The Worst of Perth » The Lazy Aussie

Weekend Worstoff 188

The Lazy Aussie — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:30:57 +0000

Is lamination a dying art? They’ve got the spelling and incoherence, but where’s the lamma? By Adam.
Possibly connected with toilet facilities, Jaidyn Jaxxon was exhorted to “kill your employer”.
Some surprising truth in real estate advertising by Dave P.
And a spelling out of Perthwegian philosophy. Life is too short.

Worst well.

Stocks

The Lazy Aussie — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:09:56 +0000

So we can agree that the stocks have opened right? As seen by the friends of Adam G in The West Australian.

Drizzle on my stick

The Lazy Aussie — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:01:40 +0000

I can’t remember if we covered the fairly awful woman on a stick at Laurance winery in Margaret River. It is (of course) by the ubiquitous bronzing banalities the Smiths, but it’s not their worst work. At least it’s like on a stick. All their works should be on very tall sticks. But what I object to more is being told to appreciate Australia while staring at the arse of a woman on a stick. Like excessive flag waving, it is un-Australian. You can’t force me to appreciate freedom and opportunity in front of a golden arse! Aint going to happen. Please take a moment to piss off sans serif style. The Council tried to have this tableau removed in 2009, but unfortunately were unsuccessful. Perhaps it is appropriate that La Laurance’s sentiments are as empty and meritless as the sculpture. As seen by Skink.

Exposure

The Lazy Aussie — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 04:30:30 +0000

TWOP’er Cimbali is in Melbourne. Saw boozies. Saw flange. Saw ironic text juxtaposition. Took photo.

And Save Ubuntu

The Lazy Aussie — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:01:45 +0000

V was simply going to add to the stock of dumbarse handpainted cars, seen this time in Bronte Sydney, (not a million miles away from heeled green dogshit penis man in Waverley), but imagine his chagrin when he noticed the John Hughes Titan Ford number plate surround! Not only was this person a tool, but also an expat Perthwegian tool. And surely the snow leopard falls into the set of all creatures? I forget, does the set of all sets contain itself V? I was thinking that worst cars had played itself, but maybe a little juice left eh?

Taa Taa for Now

The Lazy Aussie — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:01:57 +0000

Lurker Peter f (no relation) has been hunting Ahab style for this apparently hand decorated tiger car for some time. So now he has it, so does the future. Say hello to Mainy.

Brown and Green

The Lazy Aussie — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:01:24 +0000

I thought I might juxtapose two street scenes that span our great land. Green link from Waverley in Sydney by Vincent B, and a Herdsman verge by Rob F. And if you have to ask what the brown stains are in Herdsman, then you are no Perthonian. (Or Perthwegian.)

Pontifex! Pontifex!

The Lazy Aussie — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 05:35:45 +0000

An anonymous contributor writes this re Brian Pontifex.

“When I was in Narrogin, bloody Pontifex Maximus was in yr12 at school. You couldn’t open the fucking paper without seeing a piece on Pontifex. Young Pontifex helping granny across Rd, Pontifex declaiming from the podium at the Rostrum club, Pontifex joining the junior Rotary Club, Pontifex raising money for the Narrogin Bowls club. Pontifex helping another old crone across the Rd — To the bowling Club. Pontifex discovering old Indian burial ground. Pontifex forming the Narrogin Junior Old Indian Burial Ground Preservation Society, Pontifex, Pontifex, Pontifex! Now I hear he’s helping another Old relic aka Colin Barnett. Dixie Marshal is no Spring Chicken either. Pontifex might be able to offer an arm as she struggles to get out of her car. I won’t be going back to the Subiaco Hotel if old Pontifex is going to be there mistaking some short haired dickhead in a suit and glasses for Mark McGowan. Here’s a picture of the young Pontifex in the Narrogin paper, no doubt after annoyingly completing some good deed. Shut up with your Pontifexes!…”

Brian Pontifex

2dorhor

The Lazy Aussie — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 16:01:46 +0000

The hor is for sale apparently, but it wasn’t a good advertisement that the dudes couldn’t get it started for several hours. Insert own hor jokes. “She wouldn’t turn over, – even for money”… Now I was literally born a Valiant man, but I was never a fan of the models from this one on. Being a former Valiant owner, let me guess. Overheating?

Weekend Worstoff 187

The Lazy Aussie — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:52:09 +0000

Time for another Hudson River Valley special from Bartender’s Skills with a Manhatten? After kind of rubbing our seamonkey noses in Teh valley’s rotting magnificence, he’s now getting hold of some real worsts.

Where utopia was left. Woodstock. (Not the Woodstock. A more half arsed Woodstock.)2 crackpot shops from half arsed Woodstock.A dress fashioned in the likeness of an artichoke, Rhinebeck.And a Mickey Mouse VW. Esopus.

And a splintery welcome for Hippies, again in Woodstock.

And a wonderful guitar gate. They do know they’re not the “real” Woodstock right BSWAM?