Will the “new journalism” relegate the Sigma – once as vital a part of a journalist’s armoury as a belt made of twine and twigs – to the scrapheap? Look at this example. The decals and roof rack make me think it might have once been the magnificent wagon-lit of a restaurant critic or editor. (Actually only an editor would rate an orca. Dolphins for lower ranks.) Now even a Community news reporter might aspire to a Honda Jizz or Hyundai Night Crawler. By Dylan H.

“I will weep over his remains.”

The TWOP team working hard to secure TLA’s release:

Even the dolphins are weeping at TLA’s captivity.

He’s on his own: Krazy Kym and I are off to the Media Ball!

In Claremont they put Nollamara on a pedestal.

In Guildford they’re concerned with bigger things.

Also in Guildford they’re getting a bit spooky: this scene at the train driver place must be a CHOGM exercise.

The next big thing: steering wheel cover headwear. Fashion maketh the man. My cravat was being dry-cleaned. T-shirt by House of Skink.

No, it’s much more serious than that: Truthers still fearlessly walk among us, and they will have this model they built themselves, plus flyers, documentaries and other convincing stuff to educate us sheople.

“It’s that time of year. 10 years on and still no answers. Time to spread some truth and open some eyes,” they say on Meetup.com. “It has been suggested that being a Sunday we hit a more family friendly location such as Kings Park, where we have the ability to recreate. There will be a stall setup near the War memorial/flame in Kings Park with a “Google 9/11 Truth” banner displayed. Please come along anytime between 10am – 2pm and bring along family & friends, along with if you wish, something to eat/cook on the BBQs provided.”

They also have the ability to think TLA is a gerbalist, as Bento noted the last time Truthers were drawn to TWOPland. They were cruelly mocked by skink: “I blame the NWA: Dr Dre is in league with the Masons and elements of the Third Reich who escaped Berlin and settled in Girrawheen, where they have been trying to splice alien DNA onto the corpse of Chris Mainwairing. Ben Cousins found out what was going on and Ice Cube planted sunflowers on him to discredit him.”

If local Truthers aren’t your cup of nanothermite, buy a $77 ticket to see David Icke at UWA’s Octagon Theatre next week. If Truthers and Mr Icke got together they’d be irresistible.

“Join David Icke as he shares his new insights into the agenda of the New World Order and the solutions we need in order to reach our true potential on this planet. Speaking to a packed audience in Melbourne in 2009, the event was considered a huge success and inspired hundreds of truth seekers in Australia to start moving towards a peaceful evolution of non-compliance. David will be speaking for over 7 hours.” Proceeds towards helping fund David’s research into the New World Order.

No wonder the Dwyer/Flynn book was remaindered to $5 on Bay View Terrace in Claremont, where Dymocks used to be, last week. People don’t want New World Order propaganda pap from patsies – they want the Truthers! (Wait – a $5 shop on the Terrace? Is that a Worst?).

We thought it would last our time

The sense that, towards the beach,
There would always be low-rise charms,
Where the OBH louts could climb
The bins while having a screech;
We knew there’d be false alarms

In the POST about ziggurats
And split level shopping, but some
Have always been left so far;
And when men in hard hats
And the bleak high-risers come
We can always escape in the car.

Cott is bigger than we are, just
As it will always respond
However we mess it about;
Chuck filth in the street, if you must:
The tides will be clean beyond.
- But what do we feel now? Doubt?

Or age, simply? The crowd
Is young in the Parade cafe;
Investors are screaming for more -
More boxes, more parking allowed,
“More vibrant sites,” says Day.
On the business stage, a score

Of Photoshopped grins approve
Some TPS bid that orders
Five stories here (and eight
More down the road): “Move
Your work to the marine borders.”
The minister decrees. Thanks, mate!

When you try to get near the sea
In summer . . .
It seems, just now,
To be happening so very fast;
Despite all the land left free
For the first time we feel somehow
That it isn’t going to last,

That before we snuff it, the whole
Groyne will be bricked in
Except for the pylon -
Dog box millionaires: a role
They really want to win,
But nothing for kids to climb on.

And that will be Cottesloe gone,
The pine trees, the dog beach, the lanes,
The scout hall, the playgrounds.
There’ll be books; it will linger on
The Internet; but all that remains
For us will be tilt-ups and breakdowns.

Most things are never meant.
This won’t be, most likely; but greeds
And garbage are too thick-strewn
To be swept up now, or invent
Excuses that make them all needs.
We just think it will happen, soon.

I am prepared to suffer such indignities when our toaster regularly produces blackened treasures: Amy Winehouse popped out the morning after she died!

I am a toast reporter anyway. This crowd emailed me about their press card: “Union dues mounting? Cost of membership a burden without any real benefit? OfficialWire’s International Press Card is an affordable solution…you’ll find the OfficialWire press card a useful tool that will grant you access to your next story.” Of course that is just the right tack to take with me so I took advantage of the tremendous offer: only 45 quid a year and 35 quid a year afterwards!

I know TWOPers share my concern about homeless toasters: I saw this one in Shenton Park. I showed it my press card and said I was there to get its story and it said:

From a factory deep I burned with hate,
And I lunched on old disgusting crusts froze.
Vegemite and quince paste caused me strife,
I woke to black smoke under a laminated sign.
When I died they found in me a ferret with no nose.