Greetings from the Village of Port Ewen, a historic hamlet on the banks of the Hudson that has done EVERY SINGLE THING IT CAN TO REDUCE ITS VISUAL APPEAL AND HISTORIC CHARACTER TO ZERO. Landmarks bulldozed, churches set ablaze, hideous developments, tacky civic “improvements,” political corruption, garbage-barge commercialism – you name it, it’s here!
First up–an Italian restaurant a few doors down from Van Loan’s (featured in TWoP’s first HRV chapter) I wish I could say the food is good.

This is the front lawn of the house next door.

And this is the house across the street.  I am afraid my crappy picture does not do justice to this sham castle, which is built out of tarpaper and fake wrought iron, and which incorporates the house next door, whose former inhabitants moved away in disgust. (Jeez Bartender, it looks pretty good for tarpaper! TLA)

No idea.  Main Street, Port Ewen.

There are about a dozen of these wretched things up and down Main Street as part of an “arts program” whereby “local artists” “decorated” “tugboats.”

Perhaps the worst of the worst.  Until this year, the two beautiful buildings on this sign, one of which dated to 1739, stood side by side on Main Street.  Until they were torn down by a bank for a drive-through branch.  And commemorated with the above plaque.
A better example of “this great thing used to be here until we destroyed it!” I have yet to see.
It literally makes me ill every time I drive past this.
We have but scratched the surface of Port Ewen, perhaps one of the region’s greatest piles of Worst.

Thanks Bartender.

Instead of one malapropism in The Echo this weekend, there were two.

How dumb are the Twilight film people for failing to tie in locally with the TWOP tipple of choice? No wonder Simon Miraudo described it as “generic melodrama, in which not a single moment rings true”.

How dumb are Woolworths? They can’t even spell chicen. Again we think of Spengler: in his Preußentum und Chicenismus he argued for an organic, nationalist version of poultry authoritarianism, and convincingly expedentiallised Weimar was lost because of $10 chicens.

I love this feature window at a Shenton Park building site. It could be a western suburbs Stargate.

And this Claremont phenomenon reminded me of Justin Langer’s latest Monthly essay. A new culture starts, JL holds, when persons in a dying, static, or purposeless society – at first only a few visionaries, often widely isolated – begin to see their surroundings from a new perspective.

Static? Expedential? A new dawn breaking? This bloke may be on to something, and I may not be able to post next week, as I will be at Curtin Uni’s Hayden Williams Lecture Theatre on Saturday. Forget Spengler – Michael Tsarion is the one to hold our hands along the difficult road of discovery…

“Ten years ago, in his first book on the Juliet balconies of Atlantis, Michael Tsarion predicted that by the year 2012, we will be in possession of the major truths about our origins and destiny. Ten years have elapsed, and fortunately many can indeed say that they have made progress along the difficult road of discovery. However, clever people also know there is still a long way to go. Man remains a mystery to himself, and this supreme mystery must finally be illuminated for true change to occur. Human 2.0 is on its way. He is the wet dream of the hidden controllers. Humans have been gradually reduced to the level of dugongs, so we need to find out what lies in store for us, and what action we can take to offset the age old war on consciousness. Man is ultimately his own savior. He can choose to think for himself or to wait until he is given permission to do so. Soon he may need permission to exist. Nevertheless, as I have emphasized many times, evil contains within itself the seeds of its own destruction. Michael believes that we may be living in the last days of universal evil and $10 chicens. Michael’s presentation closely examines where we are, how we are, and what we must take with us on the dangerous road toward 2012 and beyond. He will also reveal in great detail the symbolism used to subliminally imprint this agenda, and many others, into mainstream culture.” Only $92.79, and discounted ticket price for David Icke attendees!

(* A vanished worst ten days on: the strange writing replaced by a blank Target price-tag…see pics at bottom…dogs baffled).

A thousand years from now scholars and sociologists and counsellors will still be teasing out the meaning of this strange tapestry on James Street, Guildford. In 1947 a simple shepherd found the Dead Sea Scrolls; so it was on a Friday in 2011 a simple gerbalist stumbled upon the James Street Scrolls. The shepherd and DFOC: they both had flocks to tend. And a simple gerbalist cannot hope to decode these texts: BPOP, AMEN, LOCKED DOWN BARNETT, 2PAC. I don’t know what it means, but yea verily it is written.It was my destiny to discover the James Street Scrolls: many moons ago, in a more innocent time (like, before the Internet even) I clambered up into Cave 4 with a couple of other likely lads. How innocent? So innocent we didn’t even leave any boozies. We nearly broke our fucking necks climbing out and back up to the top when it was dark, though.I tell you, we worshipped deeply at the altar of Goldstar and Maccabi when we returned to our lodgings.

Gone:

No, it’s much more serious than that: Truthers still fearlessly walk among us, and they will have this model they built themselves, plus flyers, documentaries and other convincing stuff to educate us sheople.

“It’s that time of year. 10 years on and still no answers. Time to spread some truth and open some eyes,” they say on Meetup.com. “It has been suggested that being a Sunday we hit a more family friendly location such as Kings Park, where we have the ability to recreate. There will be a stall setup near the War memorial/flame in Kings Park with a “Google 9/11 Truth” banner displayed. Please come along anytime between 10am – 2pm and bring along family & friends, along with if you wish, something to eat/cook on the BBQs provided.”

They also have the ability to think TLA is a gerbalist, as Bento noted the last time Truthers were drawn to TWOPland. They were cruelly mocked by skink: “I blame the NWA: Dr Dre is in league with the Masons and elements of the Third Reich who escaped Berlin and settled in Girrawheen, where they have been trying to splice alien DNA onto the corpse of Chris Mainwairing. Ben Cousins found out what was going on and Ice Cube planted sunflowers on him to discredit him.”

If local Truthers aren’t your cup of nanothermite, buy a $77 ticket to see David Icke at UWA’s Octagon Theatre next week. If Truthers and Mr Icke got together they’d be irresistible.

“Join David Icke as he shares his new insights into the agenda of the New World Order and the solutions we need in order to reach our true potential on this planet. Speaking to a packed audience in Melbourne in 2009, the event was considered a huge success and inspired hundreds of truth seekers in Australia to start moving towards a peaceful evolution of non-compliance. David will be speaking for over 7 hours.” Proceeds towards helping fund David’s research into the New World Order.

No wonder the Dwyer/Flynn book was remaindered to $5 on Bay View Terrace in Claremont, where Dymocks used to be, last week. People don’t want New World Order propaganda pap from patsies – they want the Truthers! (Wait – a $5 shop on the Terrace? Is that a Worst?).

But the 376-page thing caused me angst: the bookshelves weren’t in the Workspaces chapter. The Billys and the Expedits turned up in Living Room, after coffee tables. Don’t get me wrong: I am no Ikea-boy seeking my erotic gratification. Nor was I wanting to have an extra-diegetic moment. I like inspecting the books on the shelves. How many copies of Find The Love of Your Life After 50 do you need in one claustrophobic space? Six, it seems: “We imagined what would happen if six friends decided to live together in 40 square metres.” What would happen? Prison riot.

I do admire, however, their retention of their umlauts, and those little circles above the As. It is almost enough to forgive them for their break-even hotdogs.

How long before I can turn on the fucking TV and watch the footy?

The Taj Mahal is made in China. Yes,

I am knowing I look like Steve Carrel.

As well as my souvenirs costing less,

It is a difference point when I sell.

How it changes colour, please to admire,

When the refinery makes some mistakes.

Snow dome mausoleum’s morning fire,

Turn the Ixus flashes into snowflakes.

Please to jostle past the Diana bench,

A Grand Forks lady died here yesterday.

Taking more photos distracts from the stench.

Next year will you be ticking Pompeii?

Postcards? Hashish? Lego? Mind the dead dog,

G’day mate, and clear your mind of the fog.

Twilight of the Thunderbird, private estate, Millbrook.

In Germantown the current owner of the historic Rockefeller family home has found a prosaic use for the New York State Landmark sign on the front lawn.Another wonderful rotting mansion Pine Plains.Update to Halcyon Hall in aristocratic Millbrook: one of the front gables has collapsed and Town Security now patrols the grounds. How sad to see this amazing place collapsing in slow motion from afar  Bartender.

How do you deal with a fire hydrant on your front lawn?  In Valatie, you deal with it like this!And to show that junk shops look the same and carry the same stock worldwide… Maybe there can be an exchange program with Guildford.

Junk shop....near Millbrook.

Thank God for Bento and the simple worsts he sees while taking the missus to the zoo.

I was checking the incoming links to TWOP, and I was pleased to see we have a fan in Istanbul! Titreklik!

UPDATE: 10.16AM: The morning has not improved. I took the bag from the Spud Shed with me, and there was only one ‘tatie left. I pulled it out, and before I took my first bite I lit a cigarette. It frightened me. Does it look like The Pope, or Arnold Schwarzenegger, or DSK? In my horror I threw it away and it’s now somewhere behind the toilet – still dark in here, so I can’t be certain.