The Worst of Perth » *Worst of china

Tai Ping on Their Arses

The Lazy Aussie — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 19:01:10 +0000

I specifically wanted to see the Tai Ping museum in Nanjing, because it highlights one of the classic worsts in the history of the world. A Chinese guy Hong Xiu Quan in 1860s or so got it into his head that he was Jesus’ little brother. Yes that Jesus. He managed to persuade a large band of crackpots that rather than being batshit crazy, he really was J’s bro, and to cut a long story short, 20 million people died. The Taipings took Nanjing as their capital. The Tai Ping rebellion lasted about 11 years until the Qing government with the aid of foreign luminaries such as Elgin, Perry (of opening up Japan like a drunken clam fame) Gordon (of killed by the fuzzy wuzzies fame) and many more more slaughterised their way to victory. You can well imagine how outre it would have been for the foreign devils to receive bibles corrected with Hong added as a main character. Funny thing is, the Taiping Bible, complete with beatings of Confucious in heaven (aided by Jesus’ wife no less) is no less plausible than the current Bible. Slightly more convincing I think. I kinda thought the frieze was remeniscent of the TWOP crew. Sorry if I have left you out of the frieze labelling. Woman were treated in a fairly equal fashion in Taiping society, being soldiers and cetera with the men, but they have slipped a little into the background in this artwork. Click for larger version.

Are we attacking Patti Chong, Michele Phillips or Paul Murray?

An earlier incarnation of The Lazy Aussie

Weekend Worstoff 59

The Lazy Aussie — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:38:29 +0000

A few more from my China trip. La Pavoni in Nanjing could be a little slice of Midland. Apart from the artistic impreetion, which Midland definitely doesn’t have.

And can someone tell me what the little lion is doing? It seems to be sucking…No. Couldn’t be. No way.

And one more from Nanjing. The shop calls itself a groggery, which is an excellent name. The Penninsular Hotel should be known as a groggery.

The Worst of Perth in China – Visual Enhancement

The Lazy Aussie — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 19:01:49 +0000

Two efforts to combine the visual, the sculptural and the advertorial in Nanjing China. The first one should have been an Aussino Steakhouse, but wasn’t. The second is from an Audit University. Could those fingers really hit those keys? And you’ll be pleased to know that an aesthetic and plastic hospital will be built on this site in Nanjing. Expect Chinesers with big boozies anytime soon. Hey, live and let live. Flying back tomorrow.

The Worst of Perth in China – White Dragon Rampant

The Lazy Aussie — Sun, 31 May 2009 19:01:36 +0000

Which of these bastards was holding the other white dragons?

Tankmaster’s Wuhan office. Not more than a bushie’s blow from the banks of the Yangtse, on Behind Chang (jiang) Avenue.

And I thought I’d throw in some Chinese boozie work for youse.

And the Aussino wine shop in Nanjing. Fortunately didn’t see another Aussino on the mainland. However Hong Kong is crawlin with late middle aged Aussinos, insisting on steak dinners and aussie beer.

Weekend Worstoff 58 – The Winnering

The Lazy Aussie — Sun, 31 May 2009 07:55:56 +0000

100 Perth things comp has been won.I must say I’m a little disappointed that it’s Outrage Cohen again who will take the prize with his slogan, “Complain about lack of local voices in arts, but don’t go see local theatre or plays.” Perhaps an outrage free comp next time?

Internet is normal again now in Hong Kong. They can mark 20 years of Tiananmen Square here, but no-one really cares. All news items are blocked on that topic on the mainland but again, no-one cares, particularly not Uni students.

I am indeed literally looking down on Nathan Rd and Hong Kong harbour as I type this. Here is the prize DFOC, soon to be hauled back to Perth by Cathay Pacific. A selection of Chinese ciggies, ranging from 30c a pack to $1. Ciggies are subsidised by the government in China. (You only get 11, one is promised to another.) I suppose some entrants may get a grim satisfaction from your hacking cough from a 30c pack of smokes, but this will be offset by the coolness of casually dropping a pack of Communist cigarettes in front of the cadres at the next union meeting. I have linked to a bigger pic so you can view the packs better. I can definitely see you with a pride in your mouth rather than that fucking pen. Thanks to the many voters and entrants.

Commie Sticks

The Big Green

The Lazy Aussie — Sun, 24 May 2009 19:01:38 +0000

Well I hope wordpress auto post is working. If you are reading this Perth morning, I should be stumbling off a plane in Hong Kong slightly less cranky than normal, having flown Cathay for once instead of hideous Qantas. I will shortly afterwards be stumbling on to another brand of Chineser aircraft for a short trip into “The Big Green” as Hong Kongers call the mainland. Going to Nanjing, as in rape of, and Taiping rebellion. WordPress is generally blocked in China, so I might not be able to moderate comments as quickly as usual. I’m not sure what this picture of concrete lion and Chinese ciggies means.

Weekend Worstoff 40

The Lazy Aussie — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 00:55:19 +0000

As usual some Worsts from the wider world. Meccano saw these embryos with erections in a park in Footscray Melbourne. How very odd and very worst.

Laser has also brought back some Shocking Asia from his recent China trip. This one from Shanghai. That is nice, although Laser it traditional for worst taking that you take a shot up the dress for this type of thing. Reminds a little of Eliza on The Swan except this statue has concrete clothes.

And to continue the statitular theme, here is a memorial to New Zealand Labour leader Henry Holland. Did he specifically ask that his grave be adorned with arses and boozies? I suppose Labor parties are the same the world over. Amazing that he was able to carry on the fight against tyranny and oppression (and even unhappiness) with those genitals, but hey wasn’t an Australian Labor leader Bob Hawke also hung like a cashew?

And an Engrish from Laser. Mmmmm.

Weekend Worstoff 34

The Lazy Aussie — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 00:00:11 +0000

Yes WW’off is late. Blame qantas, delayed flights etc. What is the correct description for Qantas these days? Is it ramshackle or is it cochamamie? Jeez they just get crappier every day. If the only value an airline has is that it hasn’t crashed and killed anyone yet, that’s not enough in my opinion. “We haven’t crashed yet, so we won’t have seat back screens, and we’ll make everybody watch only Mamma Mia from ten seats away. We haven’t crashed yet, so we’ll just leave your bags in Sydney. We haven’t crashed yet, so how about we take off whenever we feel like it and then look accusingly at you when you don’t make your connecting flight…”

Qantas. WORST. So here’s one from Cookster. A manly looking girl from China with a massive wine glass. As a toy. Yeah. I like that.

Slutty when drunk

And one from Turf. Remember we had a post on the Pert sign? Well here’s the R with someone giving Turf the double finger from on it.

Weekend Worstoff 12

The Lazy Aussie — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 07:22:07 +0000

Was quite a good worst week this week, possibly highlighted by Skink’s amusing stoush with Howard “Riddance” Sattler on the Fairfax blog, with the moderator deleting both Skink AND Sattler at one stage. The post on The Fairfax Online experience will soon be the most read and most commented on in TWOP history, even more than The Worst of The West Australian.

David “Teh Outrage” Cohen took the time to post a TWOP Perth reference on Wikipedia. Thanks Outrage. I hope it stays up. We also looked at how it is not possible to use a dolphin in graphic design without it looking terrible. I found this I hadn’t posted from when I photographed Rainblow Lodge.

The Bedford Crackpot gave me this in a seething rage. He seemed to think that this along with the TV ads casting public transport users as losers who should be driving a gas guzzling Ford as possibly criminal. Thanks Cracks.

This is more like it from another Ford seen in Cannington. Far more wholesome than the ad. Demonstrating that its panels are so strong that only a monster skeleton could break through.

An outside worst from my “real photos collection. An ad for a male prostitute on the 3rd Ring road in Beijing. A prostitute ad scatched into the city’s own filth/ Ring Road? it was all too much.

Have a good weekend.

Weekend Worstoff 11 The Vanishing

The Lazy Aussie — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 02:49:34 +0000

A long anticipated worst vanishing has finally happened. The Jumbo is extinct.

One of the lions had already been liberated last week, but the other was still attached to its pedestal. Must have been too heavy to carry off. I suppose it ended up in the rubble. Will be a lovely office block now. Goodbye Jumbo, or special treasure as the sign actually said.

The King of Bayswater reports that the Demo squad is now working on The Norwood Hotel, also previously featured. Goodbye Norwood.

While we’re on a demolition theme, here’s a picture I took in central Beijing in the famous Qianmen area. What you see is what’s left many poor people’s houses. They’ve been moved to the outskirts of the city. Goodbye Qianmen.

And one more demolition. here is the inside of Cinema City recently. Goodbye Cin City.