Essence

The Worst of Perth presents all original examples of the worst of Design, Architecture,  Art and Humanity from Perth Western Australia and the world with commentary from comedian, artist and photographer Andrew McDonald.  See the home page or subscribe to posts for daily worst updates like these!

See the world’s worst paintings unearthed. Be astounded as an Alsatian stares at a deformed woman’s genitals…

alsatianBehold the mailbox Tensing and Hilary failed to conquer, turned back by ice storms 200 meters short of the summit…

Basecamp 2 1200metres

Basecamp 2 1200metres

Gold velour cast to the verge…

Golden Soak

Golden Soak

The food of the gods, eggs derelict, direct from an Australian barbeque…

Eggs Derelict

Eggs Derelict

And original worsts from around the world like this one from the South Island of  New Zealand…

Send in the clowns

Send in the clowns

A Croation woman wearing a foil dress…

alfoil

And the wanton crappiness of The UK’s King Arthur’s World, with plastic swords and this “Grail Trail”.

grail

For more worst action like these, The Worst of Perth posts original photos and commentary 6 or seven days a week. Be a part of it with thousands of others worldwide. Subscribe to posts, or visit the home page regularly.

262 Responses to Essence

  1. georgiaonafasttrain says:

    pretty much loving this blog.

    of course, nothing tops that bloody freaking bell tower thing by the river in the city as the worst of perth for me. that thing shits me so bad.

    i may have to dedicate a blog to you and your ability to brighten my day. (as the weather isn’t doing it for me.)

    Like

  2. ribbon says:

    Brilliant. Your blogspot is awesome. Best entertainment all night :-)

    Like

  3. Rolly says:

    The Lazy Aussie Said:

    “Thanks mate. The Belltower has of course been covered.”

    Well, no. At least not when I looked yesterday.

    Though it might seem less of a blight on the view from all angles if it was.

    There’s a plentiful choice of materials to do it with; the fabrics that they make hot air balloons from, for example.

    Or maybe just a big pile of that pretty yellow builders’ sand.

    Like

  4. Pingback: Papyrus Checks Into Rehab « YourLogoMakesMeBarf.com

  5. Frank Calabrese says:

    I note that LA has made a comment on the Ellenbrook line here :-)

    http://westernpatriot.com.au/?p=527#comment-67

    It should be noted that one of the people behind the site was my Booth captain at the Upper Swan Primary School on State Election day. His name was mentioned in Yesterday’s West, and no, it wasn’t the bloke involved with the CCC :-)

    Like

  6. It looks good. Your’e going to make me read the fucking West to find his name?

    Like

  7. wereviking says:

    I’ve been to that King Arthur World. Claims to be 500m from Camlann, the final battle where Arthur died. Note electricity towers. Depressing, but that’s Cornwall for you.

    Like

  8. Aileen Wuornos says:

    This blog eases off the horrible rage I suffer after reading The West in the morning. Fact.

    Like

  9. PR Lab says:

    And I’m sure the bloody ferris wheel has been covered, too. But I rode past it yesterday and just shook my head.

    Like

  10. Snacks says:

    Chill on the ferris wheel its not permanent and the city dont own its privately owned and managed there would be nothing there anyway. what is it that perth seems to be missing that isnt there?

    Like

    • Rolly says:

      The majority of the population having a modest understanding of the local language and the capacity to express themselves coherently in print would be a good start.

      A proclivity for reading and understanding previous postings on a blog topic might help restrict the number of inane comments, too.

      Like

    • ronggly says:

      Trams and snow

      Like

    • Bedford Crackpot Fraternitaie! says:

      Nudity?……….if we were all nude, we would all see what we all NEED to see! AND everything would be resolved! SIMPLE – All our problems would simply disrobe and there would be free thought and expression….Perth would be….well….enlightened in the glow…of something!! Luminous!!

      Like

  11. Snacks says:

    Yeah sorry about that, I didnt edit it before I posted it. Now that you’ve made your point, and illustrated how smart you are, would you making use of your intelligence and answering my question? what does perth need to do to shake its tag as boring or the “worst” ? Do you know how this city works? or have you just read a couple of articles in “The West Australian” and made your mind up from there?

    Dont be offended by my request, and try to give some constructive feedback, because in the end perth will never progress if people cant express your problems with this city.

    Thanks

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Snacks,
      I think you may be misinterpreting the comments on this blog. The Worst of Perth isn’t the same as Perth is the Worst! Every capital city has it’s Worsts, and this blog highlights the ones that belong to our beloved city. Having said that there will always be room for improvement and plenty of posters on this blog will have suggestions, for a fee of course.

      BTW – you probably should have edited before you posted again.

      Like

    • Rolly says:

      I’m getting suckered into this!

      Q. Do you know how this city works? or have you just read a couple of articles in “The West Australian” and made your mind up from there?

      A. I’ve been around and about this city often enough and long enough not to waste my time, and limited intelligence, reading that news(?)paper. As a traveller abroad I learned that Perth is anything but Dullsville from the perspective the international visitor.

      Q. what does Perth need to do to shake its tag as boring or the “worst” ?

      A. Politely ask those who consider Perth to be so to kindly shift their arses to somewhere they consider “exciting” and let the rest of us enjoy the place as we always have.

      I came here by choice; have traveled to and from many other parts of the world, and have returned here by choice.
      I may have to reconsider that decision in view of the recent “progress” towards over population, and in view of the actions of planners and administrators which have created similar crime, violence and social anger as found in the places that many “progressive thinkers” in this town seek to emulate.

      That we are no longer the happy, easy going, genuinely sociable and compassionate society of past years says much about the direction in which our city administrators, and their masters in politics, industry and religion, are taking us.

      Perth, which was never “Dullsville”, is now rapidly becoming a city of angry, drug fueled, mindless malcontents who are continually demanding that someone else should solve their self induced problems without them having to get off their own backsides.

      Anywhere is ‘dull’ for those who cannot think for themselves and who are unable, or unwilling, to create personal environments that are both pleasing and satisfying.

      It seems to me that there are many people seeking answers to questions that they neither understand nor have even carefully considered.

      Perhaps a degree of serious introspection is required by those who would seek to change something that they really do not understand into something that they are unable to fully visualise.

      Like

    • skink says:

      all possible options on how to make this city even greater were debated at the recent Landcorp 2030 summit and there is no need for further discussion.

      queries should be directed to Patti ‘Iron Fist’ Chong.

      Like

    • Bedford Crackpot Fraternitaie! says:

      I believe we SHOULD be expressing ourselves more in the streets of perth….i think mooning should become the new pilates, that Mad Dog should be Mentor for Colin Barnett and late nite shopping should be allowed to happen between the hours of 9 – 5 with the lights off!!

      Like

  12. Snacks says:

    Firstly, thank you for responding in an informative and constructive manner (and again sorry for not editing properly before). I, like many am grappling with my own interpretation of Perth, (hence the reason I found this blog). I think you’ll find that our opinions on what makes Perth’s sense of place are very closely aligned. When considering Perth, however I find it frustrating that so much emphasis is put on structures like the bell tower or the Ferris wheel (which like I was saying earlier is not even permanent) surely there are bigger issues? (For example Perth is growing and in order to become more sustainable we need to increase density, the question is where?) I too am well travelled and for the record I think that what Perth lacks in “culture” (museums history etc) it more than makes up for with its life style. The reality is that Perth is a pretty easy place to live, it’s safe, clean and there is plenty of opportunity and like you said those who find it dull mustn’t be able to “think for themselves or are unwilling, to create personal environments that are both pleasing and satisfying”. I was simply just asking; what is considered “both pleasing and satisfying”? But instead found myself shut down by what I felt were un-helpful comments and a demonstration (in my opinion) of why Perth has struggled for so long to find satisfaction in itself. In the end this stuff is all opinion and those commenting on Perth issues should not place their own opinions above those whose background or “understanding” (as you put it) aren’t the same as their own.

    Like

    • Bento says:

      I don’t go in for the ‘if you don’t like Perth exactly how it is, then fuck off’ standard retort to any suggestion for change.

      However, a wise old man at the Tourism Bureau once told me three important criteria for successful product: uniqueness, authenticity, marketability.

      I suggest plonking a 1/4 scale copy of the London Eye betwixt the Swan and the Sacred Paddocks does not go any way towards achieving the first 2. As for marketability, well, maybe ask Cockster, but I think that would be questionable also.

      Now that I have addressed the substance of your comment, may I request, in accordance with the TWOP protocols, that you limit future comments to the snidey, disdainful variety, concerning only the superficial appearance of objets d’worst. Earnest discussions and the preparation of foreshore development plans are the domain of Il Chong.

      Like

  13. skink says:

    Dr. Irony to the emergency ward please.

    nurse, the screens…

    Like

  14. Snacks says:

    Point taken this blog probably isnt the right place for my questions…………..

    But perth is changing and Im sick of hearing people who think that by using big words and big opinions they are well informed and dare i say it “right”, I dont think half the people on this site even really know what they do or dont like. One thing is for sure though they all seem to be pretty fond of whinging.

    learn to be constructive or nothing will ever change and youll be stuck on blogs whinging forever.

    Like

    • Bento says:

      Liking a place doesn’t require that one engages in endless boosterism. A bit of a friendly poke at the things that make Perth endearingly shithouse is not ‘whinging’.

      Nothing constructive??? LA is one of this city’s major agenda-setting content-makers, with a hotline from the Lion’s Den straight to the Lord Mayor.

      We seem to be attracting a different breed of cat these days.

      Like

    • Bellbird says:

      tou·ché again!

      Like

  15. skink says:

    whatever you do, don’t suggest a bit of a friendly poke when Cockster is around

    Like

  16. Snacks says:

    OK whatever, it seems I either dont know the site well enough or am missing your points. This site has heaps of potential but so far I havent been able to get any info from anyone regarding my first question, why is it that when i ask a simple question i cant get a simple answer????

    What do people think perth needs?

    its a simple question with no other hidden agendas Im simply interested in what the outspoken people of perth think.

    Maybe people dont know what they think perth needs?

    Like

    • margeryx says:

      24 hour shopping!

      Like

    • B.T. says:

      Daylight Savings!

      Like

      • Frank Calabrese says:

        I’ve ALWAYS hated Daylight Savings and it is a real pain in the arse for those work by sunlight like my old man – especially duringGrape Season, during DS, we never ate until after 8pm. Plus it stuffed me around healthwise as well.

        Like

        • B.T. says:

          Yeah, I don’t really think Daylight Savings would have saved Perth from the dullsville tag. I don’t think a slightly larger than average Ferris wheel is going to do the trick either. Maybe we need more freeways?

          Like

    • B.T. says:

      Compulsory nude beaches?

      Like

    • Bellbird says:

      Less Gen Y defining the streets after clock strikes 12…pissed and drugged out of their heads…we need more small wine bars, coffee shops , cosy cafes open to late hours eg FREO, PERTH,MANDURAH,COTTESLOE…All of Perth! Reclaim the streets for all ages without having to trip over spewing bodies, aggressive behaviours, and no choice but to share a coffee at HJ’s (Freo last sat night about midnight!…everything else was closed…..)and we had to step over vomit inside front of shop, spilt shakes and not a table uncovered in food and wrappers (all of which remained like that for the 45 mins/1 hr we stayed (yes crazy but true!)….mind you we sat and discussed the whys, whens and hows while seated there! And that was all after a great night out at Flybynite! And yes I have written to state and local government reps declaring all of our dismay at the decline in social behaviours and our rising crime rates.

      Like

  17. skink says:

    snacks,

    if you look carefully, most of the content on this site is quite loving towards Perth’s foibles, many of which can be found in any suburban sprawl. There is not a great deal of whinging.

    there is venom, but it is mostly directed at the sort of parochial arse muppets who masquerade as ‘Perthinanities’

    This is a town where the front page was devoted to the appointment of someone to read out the weather forecast, which for ten months of the year consists of saying ‘tomorrow will be fine.’ It appears they have to bring someone from London to do this, since they couldn’t find anyone close to hand with the necessary skills.

    Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      Or more precisely, a local lass who had left the same position at their main TV Rival to work overseas – especially when the newspaper involved is also owned by the Television Station concerned.

      Like

      • skink says:

        Jeez, the way they talk about it you’d think it was worse that Burgess and Philby defecting to Russia

        “weather girl defects to rival channel and takes all the station secrets regarding smiling and pointing”

        Like

  18. skink says:

    what does Perth need?

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but right now I could do with a friendly poke.

    Like

  19. Snacks says:

    Thanks Skink, again point taken. I spose this site is more of a light hearted dig/chat about Perthonalities and I got it wrong asking questions about Perths development / progress in the wrong place(?),

    still though I havent heard any answers except for snow and trams.

    I didnt think this question would be hard to answer, although maybe its just a bit boring.

    Like

    • curious says:

      not so much that it’s boring, but that it’s the wrong question for here.

      Like

    • ronggly says:

      Snacks, people come here for a laugh. You asked a serious question. But you’ve motivated me for a rant. I grew up in Perth in the 70’s and 80’s, went overseas for the 90’s and returned last year. I’ve always regarded this place as an overachieving mining town, like Dallas, Aberdeen, etc. and I could gripe about many things. But one thing that shits me most of all is the disappearance of suburban pubs in the last 10yrs [this hasn't happened in Melbourne or Hobart AFAICT which still have pubs with music]. At first I thought it was purely because of noise complaints from well-heeled NIMBY neighbours e.g. Steves, the Maj. Then a guy I know, who returns from work late on Saturday nights to Ardross, told me of teh scenes outside the Booragoon before it was closed down. Pitched brawls along the footpaths and the roads, which he had to drive around. The Perth pub culture has changed radically. Violent (shit I’m sounding like Rattler now). I don’t know why. I would guess the availability of meth has something to do with it.

      Like

  20. Snacks says:

    fair enough

    Like

  21. Jeez, I go away for a few hours. What does Perth need? All (and I mean all) will be revealed in the live show on September 3rd.

    Like

  22. Big Ramifications says:

    Anyone ever seen Snacks and Jesper in the same room?

    Like

  23. Snacks says:

    Still no one has an answer/cant be bothered with my question…… and still you “whinge” about the ferris wheel……

    Like

  24. Snacks says:

    Is the post by ronggly suggesting perth is a dangerous place fuelled by meth? because Id argue that for a city of over 1 million people perth is incredibly safe…

    But thanks for raising the issue of vanashing pubs like steves etc quite a shame I think.

    Like

  25. skink says:

    if you really want an answer, I think the only person who has had a decent idea recently is architect Ahnmad Abas who suggested that Perth should concentrate on being a garden city making the most of the river and parkland and not fucking things up trying to go too high density.

    I am rather tired of people wanting Perth to be more like Melbourne, or London, or Dublin or New York, since they were cities that cemented their character before the dominance of the car.

    Perth has space, which is a luxury few other cities have, but everyone is in a rush to let the developers build high rise up to the waters edge. Increase the density by all means, but not by leaping from bungalows to condos with no stage in between.

    Look at the photos of the new Fairlanes development being spruiked by Jeff Newman for an example of the tacky condo crap you will get if you let developers loose.

    Like

    • madnes says:

      That Fairlanes site redevelopment – yeeech. I saw the boards for it when in Perth recently (October).

      My grandparents used to manage the place (Fairlanes) as retirees, “back in the day” (the 80s) and lived right across the road in the horrid/lovely art deco flats (I think these still stand, for now).

      Sorry to bust out the tiny violin, but my Grand-dad was an architect who designed condos throughout the Asia-Pac region (in the 60s and 70s – mostly still standing, for now!) and I’m sure he’d be spinning in his grave at the cyclone-fodder shoeboxes that’ll replace Fairlanes.

      Long story short – Perth feels like it lacks legacy, for me. I cant take people back (in most cases) and say “and that’s where XYZ happened” – it’s usually been redeveloped.

      Apologies again for not mentioning lady parts or the Premier herewith, in clear breach of TWOProtocol. Shan’t happen again.

      Like

  26. Snacks says:

    finally…… thankyou skink

    Like

  27. Snacks says:

    so those who dont fit in are those who are patient and not easily satisfied? if thats the case no wonder progress is so slow, perth will expand lets face it

    Like

  28. Snacks says:

    just wanted a constructive answer, i spose the lack of answers says a lot about perth and its people;

    YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

    Like

  29. Snuff says:

    You may get to crank up the ol’ Xtranormal again, skink.

    Like

  30. Take it down man, take it way down.

    Like

  31. ljuke says:

    How about that ferris wheel, guys? Pretty fucked, no?

    Like

  32. Snacks says:

    Thank you for proving my point guys.

    If you dont ever learn to engage with questions on this topic then perth will be designed and built and you might not like it…………………… but i spose it would at least give you all something to go online and pretend to undertstand through th unwitty comments you all seem to be so fond of.

    (except skink of course)

    Read earlier in blog please ljuke

    Like

    • ljuke says:

      Haha yeah I know.

      Wait, what?

      Like

    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      I think it might be time for your snacks now Snacks, yeah an Skink ………legend.

      Like

    • claireee says:

      Did I not attempt to engage? Too busy peaking to notice?

      Like

    • Bento says:

      Snacks, many of us (including me) are actively engaged in various processes which are shaping Perth (journalism, politics, property development, community action etc etc).

      You are making a category mistake, by coming to a pisstake blog run by a comedian, and trying to engage in earnest discussion about the direction Perth should be taking. For one, we are all sick to death of the constant navel gazing, and if I hear non-specific pleas for ‘more vibrancy’ again I’ll be moved to start the process with a cleansing fire ignited by the 60,000 foreshore plans produced over the last 50 years.

      You had your chance for earnest discussion, but apparently opted not to go to Chongfest Broome 2009. I’m sure you’ll get another chance.

      By all means hang around and have a laugh with us, but pull the stick out of your arse first.

      Like

      • I think there’s often been some serious points among the hilarity. It’s still the right place to come.

        Like

        • Bento says:

          Fair cop. The serious points kind of get lost amidst the cuntkinis, arses,boozies, crackpots, Howling Wolves and be-vested men standing next to porn stars.

          If the sheer effrontery of me giving out etiquette advice can be ignored for a second, I’d simply suggest Snacks needs to work on his/her approach. And pull the stick out of his/her arse.

          Like

      • Scanners says:

        I was wondering when vibrancy would make an appearance. Unfortunately it still gets flung about by town planners, politicians and Lord Mayors as if just by it’s repeated utterance, it will occur.

        Like

    • shazza says:

      Snacks,
      by repeatedly acknowledging that this site is not the correct location for asking a serious question, and then going on to ask that said question whilst getting frustrated at the lack of answers shows an astounding lack of insight. You and Patti Chong should get on well, so head on over to her blog. You’ll be right at home.

      Like

      • Snacks says:

        you guys keep responding though. As i said, direct me somewhere else (a blog, not to go jump in a lake like i imagine some of you will) or simply just dont get involved with my questions.

        Like

  33. skink says:

    I just looked at the photos again

    is that bloke in the red cap about to unzip his pants and slip his old fella into the clown’s mouth?

    did we do that already?

    Like

  34. Snacks says:

    toughen up guys…. your pretty easily offended

    Like

  35. Snacks says:

    IF YOU DONT LIKE MY POSTS DONT THEN WRITE BACK

    Im not forcing you to do anything.

    Get over it Onanist….. (again a poor attempt at witty banter)

    Like

    • Onanist says:

      I don’t mind your posts, but they are more revealing than they are amusing.
      It is your lack of literacy that I find appalling.

      Like

  36. ljuke says:

    Hey, have we done the Exhibition Centre yet? PHWOOOAARRR!!

    Like

  37. snacks says:

    Although there was a lack of literacy in the post your referring to, it was obviously understood so pipe down!!

    Having said that I couldn’t really care less about your futile attempt(s) to undermine what I am trying to discuss.

    Like

    • margeryx says:

      snacks – it’s ‘a lack of literacy in the post to which you are referring’

      You shouldn’t end a phrase with a preposition, if you want to be literate.

      Like

  38. Snacks says:

    dont care

    Like

  39. Snacks says:

    again terrible chat (one of your words is spelt wrong skink).

    Like

  40. skink says:

    I think you’ll find the word is ‘spelled’
    and my typo was carefully considered

    do you see what I was doing there?

    Like

  41. skink says:

    I keep setting traps for young players and the old ones fall in

    Like

  42. snacks says:

    Enough on the spelling/grammar, it’s pretty boring really. At least This blog was quite entertaining before the spelling teachers rode in on their high horses.

    Like

  43. Bento says:

    Why would you capitalise ‘This’?

    Like

  44. snacks says:

    Hi, Ronggly,

    I just wanted to hear what other people thought about Perth, and for a group with such sure opinions and interest I thought I’d get more of an interesting response. I myself believe that Perth (cbd) will/and should be developed, and I would love to see more (dare i say it) vibrancy. What that vibrancy is I dont know but more hustle and bustle (in my opinion) makes a more interesting city. I think perth is the marketing space for the whole of Western Australia it will develop and I look forward to seeing the evolution of the city.

    That is my opinion and Im entitled to it.

    (for the record I love living in perth (although im not a local))

    Like

    • Bento says:

      Dear Mr/Ms/Dr Snacks,

      We refer to your comments, received 17 August 2009, regarding what Perth needs.

      We understand you consider Perth requires more good things, and less bad things. We trust this is an accurate reflection of your position.

      Thank you for your interest in this matter. We will take your comments into consideration when making a final decision. Minutes of the Committee for Adding Vibrancy and Other Good Shit Meeting will be available from this website.

      Regards,

      Bento Lookatmelbourne
      Director of Vibrancy Insertion

      Like

    • shazza says:

      OK, OK I’ll play.
      Snacks I disagree that Perth is the marketing space for WA. Whenever you see any promotion of WA it tends to focus on outback scenes. The Kimberleys, Monkey Mia, diving with Whale Sharks, Bungles Bungles, remote National parks, camel rides on Cable Beach in Broome, Margaret River wine and surf, Albany, Esperance, Rotto.

      The local shots tend to be Freo and Cottesloe Beach. The city itself is not representative of the Perth lifestyle for many of us. Personally I couldn’t give a shit about the vibrancy or otherwise of Perth central because, by choice, I rarely go there. I won’t proffer any suggestions for improvement of the city for that reason. (Though I do think the sinking of the railway will be a good move).

      I’m glad you enjoy living here, and that you are enjoying TWOP so much.

      Like

      • skink says:

        did the pictures of Freo have a cloud of lead dust floating overhead?

        Like

      • snacks says:

        When I say marketing space I mean in a way like the front of a property development can be used to “sell” what’s deeper in the development. Perth becomes the front yard for a whole state as it is almost the first “west Australian thing” a tourist sees. I’m sure if the city was (Again I know people hate this word) more vibrant it would be visited more often (which I think is a good thing). I don’t see a reason why our CBD can’t be more vibrant (and why people hate the word for that matter)

        The CBD will definitely change; I’m just interested in how.

        Like

        • CB One says:

          Perth CBD is full of engineers, geologists and lawyers – vibrancy’s Axis of Evil. Now that I’ve identified the problem, how can we get rid of them???

          Also, I think the first “West Australian thing” a tourist sees, is the Great Eastern Hwy. Depressing, isn’t it.

          Like

        • shazza says:

          Snacks, Perth has had a relatively small population for a long time, and a spread out metropolitan plan, meaning numbers of people in the city outside office hours were too small to create any real demand for late night services.
          As you state that will change, as it already has. The increasing population coupled with more accommodation options within Perth CBD will lead naturally to more eateries, small bars, community spaces and such. Vibrancy has a chance to flourish in such circumstances.

          Like

          • snacks says:

            I agree, i spose the question which will need to be answered though is: When it comes to things like public spaces, how can they be designed to promote “Vibrancy” rather than feul angst and dissatisfaction? ( the bell tower and convention centre are prime examples(of angst and dissatisfaction)).

            Like

            • shazza says:

              I happen to like the Belltower.

              Like

              • skink says:

                buildings do not create vibrancy, people do.

                If there are no people, there will be no life.

                ‘build it, and they will come’ is daft. you need demand first. as shazza said. That is dependant on population density.

                increasing the population density, when there is little demand for high rise apartment living, in order to create demand, so that there is a bit of a buzz about town for people from the western suburbs to enjoy when they go out to teh opera once a month, is the sort of myopia discussed at the Landcorp Summit

                ask all the people with failed restaurant and bar businesses.

                Like

                • snacks says:

                  Correct skink, people do create vibrancy.
                  In Perth city there IS actually a demand for more residential property. Whether or not it is “right” for Perth I don’t know. Suggesting vibrancy will only benefit western suburbs people when they come in for the opera is a bit strange, a vibrant city means more potential for tourism, further development and small bars/restaurants (if you want to see the demand for such places simply head to Helvetica in a small lane right in the CBD where there is a line to get in from about 4.30pm). There are countless examples around the world where cities have developed a new vibrancy and shaken a glum tag. Just look at Manchester, Berlin, Dublin or Edinburgh. Sure their morphology is different but the principles are the same.
                  I’m pretty sure lots of you will disagree with what I’m saying but just remember my fundamental argument,
                  Perth will develop, I’m just interested in how…(to not look at other cities for “advice” would be foolish)

                  Like

                  • skink says:

                    snacks:

                    the cities you mention were urban regeneration projects in post-industrial cities where residents had moved to the outer suburbs and the city centre had died.

                    Not relevant to Perth at all (except perhaps East Perth power station)

                    all relied on massive public spending, and not all were successful. Most made the most of a stock of disused historic building augmented by signature architecture.

                    I grew up in Manchester. I live in Perth. Join the dots.

                    If this state were prepared to put massive public spending behind public projects, I would support it, but it is not. The plan is to let developers do it with little or no control from Govt planners, and you are not going to get Edinburgh, you are going to get Brisbane.

                    I wasn’t suggesting ‘vibrancy’ only benefits the western suburbs set, just that those are the people that are framing the debate, and they have a narrow view of what ‘vibrancy’ means: Flinders Lane and the South Bank arts precinct. Smart restaurants, a ‘cafe strip’, and some exclusive supper clubs.

                    They do not mean the vibrancy from twenty thousand footy fans trying to find a drink in Subi after the game.

                    They do not mean the vibrancy of ten thousand young people having a Big Day Out without getting hassled by sniffer dogs.

                    They do not mean the vibrancy of Gay Pride

                    They do not mean the vibrancy of a thriving live music scene.

                    et cetera and so forth

                    I really hope the small bar scene takes off in Perth, I really do, but I remember Hudson, which was shut down by residents who had bought King Street loft apartments which were marketed for their ‘inner city lifestyle’, and then complained about the noise. Hopefully the current mayor is not such a pushover as her predecessor. Note that scene was kicked off without any new architecture or public investment, just a small tweak to Perth’s prehistoric licensing and planning laws.

                    I suggest you head to Helvetica again in six months when it is not the newest bestest thing. If there is still a line, then Perth may be moving forwards.

                    Like

                    • Bill O'Slatter says:

                      Welleresquian in the breadth and depth of your contribution Skink.

                      Like

                    • skink says:

                      I am considering opening a bar called “Comic Sans”

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      Skink,
                      You are agreeing with what I’m saying; public space and “vibrancy” (all the things you mentioned) needs to be autonomous. The city foreshore will be developed and rather than constantly pick holes in this notion I’m wondering what we can learn from other cities/projects. I agree Manchester’s situation is very different from Perth’s but you must admit there is certainly a lot to learn from “reformed” cities. I personally just see it as a shame that this subject evokes such angst and dissatisfaction when I think it provides a great opportunity for something new.
                      Let’s face we don’t have a lot to lose (in terms of Langley park etc)

                      Like

                    • skink says:

                      I disagree: if they mess up Langley Park with development we will never get back foreshore parkland (see Brisbane) The foreshore needs developing, but into better parkland. the tunnel was supposed to move traffic off Riverside drive. Now they need to move the parking into Northbridge and Claisebrook as part of sinking the tunnel, and plant Langley Park so that it is an extension of Supreme Court Gardens.

                      there is no reason for highrise to go to the waters edge. High rise should be kept to the ridge where it belongs. High rise is on that ridge because it is one of the few places on the coastal plane with decent founding rock (apart from Mount Eliza) – the river and Northbridge are swamp. They can increase the high rise density all the way down Adelaide Terrace to the causeway with no need to approach Riverside Drive, with the whole of Claisebrook turned into a transport hub with parking linked to the freeway, an expanded station, and a nice tram up the Terrace.

                      I should be getting paid for this shit.

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      Skink, although I dont fully agree with what you are saying, I respect the fact that you are listening to what im trying to say and constructively engaging with it.

                      everyone else take note.

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      Langley Park (in my opinion) is a lifeless water guzzling expanse of wasted space which is far too valuable to justify the red bull air race and circus every so often being its only uses (besides they have plenty of other sites to use). For the record the funding needed to turn Langley park into an extension of the supreme court gardens would be well above the amount of revenue that could be gained by developing parts (note I say parts not all) of the foreshore ( and in my opinion would be unsustainable and boring)(we have kings park). Tunnels are expensive and waste heaps of space either side as they need to be graded accordingly (just look at the “Polly Pipe”), you also couldn’t put a tunnel along the foreshore or in parts of Langley park because of an ancient Paeleo channel which exists deep below the surface. I agree the Supreme Court gardens are good as is. I didn’t say high rise should be situated along the water’s edge (although I wouldn’t rule it out). Agreed they can increase the high rise density all the way down Adelaide Terrace to the causeway with no need to approach Riverside Drive.
                      The key to a good development on Langley Park will be mixed land uses, a mix of public and private spaces and not being afraid of the water’s edge (its only around 1 metre deep and is reclaimed land anyway).
                      Just think about what I said before you dive in with an attempt to make yourself sound intelligent Rolly and Bento

                      Like

                    • skink says:

                      I switched off the moment you used the word ‘revenue’

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      But what have you said???? That’s my point – you’re the equivalent of Zoltan Kovacs shrugging your shoulders and saying ‘Fucked if I know’, and expecting us all to see it as devastating insight.

                      As far as I can see, you’ve said Langley Park needs ‘some development, with private and public spaces, and a mix of uses’, ‘Supreme Court Gardens is good’, and ‘Perth needs vitality’. Well, hold the front page! I suspect you’re a student of town planning, or some related field, with just enough knowledge and jargon to carry on an argument, and a typical level of student self-importance.

                      You mistake my being bored with being upset at your ‘challenging insights’. This is, again, a classic student gambit. You are not a revolutionary ahead of your time. You are, to reiterate, simply making a category mistake, by coming here in pursuit of earnest discussion. Now please just shut up.

                      I promise everyone – I will not feed the monkey any more.

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      Fair enough Bento, I’ll come clean. Im pretty young, with little limited life experience. I found this site by accident posted to see what would happen…… you all got a bit upset/bored whatever thats about it really. what i have discovered though is that your all pretty soft, not very funny and know about as uch as me on the topic.

                      I was only trying to learn a bit more

                      Like

                    • skink says:

                      I only engaged you because after months of Chong suggesting that this site was only interested in shouting things down I thought it was worth showing that most contributors to this site do indeed have something positive to say and have thought about the issues more than the fuckwits who merely bleat: “how do we make Perth less dull? I know, let’s add some vibrancy!”

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      your better than that skink dont head down that path

                      Like

                • flynn says:

                  isn’t Vibrancy 101 part of the Architecture degree? If it isn’t it sure ought to be..

                  Like

                  • snacks says:

                    Would you prefer to go to a city which was vibrant or not?

                    Like

                    • Rolly says:

                      I’d prefer to escape the city.

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      Snacks why don’t you define what you mean when you say vibrancy?

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      See Skink’s post….. just action in general really.

                      Like

                    • Rolly says:

                      I rarely go into “rant” mode but you are really pissing me off with this puerile prattle.

                      When you learn how to present a well constructed question with a reasonable indication of what it is that you are genuinely seeking as an answer, then come back to us.

                      Remember that this blog was set up by a stand-up comedian with a decidedly ‘tongue-in-cheek’ approach to life.

                      Satire is something that requires a degree of wit and intellectual flexibility which, judged on your postings, you appear to be totally lacking.

                      Do piss off. Please.

                      Like

                    • skink says:

                      you talking to me or him?

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      Rolly wins.

                      Can we play another game now?

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      Im getting plenty of fun from seeing how upset your getting at harmless questions.

                      haha

                      Come back to me when you grow a pair.

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      Snacks, you have insulted posters on this site for not answering your question yet it appears from this answer that you really don’t know what it is you seek an answer to. “action” is not an answer, it only has meaning in your head, and not to those of us you are trying to engage.

                      I think Bento is right, it’s time to move on to a new game.

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      Soft shazza…… Ive given plenty of examples as to what I think should happen (skink is the only one who actually has the ability to make relevant comments). I have asked for you to direct me to another a post where my questions are more appropriate(no one has) and have also said that if you dont like what im saying dont respond……….. (you all keep responding/taking the bait)

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      Your’e a dickhead snacks.

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      hahahaha cant believe your getting sooo cut.

                      Like

                    • shazza says:

                      dont care

                      Like

                    • snacks says:

                      haha

                      Like

  45. snacks says:

    I was just answering a question Bento, you should try it! ( I think you should give the “witty” comebacks a rest now)

    Like

  46. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Rolly , you should write the FOQ for this site.

    Like

  47. skink says:

    I’m on a roll…

    since you want to talk about Manchester, there are indeed some good lessons to be learnt.

    I went back there recently after many years away, and heard people proudly saying how great it was since theer had been some money spent

    “we’ve got an Armani shop, you know” they would say.

    Unfortunately, it is still much the same as it was, but with a few new signature buildings sitting in inappropriate locations that you can’t walk to.

    getting Santiago Calatrava to build a footbridge over the Irwell did not turn Salford into Barcelona overnight.

    Some Microbreweries and gay bars along Canal Street did not turn it into the Ramblas, because it smells of piss and people still throw shopping trolleys into the canal.

    The Lowry Centre is very nice, but nothing can turn Salford Quays into Sydney Harbour, because it smells of piss. It is also 4km from the city centre, so nobody can be arsed to go there, and if they do they probably need the loo halfway there and take a piss in the canal.

    there are lots of nice yuppie loft developments in the Quays, but the yuppies buy them, sell them at a profit as fast as they can so they can buy a big house in a leafy Cheshire suburb that doesn’t smell of piss.

    Like

  48. snacks says:

    valid points…. can you say anything positive about your home town?

    Like

  49. orbea says:

    where is your home town? The worst of perth blog is an affirmation of all the pisstaking we love to do about the city we choose to live in, not accepting it in its current form, bringing the hairy eyeball to the ordinary and extraordinarily worst of perth
    …and typing cunt a lot

    so snacks, why not tell us about your hometown and its vibrancy?

    Like

  50. Rolly says:

    Aw! Shit! Now I’m laughing again. :D

    Like

  51. Truth be told, I didn’t mean to allow comments on this page. Was just an entry page. But, when in Manchester…

    Like

    • Rolly says:

      Blame it all on snacks (or whatever he called himself). He of little understanding of the rites of the Lazy
      Australian satirical blog style.

      In fact I really feel that he had very little understanding.

      Of anything.

      Mind you, we, who might have known better, but so obviously didn’t, did rise to his to his rather vaguely presented bait.
      OK, we did manage to shake off the hook, but at what cost to the young lad’s/gal’s psychological well being??

      It had undertones of a bit of a set up, but I guess it was really borne of an unfortunate combination of ingenuity and a failure to read the nature of the blog and commenters.

      It’s amazing though just what a group of mature(?) adults can get up to without actually achieving anything greater than a bit of a “one up” on an experientially poor, partially educated student.

      Miserable bloody lot that we are.

      Like

  52. phreestyle says:

    There is some crazy arse timeshifting in this thread. It’s like an early Tarantino movie.

    Like

    • Rolly says:

      Yes, indeed.
      With replies to replies replying to previous replies replying to the reply previous it all gets a bit unsettling.

      Like

  53. ceebeer says:

    Has the ferris wheel been covered ?

    Like

  54. Pingback: Papyrus Checks Into Rehab

  55. DMc says:

    I think this pic speaks of a certain aspect of TWOP’s essence that isn’t adequately covered by the others already on this page, namely the Perth media and obsession with “Perth A-listers” including footballers… http://l.yimg.com/fv/xp/wan/20101015/20/1093636527.jpg
    (from http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/wa/8142567/kitchen-battle-in-the-name-of-charity/ )

    Not only does it have a footballer (albeit rugby), without a shirt on, being eyed-off by a model but it includes the irrepressible Patti Chong.

    To make matters worser, I think the West has had a go at social commentary through visual media. Here we have the footballer, almost bare-chested, looking directly at the camera (seeking media attention) while presenting a bowl of chillies (hot stuff?). Meanwhile, the “Perth A-lister” model eyes him off (ignoring the media/her career and going for the semi-famous guy) and caresses the rolling pin, which is in an erect position. Off to the side, or “lurking in the shadows” if you prefer, is Patti Chong, the prominent face of the legal industry, ready to pounce and beat the footballer to death with a stick of rhubarb representing loose legal argument; “Rhubarb! Rhubarb!”.

    Fuck knows what John Claite is doing there.

    Like

  56. Pete says:

    I too throw my parsley in disgust at this demonstration!

    Like

  57. The Legend 101 says:

    all that is gross and the swing is dirsturbing. The clown is good but i still dont get the caption send in the clowns what the hell.

    Like

  58. The Legend 101 says:

    That mailbox looks like Alexander Heights.

    Like

  59. i like your information and your picture.

    Like

  60. Rolly says:

    Troll on, baby.

    Like

  61. valerie woodruffe says:

    Having a soft spot for rottweiler dogs myself I was particularly touched and excited to see the painting you unearthed entitled, “Alsatian stares at a deformed woman’s genitals”. I am in the process of executing a similar painting myself of my husband and Snuggles which is entitled, “Deformed Mullaloo man stares at rottweiler’s genitals”, Upon completion I shall photograph it so you can publish it on “The worst of Perth”

    Like

  62. shazza says:

    You into this dogging thing valerie? That’s a genuine question, out of curiosity.

    Like

  63. shazza says:

    Catty perhaps.

    Like

  64. Fredherdick Nile says:

    My Dear Mrs Valerie Woodruffe, Shazza and NF#1, since my wife died recently of cancer of the rectum the Lord has moved me and led me to you, and told me to tell you and the rest of you loose perverts in Western Australia that beastality is a sin, and that if you continue in this doggy vein you all will cum to a sticky end.

    Like

  65. The Real Lady Mary of Downton Abbey says:

    Valgina, my dog Pharaoh has got the hump and wants to meat u. Wen will u b down on mullaloo dog beach?

    Like

    • valerie woodruffe says:

      Lady Mary, You will be able to find me on Mullaloo dog / horse beach soon with my new puppy (click on the link), sadly my faithful old rottiweiler bitch Snuggles died recently due to lymphoma, which I mistakenly believed was tonsillitis, caused by a foreign object in her throat, when in fact it was caused by human papilla virus according to the vet through a “Crime Against Nature”.

      Like

  66. valerie woodruffe says:

    I always find this page strangely erotic

    Like

  67. It looks good.I don’t really think Daylight Savings would have saved Perth from the dullsville tag.Melbourne Hotel provides the tourists and visitors an extremely unparallel and deluxe living experience in their hotels in Perth along with facility of
    Perth Pubs.

    Like

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