The Worst of Perth » worst carpet

At The Dog Rock Cafe

The Lazy Aussie — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 16:01:17 +0000

I meant to post this the other day, but it got lost. There should be plenty of things to worst about in Albany, but the fact that shops including bottleshops were open on Good Friday, while in Perth they were shut tighter than a nun’s camel’s took some of the wind out of the sails. There was a nice dead rat outside Wombat Lodge, and a painting of a woman with a compressed head that actually looks a lot better in the photo than it did in real life. Those might have to do. Oh and there was a Sigma parked next to a street rod in Busso, which probably meant that the head journo had been sent to cover street rod fest. A rusted Sigma. It might as well be a journo’s uniform.

Weekend Worstoff She-Ra Edition

The Lazy Aussie — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 05:02:41 +0000

Well I got up at 5:30 am to catch the train to see Lisa She-Ra Scaffidi speak about the future of Perth for The John Curtin Institute of Public Policy. (Or something). Was it worth it? Well yes. Bacon was provided, and several topics dear to the hearts of TWOP readers were discussed. Since no-one else had the nerve, I had to ask her about the elephant, or Ferris wheel in the room. She is a great wheel supporter, and apparently it is on the high seas and steaming towards us right now. We can only hope that Somali or Yemeni based pirates will hold the ship to ransom en route, and be baffled when no-one will stump up any cash. Will be much more appropriate for Mogadishu. No-one asked her what she thought about Paul Murray’s moronic “I’m not homophobic but…”comments unfortunately. I have added a poll below where you can vote for and suggest your own names for the new wheel. Suggestions in the “other” category so far are,

Adam Spagnolo’s Ring of Fire
Silly Thing on the Foreshore
The Fred Mafrica Lazy Susan
The Compensator
strategic wheel of mass distraction

On the positive side, it does look like the dumbed down Dubai on the foreshore has suffered the twin calamities of economic downturn and Julian Brendon Grylls and won’t go ahead in the preposterous form we were presented with by Carps. Something will happen apparently, but not that. Teh Mayor was also pushing for what I called artist garrets above some of the city centre stores like Florsheims on the corner of Hay and William. Sounds like a good idea, but how likely is it to happen I wonder, and how would we stop the artists escaping? The Corrigin kybosh also may delay yet again the refurbishment of the Treasury Building opposite She-Ra House, which would be a shame, as it has been vacant for too many years already.

I have a dream...

Lisa was wearing a grey suit, no, not the pink that some of you had hoped for, but she did have pink shoes, which I can only show with a blurry blowup of a wide shot, but She-Ra fashion fans will get the picture. Speaking of blurry, there was a powerpoint running with stills of the usual suspects, (Smith bronzes etc) but also inserted was some video of the city, which with my 10 years of video production experience, I diagnosed as a phone camera being used by someone unacquainted with visual skills. So jumpy, it gave the impression East Perth was being struck by a massive earthquake.

She can click them together and have a house fall on Peter Natrass

Nice that The Hyatt where the talk took place still remains one of the crappiest buildings in town, a hideous pile, with a tatty carpet appropriate to its ugliness. It actually looks better in the photo. Was a sort of purple colour in real life.

Hyatt, still worst

The triumphant partnership of She-Ra with The Worst of Perth in removing the Arse and Boozie sculpture to the wilds of Gomboc Gallery was questioned by one reader Vic Demised, who insinuated with this photo that the site was now worse than when the sculpture was there. Vic you artistic ignoramus. That’s a fucking installation, not merely a handy place for the cops to park while arresting children at the station. Go back to Osborne Park Vic. Or Russia.

Thanks for nothing The Worst of Perth

Mat Finish

The Lazy Aussie — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:15:35 +0000

The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them towards a Barina Berlina.

It’s no good, we can still see it’s a Holden. Been a while since we’ve had a carpet. Baby leopard. Good choice.

Resorting to (carpet) violence

The Lazy Aussie — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 12:39:56 +0000

I realised we have had only one carpet since Mazarina slipped into KGB headquarters with a spy camera to get us this. So I looked back through the files and found this one of the carpet at The Joondalup Resort.

KGB Headquarters

The Lazy Aussie — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 00:11:36 +0000

Worst Architecture/Carpet/interior design

Guest Post by Mazarina

Lovely words and pictures from Mazarina, although pictures always suffer a little out of a word doc for some reason. Now this building has been frequently suggested for The Worst of Perth, but I have to admit that I like it. A lot. It has some interesting angles. Some people have referred to it as KGB headquarters, but I even like the carpet. Mazarina says…

What says welcome to the ‘State of Excitement’ better than the cutting edge architecture of East Perth train station? I think the yellow skip bin art installation adds a jaunty touch. Perhaps it’s a clever device to catch employees jumping out of their windows.

Break out the corduroy beanbags because it’s ALWAYS 1975 in the office block at East Perth. I’m guessing this is why all the chairs have been unceremoniously dumped in the passage. Unfortunately my camera does not have smell-o-vision, so I couldn’t capture the full vintage charm of the groovy carpet. And of course too much brown was never enough in the 70s, hence the need to couple the carpet with stylish wood panelling. Yeah baby.

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