The Town of Vincent is considering a community design competition to replace the “Nuclear free zone” welcome signs. (click for large version). The Worst of Perth thinks that you can do better, and is offering two bottles of TWOP favourite tipple Howling Wolves red for your creative effort to revive the flaccid Vincent image.
Favourite wine of the Worst of Perth
I will award one bottle for the best graphic, logo or welcome sign, and one for the best slogan for you non artistic types. Both could go to one entrant. The only proviso is that you have to be able to come into Curtin University to pick up your prize. (or a location acceptable for The lazy Aussie to go to).
The town of Vincent takes in North Perth, West Perth, East Perth, Highgate, Perth and Mt Hawthorne, but you may more easily identify it by the worsts we have covered, such as the slime covered statue facial of the gods, the flaming wardrobe, the grotty grotto, I’m a dickhead, and a worst coming from the Vincent Council itself, asking trees to give notice before dropping nuts. It even has a non worst, KGB headquarters. The Town of Vincent also has many loved obscenities, including the recently wildly popular Strippers World, (home of the cunt ‘kini), another highly popular obscene worst, the graffiti Adrian Barich, fat wog cunt, as well as the lizard licking delights of Rainblow. Use these as your inspiration, or find your own. Feel free to use the images to create your masterpiece. Images should be jpg maximum 500pixels wide. Slogan writers can post as a comment, but if you have an image, or are shy, email to perthworst@hotmail.com
Competition will run for a couple of weeks and will be judged by the lazy Aussie.
Skink kicks it off with a great entry, vying for both bottles.
Entry by Skink
Entry by David Cohen
Entry by Cookster
Entry by Giles
Entry by Paracleet
Entry by Giles2
Entry by Cookster 2
Entry from The Cookster
Entry from Bedford Crackpot Fraternity
Entry from Bedford Crackpot fraternity
Entry from Bedford Crackpot Fraternity
Entry from David Cohen
Entry from Skylantern
entry from Ljuke
Enttry from Paracleet
The Worst of Perth 
DC. I thought you might have gone with “Throne of Blood”. No Rashomon images out there?
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Don’t like nucl-ear? To Vincent Can Gogh!
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I’m a simple man with simple tastes, LA.
I think Cookster’s won the slogan.
Mmmmm can taste that chilled HW cab sauv already…
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Mmmm, yes – with a few blocks of ice and a dash of soda water…
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Paracleet, you should be in PR too.
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I should have made it Black Sambuca, as the broken bottle was in Vincent too. probably expensive shit though.
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I’m working on it. Sadly my artistic ability is very much lacking.
This is vitally important as I am a ratepayer in the city of cunt. Frighteningly the council’s suggestions are far far worse than anything anyone has come up with here.
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sorry, TOWN of cunt. God forgive me.
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The Ricky Grace cunt graffiti was there too, so TOC might be right.
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I am now kicking myself that I did not incorporate ‘cunt’ into my design
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You can enter as many times as you like
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skink: you mustn’t live in the town of cunt then. You can’t escape the cunt here.
Hell, I live next door to a (suspected) house of cunt. Well Ok I think just one cunt but she appears to have quite a er, turnover. It even has a worst in the backyard but it is unfortunately only visible from my upstairs kitchen window (which may or may not be compliant with town building regs).
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at first blush it appears that I may have just contracted Nurry rambling disease.
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The ‘Stop/No Stopping’ signage from Weekend Worstoff a few weeks ago is in the Town of Cunt, too. As is ‘Satan Use Rear Door’.
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Youse understand that it doesn’t HAVE to have to be cunt compliant right?
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There’s a worst actually emanating from the TOV.
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I’m a Dickhead is also a TOC worst
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@15 TLA – I know, I know, but I just cunt help myself…
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Fat wogs of a feather Cookster…
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Indeed Paracleet… some nice poster work there, but my mate Barra won’t be too thrilled… you may well have put him off his form for Sunday night’s Tribute to Mainy match! Dare you to take a colour A2 print along and hang it off the top of the three tier stand.
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” Tell em Nick sent ya : 10% off all service”
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That actualy can be arranged.
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Or perhaps just a blow-up of the origional graffiti shot
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If you can get photos and, perchance, some meedya coverage, I’m sure that TLA will break open the Very Special Old Piss.
Teh ‘Rage might even throw in a gram of the finest herring Rottnest’s West End can offer. And that’s some serious shit man.
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Just need to shout out “Barra! Run ya fat wog cunt!”
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Starry, starry nights!
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re: #25. Remember that outside the confines of satire, it could be defined as racial vilification. Don’t claim you were incited by this blog. You might just get away with cunt though, if you are able to style it as can’t.
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There shouldn’t be a problem if you pronounce the ‘c’ as ‘s’, TLA, as in Vincunt.
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The Town of Vincent ……… Welcomes Eros Ramitzotti !
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And even worse that quoted article says that the Perth coat of arms ( near the Causeway) is to be replaced by a neon sign saying “Welcome to the City of Perth” just in case a stupid tourist is confused.
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@ 30 Bill O’Slatter
Worse indeed, Bill. “The City of Perth is also considering replacing its coat of arms sign on the pedestrian overpass at the eastern end of Adelaide Terrace with a modern neon Welcome to Perth (my imaginary italics) sign.” They are ? I should be surprised, yet somehow I’m not. Should they actually do so, Bill, they’d be playing the right bower in reply to the confused tourist’s lowly off-suit in the stupidity stakes, so I guess they probably will. Granted, it’s a fairly pedestrian overpass, but that’s no excuse.
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new entries
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if they are going to do a neon sign, I think they should include the neon flashing bum sign from Barrack Street, and the words: “She-Ra welcomes you to Perth”
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Bedford Crackpots for the win!
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From the Vincent website history section…
After settlement in 1829, the Europeans gave the name of “Third Swamp” to one of a chain of lakes stretching from Claisebrook to Herdsman Lake. Nearly seventy years later, in 1897, 15 hectares of Third Swamp would be gazetted as a public park and two years later renamed Hyde Park. Hyde Park is now of course one of the Town of Vincent’s most attractive and popular parks.
Maybe it should have been, “Vincent – Formerly Third Swamp”
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@37 BCF – ‘formerly’ Third Swamp? Have you seen Hyde Park lake lately?
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Its horrible right?Should it be Turd Swamp? bone dry? what?
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Horrible, yes. But now with the added appeal of being poisonous, to boot.
Still, it’s slightly comforting to think the greatest threat to your safety in Hyde Park isn’t human any more.
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Nick Catania IS 3rd swamp King.
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How about a top ten , Letterman style . Dubious plonk to the top number one.
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Good one Skink : Scaffidi’s arse in lights …………..Yeah!
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do I get a spotter’s fee for this?
and will you be sending all these magnificent contributions to Nick Catania for his consideration?
I would prefer to keep my identity private, just in case Nick fails to see the funny side of being called a xxx xxx, a xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx, and several different kinds of xxxx.
I wouldn’t want a knock on the door late at night.
Neither do I, which is why I have editied your comment. TLA.
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Probably announce at end of week. Any last entries?
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What do the councillors mean when they say “The nuclear free zone signs are outdated”?
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Ljuke,
They probably don’t really know themselves.
Maybe the signmaker told them that it was passé and they took his word for it.
Perhaps they just want to replace old bullshit with fresh.
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Or the fact that Labor’s No Uranium Mines message didn’t pass muster with the voters.
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Why the shortlist?
There are 15 of them.
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Yes comrade Rolly – I also believe they should ALL be up for voting.
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