To say I was astounded by this photograph sent in by Drew would be an understatement. I babbled, I laughed like a gibbon, I cried like a chimp, I went “Wuh,wah, But what fuck uh, huh?” Could “Playtime” by I Creator be the world’s worst painting, right here at our own Blender Gallery Joondalup? Or is it one of the best ever? Is the total ineptness of the production offset by the outrageous setting? An Alsatian, tongue out, eyes a woman’s genitals while she plays with a kitten (pussy). I hope there’s not a tryptich, because I’m sure panel 3 would have the dog sharing a cigarette with the woman. And what’s with the low hanging gut and toy feet? I’m not even sure it’s legal, but $1500 will get you this piece today. I’m sure however that the price will go up faster than an Alsatian’s erection after international TWOP readers start a bidding war. On the other hand, it would have looked awesome on Cockburn Station. Image remains copyright Drew.
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The Worst of Perth 
Ye. Gods.
I like this on the galley’s site:
“You can enquire information or leave a massage on 9300 3088 or news@theblender.org.au“.
The doggy-style massage is the message.
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I think my brain just broke. It’s too early in the morning to see something like that, let alone think about it until the rubber band powering my mind snaps…
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Where is Greg H when you need him?
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My brain can’t quite cope with the image so instead I am going to focus on the woman’s incredibly short shins and small feet. I think she is only on hands and knees because her legs simply cannot hold support weight.
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That last sentence should read “support her weight”
I was in a hurry to see if I had set up my gravatar correctly.
Clearly I hadn’t!
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That’s so bad it’s very, very good… in fact so very good it becomes bad again…
I suspect it may be ‘ironic’ and deliberately bad, which is good, but not if you have to look at it with your own eyeballs for too long.
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But would it be painted so badly if irony?
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Mother of GOD.
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“I think she is only on hands and knees because her legs simply cannot hold support her weight.”
IMO, I think it’s CRUSHING SHAME that’s keeping her down. Also, is it my imagination, or does she have a second set of boobs hanging down below the first? Maybe that’s why the dog looks so googley-eyed shocked.
Lovecraft was right. What’s seen cannot be unseen.
::cries::
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“What’s seen cannot be unseen.” Wasn’t that Yoda?
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Perfect quote for this picture. I don’t think I will ever forget this.
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Sadly neither will I
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If Iggy ever re-releases “I Wanna Be Your Dog”, the artwork’s already done…
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“That which is “scene” is often obscene” ~ Ærchie the Deep
Sorry, I forgot – you do the jokes – – – :) :)
(I found you because my stats froze as well – seems there was a fair Aussie contingent in the frozen brigade – and I’m sure I have lost stats over it!
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is this a two-legged dog?
the left hind leg is slipped under the doona, whilst the right legs are omitted. the dogs genitalia have however, been rendered in detail.
can I suggest that the tower on Cockburn station becomes a rotating TWOP gallery, displaying only the most toe-curlingly bad art produced in Perth – in the manner of Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth?
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archie, I thought I should have more stats too. This obscenity of a picture has been frequently viewed around the world.
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Always look for patterns in paintings : is it dog pussy dog pussy ? This is definitely one additional artist ( not mentioning names ) who has gone mad and needs shooting. Add him to the list of tutu and teapot wearing ( I can’t find my tinfoil hat) Perth artists
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We should start a petition to get him on Sunday Arts, that interview with the bloke who used to be on Fast Forward would be great. I really would love to hear the artist bang on about his inspiration for the piece, what it truly means in this uncertain socio-economic time we live in, how it is a metaphor for humanity’s relationship with nature, and how it reminds him of a time of yesteryear when naked women could play with their pussies in the privacy of their own bedroom without the fear of getting mounted by a slavering dog/rugby player.
Or, on second thought, perhaps the high angle of the piece is suggesting a webcam’s eye-view.
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I think Lucien Freud may have been able to “pull off” this tableaux. Perhaps there should be a worldwide competition of artist to interpret this scene. Rather like all the comedians interpreting the joke “the Aristocrats” in that movie.
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This pianting doesn’t belong to TWOP. It belongs TWFS: The Worst, Full Stop.
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See? It’s so bad, it fucked with my spelling!
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So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now were gonna be face-to-face
And Ill lay right down in my favorite place
And now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well cmon
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I thought this must be one of Greg’s.
You see a lot of things online but I’ve never seen anything like this.
Stop picking on the poor lady though. She is in enough trouble as it is.
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it could have been from this show:
22 May – 4 June, 2007
‘Dog Show’ Exhibition
Artists: Gail Leidich, Marisa Tindall, Suzanne Louge, Jane Roche paintings and drawings. Eva Boogaard underwater photographs and Judy Rogers sculpture.
Artworks depicting dogs. The artists aim was to explore the connection between human and dog. They want to portray the joy and feelings of having a four-legged companion. They aim is to describe the social interactions with fellow humans dog ownership can give. Show how by having a dog we can associate with our environment.
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or perhaps this one:
26 Feb-2 March 2008
‘Love 2 Live, Live 2 Love’ Exhibition
The exhibition is a reflection on love in today’s world, 3D works and paintings. Two Danes Suzanne Eis Benzon, living in Denmark, and Michael Nielsen, living in Western Australia for 9 years, have created this exhibition together.
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This is so horrifying that after my first sighting of it I had to go have a Bex and a lie down. LA you should put up a warning before showing these shots (well done Drew, this is my pick for the Worst of all Perth)
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Golden1 – Got your Bling happening at last I see – judging from you new avatar/gravatar whatever the bloody things are called!!
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The more I look at it (it’s hard to stop!) I think this is just disgusting really. It’s just pure unalloyed filth, and misogynistic, and it’s really bad painting and not really art.
But on Cockburn station it might work.
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Thanks Anon :)
I wonder how would you go about buying it?
“Excuse me, I’d like to buy the painting of the woman playing with her pussy while the dog watches”
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Drew, I should imagine that anyone that sells this sort of “art” would have a selection for you to choose from, where did you find it?
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I can’t stop looking at it either. Hypnotic.
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Maybe it’s a self portrait!
Actually it could be a self portrait by the dog which would explain the missing front right paw. He couldn’t draw it coz he was using it to hold the brush.
Even though I never want to see it again I would like Drew to go back and get a close up of her face. There is definitely something weird going on there. Do you think she is checking the cat for fleas? Her expression suggests she found a canker.
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TCP @27 – No. At least it is not appearing on my screen.
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Hooray! Thanks TCP foe bringing it to my attention!
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I of course meant for – you are not a foe
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There is something weird going on with her face. But what about those tanlines? Is that a corset tanline around her waist? Or maybe it’s from her second bra, like that fat 6-boobed alien in Return of the Jedi.
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Nobody has said much about the poor cat, the final piece of the chain.
If the self portrait is by the woman, all I can say is I hope she’s locked up safely. Maybe it is and she is already locked up, which would explain a lot.
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I came across this “artwork” while walking down Central Walk in Joondalup, I actually walked right past it then had to do a double take – it took a while to process what was going on.
I recommend anyone heading towards the Northern suburbs to drop by and have a look, I think they’re open until 9pm.
Just like the Mona Lisa, it’s one thing to see it in a picture, but seeing it in real life is a whole new experience.
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@34 – thought you were practicing your “jive talkin'” there foe a minute!!
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ahem, The Cramps (excuse the length but tey are such good lyrics)
“Here kitty kitty. You better move along. Cuz the big cats walk at the break of dawn. Now doggonnit baby. Oohh I said doggone…Hey can your pussy do the dog? Can your pussy do the dog? Can your pussy do the (houndog, bulldog, poodlecut) baby? Can your pussy do the dog? This whole mess useless now as a whistle on a plow. If your pussy can’t do the dog. I’m the king of the jungle. They call me tiger man. I’m gonna do the bird. If I can, if I can. My bird can do the dog. If your pussy can? Come on and wag that tail. Baby you can’t fail. If’n your pussy can’t do the dog. Hey hey hey…Hully hully gully…No pedigree from France will get you in the dance. Lessin your pussy can do the dog. Come on and wag that tail baby you can’t fail. If’n your pussy can do the dog. Cha cha cha!”
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Holy shit Drew! This is in a shopfront??? I thought it was from an online gallery!
Where’s the moral majority when you need them? Not so long ago this used to be a town where Rodney Rude got arrested for performing and you couldn’t show R movies on Good Friday!
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This looks like a job for the Member for Hilarys – Rob Johnson – he’s an expert in such matters if you go by Hansard :-)
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Oh yeah, the scourge of the hoons. Perhaps someone should forward him this filth?
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I think this is All Time Worst.
In fact if there was a World’s Worst Competition you could enter this painting with every confidence of taking a place if not winning.
The subject matter, coupled with the total ineptitude of the artist puts this painting in a complete league of it’s own.
Well done Drew on your extraordinary find.
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Added to worst of worst category.
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Hahahahaha! A-Class TWOP right here.
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I also really hate it when artists can’t draw feet so they hide them behind things.
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Hey LA, I suggested this for worst of worst and was ignored many posts ago – its because I havent got a gravitar isnt it, isnt it.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avatar_(virtual_reality)
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I meant to put it on as worst of worst at the beginning, but just got round to it.
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Well! Now that I’ve changed my wet underwear (again), looking closely at the photo it does seem that the girl has at least three titties.
I might have to go North to have a closer look to confirm that it is really not the delusionary product of someones schizophrenic camera.
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The background doesn’t do much for the rest of the painting and I really don’t like those striped sheets!! The bedroom looks like it needs a complete and total makeover. Get in renovation rescue crew I SAY!!
OH and don’t forget the RSPCA and PET (Psychiatric Evaluation Team)
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On closer inspection it just gets WORSE. The perspective on the dogs ears isn’t right. And the cat looks like it’s wearing a fake beard. Plus, you know, everything else.
What a trainwreck.
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The dogs got a monobrow
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I’m looking forward to paintings from this artist’s “gerbil series”.
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This looks like a job for Cesar Milan… the Dog Whisperer.
As you can see, the woman is calm, relaxed and submissive. The alsation is DOMINANT… he is pack leader.
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What an earth has been going on while I have been away?
I love it! I ‘ll have more to say when I’m back online next week. Can’t wait.
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Meccano! I was worried you’d miss this one.
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Awful! truly awful – I’m a bit speechless by it all really.
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i want this picture so badly!
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a mere $1500 small ones and it’s yours, killabot
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well, i don’t want this picture THAT badly… :P
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So which reader of this site bought it? It hasn’t been in the gallery for a couple of weeks now.
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A private collector no doubt. Very private. It’s hard to think that it could have been sold for $1500.
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just to add to the WTF, about 99% of all calico cats are female. that’s one hairy calico cat.
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Re:
Next year how bout we have ‘young white lesbians’ get cross on the cross because they have to wear a brassiere, cause oversized fat drooping boobs on public display are nothing much to get spiritual about.
Now yer talking Greg. Let’s do it baby.
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Its an idea with massive potential la and its just the hiring out of the theatre we have to take care of. We’ve got our star. -Poor witless lisa.
All we really need now is an audience, some promotion via ‘worst’ and OK we need a cross.
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If this was successful we could the following year put on a piece even more topical and shocking. Young white lesbians get naked and have rather interesting romp in bed tickling their pussey while being muff-dived by lean mean hostile well hung alsations!!
Now thats a goer if ever there was one.
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Probably more of a midnight crowd that one actually.
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Fly By Night Club?
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I’m also a little worried about the funding appication. Maybe let me do the talking.
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The vibe never lies baby.
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L.A I’m convinced this painting is a sketch for the Knock’er off sculpture. Turn it on end, replace the pussy then add the nappy – it’s the same. It can’t be coincidence.
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Greg. I see you in the moderation queue, but you need to make your comments on the topic of the post. I removed all comments from anyone who was not talking about this marvellous painting.
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The “artist” who threw together this bilge has clearly achieved their goal…to invite controversy and comments, no matter how negative!
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Er yuck not this again.
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Thank you, TL101, for flagging this post up for me!
I particularly like the idea that there’s a pool room in Tapping or Edgewater with this in pride of place between gleaming athletics trophies etc. And possibly facing a classy pic of dogs playing poker with neon highlights done in actual neon lights, because that’s Art, guaranteed. And maybe something from the Franklin Mint nearby.
I also am enjoying the thought that someone has bought this as an investment piece, and is trying to get it insured…
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