her husband had been the prosecutor in the infamous case of Andrew Mallard, who was convicted of murder in 1994 and forced to spend 12 years behind bars before being found to have been wrongfully convicted by the High Court in 2005. The WA Crime and Corruption Commission has now made findings of misconduct against Bates for his role with holding material evidence from the defence in the case.
Chong blames the Mallard case for her marriage break up and seems to think that what has happened to her and her husband as a result of his being investigated by the CCC has been just as awful as the 12 years of hell Mallard went through! “What Andrew Mallard went through was bad enough”, said Chong, but “what Ken and my family went through is bad too.”
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I like that whether it’s a real chong or not, she still cops it.
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You guys are amazing. You must really be obsessed with Ms Chong. I don’t think I’ve ever read this much interest over her. How cute!
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We’re ALL Chong ALL the time.
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I have also been pondering La Chong’s comment in the Slimes that men were afraid to date her because they found her intimidating.
did it not occur to Patsy that men might not want to date her because she is MARRIED, and that since her husband is a prominent lawyer, they might get named during divorce proceedings?
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it should be pointed out that this thread was generated by Ms. Chong herself, hoisted on her own petard
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“looking like the tragic Cio Cio San in Madame Butterfly” , played by Liberace.
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Perth Now have published the La Chong Article.
http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,24937950-5012990,00.html
I wonder if this will be the subject of her TWAT Column this week ?
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Have you ever even met the lady?
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yes, I have met her at parties and have heard her speak at several events.
are you going to give us the ‘tireless worker for charity’ line?
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Nope, you’ve just done that for me. Cheers!
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looks like we have another troll
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I wonder if it’s emenating from the bowels of Chong Inc ? :-)
I’m sure LA can confirm this – and I’m wondering if this is all part of a viral marketing attack by La Chong to help clear her hubby from the stench of the CCC ?
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I wonder if Sattler is willing to divorce Despene so he can shack up with her – then we’d have Perth’s Worst Celebrity Couple :-)
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Leave Patti alone because she’s not well right now.
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If I was her and read all of this, I’d be worried about why you are spending so much time making these comments.
The only reason you could dislike her this much (without even knowing her) – is perhaps you did some “time” courtesy of her handy work in court.
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You got the wrong idea Randumb. We all love PatPong here.
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Just 5 more to 200 comments.
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random we are all prisoners of perth. But it’s not patti’s fault.
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Well it’s all too confusing. I think I’m out of depth – you guys are just too smart for me. If you know her and some of you like her, I still can’t figure out why such mean things are written. Laying the challenge isn’t such a big deal, it should be a game but it seems to have become so nasty!
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With all due respec’ Dummie if you want to see Nasty see Valkyrie ( despite Our Nic’s ex aka Shortarse). Prickin some media tart’s overinflated ego aint nasty.
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Someone has given Fairfax a right old serve on Sattler’s blog :-)
http://blogs.watoday.com.au/madashell/2009/01/the_year_of_liv.html
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OK it sounds bad, but remember it’s media. You don’t think they may have made it sound like that to create interest and comments like this? Who knows. I don’t think you should make comments about the innocent children – you don’t think they have enough to deal with?!
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Obviously you didn’t read the Perth Now article where Patti herself brought the children into the topic, who are named and their ages mentioned in the report.
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“while the Chong offspring were devouring their lunch orders at private school…” – is a little bit different, things they have no control over
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I’m temted to close the Chong conspiracy now that 200 comments has been reached. It’s distracting from today’s cunt poster item.
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I’m afraid that many of we commentors have little sympathy for anyone who seeks public acclaim by self aggrandizement and who then appeals for public sympathy when everything goes pear shaped as a consequence.
A case of: “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.”
Do tell us, Random, what kind of axe is it that you have to grind in this matter ?
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“OK it sounds bad, but remember it’s media. You don’t think they may have made it sound like that to create interest and comments like this? ”
Which media do you mean? The media that incessantly fawns over Mr. Chong, holding her above criticism? That media?
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Well thanks all, it’s been fun. Good luck at the pearly gates – or should you need a good lawyer some day!
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By definition, do innocent children have anything to worry about?
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Skink : 2 Trolls : 0
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I can’t actually find how to close comments.
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I can’t actually find how to close comments.
Don’t you DARE close it – we’ve already had a victory with Limpwrist, La Chong is next on the list, after Nurry.
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children are by definition innocent
like bystanders, who are always innocent bystanders:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=r2EirLJqghA&feature=related
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Ransom’s got a point. I hereby withdraw the reference to the kiddies and change it to…”devouring their lunches at university as grown ups”.
There! Is that better?
Did they even go to uni? How the fuck would I know? Did they even go to private school? Tell you the truth I didn’t even know she had offspring until I read the Grimes.
And if they are indeed innocent (which I do not doubt, even though I don’t know anything about them), doesn’t that kinda imply that they have suffered from the deeds of their parents? Not a glowing reference for mum and dad, is it…
Still, wasn’t it funny how the Grimes article appeared just after the first round of the above TWOP fun when the mystery blogger fooled everyone by pretending to be Patti Chong?
Coincidence or conspiracy?
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I am inclined to agree. Not a conspiracy perhaps, but La Chong has clearly embarked upon a period of brand management, and it is reasonable to assume that before embarking on her media blitz she did some web surfing to assess her internet profile.
and then she found us.
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“…..and then she found us.”
Poor innocent misguided child.
But, not any more 8D
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some readers comments on Perth Now:
http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/comments/0,21590,24937950-5012990,00.html
mainly is the same vein as this thread, apart from a few plants.
‘Sometimes people are so smart yet they have no common sense.”
and someone stole my Cheech and Chong gag
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For facebookers, Skink pwns patti again in picture form on TWOP fan page. http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30159164&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=43179839838&aid=-1&id=1229341533&oid=43179839838
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La Chong has outed herself on her TWAT Blog :-)
http://blogs.watoday.com.au/theverdict/2009/01/burn_perth_burn.html#comments
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Nofan has REALLY got La Chong upset :-)
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Why isn’t Bento calling good riddance to missing husband?
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And this does lay to rest any final doubts. It was the real la Chong here.
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Petty Patti throwing a tantie.
How unusual. Not.
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Got to agree with her on that last point. She’s very manly.
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Rolly, I’m liking all the Caravan crackpots link references. Very high on my worst lists would be caravaners doddling along making absolutely sure that you can’t overtake. I admire how they are totally committed to never pulling over, even if their speed should drop below 80k’s. Kudos to those cunts.
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“Rolly, I’m liking all the Caravan crackpots link references.”
Wot plurry references??
Pls explain.
My big fave, cunts in caravans ;)
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You mean like the John Williamson song “Old Farts In Caravan Parks”.
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Try toddling along at 90/100k’s along a windy road to have some smart arsed metrocentric hoon start to overtake on a blind bend, realise that he can’t make it, then try to slip back into line; but *between* the vehicle and the trailer.
I’ve had it happen with caravans and with a truck-trailer combo.
Even worse are the impatient know-it-all types who overtake, presumably because they think that you’re obstructing their free passage, and promptly slow down again because the road really isn’t suitable for the speeds they thought they could go at.
In any case, the posted speed limits are *maximum* at which one may legally proceed, *not* the required minimum.
But, what the hell is the fucking hurry? Life’s all to short to miss most of it in a blur of frenzied haste.
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Is that not you commenting on caravan forum? Another Rolly then I assume.
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WTF are you doing reading such arcane material?????
Sprung!
I confess it all ossifer.
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“You mean like the John Williamson song “Old Farts In Caravan Parks”.”
Best to remember that “There’s many a good tune played on an old fiddle”, Frank
And there’s a fair bit of fiddling going on amongst those with enough vitality and good sense left in them to get out of the suburban cesspit. 8D
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Just like La Chong found, the referrer stats never lie. I see anything that links here.
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Shit!
I should never have mentioned this perverted blog!
My reputation is ruined!
(Which, of course, is not a recent phenomenon.)
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Yes, they’ll see that you’ve been consorting with metrocentrics. When you get on the CB to let other caravaners know that you’ve managed to create a really satisfying tailback, you’ll just get silence.
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Most of the SOFs don’t listen out on the radio, anyway.
They get all offended by the mother truckers language.
It’s a source of wry amusement to me and helps to keep me alert to the potential dangers that some of the “lunatics-with-loads” pose to the public.
Richards Cranii are ubiquitous in their on road presence. You don’t find tooooo many of them on the travellers pages on the interwebs tho’. Most of the intellectually challenged ones have short attention spans and have great difficulty stringing more than a few obscenities together.
Unlike batty patti who can create long meaningless diatribes with the greatest of ease.
It’s when she tries to make sense that she comes unstuck.
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for the record, she is not more educated than me
(did she perhaps mean better educated?)
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And then there’s Rolly’s “Caravan to Vaccares” referrer faux pas
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Alas it is not I, as I live in Middle Swan for a start and I wouldn’t dignify myself by writing to such a rag. :-)
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Or should that be “Baravan to Vaccares” Rolly?
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Oh Cookster you NAUGHTY boy :-)
That’ll get La Chong going :-)
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Oi Cookster
are you calling me unAustralian?
I was wearing an Australian flag, just not the same one as you
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The Lazy Aussie
“Or should that be “Baravan to Vaccares” Rolly?”
Nice one if you can get it.
Hundreds of the damned things still in service and no-one wants to sell m one.
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They say Viscount, but I was born a Baravan man…
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Speaking of Viscounts – oh for the days when radio stations did their outside broadcasts on the beach or other location in a Caravan fully equipped to play vinyl records – none of this presenter with a small mixer plugged into a laptop triggering off the station’s mainframe of glorified mp3 files :-)
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There you go, TLA – the gravatar now shows the tow vehicle!!
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You could get an awesome tailback from here to Eeneabba with that mother!
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Yeah!!!!!
I was debating whether to go steam or diesel, but in view of the fire risks, water shortages and the possibility of using waste vegetable oil from the country’s fast food outlets to fuel it, I opted for the latter.
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Skink, you were seen dining on char grilled pig scrotum in a Korean Barbecue restaurant on straya day wearing nothing but a camo g-string and a pair of Russian snow boots – it’s a fucking outrage…
Almost as bad as my butcher running out of lamb chops and then trying to sell me rump steak at $12 a slice. Fucker…
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The last sentence in today’s La Chong post on Australia Day.
http://blogs.watoday.com.au/theverdict/2009/01/i_am_you_are_we.html
Peppermint Patti, Mr Pot, Meet Mr Black :-)
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Don’t take the bait, anyone!
Let it go uncommented, for the love of all things good.
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Livin , lern-u-taining and lopping with she for whom no publicity is bad publicity. I prefer the shiny gold of Japan Air Line stewardesses at the risk of being labeled latent by Skinko.
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I should clarify that statment by saying while there is no photo, Mr Ardon Jnr did attend the premiere, despite it being the night before his father was laid to rest.
No self-respecting wog would DARE do that until after 12 months have passed.
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Frank, I absolutely, point blank refuse to be gulled into defiling my mind by opening links to tWAt. So there!!!!!
Have *you* no self respect??
As for “No self-respecting wog would DARE do that until after 12 months have passed.” That might be true for ex-pats but not in the Mother Country, where many of the present generation appear to have given many traditional values the flick, more’s the pity.
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La Chong still has a chip on her shoulder as illustrated in the final paragraph of her reply to “Bushie”.
DIDDUMS !!!!!!
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So the scum is Skink right? just making sure.
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Men are beasts, and skink is skum.
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who is getting villified now?
can you rise above the scum? I thought the scum floated to the top. Maybe she means dregs.
for the record, I have never villified her on her blog. I do it on this blog. As a lawyer, you would have thought she would be more pedantic.
I have never villified her for her legal work, attempts at racial integration or her charity work, which are all admirable. If only she would do it silently. Why can’t she be a quiet achiever? It’s the aggressive narcissism that raises my heckles.
what exactly is her philosophy? get my mug in the paper as often as possible?
I have noticed that she has gone quiet on the debate thing, even though she outed herself.
I shall take that as a moral victory, just quietly. It’s not like I would want to brag about my achievement.
but I won.
this scum is on top.
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Well, we’ve previously discussed the implications of Asian girlfriends vis a vis the coming out process, haven’t we?
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Much like your moral victory when you lost out in the Howling Wolves comp, skink?
Press release of 26 October 1415 from the Armagnacs: “Our nobility may have been cut down at Agincourt, and we might have suffered a huge defeat at the hands of the perfidious English, but we have the moral victory because they cheated by using longbows.”
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“Scum at the top, dregs at bottom, but the middle excellent.”
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that’s Voltaire’s review of Howling Wolves Cab Sav 1778
he died shortly afterwards
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Talking of Armagnacs,
Does anyone know of a place that sells the stuff at less than 200% mark up?
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Devine Cellars, Beaufort Street, Inglewood (next to the Clock Tower) have a modest selection at reasonable prices
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I wonder what La Chong will say about this.
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Have you tried http://www.boozle.com.au Rolly?
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I like the scum of skink, it’s a far superior smoke to that of herring, but can seriously fuck you up my friends.
My guess is that Patti will put her mansion on the market, pack up the poddles and head to Toorak where people of her ilk are appreciated… hang on, has somebody already done that???
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Bento
Have you tried http://www.boozle.com.au Rolly?
Not on their listings, dear friend.
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Hmm, the “BigFan” comment has been deleted from La Chong’s blog !!!
Hmm………………………..
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Rollt – Sorry to hear it. That’s what you get for having such exotic (dare I say, metrocentric) tastes. What’s wrong with the Two Birds, eh?
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Metro??
Armagnac ????
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Not Two Birds = UnAustralian = Metro…
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correction on my recommendation of Devine – I went in there last night and there wasn’t any armagnac.
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The two birds flew over my head. What are they?
Pity about the armagnac; it is reputed to alleviate obesity and heart complaints when taken in small quantities.
On my income I feel that the quantities would be far too small to be efficacious.
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I would recommend cognac over armagnac. Some VSOP (Very Special Old Piss) will do wonders for the bile duct.
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The Two Birds have been spoken about here before, Rolly. You’ll recall someone cited a Tom Hungerford short story which mentions it: “The two birds got him” – being Swan and Emu.
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nothing to do with these two birds then:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/photos/2009/02/03/2481040.htm
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Phew. I was worried that was a link to Two Birds One Cup, skink.
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..how does that old saying go…2 birds in your pants is worth a lot of money….
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Or two birds in the bush is better than one with your hand (hat tip Kevin Bloody Wilson, if my memory of a childhood spent sniggering at songs about rooting can be relied upon).
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As a youth, Paul Murray used to weep in butcher’s shops.
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But now he has the finest wine known to humanity, Ljuke?
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The Lazy Aussie said
“I would recommend cognac over armagnac. Some VSOP (Very Special Old Piss) will do wonders for the bile duct.”
It’s a matter of taste, TLA.
Carefully and lovingly created aqua vita as opposed to mass produced hard liquor.
And in case you’ve forgotten, taste is what you had before you wrecked your sensibilities with cheap plonk, shit beer, bad herring, lousy octopus and dodgy electrolyte.
All of which comes, of course, as a direct result of the disconnect from reality engendered by metropolitan living.
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Ljuke, he’s preparing himself to forgive you…
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It’s “a crime against humanity”! Like the slave trade, genocide and torture.
Careful, youse guys: you might wake up in the Hague…
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Did she have an opinion on cyber plonkers?
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This is the opening sentence.
And this is the result of her “researcH, though she doesn’t mention TWOP or any of it’s members.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who is the biggest twit of all?
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What do you mean she hasn’t mention TWOP.
“Most have deep seated psychological, some even psychiatric, issues with some suffering from obsessive compulsive disorders.”
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By name she hasn’t – that statement could apply to the majority of the 6PR on air staff – except for Steve Gordon of course :-)
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With one mighty missive Ms PatPong has demolished the entire edifice of modern psychiatry …….. or maybe not.
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TLA, skink, Cookster, Bento et al: you are all eggers. Bad eggers.
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Pfft, Megan Meier just needed to harden up. Good riddance.
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Bento that is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read. She was 13 for Christ’s sake. Why don’t you do us a favour…
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Yeah but Dummie he won’t take his tablets.
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Aww he just says good riddance to anyone who dies. I don’t even know who that is.
This post will go to number one soon. About to overtake the brothel posts, which will only leave The Worst of the west and Fairfax, when turds go bad to overtake. Patti, you have to stop looking if you want it to fade away.
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Random, there are two options:
1. I harbour vehement ill-will to Sattler’s sainted mother, Fredrick Ardon Snr, and a 13-year old bullying victim who tragically suicided; or
2. As LA said, it is a poor-taste gag in which I am establishing a degree of form.
Relax.
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Wish me luck, Bento,
As you wave me good riddance:
Tears or a spray.
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There’d be a weekend worstoff special if you carked outrage.
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That’s quite an incentive, DFOC. Your own Weekend Worstoff Special, and a wake catered, no doubt, by Howling Wolves.
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Re Lance’s comments on confiscating the offender’s mobile phone and computer.
Oh real smart La Chong – haven’t you heard of Internet Cafes and phone boxes and SNAIL MAIL ??
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I think “He gave more than he took.” would be a good theme for wake.
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Howling Wolves, and lashings of Angry Whoppers for everyone.
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A hearse festooned with Australian flags (burning or no?). This is sounding like the TWOP event of the century – it’s a pity you won’t be there, DFOC.
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I put to you – that you are all secretly in love with Ms Chong. Does she even know who you are? Or do you just sit in cyberspace 24/7?
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Only during working hours, really. In the evenings I watch TV in my mother’s basement.
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There is a lady sweet and kind,
Was never face so pleas’d my mind;
I did but see her passing by,
And yet I love her till I die.
Her free behaviour, winning looks,
Will make a lawyer burn his books;
I touch’d her not, alas! not I,
And yet I love her till I die.
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Just as I thought. Social outcasts – misfits in society. And I thought “The Worst of Perth” referred to ugly things that happen in Perth…now I get it!
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[Just as I thought. Social outcasts – misfits in society. And I thought “The Worst of Perth” referred to ugly things that happen in Perth…now I get it!]
Mr Pot, Meet Mr Kettle. :-)
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I object!
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Diddums, if you can’t stand playing with the big boys, I’d suggest that you may prefer the playgroup known as WA Today :-)
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Originally I preferred it because there was more intellectual feedback and comments, however I think now some people from this site are visiting WA Today and leaving comments. So I figure, what’s the difference…
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“I object” ?
sounds like a lawyer talking, perhaps one who has had an irony bypass.
does it never occur to folk like Roderick Random that perhaps people on blogs use aliases because they are educated professionals, teachers, captains of industry, protectors of liberty, creative freethinkers, political activists, and other worthy people of repute.
it shows a certain feebleness of intellect to assume that everyone on the net is a dribbling sociopath, just because we talk shit all day.
some of us are smart enough to multitask. I can talk nonesense all day here whilst simultaneously doing a proper job involving difficult sums.
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and we all gave up leaving comments on WA Today (except for Patsy’s column), which is why the number of comments on their blogs has dwindled to nothing and half their bloggers have been fired.
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I haven’t left a comment since the moderator allowed skink to call Sattler a cunt and offer to euthanise him. It just seemed like shooting fish in a barrel after that (note, I do not endorse the shooting of fish, or any marine creatures, either in or out of barrels).
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Cookster. You have done something to your brain. You have made it high. If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. You will make it low. Why trust one drug and not the other? That’s politics, isn’t it?
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Jeezus, I’ve got the fucking fear!
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So you still think I shouldn’t close this one?
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oh no, don’t close it, this one’s still got legs
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Close it and La Chong will claim it as a victory against “Cyber Bullies & Cyber Stalkers”.
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Speak of Laura Norder, I think Dr Karl has spent too long at Curtin FM :-)
http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/criminals-to-wear-vests-when-doing-community-service-20090205-7ypd.html
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Chong outs us TWOPers!
Sociopathy abound!
Good riddance, youse pricks.
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unfortunately Karlo is just copying a scheme that started in the UK last month, based on American schemes. It’s the summer, all we get is British repeats.
some states make the offenders wear vests with their crime written on it” “murderer”, “thief”, “withheld evidence in court”, that sort of thing.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/3537894/High-visibility-community-service-vests-introduced.html
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Shine on you mighty Chong
Keep the spirit of Chong alive !
Never let the flame die.
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WordPress is hampering picture upload. Weekend Worstoff might be a bit late.
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God damnit, you’re letting us down! We thought maybe you were too busy setting up for the party tonight.
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La Chong’s latest column starts:”I recently read an article about cyber-bullying.”
and yet she did this two days before the West printed their feature
amazing prescience.
she can see into the future!
plagiarism before the fact.
Katie Hampson must be kicking herself for wastin so much time interviewing victims, police and politicians, when all she needed to do was cut and paste from Wikipedia
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Damn and blast. Keeps crashing everytime upload pic. Will try later.
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There are a veritable plethora of options, margeryx, but I’ll go with the Oxford Companion to the English Language, and suggest that as Churchill may have put it; this is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.
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Nope picture load still not work. Damn and blast.
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Megan Meier
I just don’t undertand why u acting like this.
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Ars gratia artis, Megan. We seek no financial reward.
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Don’t adjust your set. There are spectral problems at the station,
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art for art’s sake, money for God’s sake
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Who fucks arses?
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Patti, will you be at the celeb party for the opening of The Shane Warne musical on 20th march? If so I’ll see you there. (Remember, Armani has looked ridiculous since 1986.) I also hope to see other The Worst of Perth luminaries such as Adrian “FWC” Barich, Alan “Bondy” Bond, Dennis “cardboard cutout” Lillee, Simon “Big Kahunas” Beaumont, Bob “The Body” Maumill, Julie “The Frying Pan” Bishop, Peter “Nosferatu”Natrass, Lisa “She-Ra” Scaffidi, Howard “Riddance” Sattler, Todd “Disco Inferno” Johnson.
Apologies already from Steve “Walkley” Pennells, and Andre “The Cheeseburger” Rieu.
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I feel the balance tipping in my favour, like a big fat fucking retarded fucking black girl on a see-saw opposite… a dwarf.
(sorry Cookster and DFOC, I thought we needed to update the nerdy movie quotes)
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TLA – where in fuck’s name is my invitation? This is fucking outrageous!
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I just accept the comps, i don’t make the celebrities. If you have the Kahunas, you’ll be there.
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Alas, I only have cojones. But I’d be willing to accompany Ms Chong to protect her from those who might want to toast her marshmallows.
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Surely you must have some contacts? I’d prefer if you were there, because it appears everyone else will hate me.
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I’m the man who organises the VIPs, but can never be a VIP himself. Walking in the shadows of the famous. Yes, this is the life of a PR man – a different breed of cat.
Can’t I just be your date?
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I see ‘Mooner’ left a response on Patti’s cyber-bullying post.
It’s an arcane reference to a Bryan Ferry song, I think.
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I’m glad you didn’t leave a link. What about you teh Rage? can’t you wangle a VIP via the post. I need a friend. Patti and Barra are going to diss me from arsehole to breakfast.
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Apparently Mooner trolls downtown at the red light place. I always thought so.
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I’ll call Barra and tell him to look out for you. He’s lost a shit load of weight since he’s taken up boxing – pecs like fucking steel.
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Good one Cookster celebrity boxing there’s a thought.
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Jeezus, Barra, I hope I wasn’t out of line with that fat wog cunt crack. (Did I just write cunt crack? And I’m censoring Skink. Only in Australia1)
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So can I assume I WON’T be seeing John “The Cookster” Cook, David “the Fucking Outrage” Cohen, Rolly “The Metrosexual”, Bedford “The Flowerpot” Crackpot, Bill “the story of O” Slatter, Skink “Chong Scum”, My “The Laterite” Ning, Vick “The Osbonian” Demised, Poor “The feminist” Lisa, “Bete noir” Bento, Ljuke “The Iguane”, Frank “Calzone” Calabrese?
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These videos explain the only 2 ways that I could possibly get in:
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All I can say LA is load up with copious seafood splatter and a coupla litres of Sambucca before you go. Bring it on Barra the Boxer.
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Indeed,
perhaps she is trying to explain away the piss-poor performance of the DPP by suggesting that the system itself requires fixing, rather than requiring better lawyers.
http://www.thewest.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=77&ContentID=44326
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Does that 48% conviction rate include guilty pleas?
And sorry, skink, but I think you’ve done some mangling of your own: “Shouldn’t that be our system of law and process, or maybe law and procedure? Tenses are mangled.”
Tenses are mangled? Surely it’s pluralism that has been mangled.
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I was suggesting it might read better as: “isn’t it about time we looked at…”
pluralism? you’re suggesting she’s a socialist?
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What if they spar, and the victor loses?
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it’s his birthday, so Victor will soon be pissed and is bound to pick a fight, and may well lose.
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Not to be tasteless (moi?), but isn’t this idea of the opposing parties going into a private room and sparring until one triumphs the cause of many Family Court proceedings?
There’s a very satisfying circularity about proposing to solve such proceedings in the same way.
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indeed.
she starts by proposing that the adversarial system is flawed, and finishes by recommending the two parties are locked in a room and duke it out in an … erm… adversarial contest
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Metallica’s finest album is it not?
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I managed to get the entire track listing of “…and Justice for All” onto Patti’s blog, cheers, Vance.
http://blogs.watoday.com.au/theverdict/2009/02/and_justice_for.html
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they edited out Dyer’s Eve, still ten out of eleven
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I wondered why your post made even less sense than Patti’s, now I know.
outstanding work
we’ve had Doctor Who references and Metallica today. I can feel an outbreak of acne coming on.
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I was hoping this post was going to fade away.
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This post is bad, but what happened … etc.
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Armstrong is vanquished
Nurry has been told to shut up and try to write proper articles
Barnett is playing possum and pretending the state will run itself
so there’s not much to talk about except Chong and flagpoles.
it’s enough to make you do a Vidmar rant about this pissant town. Even the crap things are crap in a parochial second-rate way.
We need some world class crap that we can be proud of.
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.. an with more balls.
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Of the B & S variety or the Government House Kind ?
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I meant to reply to Frank but ol’timers got me.
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Another kid has killed themselves by jumping off a bridge because of cyber bullying – will you guys ever learn!?
My suggestion – read “How to win friends and Influence People”. It’s like a bible of how to be a better person. You just might be surprised and start to like yourselves more if you read it.
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Why are you cyber bullying these commenters?
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Mr Pot, Meet Mr Kettle :-)
And more to the point, People in Glass Houses.
Fecking Hypocrite :-)
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Here’s a thought experiment for you Dummie. You go to school an all the kids ‘n nat are being terrible to you. What a shit day. An the next day they’ve forgotten all about you and everybody carries on pickin on somebody else an playin neat games. Yeah !
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We have travelled a bridge too far.
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Pingback: And Chong On « The Worst of Perth
surely ‘How to win friends…’ is all a bit 1936?
I would be curious to know how Patti thinks she lives up to the Chapter entitled “How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment.”
personally, I think she should read Julie Bishop’s new self-help book:
“How I learned to just STFU and POQ.”
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if Patti thinks she is getting ‘cyber-bullied’ by this blog, she should take a look at Crikey’s blog ‘Pure Poison’
set up to expose intellectual dishonesty in the mainstream media, they take aim at Bolt, Blair, Albrechtsen et al, and parse their every comment.
Patti only gets a gentle ribbing, whereas Bolt elicits the sort of vitriol that has required Crikey to increase its moderation and apologise to Bolt for some of the ad hominem attacks from bloggers.
comparing Chong to Bolt in the league of self-agrandising sanctimonious windbags is however like comparing Fremantle Oval to the MCG.
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Pure Poison is a pure waste of time. They’ve already had to apologise to him about the comments. It was a big mistake that I don’t think will last long.
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you are right that it will die, but most likely because they can’t afford to moderate it properly.
I think that the premise of a forum where Bolt’s ramblings are challenged is a good one, especially since Bolt moderates out any counterargument on his blog.
surely it’s not so different to what this site does with Perth media, except that you don’t moderate it much, and humour is more important than intellectual rigour.
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And neither is more important than the correct use of apostrophes.
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Otherwise people see you dying in the paper.
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The comments on Pure Poison were often ranting hatred. We don’t really get that much here. I don’t need to moderate very often because it is generally civilised.
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Just the occasional ‘de-wincing’.
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This post will move into the most popular EVER in the next few weeks. Comments and views. Higher even than the worst of the west. Higher than brothel searches. Higher than alsatian painting.
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I have to admit it is my favourite thread. Honestly I haven’t laughed so much since grandma got her tit caught in the mangle (to borrow a phrase).
Have I missed the Chong vs Skink public stoush? If not I have the babysitters on standby – wouldnt miss it.
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if this thread does become the most popular ever, will you be sending Pessimal Patti some sort of award in acknowledgement of her achievement?
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actually, since this thread is also about me, perhaps I should get some sort of award.
or maybe a joint award. Patti and I could become some sort of Pearly King and Queen of Worst, ambassadors for all that is dismal and torpid.
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Yeah, why not.
You just took it over the 4 000 times opened.
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hilarious!
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Where is skink? I am ready for his report on Unleashing the Dragon – you’ll recall Patti Chong was giving a talk at Woodside today.
Brief us lovers of fine leather, skinkmeister.
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I imagine he is partaking of the compliments and free refreshments.
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er… regretfully work commitments got in the way, and I missed it.
actually, I couldn’t be arsed.
no compliments, no leather, no char siu bau, no guanxhi. The dragon stayed on his leash
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Seven Months ago on this very thread, Patti Patti challenged me to debate any subject with her.
since then I have debated many issues with her on her Fairfax blog, and invariably Chong chose the wrong side of the issue.
She supported tasers, and promptly the CCC decided to investigate their use.
She declined to support legislation to protect breastfeeding mothers, and government and opposition both acted in its support.
She supported Malgorzata Poniatowska as a win for women’s rights, and two days later she pleaded guilty to 17 counts of fraud.
She supported Chinese investment in Australia, and was a vocal advocate of the Chinalco deal, but has gone strangely silent about the Stern Hu affair.
there were many other issues, not least her bizarre support of Matthew Johns, where Patti was invariably argued into a corner by myself or by other contributors, at which point she would lash out with the venom of a scalded cat.
Today she announced she would no longer be contuinuing her Fairfax blog, and bleated about envy, negativity and bitterness. I leave people to read some of her ad hominem arguments on this thread and on her own blog, and judge for themselves.
In the end she has retreated and left me in possession of the field.
job done.
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skink wins! Yay!
You crushed her like a bug, skink.
She is ruing the day.
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Now we all know who has the bigger kahunas.
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Do you think she’ll swing by here to say goodbye?
Go on, Patti Patti – one last hurrah for old times’ sake.
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could you give us a ‘good riddance’?
just for old time sake
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Awaiting moderation…
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It appears the mods are quite comfortable with me bidding good riddance to Sattler’s dear departed mater, but less so when I direct it at Il Chong.
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I too appear to have been rendered persona non grata at the Peoples Republic of Chongland.
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much as I would like to take the entire credit for vanquishing La Chong, I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason for her dropping her blog is that she is soon to be joined in practice by her ex-husband and doesn’t want any avenue for criticism.
Fairfax may also have realised that there is an STD poster on the back of a dunny door at the Carlisle Hotel that has been read by more people than Chong’s blog.
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Chong and Armstrong despatched, but there are some still standing
and Nurry is now new and improved Yahoo powered Channel 7 cross-media advertising Nurry, with a new slack-chinned sour-faced colour photo byline that I will be using to discipline the children.
next!
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How the hell do your get your posts printed, and not mine? I even wished her good luck for the future.
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I didn’t get all my posts printed, and those they did put up are often edited, and sometimes take hours to get through moderation. I think it got to the stage where everything I posted got sent to the editor for approval. Maybe Chong got the arse because the editor was fed up having to vet every single post for possible coded insults. They were in a Catch 22 that if they bounced most of the contributions, there would be nothing at all on her blog, even less than Sattler. In the end there was only us and a couple of sock puppets who were posting.
as I said before, I have have long suspected that they have tired of La Chong and secretly enjoyed printing my jibes, as loong as they were not outwardly snarky. Even when I went through proxies and used different usernames and email addresses, they sussed it out but printed it anyway.
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This remains the best-ever comment on a Patti blog:
—
Don’t bother replying to those people who say you aren’t Australian. They aren’t worth a response.
I wonder how Australian they are, or whether they’re so angry they come out with whopper lies, whatever is the truth.
It will never be the same to all beef, Patti. Special sources? Let us choose or pick some dungeons and – Open Sesame! – they’ll see they’re bums.
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Who was the genius behind that?
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it’s genius. I can only sit open-mouthed in awe.
I reckon it is one of the usual suspects
is it time for swinging pig to admit their identity?
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I always assumed you were swinging pig, skink?
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I thought he was Fashionista. Skink?
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I am neither of those. I thought swinging pig and fashionista were Orbea or Bento.
everything else was most likely me.
I have posted under many names since there was a time they blocked anything from my home or work IP. I posted as Hui Yin and Chiang Quiang, but they were Chinese references that went straight over her head. I tried a few posts as Ju Hua Can, but someone twigged that one.
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Wait. You weren’t fashionista either??? I took that as a given.
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Pingback: Patti Gone! « The Dullsvillain
being compared to a bad case of crabs is hurtful
much worse than any of the other testicle related insults that Patti Patti has thrown at me
if you can’t say anything nice, then silence is golden
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Never mind – treat yourself to a good case of ‘Howling Wolves’.
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Sorry! But you Skink, is beyond redemption.
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I is
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I told you guys not to Bogart the Chong, but you had to go and do it. I’ve got nothing against patti. Apart from her total lack of a sense of humour. But you guys had to bogart that chong one too many times, now you’ll just have to live with the dregs that are left.
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I do not enjoy belittling anyone because I subscribe to the teachings of the Chinese sage, Confucius ” Do unto others what you don’t like others to do unto you”.
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And Jayzus, this post has 427 comments.
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“And Jayzus, this post has 427 comments.”
…..It being a topic worthy of a “Perpetual” Trophy and subject to annual scrutiny.
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That’s….”being subject to…….”
(No fucking edit function still, I see.)
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I’m sitting here at my desk in the Channel Islands, literally pissing myself laughing.
You guys are legends.
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Jim the Expat,
Not a fan of Patti Sue?
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Literally literally?
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This Is Racist to chineese.
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