Suggest a topic for worst of Perth here. If you want to email me or send an image, go to contact Worst of Perth page.
How about a worst of perth teeshirt comp that can be voted on by readers, the winners could have their shirt made up.
I doubt there is a category for Missing Worsts, but perhaps there should be. Because remember that utterly craptacular wodge of limestone outside the Perth railway station that had been carved with legs and arms and arses, for some reason? I think it may have been intended to represent the street kids’ struggle for acceptance or similar. Anyway, point is, it’s gone. Don’t know where, don’t know when. But it was seriously worst.
And while I’m worsting – may I nominate the entire Perth railway station/Forrest Chase nexus in the category of Worst Public Space? I mean, you couldn’t design a space more likely to be urinated in/more likely to be the site of your next mugging than that spiral staircase to the right of the station. What gives with that awful bolted-together fiberglass stuff they are using in place of actual building materials?
And why would you design the frontage to Wellington Street like that? All you can see is the entry to some underground cavern, blocked off by black metal fenceposts that look like they came off a McMansion.
And, given that it’s an area teeming with social and locational difficulties, why the fuck would you let KFC and Macdonalds put tables out on the public square? Ooh, outdoor dining, how fucking European. Fail.
And why wouldn’t you clean it every now and again? There is filth everywhere, filth, I tell you.
And finally, why can’t someone just set fire to those octagonal bus stands outside the train station. They offend mine eye on a daily basis. Thank you. [/rant]
Where have you been?
Oh how embarrassing.
In my defence, I only recently moved back here, and I refuse to get the West on the basis that it sucks.
Back in my box.
Never mind, the archives have gotten way too big to keep track of. Even searching for a term such as “Boozies” will give you several results nowadays.
Yes. And, frankly, it is an outrage that there’s no way of reading this blog in chronological order. A disgrace.
Typical Perthian reply.
What do you think this website is done by itself?
Damn I hate the ignorant people in Perth. Not everyone, but it always amazes me the gaps…the size of the Pleistocene era.
My favorite way to refer to these people of this region is: “The Galapagos of the Western World”RegName
Where you expatting from Tdog?
perth is shit
Your point being?
Give it to him, Tdog.
He Drives a Sigma, Tdog. Hyperbole is his stock in trade.
It is a disgrace – and an outrage – that this website is done mainly by itself, with minimal help from a booze-soaked, barely-literate ageing stick insect who is not respectful to Mr Murray.
Speaking of booze soaked, I have returned closer to stick insect status with what I should be marketing as my Hard Liquor diet. Have lost 8kg by replacing beer and wine with cognac and vodka.
served in a brandy balloon?
I also forgot to ad, the people living in the nOrthern suburbs, should you ever have such neighbours- are keen to make threats against you and your pets as soon as somehting does not go their way. My pet was killed by one of them.
Thank you janeZ, I have to see that shit daily and the resulting brain hemmorage prevents me from finding the words to express my utter despair, and how about expanding your fire idea to cover the whole CBD. regards bernzilla.
Hey L.A this is meccano new and improved, meccano101. keep up the bad fight.
Hey Meccano. Like the av. I pictured you bulkier.
I’m just big boned.
LA I must confess that I am a Worst Of Perth addict.
I have been leaving my children in the car outside the casino, while I sit at home completely consumed by the latest worst ofs.
speaking of casino’s, remember the public outcry when that went up. How do we feel about it these days?
It’s still a craphole with Asians in polyester pants wandering about looking for somewhere to smoke. Supposedly to be demolished.
Demolished, wow. It only seems like yesterday it went up.
Ah the giant fly zapper – such memories. Crap memories.
I always thought it looked like a giant prolapsed haemorrhoid, mooning the sun.
You’ve gotta add a category of airport to your list of the worst. It’s asking for it.
It’s on my list, which is nearly 100 topics long. I’m having to post twice a day to keep up. The Maracoonda motel nearby also.
Worst opening hours? Bottle-o’s open at 8.30 in the morning (why?) and closed by 8pm (no chance of fine wining and dining into the night then?). Truly amazing/ridiculous…
Yes. Shopping hours ridiculous. Will get a picture of closed shop to illustrate your point. Great suggestion.
I know this kind of place. They cater for the seasoned day drinker. Two four litre casks of Buronga Ridge 8:45am everyday, no questions and no bullshit.
There’s one just like it in East Perth opposite the park and Silver City.
As a contender to Worst architecture, have you driven past the “flats” being built between the casino and the golf course? Reminiscent of Singapore in the 1970′s but with million dollar price tags. They dont improve from the river view either. Vic Parks’ Bromley(?) Towers are even better. To top it off they all face west to cop a blast from the setting sun. So not only UGLY, appalingly energy inefficient. I suppose that if you can afford one of these you can afford to run the air-conditioner full time too and you probably may not care what others think.
Do you mean Brownley Towers JE? They are in Bentley, but I know what you mean. Regarding the air conditioner stuff. Have a look at the appalling Subi redevelopment. All the places are roasted by the sun and have no shading eaves. You can’t open a window.
Brownley Towers are public housing, pretty sure, so not sure they do buy air conditioners.
The dingiest and dirtiest shopping centre I have encountered in all Australia, KOONDOOLA PLAZA SHOPPING CENTRE, Koondoola Ave and Burbridge Ave, Koondoola, smashed up shops, bullet holes, needles and graffiti etc. bars on everything, no maintenance or security, right next to a tavern! Especially their XXX, where they like to repack damaged foodstuffs and do body searches on customers. XXX should keep some standards of health, they must know what is going on.
I know it’s 3 years too late, but do you mean this place?
there is a pothole there that not even bargearse could fill
Thanks baily. Haven’t been out that way for a long time, Had a similar suggestion for Nollamara. Thought I might need to obscure name of rogue trader.
If you’re ever in the vicinity of Padbury, do pay a visit to Forrest Plaza Shopping Centre–surely a contender for one of Perth’s worst. While you’re there, you’ll notice a two-storey house across Forrest Rd which can only be summed up with two words: “The” and “Castle.” Between 4 to 6 cars on the front lawn, and there is a sliding door on the first floor which opens onto, well, nothing!
I know the junk castle well… I lived looking down on the worse back yard ever!! Disgusting!! I will say that Robin at the hairdressers is a freaking crack up in a good way and the now owners of the Deli are lovely too!! Back to the junk yard.. Is well worse than the front.. Gross!! Worse back yard!!
What about the sides? Did they have junk down the sides, too? Both sides?
Worst church: St Lawrence’s, Balcatta. Almost as tacky in design as the houses in the area.
Worst name for a nightclub: The G Spot, Joondalup (not sure if it’s still open)
I’ll make it my business to be in Padbury
You won’t be disappointed.
Actually, the Whitfords area (Rob Johnston’s stomping ground, incidentally) is a veritable gold mine of sins against good taste, where The Castle aesthetic abounds. Head about a mile north along Marmion Ave to see a circular monstrosity known as Our Lady of the Mission Church in Craigie (which is almost as bad as the A-frame Our Lady of Grace Church in North Beach). In fact, I heartily recommend the Camberwarra Drive walking tour. Be sure to bring your camera, but be discreet–or prepared to run very fast–as it’s Bogan city. Eddystone Avenue is another can’t-miss.
Or head east and then north via Whitfords Ave and Northshore Drive, until you reach Mullalloo Beach. Before you will stand one of the gaudiest mansions you ever did see–white with pillars encrusted in what look like silver diamontes.
Kallaroo is another story. Dampier Avenue separates the haves from the wish-they-hads. Bridgewater Drive (in the wish-they-had quarter) is pencil pine central, and I daresay contains the highest concentration of Aussie flags on flagpoles on the face of the planet.
I’ll have the car serviced so there’s no chance of a breakdown. Actually I’m more worried about getting the koondoola shopping centre. I’m going to have to take leave to get this. Will try to get out that way maybe saturday. I’ve photographed around the world but Koondoola..?
The lady in the river who has appeared along Mounts Bay Rd. WTF ?
She appears to be standing on a rubbish bin.
Who is this moistened bint of whom you speak BillO?
there’s a new sculpture I think in crawley.
Yes there are mysteries about Perth. The lady in the river on the rubbish bin. Incidentally she wore a nice frock for Melbourne Cup day. A bigger mystery is the old power station in East Perth. The only thing that seems to happen to it are new signs like ” opening soon Your government at work blah blah blah”. We owe much to Alannah McT.
Also has any body got any shots of the Coffin Cheaters headquarter after the arson attempt ?
what street is it on? Do you know Bill?
It’s in Raleigh Rd in Bayswater.
It was an interesting exercise finding that address via Google: all the BS drama that goes with those FHs. The most interesting one was the army person staggering down Raleigh Rd no doubt in hot pursuit of a rocket launcher.
I haven’t seen it mentioned yet (so forgive me if it has been), but there’s a church backing onto Guildford Rd somewhere around 1st or 2nd Avenues that has next to it a one-story, vaguely art deco, white, um, building that urges us to “Pray For Australia”.
I don’t have a USB connection for my phone, but I can text a pic I took while walking home a coupla weeks ago. Email me with your number if you like…
Hugh, the spot you refer to is on the corner of Guildford Rd and Seventh avenue and is a grotto behind the Seventh Ave Catholic church. The grotto actually has an interesting history. it was funded by east European catholic migrants who came from soviet Blok countries, predominantly Poland. The exhortation “Pray for Australia” expresses their great concern that Australia should not fall to communism. The sign was not illuminated for many years however a few years ago (maybe about 2006?) the new priest had the globes replaced as a deterrent to the urbane sophisticates whom he had discovered used the grotto as a local shag spot. Isn’t it evocative – shagging on asphalt under the watchful gaze of Our Lady!
Has been covered here.
i’m real close. I’ll go have a look.
worst christmas lights of perth!
35 ally. I have a shot of them already. will be up soon
Oops, my Pray for Australia place can actually be found around 7th Ave, not 1st. What can I say – I’m new in the area and can’t count or read… ;)
The people of Stirling for thinking that six figures worth of billboards & bus stop ads mean they have a hard-working local member; and for choosing a baby-faced silvertailed real estate agent over a scar-faced right-on war hero…
Worst (Federal) MP:
Michael Keenan, for saying during the campaign that the day Workchoices was passed was the best day of his life (girls – guess what – he’s single!). Here’s hoping he enjoys the next few years as much as the low-paid workers of Australia have enjoyed the past few.
Appropriate graphics can be found on his website
Is he the hoon man?
Not sure… you mean tough on hoons?
yes, I think he was anti hoon.
Great website. How about worst feature film with scenes in Perth? We’ve had some that Perth can be truly proud of – Japanese Story and Nickel Queen come straight to mind.
Ah, the nickel queen. Also Harlequin. There was a local movie that had Dave from Diffs in it. I actually worked on some bad Perth movies. Day of The Panther , The Strike of The Panther, and Zombie Brigade.
Like the av Lazy. Takes me back to the days of the 150th celebrations and G’day from WA t-shirts.
I got one, not physical, but unique to Perth.
The Transperth website.
It is absolute shit.
Following up on the anonymous poster’s comment about the Transperth web site – how’s about Transperth Smart Rider for Perth’s worst concept.
Do I need to go into detail? I’d be here all night if you need me to…
Since the beginning of the concept, I like to call it the Arserider.
This site is great… been living in the UK for a while and it brings back so many memories, especially of Morley. The ‘Pray for Australia’ church is very close to my heart.
A few of my Perth favourites:
1) There’s an absolute hideous house on Wanneroo Road near the ABC transmitter that is walled by a metal grille fence and stuffed full of old cars and radio antennas. It’s roughly here:
2) It’s a little advertised fact, but the CSIRO Arctic division has built some igloo houses in Kewdale on Rual Place:
… you just have to see it.
Thanks mate will have a look.
Could we have a category for “Public Spaces”. Has anyone had a look at the new landscaping arrangement at Point Fraser in East Perth? It is an absolute abomination. I recently had to rescue a bewildered and non-plussed young Irish backpacking couple who were totally confused and shell-shocked by this hugely expensive shadeless ugly triangulated maze that goes no-where despite having walkways wide enough to take a combine harvester.
We used to have a nicely treed and fairly natural parkland / bushland riverside walk, that just needed the river bank to be tidied up and repaired. Now we have an synthetic and unfriendly nightmare of stainless steel and concrete, that gives no access to the river shore – just frustration and anger at the desecration of nature.
Could the new Lord Mayor please visit this site and arrange for it to be sorted out.
Here I go again, still in East Perth, at another Public Space.
If I had a dream…..it would be to pull out all the palm trees from Queens Gardens.
Their horrid top-heavy verticality spoils the look of this garden.
In my mind’s eye I try to imagine how beautiful this park would be………….just with the soft random shapes of the deciduous and native trees….
If you want to see what I mean, just compare the gentle elegant look of the South shoreline of the river, with the tawdry and serried row of palms on the canalised North shoreline.
It’s new- it’s true! Gardens Of The Globe seized opportunity to rip out all palm trees in Perth-Yay! Service NOT offered in Koondoola or Morley. Too dangerous, too many middle eastern Bro’s with chainsaws. Get up their palm & they’ll take your nuts off as you scream & pray to die & be taken to Prosser Scott funeral “home”. Hello- it’s a departure lounge, nothing ‘homely’ about it. No one will be booked by Blue Dudes for your murder. BD also very scared of Perth’s lovely suburbs. Checked out Lockridge? Queen’s Park? Not a fairy to be found in QP. Lansdale shopping centre V scary- I got hit by hoon there- with his CAR- ON THE CROSSWALK. He was as blind as a welder’s kelpie. Kenwick pretty skungy- but absolute WORSTbuilding has to be vomit green bacterial monument- the Exhibitionists Centre. That;s why Perth “Apartments” are going cheap- all those flat dwellers waking up to green vomit every day- lovely view!
How about the perth state art gallery. Ugly brutalist architecture on the outside. Just as abysmal on the inside. Rarely ever any really interesting sculpture on display, or paintings for that matter. Perth needs a new and more visionary contemporary state art gallery with a more exciting collection and format.
Philanthropy. Perth multi-millionaires if they’ve ever heard of such a word.
Even try experimenting with giving unknown outside artists a go when it comes to putting on exhibitions and such. Not only all the little insiders [ and we know who they are dont we girls].
But god that building for an art gallery!!
Well, LA, since you so bravely took up my suggestion and travelled to the John Curtin Memorial in the deep south of Fremantle, I give you the Eliza Crawley Baths Sculpture (actual huming beans not included):
Now, I’ve done a bit of swimming in my time, and I have never attempted to:
a) overwhelm fellow swimmers with my amazing powers of hypnotism, just to get a spot in the lane,
b) dived from a fruit-crate, or
c) turn into some sort of Mussolini Super-Swimmer.
All in all a quite magnificent effort.
Press release here:
It looks like she’s standing on a rubbish bin. I had a shot of a bin to go with a pic of this, but you beat me to it. CK
I don’t live that far from the bathing lady ‘mussolini’ sculpture and often walk past it on the way to perth.
It is typical of a tony jones public sculpture. Has to be seen from afar otherwise it makes you cringe.
Perth does not have any really accomplished sculptors of the figure. At least any that get commissioned to make sculpture.
And arses are notoriously hard to do, as we have seen from the Station job.
Well LA, I think Tony Jones deserves a post all of his own.
How does he fit it all in? Apart from being one of the nation’s top journalists, presenting Lateline four nights a week, he’s also an ace Perth sculptor.
But recent efforts (Crawley, above) and the CY O’Connor memorial somewhere south of Freo here:
suggest he should be kept well away from attempting to replicate anything that may have once been living or breathing.
I have never been to Stirling, bit this looks like an early attempt at replicating the human form:
This, apparently, has something to do with the City of Stirling “enhancing the built environment.”
Earth to Tony: Please, stop it.
The CY O’connor is pretty interesting don’t you think? Don’t like crawley. Can’t really tell about the big figure.
Tony Jones is part of the club that use the platform of ‘concerned politics’ as means to ensure they get all these commissions.
If you dont agree with them its because your mysoginist, anti-environment, racist, whatever.
They really suffer from the ‘too much competition is bad’ syndrome.
I have never seen the CYO’ sculpture before. it is pretty amazing.
I am not sure what else Tony has done but I love this.
They really suffer from the ‘too much competition is bad’ syndrome.-greg hoey
I definitely second the suggestion for worst Christmas Lights in Perth. There are certainly some shockers!
Couple of suggestions :
1) Telstra Phone Exchange building on Wellington St – how could anyone have ever thought it was a good idea to plonk a windowless beige monlith in the CBD.
2) Telstra Phone Exchange on Pier St – it took over 3 years to renovate the facade of this piece of shite and we still ended up with a piece of shite
3) Barrack St between Wellington and Hay, Murray St between Barrack and Pier, William St between Wellington and Hay. $2 shops for cheapskate cretins, gaming arcades for Asian drug dealers, internet cafes for unemployable turds this whole precinct deserves nothing more than a cluster bombing
4) The entire suburb of Hillarys. No amount of neo-classical columns will disguise the fact that you are a tit and you have more money than taste
These are all good suggestions sniglet. I am wondering wether the big Telstra on Wellington is more a curiosity thanbad, now it has been up for so long.
“I definitely second the suggestion for worst Christmas Lights in Perth. There are certainly some shockers!”
Indeed Amy. And as we have entered the six-week news-free zone, The Waste will inevitably be featuring every godawful neon calamity celebrating Happy Birthday Jesus in the early news section.
One question, though. As we’ve just had a change of government based, at least in part, on climate change, how much extra power per house do these monstrosities consume?
Can we not have a name and shame campaign? Peace and goodwill be buggered.
QV1 building – I know, I know its a Harry Seidler creation but he also created the universally hated Blues Point Tower in Sydney. It’s OK when you’re right up close but from a distance it is abhorrent, it just doesn’t fit no matter where you are viewing it from. It always reminds me of a big piece of chalky dog crap.
Being Christmas, is it not time for a WOP grogblog?
I would actually prefer somewhere quiet and not worst.
Yes we should, though having a 3 yo limits my options a little.
Has anyone nominated Mr Fist the Optometrist, yet? (318 Murray St. Perth)
Sort of. I saw a pic of his sign on another site, and asked if I could use it, but no response. I’ll go and get it myself sometime.
Esp,, people in SUV’s. Uncreative, arrogant, lazy, obstructive, dangerous, nasty, short tempered.
Surf wear. Perth is awash with the crap. In fact, my impression is Perth wardrobes are influenced by surf leisure wear more than any other Australian city. Bad wrap around shades, older people in flouro with terrible extreme sports slogans.
I want to know why blokes are wearing women’s sunnnies these days.
because there fagots
They think they look they’re in the SAS. It’s the zeitgeist.
Sadly, however, not too many thongs and boardies in southern Afghanistan.
Look, I know WOP can’t be everywhere, but haven’t we missed something?
“PAGEANT LIGHTS UP PERTH CITY
Carmel Sander and Michael Washbourne
December 07, 2007 10:00pm
THE spirit of Christmas swept through Perth last night as a glittering procession of 40 floats made its way through city streets in the 35th annual RAC Channel Seven Pageant:
How bad was this homage to Santa Clause?
Exclusive footage here:
Yes, I should have been there. We did consider taking the boy, but decided it would have been too horrible. I am going to try and get all the decorations in the city this weekend though.
Worst newspaper/worst sub-editor:-
(Ahem) I give unto you the breakout box from p18 of today’s Worst Weekend Magazine, featuring a profile on Billy Bragg :
“Billy Bragg, the angry leftie whose 1977 punk version of God Save the Queen outraged a nation turns 50 next week…”
Er, hello? Sex Pistols anyone? Sounds like someone needs to sharpen their Google skills.
Oh, and reading, as the first par of the actual story states pretty clearly that Bragg:
“… bought Sex Pistols’ anarchic punk version in the Queen’s Jubilee year of 1977…”
Actually not a bad piece by Simon Collins, and this egregious piece of crap masquerading as an intro is definitely not his fault.
Why is there no law in this state against fuckwits?
Saw Billy play the Perth Concert Hall in 1987ish [/irrelevant]
Saw him at (I think) Canterbury court somewhat later.
Here it is – The Sunday Times Christmas lights shame file:
The horror. The horror.
I must confess, I love the tacky christmas lights although the english imagery, as in snow et al could be improved upon – Where are the six white boomers?
(did I really see Bart Simpson in amongst that lot, I can’t bear to look again in case it’s true)
Please do a story on the millions of 78 records stickers you see while walking down Hay Street. I counted about 80.
It has become part of the landscape hasn’t it? with Blind Someone something on it.
LA, I think it’s Blind Willie, or Blind Cootie, or or Blind Someone Or Other.
He’s a black dude who likes venetians. What’s wrong with that?
One for Worst of the World: Ladies, Gentlmen, Esteemed Children, I give you the NORAD Santa Tracker (do not attempt with dial-up):
Sorry, but I have Christmas Rage…
Christmas rage already CK? it’s only 10 am!
As long as Santa doesn’t disappear from radar screens.
The new library at ECU Joondalup. Seriously, it’s hideous. It’s all bent and log-cabinny, and has a hideous mix of aubergine and some awful green coloured shutter things covering the front.
And apparently, for all the money it cost to build, it only has slightly more shelf-space than the old one did.
You mean it’s worse than Freo public library:
lovely coloured walls, attractive metal shelves and I particularly like the idea of having every shelf an inch higher or lower than the adjacent one.
I nominate the whole of Port / Leighton Beaches – no improvement in facilities for the last 30 years and easily the most neglected bit of coastline in the metro area. At Port the disgusting changerooms/toilets are locked at 7.00 pm – this hasn’t changed with the Daylight Saving trial so it can be hot and sunny (real time 6.00pm) with hundreds of people at the beach and the toilets and changerooms locked.
Leighton Shores(“A Place for Everyone” says the billboard – but not if you have less than a million $$ for a dogbox) has been enhanced by planting 6 mature palm trees into the sand and the installation of street lights; they didn’t bother to put in street lights on the section of road between Cottesloe and Leighton Shores – this is actually West Coast Highway, which becomes a single lane, unlit hazard of roaring trucks, cyclists and cars turning into/off the road into parking areas. A disaster.
Leighton Hores : another Alannah McTiernan triumph.
East Perth Police HQ
I nominate Geraldton as the home of the worst interior design taste in WA (the exteriors aren’t much either) – enjoy the smorgasbord of lace, vomit curtains, exposed interior brick and stuffed animals by searching the real estate listings – some of my favourites:
All that’s missing is a bronze sculpture of Mainy on the main drag and the place will be complete!
This is more of a mystery than a ” Worst of “. Why is the centre of Indian worship in Perth in Canning Vale ? We have the Sikh temple in Nicholson Rd and the Hindu temple in Warton Rd.
I think there’s a version in Maylands.
Now that I’ve put on dry pants (as a result of this admirable listing) I’d like to say thanks to LA and all the rest of you for this brilliantly illuminated reflection of what makes Perth – Perth.
LA that’s the Buddhist temple in Guildford Rd , Maylands. I always think of it as the squash court it previously was.
No Bill, sorry I actually meant Bayswater. there’s an old christian church that’s been converted to some kind of subcontinental establishment. Just behind shops on King william. The buddhist is a converted squash courts I think
Hare Krishna Temple
144 Railway Pde Bayswater ?
Talking of bad sculptors and their sculptures, Robert Hitchcock (who I HATE to admit may be a relation of mine) created the Yagan statue, infamous for continuously losing his head. I have an odd feeling that Uncle Robert may have been chopping the head off himself just so he could receive the exorbitant commission to make the replacements. Alas, if only I had proof!
Nettie I was wondering how one gets to see Yagan these days as he is fenced off with savage kangaroos to guard him. I liked how the head looked more and more like Ridge Forrester from The Bold and the Beautiful every time.
Can you get permission to go into his compound?
Across from yagan is the burswood sculpture park. Oh my god! some of those pieces just so crass. Esp., the one of herb elliot and margaret [surname eludes] holding torch I think.
Where is that exactly greg? Next to the casino, or on heirisson island?
I doubt it LA. I don’t even talk to my Uncle if I can help it. He’s a complete asshat to be honest. I haven’t see the statue in years and years – well before the whole lost heads thing. I didn’t even know they had it all fenced off now, although it doesn’t surprise me. But one has to wonder what the point of having a sculpture is if the public can’t even view it?
Let’s forget crappy Burswood sculpture parks for the moment.
Nomination for Best of Perth: Bullcreek aircraft museum. They have a Lancaster, but sadly not a Tupolev-34.
Probably also a nomination for Worst Web Page http://www.raafawa.org.au/wa/museum/ but, hey, at least they’re trying.
I would like to suggest The Worst of Switzerland:
Apparently they REALLY hate those mountains…
worst music and/or entertainment at a 20/20 cricket game?
its killing me
Charge those batteries and free up some memory on that camera flashcard, LA! Lotterywest Skyworks is coming soon!!!!!!!!!
You want Worst of Perth????!!!!!!
Gee, do you think they’ll play Phil Collins “In the air tonight”
Great southern Land.
The giant baby painting on the wall of Baby Goodie, 320 Great Eastern Highway, Midland. But be warned – I was never afraid of the dark until the moment I clapped eyes on that thing. Now I sleep with the lights on.
I took a shot the other day Del, but I missed the giant baby. the sign on the roof was bad enough. might put it up tomorrow.
It’s on the western wall of the building, on your left as you drive into Midland from Guildford… *Shudder*
Has a fish too.
It’s a ruse. That baby’s from the third circle of Hades.
Is it just me or is that new statue on riverside drive near the causeway a bloody eyesore that should never have been allowed by the CoP or what?
this one LA:
it was launched last sunday, i particularly love the handrail.
I would like to suggest Worst Avatar.
In particular, Tomthrett.
I find it really creepy and weird.
What about you CK? Where’s yours? Apparently you can get a universal one without having to open a blog account here?
No, LA, I won’t post the avatar, at least not yet.
But tonight I have been reminded of my disgraceful behaviour last Friday evening whilst drinking on the company account.
Some complete fairytale re falling over people while drunk, apparently.
I don’t believe it for a second.
If you have an avatar does that make you avatistic?
Not at the ‘Ling or The Rang-er I hope CK. You’re the mining man right? Sounds like the sort of event you’d see My Ning at.
Err, the ‘Ling and Rang-er are pretty well outside the Independent Republic of Fremantle I’m afraid LA.
For Teh Worst Southside I’d recommend the Davilak Tavern at the Satan’s Arsehole end of South Terrace.
The bottleshop staff in particular are really customer friendly.
As in “I just love waiting for 11.00 to roll around and seeing that last desperate group of Aboriginals stumbling up the street to nick all the grog and then shutting the rollerdoor…”
This ain’t my pic, but this pic of our Newest Opposition Leader deserves a post of it’s own :-)
Oh Frank, that’s so unfair. I understand that Troyboy has promised to give up raping and pillaging…
I notice he’s polished off a couple of tins of that execrable middleweight cat’s piss known and reviled as The Red Death. That’s disappointing. Should’ve been two cans of Kenny at the very least. What sacrifices he must make to avoid the Droop.
Perth Airport – I caught a flight out last week and the check-in line stretched all the way to the exit near the baggage carousels http://trs80.ucc.asn.au/imgp1155.jpg http://trs80.ucc.asn.au/imgp1156.jpg
The pilot even apologised for the lateness and called the terminal in need of demolition.
Can I suggest a new category: “WORST PERTHONALITY”
I think the term “Perthonality’ encapsulates everything that is worst about this town – especially the kind of Z-list microcelebs that it is used to describe – and the pathetic way they mug up to the cameras assuming somebody knows who the f**k they are.
unfortunately the queen bee of this annoying swarm has left us, and I kinda miss Rose now that we are forced to look at the also-ran wannabees.
I will start the ball rolling by nominating Basil Zempilas, whose relentless self-promotion is only matched by his incompetence. I recall him commentating of an Olympic basketball match involving the Czech Republic, and spending the entire broadcast referring to them as Czechoslovakia, despite being corrected repeatedly by his co-host.
1. that Ugly-iti woman (already mentioned on this site)
2. Troy Barbagallo (can I be the first to point out that his name, in Italian, means “hairy c*ck” ?)
3. Susannah Carr (why is she still on the telly?)
4. that annoying blonde with the whiny nasal voice off the travel show
5. John Hughes (you’re not a philanthropist John, you’re a bald second hand car dealer, and we don’t care about your overdressed trophy wife)
and over to you…
I thought you were going to say Perth’s Heath Ledger. No one’s got me a picture of Gary Shannon yet.
I wouldn’t class Ledger as a “Perthonality”. he was a genuine international star of real talent. Once you get an Oscar nomination, I think you move onto the A-list, and get the hell out of this town.
to class as a Perthonality, one must be famous only in Perth, unknown outside, and yet must act as if getting your picture in Holly Wood’s column is equal to an Oscar nomination.
I went to see “Hey Hey it’s Saturday” when they recorded it at Burswood in ’92 or thereabouts. Gary Shannon was a guest on the show as a ‘local Perth radio personality’, but was struck dumb with stage fright. he blew his big opportunity with a national audience, poor lamb, and his star has receded along with his hairline
Heath comes up in the stats. TWOP has enough traffic to appear in many google search front pages.
[No one’s got me a picture of Gary Shannon yet.]
There is this classic “Pic” from 1978 :-)
And a more recent pic: http://www.mytalk.com.au/Stations/Talk/6PR/PublishingImages/100/279.jpg
6PR – the retirement home of ex 6PM Jocks (along with 6IX).
How about the worst council(s) in Perth?
I nominate Subiaco for pure ineptutide and beauracratic idiocy,
led by a Mayor and a CEO who with all the vision of Mr Magoo.
I won’t even go into the extensive list of suspect decisions made by these incompetents’, but at the top has to be preventing small bars from opening within 200m of the existing hotel.
Maybe the CEO’s holiday house is on the CCC radar, maybe not?
This holiday home. If it’s ugly, tell me where to find it. Yes, this small bar thing is crap. They have finally resolved it in Sydney. Melbourne has so many interesting small bars around. It really does make a big difference to the city.
I hate to give these guys any extra publicity but did anyone see those two idiots caught for a years worth of graffiti vandalism – one got prison and one got off. Weren’t they a little OLD to be tagging around town? In the picture (in the West Australian) one has his own surname tattooed on his arm! I don’t think you can get any WOP stupider or more pathetic than that.
Nomination for most stupid story ever in worst newspaper (well this week anyway)…. isn’t it typically intellectually backward not to be able to synthesise competing concepts…. it’s harmless fun AND embarrassing yobboism, where’s the controversy?
How about the worst nightclub of the eighties?
I suggest Pinnochios of Murray Street, What a Dump!, but well patronised since late night clubs were few and far between in those halycon days, SNORT!
Damn it all. I spotted Julie Bishop’s powered roller-skate – a contender for worst graphic design/worst car – outside a worst graphic design shop in West Perth this arvo.
Sadly, the mobile phone-cam had been left at work, and really I couldn’t be fucked. Bugger, bugger, bugger.
The map’s pretty cool BTW. There’s two of us online at the moment. Hello whoever you are in the UK!
Yes architecture is fascinating ‘n all, but your site ‘motto’ says it features the worst “Humanity” – yet I haven’t seen you post any of the youtube video’s floating around of the Aust.Day “Mullalloo Riot” or “Cott Girls Gone Wild”… ?
Mostly because I usually prefer original stuff, Paul, however there is a youtube link found by James coming up soon that is better than those.
This movie, currently being shot on campus at UWA, looks like a worthy successor to the Panther films. Is it possible to nominate a ‘worst of future Perth’?
Heh looks like Crush went straight to video: http://stalepopcornau.blogspot.com/2009/10/review-crush.html
Don’t know if its been suggested, really don’t care either, but why not start a section or sister site called “best of perth”.
Also, many people suggest Perth is akin to Los Angele 40 years ago, minus the guns.
For the antithesis to the viewpoint on sprawled cities and bad planning, check out this post; http://bldgblog.blogspot.com/2007/10/greater-los-angeles.html
A rather optimistic view of LA. Every time you read “Los Angeles”, replace it with Perth. It’s scary how familiar it sounds.
My point is, if you complain about Perth not being enough like Melbourne, f*&k off and live in Melbourne. If you want European planning models to enrich the urban fabric, go and live in Europe.
Perth is great, warts and all.
Good blog though, I added it to my reader.
I do have my rather good photos of perth via flickr on the sidebar, but 1000 to 1 prefer to see bad. That’s people. There is also another blogger linked with best of Perth architecture on there too. A best of Perth blog would have cobwebs, the occasional sound of a dog barking in the distance and no hits. Talking worst gets people in, but there is much discussion on why people do like some of the things posted there.
Best of Perth?
Oh Lordy, it would read like some sort of chip-on-the-shoulder weekend supplement to the local newspaper.
I have been trying to find a terrific feature article in Perth from *Wallpaper magazine in London. It highlighted Perth’s good points, i.e quality of life and climate, whilst making fun of how quiet and timid the place is.
it had a brilliant photo of a woman holding a baby standing proudly on her new housing block by a “Sold” sign, but all you could see was a rectangle of sand bounded by a super six fence.
the only quotes I can recall were:
“like the Swan River, Perth is very clean but also rather shallow”
“why have a revolving restaurant on top of one of the tallest buildings, when all you can see is 50,000 bungalows in every direction?”
I think DJ is missing the point.
I don’t doubt that nearly all of the contributors to this blog love Perth and would not want to live anywhere else. If they did not love it, no doubt they would have indeed bugg*red off and lived somewhere else. Plenty of contributors have lived elsewhere, and are hoping to bring the best elements of their experience to benefit Perth.
I think for most of these contibutors here their love of Perth is forever clouded by the distinct possibility that their city is going to be thoughly f*cked up by parochial politicians, dodgy developers, ignorant journalists, opinionated myopic commentators and reactionary NIMBY residents, who conspire to prevent this city from realizing its potential.
The wonderful tasteless cr*ap that graces this site acts as a constant reminder of what can happen without vision, planning and a desire to have this city measured against world standards.
hmm, it seems Sue Walker may walk away from that train wreck known as the WA Liberal Party.
Time for an update to Party Troy;s post.
Is it just me or are there way too many people driving around cars with personalised plates? And some of them are truly shocking – VANILLAICE, 4U2CMEFLY and YAHBABY to name a few. A nice little category I think
There are a few plates in here PGirl under the worst car caregory. This is still the one to go for.
Cheers for your reply. Please elaborate on the world standards though. World standards in planning, density, aesthetic? Please list the world standards and their attributes you’d like to see taken on in Perth.
I don’t believe that anyone of these parochial politicians and Laissez Faire developers you refer to are conspiring at all. I am of the opinion that it is exactly these people that have already brought these “world standards” to this city, only to be interpreted poorly or accepted without question by uneducated planning authorities and the more complacent general public. Did someone say Public space?
We also come from the mentality of the quarter-acre. With that comes Suburbia. Ask any member of the general public if they are willing to give up their backyard, or their quiet, or their 1.5m side boundary setback. I will be the first one to support anything that enlivens the city, and I am also a huge advocate for density. I love it, it is the most environmentally sustainable solution for cities hands down. But the majority don’t.
We’ve had too much space for too long. And to every action (everyone getting their space) come a reaction (the endless decentralised city. the lifeless freeways, the noise restrictions). You can’t have it all, and Perth has chosen. We are democratic aren’t we? If it was to be another way, I’m sure it would.
Perth has taken on an organic nature of its own, an endless abyss of suburban nests spreading north and south for hundreds of kilometres, geographically confined by the ocean and the hills. If you can’t handle this huge landscape made entirely from concrete and quarter-acre lots, interspersed with fuel stops stocked with mrs macs pies and expensive soft drinks you don’t need, then stay away as I don’t think there is any likely hood its going to change without petrol prices trebling. But you can already see a reaction to this, more fuel efficient cars that can still push you all the way out to your nest in the suburbs.
I also have lived in Europe, and America and the people I stayed with would give their right leg to have the open space that we enjoy, and the lifestyle. And the quarter-acre.
Perth is how it is. It could be better. Such as a train to the airport perhaps? Anyway, the more I read this site the more I love it, just as TWOP does.
Look forward to hearing from you Skink. Keep up the posts, this site is fantastic.
An excellent and thoughtful comment DJ. A comment like this every now and then raises TWOP above just slagging off. Don’t do it to often DJ, I have to keep my 80% slagging, 20% thoughtful quota!
Other than making the ” we live in the best of all possible world” logical fallacy what does DJ have to offer ?
Is there something more that should be on offer Bill?
The other week I saw an electric blue Subaru WRX with the plates ‘Oedipus’. My mind truly boggled. I wished i could see the driver.
I did bugger off and live somewhere else for 6 years and it really sucked (Canberra). I visited Sydney and Melbourne a lot to get away from Canberra, and despite being big exciting cities they pretty much sucked too. They’re big, the people are stuck up and bogged down, and they’re too far away from here.
I missed Perth SO much, even and especially the bad things like the not very bright public debate, the hoons, the demolition, the ugly cars and buildings and eavelessness….
I check out this site and ‘Perth’s best architecture’ every day and they both make me look around with new appreciation of it all. (and they cover some of the same things sometimes like Midland Train Station).
gorblimey, where do we start?
yes, Perth has a wonderful lifestyle, climate, standard of living etc, and we all love our quarter acre blocks (if only I had one)
you didn’t read my last posting carefully – we all love Perth and I agree that I’d much rather be here just now than in my old flat in London, but this city has taken its good luck for granted for a long time, and needs vision for the future
but since you want some areas that can be improved, and that Perth does badly, here we go:
1. Planning – I agree with you that Perth needs higher density, or should we say mixed density. The sprawl is becoming too great and the infrastructure does not keep up. Personally I live close to the city so don’t give a sh*t about how far the city sprawls and how long the poor commuters spend trapped on the freeway in their single-occupant SUV’s, but I would like to see more life in the city centre.
Alannah made a great comment last year about Perth people building McMansions on big blocks in the middle of nowhere, then complaining that the roads/schools/services were not good enough. But why are they allowed to build out there? and why are they allowed to build such bloody awful starter castles?
My favourite recent example of the idiocy of Perth planning is that they are finally going to build the Mandurah bypass, and before it is even started they are planning a new town on the route to clog it up with local traffic, which is exactly what happened to he last bypass.
I don’t believe any of the rubbish about ‘organic growth’. Organic growth like an oak tree or like a cancer?
2. quality – there seems to be virtually no planning controls on the quality of new buildings, both public and private. Developers are allowed to build down to a price, rather than build up to a quality. Just look at all those Indonesian-quality condos, ‘warehouse’ developments that are just tilt-up sheds, and the convention centre as examples.
3. yes, a rail link to the airport, and a three-lane road. Last week I got stuck on Gt Eastern Highway trying to get to the airport at 5pm – the airport traffic had a lower priority than the drive-in KFC.
4. the waterfront. endless argument – no good ideas – and every time they do make a change, it is for the worst. they should look at other waterfront cities, study carefully, invest public money, get the best architects, and then leave it just as it is. Do not let developers anywhere near it because we’ll just get another Claisebrook Disneyfication, and it’s not like anone enjoys the ‘riverfront cafe lifestyle’ there, apart from the kids sliding down the hill on cardboard boxes, and a few tossers in Lamonts.
finally – please stop that tiresome “if you don’t like it, move somewhere else”. you sound like some grunter on talkback radio.
We are all allowed to live here and criticize our fair city, just as we are allowed to support the cricket team and yet yell abuse at Punter every time he fails to pick the doosra
Back to suggestion box matters . . .
I don’t know if this has already been suggested or even dealt with, but there is a house in Tuart Hill alongside Wanneroo Road that looks like something out of Bram Stoker. I can’t recall the exact location, but it’s on your left hand side as you drive north along Wanneroo Road–either just before you get to Cape Street, or just after (overlooking Acapulco Annies). The house is massive and has been there for as long as I can remember.
I think I know the one AV. I have slowed the Camry, but haven’t stopped yet. A big square thing? Near the place that should get a mention for worst name, The Mighty Quinn Tavern, formerly something like El-Dorado Tavern, or was it San Miguel? I’ve made you think about Wanneroo Rd all the way from japan?
Yeah–a big square thing. Perhaps its safest not to venture too close: Jack Torrance might spring out at you from behind a column wielding an axe.
Can’t recall an El-Dorado Tavern, though the name rings a bell. GWN used to have its headquarters in an Andalusian-style building in the vicinity.
GWN building still there. I am pretty sure now that it was The San Miguel Tavern.
Just a couple of hundred metres to the east of the narrows bridge on the cycle path heaps of “art” objects in the river.
Perth Frestivus or something.
Hahahahah. This is good.
1. On organic growth, dismissing this is just a little too totalitarian.
In regards to the oak tree and cancer question, whats the difference? If we are talking of a belief in chaotic versus ordered systems here, one remains antipodal to the other, in which case the opinion becomes completely subjective.
Your definition of “bad” planning is becoming opinionated, and opinion tends to rot an argument. Kind of like cancer does.
Who is to say that Perth as a living city isn’t just making a quantum though chaotic leap forward in establishing itself at a geographical level. I’m just putting it out there.
One possible scenario. The bypass is built, then a town on the freeway, then a fuel shortage, what happens then? Maybe the town or towns lose their connection with the CBD, creating a series of new independant nodes that can then develop as their own. Then we get our dense hub in the CBD. Problem solved.
What could be another scenario. A very very extreme scenario… We instigate planning codes that put walls on the north and south of the city. Giant physical walls like on the Gaza strip, or Berlin in ’89. Rash maybe, but suggesting alternate planning codes and stopping the subdivisions facilitating mcmansions has the same effect. We then contain our development, consolidate our public infrastructure and live happily ever after. 2 million people in an area the size of the western suburbs.
There is no solution that is more correct for a city, as all the inhabitants of the city aren’t going to want the same thing. A new town that is going to congest a portion of the freeway sounds ridiculous to some (me included), but to others? Sounds like an opportunity for all those first home buyers. A bandaid solution maybe, but its happened as a reaction from another event. Sounds pretty organic to me.
Have you ever visited Chandigargh? or Brasilia maybe? or Canberra? Planned Cities. I’ve heard they can be quite lifeless. New York was gridded, but as a reaction to congestion in lower manhatten, and to facilitate extremely rapid and volatile growth.
Maybe a better way tackling the plight of dullsville is within the local. Tackle the City of Perth, and not Perth the City. Anyway next point.
2. the fact living in a seriously capitalist defined environment is a bad thing.
and 3. that KFC isn’t as important as the airport.
I’ve learnt to celebrate and adapt to these things. Not highlight them “as a constant reminder of what can happen without vision”.
Shheeett, we are seriously clogging this message board up. No one else can get a word in.
I remember seeing a house about 5 years ago, I’ve been racking my brains trying to think where it is. But the house is bright blue, the outside garden was a gnome brothel and they had big bright mushrooms painted on the front of the house, in short: it was a hippie crack den. I think it was around morley somewhere. anyone seen it before?
could I suggest a new category is added so that DJ and Skink can continue their thesis’ ” Worst of debating class” perhaps
I’m fine with it.
I know that Tuart Hill house. I love that house. And the Mighty Quinn. I don’t know the gnome brothel house but dukes if you remembe the location please do tell us.
I was thinking some more about Perth and WOP. It’ s a bit like you’ve got a boyfriend that you love passionately because of his innate qualities and you’re just wildly attached to him and you’d never be with anyone else; but his grooming is a bit misplaced and you think he could have better dress sense. You are exasperated because he is so great, but if he’d just trim the nose hair and throw out that grey jumper (and the giant yellow sunglasses) he would be perfect….
Yet at some level, you wouldn’t change a thing.
Leave the nose hair. It might get long enough to be a creditable moustache one day.
A walk down memory lane – Fat Cat through the Ages :-)
Bit of Trivia, according to a former relative who was a baby penquin during one of the Miss West Coast telecasts, it seems Percy was rather fond of his booze, and apparently performed drunk and threw up in the Penquin suit.
And in the 80′s Fat Cat & Percy’s “best friend” was none otyher than Todd McKenney. (PS, Fat Cat’s usual “friend” was TVW 7 floor manager, Reg Whiteman.
I tried finding a coherent argument in your last post, or even something entertaining, but you’ve lost me. i was going to write a reply about Foster’s theories of analogue, digital and nodal cities, but I started boring myself.
I should know better than to get into these arguments on blogs, it ends like trying to avoid those people in bus shelters that mutter to themselves.
The field is yours. feel free to have the last word.
You know what they say about arguing over the internet:
It’s like the special olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.
The internet what’s that ? Meanwhile don’t forget Waitangi day ( today) celebrations at the Ling (Sat).
The arguing was reasonably on topic and reasonably restrained. I think it’s fine.
remember the adage:
never argue with an idiot – they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience
Difficult job being a pollie then.
Thanks Lazy Aussie. I also thought it was reasonably on topic and reasonably restrained, from both sides.
Skink, pity you had to slip to the level of a pre-schooler and start name-calling.
I’ll be here to stay, and avid contributor from now on!
LA, moustaches are even worse than nose hair.
Yes ad hominem (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies) is not a valid argument tho it would help DJ if you didn’t write in artese.
DJ – actually, the reference to an idiot was to myself, but if you do not wish to take the last word and want to continue the debate here – I am happy to oblige.
Your argument that unplanned growth will somehow result in market forces determining the optimum city is entirely fallaceous. Your quip about a walled city was irrelevant – I was talking about mixed density.
I will take your Chandigargh and Brasilia (which were not cities but administrative campuses) and Canberra and Griffith if you like, and raise you a Jakarta, Mumbai, Lagos and Sao Paulo. One wonders if their residents like to “celebrate and adapt” Is it your proposal that we all just sit back and let the city take nature’s course?
it is always informative to look at Wren’s grand plan for London after the fire, which was rejected, and the current London streetscape which retains its medeival street plan. London could have been like Hausmann’s Paris, but two centuries earlier. Wren was knocked back by recalcitrant naysayers who espoused similar arguments to yours, arguments that look myopic now. During Hausmann’s remodelling they took to the streets and rioted, now the Nimbies just stay home and carp anonymously on a blog.
and thanks for the Latin lesson Bill,
are you still sore about the kitsch sculptures?
We might have a few minor disagreements Skink but we all know Perth needs fixing up.
we agree on that. this blog does not look at the city through DJ’s rose-tinted “Postcards WA” glasses
C’mon DJ where is the comeback? I’m enjoying this discussion so don’t deprive me now
great discussion guys – just a bit too light on adult concepts and coarse language as specified in the policy.
Go on say nodal again I dare you.
What gets me is that when any ‘administer’ talks about getting life into the city, it seems to start and finish on how to open more cafes/bars/restaurants – it isn’t true; build them and they will come, ha! Guys, there is only so much coffee I can drink. If you want me in there give me something to do. Lets see, the bowling alley- closed, Subi markets-closed, Lords – due to close, movie theatres – Subi and city closed, swim in the river -yeah right like I am mad; any diving platform or water plaything for the kids- Mandura even has some – nah. A fountain perhaps , ACT. Is there an open air roller skating rink a la Central Park -free- near the mall; its banned. Or pools like Brisbane river front? The bell tower = eiffel tower, I dont think so. Any ancient ruins to wander around? A truly artists /growers market like Melbournes’ South bank? No made-in-china stuff allowed – if you dont make it or grow it you cant sell it. There is a market almost like that up in the Hills and it gets loads of people. Or Darwin’s night market is a tad popular with the locals and tourists. How often does the sound shell have a local band playing the afternoon away sponsored by PCC? A bungy jump from between buildings along Hay St or abseil down QV11- try getting permission for that! Which building has an observation deck ? (No more giant Ferris wheels please) .Where are a couple of Bocce rinks located?
The best plans allow for a bit of chaos.
It’s called life.
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Worst of Perth References
In the movie “Kill Bill vol. 2″ when this transcript takes place:
Tommy – Did you come straight from Australia?
Bill – Of course.
Beatrix – Daddy, I told Tommy that you were
in Perth mining for silver and… …no one could reach you.
How about a post on the new Sports Stadium at Kitchener Park ? I see the NIMBY whingers have already started over on Perth Now, probably only because of those evil socialists in the ALP sre building it :-).
If Boozewell said a future Lioberal Govt would build it, there would be cheers from the rooftops.
Worst of Perth References]
Neighbours or any Aussie Soap, where cast members who are not killed off tend to move to, and are then not heard of or mentioned ever again.
How about a special ‘The worst of East Perth’ section. The clashing architecture, the ugly colours… I swear that suburb is going to be an inner city slum of the future!
Yeah, It’s like the black hole of the earth where people go to disappear
It seems Patti Chong may join Party Troy’s Dream Team in parliament.
I hope the ALP run those pics of her with her Shave For A Cure hairstyle ? :-)
And talk about being a sore loser when losing the contract for providing security on the Busses.
Mr Ryan has become like his hero and has “left the building” :-)
Everyone who has a blog has the tedious task of deleting spam. Normally it is fairly boring. However this one was almost made for worst of Perth. Quote
A Look at Shower Curtain Rods
Shower curtain rods give you a unique opportunity to showcase your sense of style. There are many different styles of shower curtain rods available.
Yup, LA. It’s like the Oh! so common confusion between “life style” and the expensive trash promoted by glossy homestyle publications and fancy catalogues. (Good grief; I could go on at some length on that topic.)
Thankfully there seems to be a reasonable smattering of genuine non-conformists (eccentrics?)in our society to compensate a little for the bovine/ovine/lemming-like behaviour of the mind-free masses who know the price of almost everything and the value of virtually nothing.
I know this is not strictly worst of Perth but more worst of Australia but does anyone think the new ABC logo and branding leave a little to be desired?
The ABC 1 logo is one thing but the red white and blue branding on the TV promos makes me feel fiercely and patriotically… French!
Great moments in Perth journalism:
I know the Sunday Slimes is only the 2nd worst newspaper, but there was a feature worthy of the worst in yesterday’s, on the Indian industrialist who’s building the new Taj Mahal for his family in Peppermint Grove.
Revelations include: The wife is beautiful! They are extremely, disgustingly rich! He works like a maniac! They have a maid! They feel like fish out of water coming from New Delhi to Perth (no shit sherlock!).
FC, I had some professional dealings with a certain former Transperth security provider. Frankly I found it terrifying that our policing is gradually being subcontracted to some of these companies. The guy’s office was particularly telling and would make an excellent WOP entry in its own right (think El Paso Sherrif’s office, complete with bars and batwing doors). I’d rather have the bikies doing security.
And flynn, where and when is this Hills market of which you speak? Is it the one in Kalamunda? If so, I must take another look.
199, and it seems his “Fan Club” has hit the forums defending the firm in question.
TIB Yes the Kalamunda one -the last time I went the market was on a Saturday but I think it is only one Sat per month – 1st? I scored locally grown stuff and some of the art-work could only have been home- made :) Along with some good stuff too.
Has anyone suggested that phalic thing in the water at Cottesloe Beach? It has some dubious heritage significance, but it looks like scrap iron to me. I’m sure you could find an photo angle to make it look even more hideous.
Bit of a side topic, but still interesting I think. I went to a presentation on Monday held by Dr Enrique Penalosa who was the mayor of Bogota in Colombia. Anyway, the talk was about designing cities for people. He talked about how strategies were adopted to encourage class equality and increase interaction between people. e.g. waterfronts aren’t privatised, building ‘pedestrian highways’ where no cars are allowed – only bikes and walkers, having completely ‘car free’ days, choosing to invest public funds into public transport rather than extending highways, mixing housing density, and making enjoyable public spaces for people to meet in like parks, concert halls, libraries etc. It got me thinking a lot about Perth and it struck me that here is a city that is primarily designed for cars first, and THEN people. Just think of how much more we could gain if we actually walked around and saw other people as opposed to being shut up in our houses, offices and cars. Incidentally, after these policies were introduced in Bogota, the murder rate decreased from 81 in every 100,000 people to 16 in every 100,000 people!
On that topic, the foreshore redevelopment plan is to be released today. It says a lot about Perth that no-one has any confidence that it will be good. Perhaps we will be surprised?
One can only hope! I think the lack of confidence comes more from a disbelief that the plans will actually translate into actions rather than the validity of the plans themselves, since there have been numerous ‘plans’ over the past few decades. Or it might be a seasoned cynicism that even if the plans are carried out, they’ll be watered down to be more ‘cost effective’ (e.g. bell tower, convention centre)
After today’s performance, can you PLEASE do a post on Wilson “I Hate Boongs, and will shout it from the rooftops rtill the day I die” Tuckey ?
I agree – a national disgrace. I wish he would just take his iron bar and go home.
The real worry is that he keeps getting re-elected!
I agree with Rolly – if only he could be discounted as a crackpot fascist, but clearly there are enough people out there who share this disgraceful point of view to keep him in parliament!
I jumped on expecting to see the foreshore picture. MAN it’s ugly and tacky. Swan Island! Great skyscrapers! Curly bridgey thing! It’s really almost so bad it’s good. It makes Darling Harbour look tasteful.
The new Ikea.
in case it hasn’t already been discussed, someone needs to check out and take a few pictures of the house on the corner of tweedale and forbes st in applecross.
words can’t describe it really.
Rachel, someone’s already onto it and have sent me pics. Expect it in a few days.
i live just around the corner from it. i have never ever understood it. someone just looooves angles and disjointed …stuff, i guess.
It seems The Sunday Crimes has declard that Govo is WA’s worst school.
All the Ent Cent talk reminds me of the late 70′s and rollerskating at Rollaways just around the corner in the block of Murray St just before the freeway.
Does anyone remember it?? It was in an old single storey garage which I think might still be there. The floor was plain concrete, with chips and fragments all over it, cigarette butts everywhere, and it didn’t even have an enclosed rink or a hand railing around the side, and there was almost no lighting except a mirror ball so you were always tripping over hapless fallen skaters. The hire skates were terrible with no laces and usually one wheel that didn’t turn at all.
The saturday afternoon session totally went off, I think it went from 2-4 and if you didn’t start lining up at 12 you couldn’t get in. Then you would wait at least an hour for a bus home because it was Saturday afternoon in Perth.
It was kind of like preparation for night clubbing – all the individual elements should’ve added up to a miserable godawful experience, but instead it was completely exciting and transcendant. Maybe it was the headspin from smoking Winny Greens, or the repeated concussions.
Love the trip!
lisa, i’m with you on this one, I remember that you really had to know how to skate to get across that concrete floor and obviously I did a very good job in my strap-on orange and yellow skates. I think it also may have been my first sighting of a disco ball in the flesh (so to speak).
Now can anyone remember “having an eyeball at No3″ in the city?
Yes, the floor had lots of lumps in it. I had white boot skates with pink poly wheels and glitter laces … sigh… Still fell over all the time though.
Funworld on the corner of Milligan and Murray was fantastic too, but that was more of a proper place with funky lighting and a sound system, and a handrail and carpets and such. Maybe like Eagle 1 as opposed to… I dunno… Tarantellas…
But no, what is having an eyeball at No3… ?
That was CB’er talk (as in Citizen Band radio) for a meeting at the No 3 carpark in Perth – the carpark is now a small unpleasant housing estate, next to a hotel whose name escapes me.
Belmont Park racecourse! This lovely structure with its leaky roof (great for a winter racing venue) and its bad case of concrete cancer and ugly interior paintjob is a definite candidate. The desperate attempt to beautity the main entrance with a cheesy cheap fountain and a few potplants is laughable and only exceeded in its ugliness by the big potholes and the rust-stained utility shed that abuts the secondary entrance. It may be difficult to get a photo until the 1st weekend in May though, because they don’t start racing back there until then.
[It may be difficult to get a photo until the 1st weekend in May though, because they don’t start racing back there until then.]
But if Lazy Aussie goes there when Trackwork is on he may get an elusive shot of Brian Burke, as Bob Maumill trains a couple of his horses :-)
I would expect it to have a worthy carpet. Yes?
ooh a shot of Burkie – now that would be a coup for TWOP! a shot of Burkie at the track – pure gold! everyone seems to think he holds the reins of power in WA – not so, it’s actually the panama hat that is the puppet master. Burkie is simply the hat’s conflated means of conveyance.
And Bob Maumill introduced Brian Burke to Laurie Connell.
…..and look what became of poor not-so-old Laurie :(
Anybody seen the new sculpture of Bon Scott by chance. I think they were going to open it up for public viewing over weekend. Its by an early art teacher of mine- greg james. Easily the best of em too I might add. Art teachers that is. Neither arrogant nor uninvolved like so many others [because he was not entrenched within the system I suppose at the time]. And a brilliant technician esp when it came to bronze foundry work which I absolutely hated. SOooo much casting and grinding and frigin around. Had him in 1979-80 after had fallen out with most of the other teachers at claremont art college.
Have seen a few of gregs public commissions around and generally he’s very good as public type sculptor. And thats saying lot considering I been obssessed with the human form since knee high to a twig and can be very critical of other artists that attempt such things as the human figure [probably why the claremont stuff happened].
Anyway hope he managed to capture Bon Scott’s sly toothy grin in way that does the man justice.
[Anybody seen the new sculpture of Bon Scott by chance]
See Ent Centre thread for a link to the Perth Now article with happy snaps of the event.
No mention of Perth’s reputation for having some of the worst drivers on the road. Failing to keep left, cutting corners, indicating after the fact. Stop signs?! They’re for pussies!!!
A “merge”? Christ, I better race that guy next to me and cut him off before her gets in front… where’s my horn? BRAKE! BRAKE!
Mostly cold concrete flooring with peeling paint downstairs, apart from a chunk of burgundy carpet laid off to one side of the bookies ring. Some terrible carpet upstairs in the members area from memory…
Oh, and although this will probably place you at risk of mob attack/ yet more google searches for ‘hot naked brothel naked nude boob naked nudes’ (oops), what about Bikini Girls? I got a flyer on my car this friday as I was parked outside of Clancy’s. Hilarious, disturbing and hilariously disturbing. I’ll have to scan the flyer for you, but the business itself deserves it’s own post, I think.
I have photographed the establishment, but have not posted it. Perhaps I won’t.
Talk about ‘fusion food’. I saw a display recently with ‘fusion’ cultural events featuring rats, kangaroos and koalas all ‘hung’ up like a Chinese BBQ meat display. Would have made a great photo! Alas display has been taken down.
Last Friday’s Fin Review magazine had a feature entitled “the Good, the Bad and the ugly” about “brash new millionaires” in the “Wild, Mild West”
it has a great photo of Luke Saraceni outside his McMansion leaning on his Ferrari. It deserves a posting on your site under ‘worst humanity”, but I’m not sure it conforms with your rules about original content, and slagging off litigious rich folk.
Everytime I read this blog, it makes me want to start one just like it, but featuring Adelaide’s landmarks. Awesome work, LA.
Ok Cimbali, I give up,
failing eyesight is my excuse – so what is the avatar? At least it isn’t as scary as TT’s – now that does qualify as the worst.
BCF’s is a good clear image which imparts some knowledge or understanding – the guys a pot head?
you could call your blog “The Cliched in Adelaide”
I assume it’s a Cimbali coffe machine
Ouch Flynn, a tad unfair! Degrees in design, media and nearly 20 yrs in animation, design and special effects, work screened nationally and internationally, considerable sustainable design background and yes – left field, but sorry not a pothead!!
[I assume it’s a Cimbali coffee machine]
That is indeed correct :-)
I note that the Troy of Boozewell has suffered another case of Foot in mouth regarding his claims of the Fiona Stanley hospital having no obstetrics dept, when in fact that the Minister told the parliament 10 months earlier that said obstetrics dept had been delayed and will included in stage two of the hospital.
Flynn, go here
Even a cracked pot can add their picture easily apparently.
I think it means crack head, not pot head.
Should’ve been Bedfords Hatstand Asylum! I must have more wine, I demand more wine!
LA @ 232 – Do you refer to the Bikini Girls on William Street? If so, you’re going to have to post it under ‘Vanished Worst’ – as far as I can tell, the establishment was in business for less than a month.
Really!!?? I took the pic when I visited (I mean photographed) the ex Asian Brothel at Jaded House. Gone already?
Bento, you have a gravatar! It takes a little while to filter through apparently. Seriously, is Bikini girls gone? Who was it had a flyer for them? If they are out of business, I will post the shot and the flyer if someone has it.
BCF, I like yours, succinct and legible – who says modern educashun is useless.
The one on Canning Highway near Canning Bridge is still there, next to one of the most unattractive tattoo parlours around (and that’s saying something!)
LA, are you a North of the River person or a Southie?
Do I look like a banjo strumming albino? North of course!
LA: I had the poster/ flyer. Or I have it. Somewhere.
Anyway, if the incredibly well written flyer is anything to go by, they’re not disappearing. They’ve got plans for one in Kal and one in Darwin, I think. Also, there’s still one on Canning Bridge, one in Freo. Both on prime real estate.
Has anyone suggested Futuro, the spaceship on the corner of Leach Hway and Karel Ave? It may be gone, but it lives on in my memory. I have such vivid memories of always wanting to go play on it, and then being so disappointed at just how lame it was once there. Nonetheless, next time my Mum drove past I would feel that urge to play on it rising again…
Wasn’t the place called Nurdi Park? Those buildings are much sought after and ultra expensive these days. I saw one in NZ recently. They were charging $2 to go in.
Here’s one of the many sites dedicated to them.
Sorry LA – took me a while to get back to this thread…
As far as I can tell, the one on William Street is no longer operating. It’s certainly no longer advertising its wares by way of a garishly painted frontage, anyway.
While you were out that way, did you happen to get a pic of the weird tinfoil cladding on the upper level of Dashije (almost directly opposite, I think)? What’s the deal with that?
Ye Gods! A house of ill repute, so close to pizza parlours attracting families! Please, won’t somebody think of the children?!
While you’re at it, the Salvation Army ‘Perth Fortress’ isn’t the most inviting structure I’ve clapped eyes on.
The fortress was great as a video studio. As a religious crackpot fortress, ridiculous. Wasn’t Hung Long cafe near there?
[The fortress was great as a video studio. ]
I believe that several sex scenes involving Noni Hazelhurst in “Fran” were shot there as well as several episodes of that really tacky Kids Religious Show from the 80′s “Sing Me A Rainbow”. One of the segments featured Kit Bergin & “Cookie”.
I wonder if they are still around, or they have gone to the great TV Studio upstairs ?
Isn’t this very TWOPish?
Nah. He’s a Pom.
Just got a link on the ultra cool Things Magazine.
We need a post of Dodgy Cyclone Names as I just heard of the latest one – Cyclone Pancho.
Aw man! How come Perth’s Futuro house didn’t have an alien riding a flamingo outside of it??
$2 is a lot of money to pay considering there was nothing inside except some dust a couple of empty Masters Choc milk cartons (which, of course, were in the spaceship, waiting to be delivered to Hillary’s Boat Harbour for the Milk Carton Regatta, highlight of the Perth festival calendar).
Speaking of the Regatta, I hear from fellow Perthians that it is being cancelled. Please tell me it’s not true. There is nothing funnier than a bunch of scouts and youth groups crashing milk carton vehicles into the greasy, polluted, algae-ridden waters of Hillary’s. A golden day out for all.
[Speaking of the Regatta, I hear from fellow Perthians that it is being cancelled. Please tell me it’s not true. There is nothing funnier than a bunch of scouts and youth groups crashing milk carton vehicles into the greasy, polluted, algae-ridden waters of Hillary’s. A golden day out for all.]
Along with such cultural icons as the Ch 7 Bathtub Derby, the Ampol Hole In One Day and the Ch 7 Birdman Rally at Yanchep
Some Gems from CH 7 circa the 80′s
I note that the Love You Perth video features Honorary TWOP member Ron Gomboc and features a departed Worst – Pioneer World.
Ah Pioneer World. I remember it well.
But who would a thought that a replica of Anne Hathaway’s cottage would not turn a dollar? Incredible!
Now I know that Our Airport could rate an entire web-site as to its worst features, but surely its name is a TWOP contender.
Consider: Charles De Gaulle, Tullamarine, JFK, Heathrow, Kingsfordsmith,O’Hare,Da Vinci, and we have Perth Domestic and Perth International Terminal (the PITs literally). Talk about inspiringly dull.
How about a contest for a better name! WAC can’t seem to fix any of the parking (cars, taxis and planes) problems, so lets get a superficial feelgood change they might manage.
The possibilities – Burke? Court, Snr or Jnr ( one for each terminal)? M Ward? G Hoey?….. Twop?
How about the Ben Cousins Airport – geddit, Flying High :-)
I actually like Hoey International best.
[I actually like Hoey International best.]
With an Art Installation featuring Sheila McHale and a Single White Lesbian :-)
the new transperth ticketing system…… nuff said.
Carps reckons the Domestic Airport is an embarrassment. :-)
Time for some happy snaps :-)
Carps wouldn’t know an embarrassment from Julian Grill’s arse. However he is right this time.
hey , this is getting spooky. I ranted about the city development, next day, out comes the foreshore dream. I talk about the airport and Carps declares it an embarrassment. Is he reading TWOP and my posts? Or is it just a coincidence????
It would be hard to believe that his people are not keeping up with TWOP. I know they love The West stuff.
The airport was fantastic in the 70′s. There was only 1, I think it was where the International is now?
It had an open air bar on the roof and it had a little garden outside the terminal, on the runway side, with a pond and black swans and a ‘welcome to perth’ sign.
It was just so cute and small-town.
So, Carps- why the photo of you with the giant plush dolphin mascot at the opening of Dolphin Quay in Mandurah?
Le cringe, my friend. Le cringe.
Under worst Perthonalities, I nominate Rove McManus. He annoys the s$%t out of me with his puerile humour.
whatever happened to the kangaroos at the airport?
did someone cull them? (touchy subject)
nothing quite says ‘welcome to australia’ as well as a small paddock full of surly flearidden marsupials behind a chainlink fence
Except a paddock full of culled national symbols.
I have some public art from around Cockburn that I’m dying to take some pictures of. Doesn’t get quite the exposure that the train station mugshots do, but it’s pretty much just as awful. One is a ‘YOUTH R KOOL OK?’ anti-graffiti mural under a railway bridge.
Another is… fuck, I don’t exactly know, I’ve only seen it driving past (it’s located at a round-about intersection of 4 major roads, pretty much the worst place for any art to be)… It appears to be 3 dogs heads cast in bronze, decapitated and elevated on limestone pedestals. I have no idea what it’s supposed to mean. ‘Beware, bikies’ perhaps?
James – (47) – I know the house on Wanneroo Road well – with the dead tree painted red in the front yard.
My kids and I used to pass it every day and call it “Mr Whacko’s house”. We guessed that he was a veteran who’d gone off the rails and had surrounded himself with a make-shift Faraday cage as protection from the radiowaves…..
This has got to feature as The Worst of Perth:
A half sized replica of the London Eye. I’m pro development on the foreshore, but what is next, a half sized Stature of Liberty on Heirisson Island?
I read that it is only temporary, but I am sure we could be more creative.
I might feature this on the next weekend worstoff. A double sized. Now that would be talking.
and what might you see from the top of this Not So Big Wheel?
50,000 bungalows in every direction
you’d get a better view from Mount Eliza
[and what might you see from the top of this Not So Big Wheel?]
Lots of targets for bored yoof to throw things at :-)
Just re-read my #186 where I specifically stated, No more giant Ferris Wheels please. Melbourne’s one isn’t even up and running yet and we are copying their copy.
totally agree with your comment 186 – you can’t plan for life and culture, it grows where people congregate. Perth has some great facilities (our kids love the pirate ship at Bluewater, and you should try the pontoons at Matilda Bay if you want a swim), but they still don’t attract the crowds. If they do attract the crowds, like the kids centre in Leederville, then the locals complain about the noise and it gets shut down. Bars open in King Street, only to be shut down because they disturb residents in the loft apartments upstairs – apartments marketed as ‘living the King Street lifestyle’
Perth is sleepy because folk like it that way. It may change when the population tops two million
What he said.
Spare me the “…madding crowd.”
Skunk to a certain extent what you say is true ; but Dublin is a more vivacious city than Perth with less population; you also have to take into account Perth’s isolation. The biggest factor in Perth’s dullness (IMHO) is its sub urbanity.
Another thing shit awful politicians.
She-Ra wants the giant Ferris wheel , because the foreshore “is underutilized space”. Carps agrees basically because taste comes out his arse.
Perth must stop comparing itself to European cities – they have greater population density and more effective public transport systems developed before universal car ownership. better to compare Perth to Albuquerque – nodal suburbs linked by freeways and a CBD that is vacant at night
I agree that suburbanization is the problem – but it’s what people want. They might say they want to live in cutesy village comunities, but they want a double garage, and freeway access to work, and a 24 hour supermarket within a five minute drive. It doesn’t matter what crap they put on the foreshore, at 5pm the whole city will still be on the freeway heading home for a few tinnies( or chardies) in the back yard. Not many folk in Dublin have a back yard, and the weather is not suited to the barbie. Best stay huddled inside the pub near the fire with a warm stout.
Got it in one, Skink.
Hate to go back – but i just found this site…
Greg (post 58) – go find the McCubbins in the art gqllery, then go see year 12 perspectives…
love that joint!
Some of the year 12′s were quite good this year.
Lannie McT takes a swipe at the airport.
The devil is in the detail with those Airport bastards however.
Hate to take the place of Greg – but -
do you really think that it is the function of the State Gallery to have an annual exhibition of high school art students?
I’m not sure if even Fred McCubbin got a gig at the NGV until he actually proved himself as an artist worth exhibiting.
re the Airport:
are we all voting the West’s poll to suggest a name for the new airport? They have suggested Rolf Harris or Heath Ledger International Airport (no, really)
The published plans show a small building for local air traffic which is annotated “Terminal WA”, which I think is an excellent name for the airport as a whole, as in ‘terminal illness’
I just voted for L.A. International Airport
295 I agree with greg, if that’s what he would say. But just in case he wouldn’t say it, and he probably wouldn’t if one of us agreed with it, because remember we’re a bunch of elitist arts conspiracists from middle class backgrounds, I agree with you mez
296 I don’t believe you. Aren’t there any WA aviators it could be unimaginatively named after? or war heroes or something?
don’t believe me?
Oh ye of little faith:
Vote Now for Pam Casellas International Airport!
Are we any closer to a “Worst Pollies bad hair day” – I know Allanah “mad as a cut bivawacker” leads the charge and would win hands down but where are we on this – I saw a cut the other day on Allanah that seriously looked like someone moved the bowl halfway through the fringe!!
Yes! I have been meaning to nominate McT as ‘worst haircut’, but was unable to find a photo of her cut ‘do’
I know we shouldn’t judge women pollies on their appearance, but right now she looks like she escaped from an institution
does she cut it herself? in the dark? with a hedge trimmer?
I say with a do like that its just “Open Season” – is up there with bad topiary and Howards eyebrows!
I’m all for the annual high school students’ exhibition. It gives everyone a chance to realise just how naive and self obsessed they were when they were 18.
Seriously though, I’m in favour, provided that the selection process is such that what we, the public, see is genuinely the best on offer.
Year 12 Perspectives is consistently the best attended free show at the Gallery (all those proud mums and dads and aunties). it is therefore a bit churlish to bitch about its artistic merits if it brings people to the gallery who might not otherwise darken its doors.
And school children wouldn’t have had the chance to be quoted at length by Paul Murray.
excuse me but I feel I must churl. I have always seen the Art Gallery of WA as a place that the public should be seeking the best art that they can access in WA. It should be a flagship for the state’s cultural life and give artists (and I do mean all artists including Yr12) something to aspire to. Giving Mum Dad ‘n the kids a good day out is more the territory of Adventure World.
The Year 12 Perspectives should be held at PICA whose brief is to explore new territory.
If I was really at my most churlish I would suggest that an exhibition which is a “..celebration of the talents and creativity…” would be more at home in a community hall
nice aspirations, but to all effects AGWA is a community hall, with a McCubbin, one rather nice Ben Nicholson, and a piss poor budget. if they don’t get the numbers through the door, they don’t get the funding
Nomination for worst architectural nightmare:
LSD + Crayola = Perth Arena
The kiddywinks have used up all the paper.
Come on Perth: There’s got to be someone in the decision making bureaucracy with a *bit* of aesthetic discernment.
That plan’s a visual nightmare.
But it *does* make a statement: One that I would consider best left unsaid.
@Mez: PICA probably is a better venue for perspectives. (Do they even have the facility for it?) However, it is also international (Japanese students on display here, our students on display in Japan), so I guess there is some merit. As for the selection criteria, well, christ only knows.
I was one of those self involved art students, and I remember being particularly horrified at the choice of the textile pieces on show for my year.
At least it’s an exhibition that gets the public wandering through the doors of the art gallery. It’s either that, or bits of old egyptians. Nothing else seems to get through to the public.
The Norman Lindsay exhibition seemed to be quite well attended. But not, I admit, quite as well as the sausage machine that was the Egyptian show.
Nothing against the work that you had exhibited in Perspectives Rage but I still do not see the State gallery as the venue for high school student art, international or otherwise. When I go to State galleries in Melbourne or Sydney I expect to see what curators are regarding as the best quality worth showing to the public and of artists with careers of substance or extraordinary skills. Our gallery seems a grab bag of unconnected curatorial decisions without any real regard for anything aspirational.
Feeding the public what they want seems to be a uniquely Perth problem and a symptom of bad management at AGWA.
I guess the reason I’m concerned is that, with all this temporary boom money flying about, without some sort of inspired changes at the gallery we will have missed the chance at proving that WA is not a cultural backwater.
I honestly think that AGWA could be a flagship for our boom times. With the current program it is very far behind the times.
but I did love the Lindsay show
I agree, but it requires cash funding from the State Gov,, and since anything remotely edgy gets a “we can’t believe they gave public money for this” response from the West and that terminal boor Ron Banks, then there is little political mileage in it. AGWA does run some good shows with contemporary artists, but needs doorbusters like the Russian and the Eqyptian to cover them. the Indian show was brilliant, but nobody went to see it.
year 12 is only one of three shows currently on. They went to special trouble putting it in one of the downstairs galleries with plenty of headroom, so you could get in on your high horse
Hoey – here’s your chance
PICA are “on the hunt” for artists for their residence program
perhaps with TWOP’s support and vigorous lobbying you can smash the YWL hegemony
[agree, but it requires cash funding from the State Gov,, and since anything remotely edgy gets a “we can’t believe they gave public money for this” response from the West and that terminal boor Ron Banks, then there is little political mileage in it.]
Can anyone say Robert Mapplethorpe ? That was the last major “edgy” exhibition at the AGWA and The West went into overdrive, and ironically I think it was at the time when Peter Foss was Arts Minister – hardly a raving leftie.
My under 4 quite liked the schoolies pics but was very unimpressed that the WA Art Gallery cafe didn’t have chips. If he knew the word cockamamie, he would have used it.
[My under 4 quite liked the schoolies pics but was very unimpressed that the WA Art Gallery cafe didn’t have chips. If he knew the word cockamamie, he would have used it.]
If you would’ve gone 100 metres or so to the Trackside Bakery, your son’s potato fix would’ve been satisfied :-)
But yeah, el trendy cafes would be very wise to cater for the under 5′s whose sole diet is hot chips.
Some of that boom money could be spent like this…
an excellent idea Big T
I have thought recently that a Guggenheim Australia based on the West coast would not be a bad idea either
re 316. Also took the boy to PICA after the big gallery where he was shocked to see videos of toys being destroyed.
that should go a long way in dissuading him in taking up a career in the arts LA… which he will thank you for in the long run
As long as he’s not a journo either.
#319 “But yeah, el trendy cafes would be very wise to cater for the under 5’s whose sole diet is hot chips.”
Yes Frank but then the ultra trendy cafes would be full of under fives, and who really wants that? Not even their parents I expect!
(All due respect to L Aussie junior)
“I guess the reason I’m concerned is that, with all this temporary boom money flying about, without some sort of inspired changes at the gallery we will have missed the chance at proving that WA is not a cultural backwater.”
This does, of course, presuppose that Perth is not a cultural backwater. Whilst I, for one, would very much like this to be the case, I remain unconvinced.
In view of the great quantity of utter rubbish that gets categorised as culture and the narrow perspectives of so many who presume to adjudicate on the subject of what is or is not “culture”, Perth society is possibly best served by being well out of the mainstream.
Snobbery Rules. OK.
I’d thought the ad had left our TV screens, but I caught it late last night. The awfulness just came flooding back.
I’ve been searching in vain for the video on the net, but alas haven’t found it yet.
The ad I’m talking about? I’ll let the jingle do the explaining:
On our way to,
All the Subarus.
Come on down! You’ll
Get a great deal too!
When you come to
Mez: Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t actually exhibited (nor should I have been, trust me). I was just suitably outraged, as any good 17 year old should be, at their choice of textile work when I knew the work of some of my classmates was approximately one million times better. I do agree that it is not international standard and should be exhibited somewhere like PICA. But WAAG is disjointed and terrible anyway. And so empty when there’s nothing impressionist or artifact-y around.
Dreadful it is.
More dreadful is that a couple of goodlooking shiela’s and a male muso were so desperate for cash that they took this gig.
Even more dreadful is the thought that some idiot was prepared to pay to put this to air.
However the sheer awefulness of it does fix the name of the car sales mob firmly in the mind.
Horror does strange things to the memory.
didn’t we decide that ” I wanna, I wanna, I Wanneroo Mazda” was even more grating than City Subaru? just thinking about it makes me want to go postal
Apparently the City Subaru chick used to date one of the Eagles and gave Idol a crack, too (but failed).
As a writer, I truly cannot imagine penning the lyrics to that song without reaching for a bottle of booze and a straight razor afterwards. It’s soul crushing, the song-writing equivalent of producing wedding videos.
They ran me out of town. I’m Nick the devilish dealer from Phoenix Holden Wannerroo.
There was also Annie OK from Wild west Hyundai.
“I want your business, and I’m prepared to pay for it.”
“Just over the Causeway in Shepparton Road, Victoria Park.”
and my fave:
“You’re bang at the centre of a great Ford deal!”
But, Big Rock Toyota are cheaper (cue drums).
But the prize goes to the late “Naughty” Don Rogers, doing Troy Buswell before it was fashionable with his ditty “I’m going Mad With Money”.
[But, Big Rock Toyota are cheaper (cue drums).]
But who remembers their Jingle which had terrible words sung to Running Bear.
And their rock isn’t that fucken big either. more like modest rock Toyota.
[They ran me out of town. I’m Nick the devilish dealer from Phoenix Holden Wannerroo.
There was also Annie OK from Wild west Hyundai.]
And there was Phil Backshall, He;s the part of the time, with ads voice by Cousin Trevor, aka Gary Shannon :-)
“he’s a part of the town”, Frank.
what was the one where a woman was cooing over Brian Gardner?
“Trevor Hancock, you’re a softie” – did that guy sell cars?
I’m amazed a marketing department thought putting the word “softie” in a slogan with someone named Hancock wouldn’t backfire in any way.
Newcastle, Newcastle, Newcastle Street.
[Newcastle, Newcastle, Newcastle Street.]
Ahh, good old Bruno Napolitano, of 6EBAFM Italian Radio fame and failed candidate for the Italian Parliament when they first allowed expats to stand in an expanded parliament.
Blimey Frank – is there anyone you don’t know??
BTW – I knew the original Captain Cleanup. He told me the Cleanupmobile was an absolute pig to drive, with about a 20 degree range of visibility.
[BTW - I knew the original Captain Cleanup. He told me the Cleanupmobile was an absolute pig to drive, with about a 20 degree range of visibility.]
I’m surprised they licensed it in that condition, btw, it makes an appearance every year in the Xmas Pagaent, where for many years they allowed the vehicles towing the floats to be driven without number plates.
another day, another shoddy architectural scheme
behold the new microbrewery planned for the gaping hole in James Street, seemingly built on the idea of “let’s make it like Little Creatures, but with, like, coloured bits” They seem to have forgotten that LC has harbour views, and this has views of kebab shops.
I particularly like the line:” it will cater for the older more sophisticated market”. Bet that’s the first time you heard the words ‘Northbridge’ and ‘sophisticated’ in the same article.
“If they have an Italian theme we might be able to brew some Italian beer and serve Italian food.”
I hope it is not too insulting to our Italian correspondents on this site to point out that the Italians are to beer what the English are to opera.
[I hope it is not too insulting to our Italian correspondents on this site to point out that the Italians are to beer what the English are to opera.]
Yep, it should be Italian wine and/or Grappa with the good ol Spag Bol.
quick! check out the typo on the West’s website:
” Chinese wecome says Twiggy Forrest”
Twiggy later goes on to say: “this chicken is rubbery”
I took a screen shot for weekend worstoff
note also that ‘accellerate’ is wrong in the adjoining story
too late, they corrected it.
Man that piazza is ugly.
I think there was a line in the worst about the micro brewery attracting women! and sophisticated people.
Not that there aren’t a lot of ladettes out there, but note to developers: young women like clubs and bars, middle aged women like Cino, and old women like Dome. FACT.
They don’t mind going to micro breweries, but you can’t say it will ‘attract’ them. Especially not with a view of a kebab shop.
and skink you’re being a bit generous there… Little Creatures has views of a stagnant corner of fishing boat harbour. It’s a boring crap place in the middle of nowhere that’s hard to get to, and the times I’ve been there with kids I’ve spent the whole time chasing them up ladders before they fall into a vat of roger. Very family friendly.
“the times I’ve been there with kids I’ve spent the whole time chasing them up ladders before they fall into a vat of roger. Very family friendly.”
It probably won’t comfort you to know that the story about proper cider having a dead rat as one of its ingredients isn’t an urban (or even rural) myth.
Maybe LC are trying to give their beer a bit of flavour…….
[and skink you’re being a bit generous there… Little Creatures has views of a stagnant corner of fishing boat harbour. It’s a boring crap place in the middle of nowhere that’s hard to get to, and the times I’ve been there with kids I’ve spent the whole time chasing them up ladders before they fall into a vat of roger. Very family friendly.]
and Ironically it was featured on Tonight’s Getaway – James Lund was doing a story on Freo by Scooter, and no there weren’t any shots of Poor Lisa chasing her brood, but a cringeworthy bit of banter between Lund and “Digger” the Brewer.
did I say I liked Little Creatures?
(I mean the brewery, I admit to being partial to the pilsner)
chasing the little ones up the ladders to view the crap art is one of the joys of LC, along with waiting for an hour for a table on a Sunday.
at least they have chicken wire on the balconies so the little darlings can’t hurl cutlery onto the tables below
I had hoped that the changes to the licencing laws might have given us some small cosy bars, but we get another beer shed instead.
where did they get the idea that microbreweries are sophisticated? clearly they haven’t been to the Feral Brewery on a Sunday. I’m never sure whether the name refers to the beer or the patrons
Chicken wire on the ‘terrace’ too.
Sorry skink I just got the impression you liked the ‘harbour views’.
Maybe sophisticated in Northbridge is a relative concept – meaning, not wearing a kappa tracksuit, and preferring beer to Special K
skink, can you send me the screenshot of the Wecome image?
done – to your amnet address
[where did they get the idea that microbreweries are sophisticated? clearly they haven’t been to the Feral Brewery on a Sunday. I’m never sure whether the name refers to the beer or the patrons]
Oh I agree, listening to the scanner during Spring In The Valley revealed quite a few fights and assaults at said brewery – what an apt name.
Spring in the Valley sounds so bucolic
you imagine lambs gambolling through the daffodils
but the reality is bogans puking in barrels
For all his posturing on sexual deviants etc, Howard Sattler better be careful when he next visits Florida that he isn’t mistaken for his Namesake.
That vacant site has a lot of memories for me. For one I saw TISM there who were fantastic, and also I did my first stand-up performance in the cocktail bar.
“…and preferring beer to Special K”
Maybe that’s the special Italian brew combo they’re referring to.
Bringing families to a microbrewery in Northbridge is as bad an idea as bringing them to Little Creatures.
I’m not sure whether to suggest this under WOP, WOWA, or WOTW:
But pic on p3 of Teh (print version – can’t find the pic online) Oz today. It just aches for a caption contest.
As we all know, our brave pioneers in the NW were accompanied by:
1. Pioneer laundromats (thus ensuring daily freshly washed Country Road kit, or similar from Claremeont).
2. Pioneer hair-stylists accompanying above.
3. Horse: ‘Nicole is tickling my nuts exactly why? She strikes me as both extremely creepy and weird.’
4. OMG. They BOTH have breast implants!.
5.Horse: ‘I. Am. Just. So. Embarrassed.’
Oh sorry, here it is:
They have no shame.
Ok, who remembers from 1980-81, Channel 7′s Contribution to the “C” Classification, The Underground Video Video Show, which introduced us to the one and only Keith Geary ?
The opening theme was Kraftwerk’s “The Robots”.
Also, during Earlybirds later that year, one of their games involving flying spaceships used Split Enz’s Double Happy.
You might wanna check out (if you already havent) the very old water fountain and lilly pond at the bottom of the kokoda steps in kings park on mounts bay road over the road from the swan brewery.
It was built in 1864 (from memory) and its just sitting there waiting to fall appart. the beautifull figure of a black swan is eroding away and the pond is empty and full of rotting fig leaves.
The pond would have looked stunning back in its day and surly is one of the oldest structures standing in perth…. How can they let this go.
I hope you’ll allow me to publish this, it is a comment I made on the North Port Quay Development, as I’m sure the content posted on the North Port Quay Development Proposal blog is going to be heavily moderated.
Here’s to free speech!!!
“I’ll be suprised to see an unbiased point of view on your website so I’ll publish this comment in a few other places.
As for Ross Minett’s comments on facebook, as a developer you’d think you’d have a bit more sense than being so outwardly bias. Obviously set to reap the financial benefits of this project from your comments. Genius!
I see you losing a fair bit of support. You can’t gain support from a majority leftist community (Fremantle if you don’t know what that is) when its so bleedingly obvious you are going to be profiting in some way from this.
Another thing, how many times do you think people are going to be conned into “a good development” because sharky developers throw around words like “sustainbility”.
All I see is a charade of “keywords”. i.e, If you don’t disrupt the seabed in the first place, you wouldn’t have to regenerate it.
All housing is going the way you’ve suggested, so its nothing new. Get with the times man. You aren’t cutting edge!
Sure there is a population pressure in Perth, sprawl is a problem if you see it from that angle. Most don’t for your information, but to move into the sea? How is that possibly sustainable? What about the volumes of concrete, lime, steel and the energy needed to build those islands?
I’d love to see you factor in the quantities of carbon produced by building these islands, and don’t give that lame excuse that you’ll offset it by planting some trees. With that logic, we’d all be out committing crimes and offsetting them with good deeds.
Also, a sustainable community wouldn’t promote the use of some 4000 petrol-guzzling boats.
Here is what happens when I sit in on meetings with you lot. I’m a builder by the way.
Duh, what do we need to get this thing across the line..
Duhhhh, maybe the word sustainbility, usually works. Duhh.
I look forward to the day this word is further defined so it can’t be so recklessly associated with an environmental conscience. The ACCC are onto you. It won’t be long
You guys are just lucky that there are less educated people than yourselves. Its what makes the rich richer eh?
It isn’t that hard to put-forth something really clever. You guys have missed the mark here.
Good luck getting this one thru. Then again, who said capitalism wasn’t a good thing.
Your proposal defies logic and is horrendous misconstrued energy-consuming scar on the coastline. The one location in Perth that should be protected before any other.”
Anyway, love to hear some feedback from you all. Keep up the great work. Stay true to yourselves!
Can I suggest Malcom Day for being a Twat and a hypocrite for these comments he made over the desicion by police not to lay charges over certain photographs by Bill Henson.
[‘If I was to take similar photos and display them in any of our *********.com retail stores, albeit only to adults, coming through the door, they would definately be considered child-pr0n, and here in Western Australia I’d be jailed for that.’]
And note Mr Day, as a member of the Eros Foundation, donated to Hetty Johnston’s 2004 Senate Bid.
There’s always a problem with folks who can never ever get any inspiration from above the waist.
It’s as bad as the other extreme that refuses to acknowledge that, underneath all the artificial layering of fabrics, we are quite naked.
I get the feeling that you can be found down Swanbourne way quite often Rolly.
Nah. I wouldn’t impose that degree of aesthetic abuse on anyone, however deserving.
Anyone seen that blue/black torana with the number plates “PROVE IT” crashed facing the wrong way on the kwinana freeway north bound just before mill point road?
World’s worst education system? Gotta be WA.
Already suggested by Frank in Fax it West, but yeah:
Sniffer dogs in schools. Will Sattler run for a seat?
Or should that be http://wafamilyfirst.com
“we are not a religious party”
Trona, the electronic gladiolus…
WA Family First?
WA’ the FF…
This could be a lot of fun
people in the West have an party worth VOTING for. What took you so long?
Finally the balance of power can be held by a DECENT party representing DECENT people.
The major parties are a DISGRACE: one a squabbling bunch of grubby chair sniffers and fondlers, and the other mob happy to sell our gas to CHINA whilst the pensioners that made this country GREAT sit at home shivering in the cold and eating DOG FOOD. If they had their way there would be small bars and brothels in every neighbourhood and the streets would be full of DRUNKEN WHOREMONGERS.
Let’s make WA a safe and happy place for DECENT people by real TRUTH in sentencing, no funding for unmarried mothers or illegitimate BASTARD children, no funding for HOMOSEXUALS and other degenerates, restrictions on IMMIGRANTS and other queue jumpers, and lets get the unemployed and the DOLE BLUDGERS in the army and over in Afghanistan where they can do something useful ridding the world of the MOSLEM extremists who want to turn us into a Caliphate. We also need a party with the COURAGE to fully implement the army intervention into aboriginal communities and to find a lasting and FINAL solution to that problem.
Me and the people like me will be right behind you.
Please send me an armband as soon as they are available.
(what do you mean I am only allowed 500 characters – how do you expect me to be so brief SHAME ON YOU)
Annie where’s the junior diplomats ?
I note on the TEn News item that WA FF has some former One Nation pollies and Graeme Campbell amongst it’s members.
[Trona, the electronic gladiolus…]
And note she looks a lot like Ljiljanna Ravlich.
And don’t you need 500 members to be registered as a Political Party ? I wonder how many people Sillyvan has found ? :-)
No Videos on their Yotube page but it will be fun to link to some really dodgy videos :-)
A few Neuremburg Rallies should do the trick :0)
I just saw on ABC News Max KAy at the WAFF Launch.
Hasn’t Graeme Campbell been in every party except the Mull party? May Kaye? Wasn’t fat cat available?
[Wasn’t fat cat available?]
Nah, he’ll follow Reece Whitby and be Pre-Selected by the ALP :-)
WA Family First?
More like a Hypocrites Coven.
If one could have hoped for any way of collecting a mass of sad twisted minds together in one place it would have been hard to have done better than this.
They’ll be recruiting from the Exclusive Brethren next.
Better late than never, I guess. In response to takatde, LA and CK’s comments, ( 81, 82, 83 ), regarding the image on 78 Records’ stickers. It was, (or is, if 78 Records is still open ), Texas blues guitarist Blind Lemon Jefferson. A quick Google Images search suggests this may have been the only photo ever taken of him. He was also immortalised by the track bearing his name on the Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds album The First Born is Dead.
OMFG. Check out page 31 of this week’s Xpress.
Slavery is cool.
[OMFG. Check out page 31 of this week’s Xpress.
Slavery is cool.]
Yeah, just saw it, it’s the latest in fashion for the Howard Sattler Youth :-)
Dear Sirs and madam ,
I’d just like to lend your ears for a sec.
I have a modest suggestion ; their is a growing thrett amongst our midst : an insidious enemamy, I drew this to the relephant authorites : Howard Sattler and advisedly thePolices , coz I aint no dobber. THis is the pressence of Eastern staters here. Now I no there hear to ern heaps but there different culcha is messing with me mind. . They drive down the road with there Toyota enviro-buster with Rugby Bugger regalia on it ???!! , and then proceed to do a U-turn at a set of lites ???!!! I have to rush inside and turn on 6PR to reassure meself I’m still living in GodZOne.THere as ugly as robber’s dogs so their is no thrett to the women , but still the point remains. God help you if one lives next door. I’ll now turn youse over and do the other side , see yas later.
Im looking at purchasing a small nuclear device for personal use only………does anyone have any contacts? Im happy to provide a finders fee.
For Bunbury or the Suck Cess area?
Perhaps if I up the ante and suggest a device of around 200 megatons. We could then deal with both sites simultaneously……………..and everything else in between……nice.
Yangebup already have the mutants. Who knows what radiation will do to them.
Damn Mutants……..maybe if we could somehow control the zombies from Kwinana then we would have a silm chance of victory. Any idea iof these mutants still have thumbs?…..you’re pretty well fucked without them….apparently.
I am surprised that TWOP has not made some comedy mileage out of the recent visit of the Secretary of State of the United States, and the fact that the best that Perth could offer was tea with Stephen Smith’s parents and a visit to a Catholic school.
can we have a category of “Worst self-promotion by a WA politician”?
what was that all about? Didn’t Smith’s parents and children believe he was Foreign Minister, so he had to bring home Condi Rice?
“see Mum, I am important – she’s Secretary of State you know – one word from her and we can nuke Morley.”
I had hoped that he would bring her to his office in Beaufort Street then maybe a bargain box at Charco Chicken and a swift midi at the Civic, but clearly Smith does not know how to show a girl a good time in Inglewood
Mainly because I really like to have an original picture for as many posts as possible. There really are not that many blogs with so many original pics rather than copied and linked ones.
I was a little surprised that Woosha and Peter Bell were at the dinner for her.
“Ah, Mr Worsfold, I’ve heard so much about you. You coached the team of drug crazed dumbarses? And also coached that Mr Chick who looks like Molly Meldrum’s grandfather? And Peter, you captained cringeworthy, embarrassing losers called The Peel Peckers? Then tried to make yourself REALLY look like a winner by living in Geraldton? Village idiot in Bunbury not available at the time?
[I was a little surprised that Woosha and Peter Bell were at the dinner for her.]
And I wonder how the conversation between her and Troy Buswell went ?
Did he take the opportunity to show her his party trick using her Brastrap ? Did he sniff her chair ??
As this a suggest, might I point out that LA has fallen down badly by not giving a gurnsey to Luke Steele of the Sleepy Jackson?
Surely one of the biggest tossers to come out of Perth since, well, Luke Steele.
That rotating sign on the Murray St Mall near the Carillion Arcade.
The one that makes the terrible terrible rrrrrrrrIRRIRIIirrRRrrrrrrr noise.
Worthy of a TWOP video example.
While buying lunch in the Brighton Bakery on Brighton rd, Scarborough I noticed chocolate coated marsh-mellow treats called “Penguins” after laughing really loudly and making a dick of myself I took a photo.
Here’s a link: http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/6954/image001jr3.jpg
Now to me, they look like little obese Ku klux klan knights that have been face planted into chocolate.
LA I will not have disrespect the town of my birth…………..decimate it please.
Ive been given the redeployed today for spending too much time online waiting for upates on TWOP……………………………………goodbye employer funded webucation………………….
You’re a gerro man Forky? Ah. And so it begins.
I am the villiage idiot……………………Bunbury
took a snap of a sign copy/pasted from office ’97 wordart, if that cranks your handle:
Yes it does
I don’t know where this should go, TLA, so I’m just going to put it here. I have a feeling you’re going to like it.
Heads up frrom the Ch 7 Newsmail.
[And big changes for the Channel Seven Christmas Pageant. We'll tell you more at six.]
I wonder what horrors will be inflicted on the public – Troy Buswell playing Santa ??
That really is *GOLD*
[Heads up frrom the Ch 7 Newsmail.
I wonder what horrors will be inflicted on the public – Troy Buswell playing Santa ??]
And…. It’s Back to the Future, they’re moving it to a Sunday Afternoon and the route will be Riverside Drive, Plain St, St Georges Terrace and finishing in Victoria Ave, and ending with…..
A Sausage Sizzle.
Historians should note that the Pagaent was originally held during daylight hours .
I wonder if Dr Karl whinged about police numbers on a Saturday Night interfering with Operation Nightsafe in Northbridge, as well as Daylight Saving impacting on the start time ?
@ 414, Frank,
Could it be that their trying to reduce their ‘carbon footprint’?
Now, if the floats were to be propelled by people power that really would be a serious effort. :D
‘Scuse, please, the grammatical error: *they’re* :D
[Now, if the floats were to be propelled by people power that really would be a serious effort. :D]
The Hare Krishna float and the Scilian club already do :-)
Does anyone know if the foundations being dug on the Eastern side of the causeway are really for the half arsed ferris wheel?
Can I please nominate Peter Van Onselen, former Howard Ministeral Staffer, now a Political Analyst, for basically campaigning for Barnett with drivel like this ?
[Political analyst Peter van Onselen said the shock move, in the wake of Mr Barnett's installation as opposition leader after Troy Buswell quit the post on Monday, was a strategic blunder.
"I think the timing is a shock on a number of levels, I'm surprised that the Premier has made such a cynical political move because one of the great strengths of his premiership has been in not being a politician almost or at least not having that image…" Dr van Onselen said.
"I think the public are absolutely awake ... to Carpenter's rhetoric that he won't be basing his decisions on the problems in the Liberal Party versus the reality that this is exactly what he's done," he said.
"He might say he's not worried about Colin Barnett as leader of the opposition, but his decision to call the election so quickly shows he's that he's petrified of him.
"He's petrified that, if given the chance to present himself as a possible alternative, that he could win the election.
"So he's made a strategic decision which I think is a strategic blunder…"
But the Labor Party remained favourites, with the Liberals facing an uphill battle to gain the five or six per cent swing needed to win, Dr van Onselen said.
"I still think the Labor Party are favourites but will be a closer election that it would have been," he said.]
This is going to be a real fun night – NOT.
[Saturday 16th August - 2008 Hanson Swan Business Awards
Featuring WA's sought after comic act Peter Dee and live band Face to Face
Venue: Sandalford Wines
Time: 7.00pm for Pre-dinner drinks - Awards Dinner 7.30pm
Cost: $120 per person]
Note one of the Award Sponsors are “Your Local Liberal Team” – I wonder if they will be available despite being smack bang in the middle of an Election Campaign ?
Oh dear, TWOP target Simon O’Brien has been dumped from Colin’s Kitchen Cabinet :-)
Well apart from not responding to my very reasonable query on the opposition’s foreshore policy, he also had a very stupid mo and appears to be an idiot when he appears on TV.
[Deputy leader Kim Hames takes health and indigenous affairs, Norman Moore takes resources development and mines while Simon O'Brien takes transport.]
Whoops my mistake, he’s still there :-(
I think Face to Face played at my high school ball, back in the early 90s. Who’d have thought they’d outlast Nirvana…
Can we please have a sticky’ed thread dedicated to the State Election please :-)
will get onto it.
Page three. Satdy W*st. Ferris wheel. “Artist’s impression.” “London Eye-style.” Scan pic.
And here is yer actual London Eye:
Honestly. I don’t know why PCC don’t just approve a giant Royal Show mechanical clown to complete the picture, especially after they rejected wind-turbines on a St George’s Tce building (you know, like a wind-tunnel, thanks to previous PCC planning decisions) partly on aesthetic grounds:
Oh wait. Giant clown. That’s such a great idea I’ve had.
It could actually put Perth on the map.
You know, as the city actually has no geographical location and may, in fact, be floating around in space somewhere.
Oh fuck. We are. Along with the rest of the world.
It’s all so confusing. Where is the memorial to John Glenn?
I’ll shut-up now.
I had been meaning to nominate Christie Allen’s Goosebumps disco song for worst song, but I saw she died in the paper today.
[I had been meaning to nominate Christie Allen’s Goosebumps disco song for worst song, but I saw she died in the paper today.]
Yes, it is unwise to speak ill of the dead, even if the song itself was rather uninspiring.
She died in the paper?
I’m giving you a cardiac arrestive stare bento.
Apologies – sometimes the old student journalist sub-editor in me escapes, despite my best efforts not to be a tedious pedant.
Which reminds me of the time the former president of the SJA bestowed on one of the lecturers a ‘humorous’ Christmas Party award “for being such a pedantic”.
The acceptance speech consisted of five words: “I think you mean ‘pedant’.”
Fell head first into her copy of the Worst. Goosebumps was playing on the stereo.
the Webby Awards for excellence on the intertubes insists that acceptance speeches frr awards are limited to five words.
famous speeches include:
Flock The Social Web Browser: “No shit! We beat Facebook?”
Al Gore: “Please don’t recount this vote.”
Stephen Colbert: “me, me, me, me, me.”
Via a post on LP, here is some classic Burgo on Wheel Of Fortune.
Saw this on the Esplanade in Mt. Pleasant the other day:
The picture doesn’t quite capture the size of the thing–it’s about 5ft tall and the sheen of ugly it radiates is visible from the fugging moon.
Apologies for the blurriness but it was with a mobile phone from a car. Not a bad effort considering, says I.
This is an old favourite which people invariably try to refresh a few times before they read it,
… but you ( and your fellow bloggers ) might be interested in this new take on the theme, should you fancy a little geekin’ around sometime.
Hey, regarding the worst architecture, how about worst sustainable practices?
I am thinking of the places that have the sprinklers system still on and firing away in winter, including during rain.
It is a pet peave of mine.
For example – CURTIN University of “Technology”, has planted all these waterwise plants – yet has the sprinklers blasting away throughout Autumn, Winter and Spring, and of course Winter rains and thunderstorms.
It is groundwater, but they are the SOR’s biggest user of groundwater, with ten bores, according to Curtin sources.
It’s pretty frikken stupid to have the sprinklers firing away during a thunderstorm and also lay claim to be a centre of “Technology”, what ever that is supposed to mean.
And yes, I have asked the Uni why this is so – the Answer I recieved was “We don’t turn them off during Winter because we forget to turn them back on for Summer”.
True. No Lie.
I spotted an item in the community newspaper that is right up TWOp’s alley.
The Town of Vincent is proposing new signage at the boundary. Apparently the current signs, which read “The Town of Vincent is a Nuclear Free Zone”, are just not snappy enough, and may be a fib if Barnett starts running trucks full of yellowcake through the suburbs in the dead of night.
there is a proposal to use their new slogan: “Enhancing and Celebrating our Diverse Community” – but that is equally rubbish.
Nick Catania has suggested running an open competition for the design of the signage and a new catchphrase.
Given TWOP’s penchant for graphic design, and the consistent appearance of town signage on these pages, it could be the perfect opportunity to stop the carping and contribute.
My first idea was a sheet of corflute with a new slogan printed in comic sans:
“Vincent – run like Sicily, but with electricity”
A competition? Sounds good.
“Vincent – run like Sicily, but with electricity”
That is very funny.
as the end of the year approaches, I notice that the papers are trotting out their predictable lists of ‘movie of the year’, ‘man of the year’, ‘ best sporting moments’ and so on.
my favorite so far has been ‘biggest disasters of 2008′
no mention of Baz Luhrmann on that list.
will TWOP be having a review of the year?
a Best of the Worst?
Man of the Year? (must be close between Carps, Troy and Booze Bus Benny)
maybe a Golden Worst?
it would require some sort of trophy. Perhaps a small gold statuette of a kneeling woman with Alsation
how about this medal:
Would you anticipate the list be compiled through the mechanism of some sort of online poll, skink? I recall that didn’t work out so well last time…
I think this would be a good opportunity for LA to break out the snazzy voting button gizmo
It might be a chance for Tracy Flick Cohen to pervert the course of democracy, but I am so over that.
not bitter in the slightest
it’s not like he would have anything to gain, unless of course he was nominated.
there could be a category “Worst Spray”
Worst use of obscenity on tv?
You crazy guys. I did a list last year on Rotto Bloggo: it was greeted with tremendous indifference.
I welcome any online poll. Yet again skink will be crushed like a bug.
I would like to nominate myself for the TWOP Top Ten. In a story this year I got Dan Mazzotti’s name wrong all the way through the article: I called him Ben.
this guy deserves a TWOP mention:
a bloke in Bunbury who built his own Tesla coil in his back yard and does party tricks with it
a Darwin Award waiting to happen
Soooo Not Worst!
… an the nominee for worst Perth musical of the year is
an the Most curious blog scraping exercize in crativity Perth Apocalypse
There are rewards for staying home, not turning on the TV, and doing something constructive.
This was evidently one of them.
They’ll have to be mighty good to make a spoof out of a farce, though
I thought the whole point of TWOP was to make a spoof out of a farce
the Nurry imitators are remarkably adept at it
True, very true, Skink.
TWOPers are the avante garde of the genre.
But Bill’s reference was to a theatical mob giving it a go.
If they were to tune in to TWOP they might, just might, stand a chance.
Skink – I see that as more like making a poof out of old farts.
Mr Japanese lunch box you are not immune from the implications of Skinks’s “deliberations.”
I hope everyone’s personning their vantage points for the transport disaster that the Big Day Out usually becomes.
I’ll have the scanner going on Transperth Rail frequencies to hear the frazzled CSA’s, Supervisors, PIMS and various security personell doing what they do best. Especially when it is specificallyh mentioned that there will be limited additional services on the Fremantle Line.
Note the following:
A normal Sunday timetable will apply, with additional services operating on all lines.
Passengers are asked to plan their journey by using the Transperth JourneyPlanner (click here to access the JourneyPlanner).
It is important to note that people wanting to make connecting services to the Armadale, Thornlie, Joondalup, Mandurah and Midland Lines will need to plan additional time to allow for connections.
There will be no additional bus services operating on the day, and no additional bus services at suburban stations for connections with the extra train services being provided.
A normal Sunday timetable will apply, with additional services operating on all lines.
Passengers are asked to plan their journey by using the Transperth JourneyPlanner (click here to access the JourneyPlanner).
It is important to note that people wanting to make connecting services to the Armadale, Thornlie, Joondalup, Mandurah and Midland Lines will need to plan additional time to allow for connections.
There will be no additional bus services operating on the day, and no additional bus services at suburban stations for connections with the extra train services being provided.
And as predicted, there is chaos at the Showgrounds and the event still has 12 minutes to go.
Here’s an opportunity for Twoppers to contribute to public sculpture at the conception stage, rather than bagging it once it has been installed.
The cathedral precinct is planning a new sculpture of George and the Dragon, and have received 94 submissions which are available for public comment and vote
get in there and give your opinion and vote, if only to stop another Smiths sculpture from cluttering the city. They will probably choose something dull and figurative, but maybe they will break the habit of a lifetime and choose something more daring.
personally I like the last one, Uldis Zarins’ big red tongue, if only because of all the juvenile cunnilingus jokes it affords.
My vote’s for the one made out of green & yellow M&Ms. It brought to mind a certain bust of a former premier.
I’m not surprised ‘Good & Evil’ prompted headscratching in the observer. I wondered what the fuck it was, too.
A drunken half witted part human part dragon of Paul Kubic seems more like a suitable TWOP candidate for St George and the dragon. I don’t think any of the modernist representations are any good. In ten years time people will merely say ” What in the hell is that?”
Jeez, like the mythology that is religion itself, the tale G & the dragon is ubiquitous; spread widely across multiple faiths.
The Headline photo of the cathedral is another myth, ignoring completely that this little brick building is almost lost in a sea of edifices dedicated to avarice and mammon.
What an impressive collection of worst and worster, skink, granted, of course, that the main problem seems to be that hideous building behind the submissions.
I voted for Georgi Michev’s “please put herbs into the holes”, based solely, I must admit, on his wonderful accompanying text, so evocative of Amos Tutuola.
“When God made man of earth and laid him to dry in the sun, covertly slinked in the Devil and stabbed his body in forty one spots. After a while came God to put him soul in but the soul does not staid in the body. – Hm, it was done by the Devil to force me into making of other man. But this is what I do! And God picked herbs and corked up all forty holes but one of them was left open by him. When God putted soul in, the man rose to his feet and asked: – Lord, why didn’t you corked up this hole too? – This hole is the death – answered God. Therefore dies the man. And the herbs that God corked up the holes with grew up to be medicinal herbs.”
I have to ask:
how come Hoey didn’t make the shortlist?
Another victory for the YWL mafia.
This is what they need:
Excellent article, Ljuke, although the Wimmera Mail Times might want to check the ip address of that email.
Personally, I think a 50 metre high Ed Roth hotrod would be a more suitable steed.
Kudos to Yarriambiack Shire Mayor Andrew McLeod, who trumped the emailer by declaring that the town had “a dry creek bed and a few dry lakes” for attractions. Now that, is dry.
They had a scale model of it at the Nick Cave exhibition, accompanied by some words from the great man himself. He said that if the council didn’t want it, they’d drag it out into the desert and leave it there.
it is difficult not to laugh at this news story:
after two arson attacks on Warwick Police station, and a ram raid on Joondalup, police initiated patrols around their own police station which resulted in… an arsonist setting fire to a police officer.
police are now asking for ‘greater protection’, since it would appear that a gun and a tazer are not enough.
I’ve got $5 says the next thing to go up in flames is the new CCTV equipment.
and I’ll lay another $5 that Sattler’s column tomorrow is about the rise in the price of electricity hurting pensioners.
It will be the “Herne Hill Hero” and and defending oneself in the home.
And I’m surprised he didn’t do that last week as his column was posted on Friday, and it all happened Wednesday Night and the media knew on Thursday Morning – adequate time for Howie to whip up a column :-)
he was probably waiting to see if he was charged. If he had been then Sattler would come out all guns blazing.
now that it has come out that the gun went off during a struggle, and he has been released without being charged, the story is a bit of a dead duck.
not that that ever stops Sattler from stirring up a bit of nowtrage.
he was probably waiting to see if he was charged. If he had been then Sattler would come out all guns blazing.
now that it has come out that the gun went off during a struggle, and he has been released without being charged, the story is a bit of a dead duck.
he was probably waiting to see if he was charged. If he had been then Sattler would come out all guns blazing.
Considering this all a bit close to home, I do note the bad puns :-) And you’re right about the story being a dead duck – today Sattler’s going on about Warwick Police Station etc. This does not look good for Rob Johnston at all the last 7 days – so much for Laura Norder :-)
We were both wrong, his column is about the SAS and the pay stuff up.
yes, I was wrong, so I put five bucks in the bushfire collection tin at work.
Sattler seems unaware of the promise from the Armed Forces Chief to a Senate Committee that the troops will be paid and nobody will be disciplined
What are we going to do when faced with such opposition? I blame the courts and the politicians for creating these absurd laws we have to uphold. Comes knock off time I’m out the door like a rocket propelled grenade. It’s hell out there : freakin dangerous Perth. Poor young copper got his arse burnt. It’s more dangerous than Peshawar or Mexico.
I didn’t join the police to have physical confrontations with people just to fill out forms at which I am very good. It’s scary, it’s frightening , I’m shitting meself now where’s a place I can go and hide. This young bloke is about 17 judging by the bicycle seat ; but he’s got us terrified , we’re shivering in our boots .The whole West Australian police force is in hiding because of this young bloke all because I’d say his licence has been suspended. A real urban terrorist, so we are looking for a short arse who lost his licence after he was pulled over by silver late model unmarked police car and who lives near the Warwick police station. Now is that scary or what?
He’s gone crackers, he’s gone nuts and there’s no stopping him Perhaps the entire police force will have to leave the state until he’s calmed down
Western civilisation is on the brink and the thin blue line has turned brown. The Vandals and the Visigoths are at our gate. Rome is burning, it’s AD64 and Nero is in charge. Arrivederci Roma.
We’re stretched to the breaking point. Is there anybody out there who can help us? We need a permanent presence at Warwick of 500 officers, razor wire, fortifications that would do the Coffin cheaters proud and CCTV cameras (remember how long it took to get them around Claremont?); and we’ll do patrols in APCs. Then we’ll call it Fort Bravo. We’d bring in the SAS but they are having trouble with bouncers.
As usual , my mates the Police Union can be relied upon to be the complete headless chooks running around screaming the “sky is falling in”. When you need political support you’ve got it in those blokes.
Run for your freakin lives, it’s your only chance, and get away from the exits I’m coming through!
( Postscript : we’ve found the culprit and it was just who I thought it was , so we can all go back to sleep now except for that $10 mill in the tube for Warwick /Fort Bravo , thanks Col’n).
Here’s The Worst of Perth being praised from Fitzroy.
The new reply function is great, TLA, and I’m trying to remember to use it, and to reply to the right comment when I do, with some success.
Here’s what I’d really like. In the Worst Talk section we can see just the last 15 comments posted, but any posted prior to that are a mystery. Is it possible to have a Recently Active Posts list, with new comment numbers bolded, or at least total individual Post comment numbers listed ? You know what I mean. It’s not, is it ?
p.s. You know what’s really worst. Not that there’s a section entitled Worst Ctegories, but that it’s taken me 9 months to notice.
Ctegories stays. It feels right.
Agree with Snuff re disappearing comments. When DFOC and Cookster get on a riff, every other comment disappears into the ether.
I’m the riff and the Cockster is the raff.
I am terriff, and he is naff.
And now in haiku form?
That’s the most comments I can display.
Brng bck teh ctegories!
OK, I added most active posts (over the past 48 hours). 15 comments is the most I can give you.
Thanks, TLA. First class service.
p.s. I miss the Ctegories already. Was it always like that, or are you messin’ with our heads ?
something positive for a change:
the plans for the Sculpture Park on Heirisson Island have been released, and I think it is a rather spendid idea and all concerned deserve congratulations and our support.
there is still a long way to go (the bridge designs suck, but that’s GHD for you), but I think it is a more positive idea for the use of the river than tacky commercial developments and Swan Island.
And we are all confident, based on the existing Perth foreshore and surrounding district sculptures, that this will be a project of the hightest possible artistic quality with multiple aboriginal figures, leaping dolphins, bronzed life like figures of Paddy Hannan, kangaroos, koalas, a scattering of crocodiles and a couple of good old diggers thrown in for sentimental value……can’t wait to see all these tagged within the first week.
Gomboc-on-Swan has a nice ring to it.
I must say I wondered about sculpture getting tagged, but then stuff in King’s Park seldom gets tagged (except for that camel toe)
I have noticed that Perth taggers are quite timid – if it’s nice, they don’t touch it.
Good lord those bridges are a revelation.
Where do they go to my lovely?
Very happy to have a sculpture park on Heirisson but the first bridge terminates in the water and that couple do si do-ing down the last bridge would kick the head off a yagan soon as look at it.
Talking about sculpture have you checked out S by Sea in Cott TLA? Had a quick look on Friday but didn’t have time for a good wander – nothing particularly radical as far as I could see.
Price tags are radical…….get rich quick scheme
Not saying I disagree entirely but a friend has a piece there which has sold for about $21 000.
The organisers take $7000. The cost of materials was about $7000 and the final $7000 has to cover three months of solid work and the making of four scale models prior to that. He reckons he could only do about three a year so it is not necessarily a great way to make money.
I do believe there is a piece there for upwards of $300 000. That had to cover the cost of shipping it in a container from the USA so you would want to make it worth your while I guess.
Haven’t seen. Last year’s had nothing bad enough. Sure there was bad, but nothing horrific unfortunately.
Doesn’t seem to be anything particularly worstworthy there this year either, TLA. I don’t mind ‘the drifter’, or ‘spheres’, personally, although the latter only because it reminds me of The Prisoner. The pylon’s still looking good.
the usual mix of the derivative, the whimsical, that old favourite: “I can make a quick trick brick stack, ” and just one thing that is mildly controversial enough to guarantee a few headlines (the chicken roadkill)
‘the drifter’ is vaguely similar to the concrete tourists in the hills that featured on TWOP some time ago
The only problem is that they have avoided the 300 kg gorilla in the mist : the Causeway. Time to think the big thoughts on how to get rid of it.
I say we demolish it. And the Windan Bridge. And the Narrows. And stock the Swan with crocodiles and piranha.
I love the causeway. What’s wrong with it.
It doesn’t function all that well as a road into the city anymore , as that’s what the pollypipe does. There could be car parks on the Vic Park side and public transport ( trams via one end of Heirisson island ) into the city. Heirisson island would then be one public space.
I have no quibble with the Causeway per se, but it allows the huns access to the civilised side of the river.
Perhaps we could build a fence at, say, East Vic Park, and thereby keep the Causeway whilst maintaining security.
but what about the unwashed hordes from the North?
surely some sort of moat is required to protect the northern approaches, and perhaps a wall?
we shall build a crystal castle on an island, and She-Ra shall be our queen
I know just the man for the job, skink.
p.s. Perhaps they could relocate the red one ?
does it have sideburns?
is it Troy Buswell?
As long as those cursed Smiths don’t get to cast any more bronze over there.
I did notice that The Smiths have made the shortlist for the George and Dragon sculpture, and heaven knows I’m miserable now.
I think I’ve heard that one before.
But that joke isn’t funny anymore, it’s close to home and too near the bone
Link Skink ?
slap me on the patio
and speaking of garbage cluttering up the streets,
our old friend the mayor of Vincent (Gateway to Dog Swamp TM) has complained about the amount of garbage left on the verge for council collection.
see if you can spot the most useless piece of unwanted trash in this photo:
Always on the lookout for movies about Perth, I was lucky last night to see an extended trailer for anatomically correctly titled “Two Fists One Heart”, a story that had to be told about a boy growing up in Perth to be a boxer.
I’m please to say it has all the necessary elements, boy bullied by father, schoolfriends etc until he meets a blonde who gives his life meaning until she sees him in a bar brawl.
Featured dialogue: Blonde: “You can’t blame your father! We’ve all got fathers!”
Boxer: “Not like my father!”
There wasn’t a shot of boxer running up the steps of Parliament House in the early morning, but I think they might have saved that out of the trailer for the movie.
So did it look really bad? And speaking of bad, where’s the goss on The Cockstar porno movie?
I propose a game: take the above quote, “You can’t blame your father! We’ve all got fathers!”, and replace the word “Father” with any word of your choosing, hence:
“You can’t blame your wanger! We’ve all got wangers!”
Juvenile, yet fun.
the trailer doesn’t look so bad:
there are some Italian-Australian stereotypes that look a bit hackneyed (circle work in a Monaro), but there are others here better qualified to comment on whether it is a true representation.
I’d be interested to see how Nick Minchin gets on. I can only assume that there must be some quality to the movie if it tempted him to get involved.
and Slanderer should know by now that there are a great many contributors to this site who do not have fathers. A right shower of bastards we are.
I’d be interested to see how Nick Minchin gets on. I can only assume that there must be some quality to the movie if it tempted him to get involved.
Don’t you mean TIM ? Nick Minchin is a Liberal Senator from South Australia :-)
and yep, it’s every Italo-Aust stereotype, the bastard dad, the soft mother etc – I call this Rocky in Balcatta :-)
yes, er, Tim
I am hoping, very hard, that it was not a Freudian slip
You love Nick. You love Nick. Skink and Nick Minchin sitting in a tree…
I think you’ll find that Tim Minchin is Nick Minchin’s father. Or is it the other way round?
Hence the dialogue in the movie:
Random blonde: “You can’t blame your father, we’ve all got fathers!”
Tim: “Yeah, but mine introduced Workchoices.”
And Perth Now LOVE the Movie.
And The pics in the social pages are a who’s who of possible persons of interest to the WA Police – I’m surprised there weren’t some plain clothes officers in the crowd :-)
I have to suggest Chicken Treat’s latest radio ad: they have a holiday for Hawaii up for grabs, but the voice doing the spruiking is Jamaican.
What the? Island paradise, much the same…but because it’s a local fast food place, you’d think they would’ve got someone with a Rotto accent.
Is that so much to ask?
The TV ad uses the same voiceover, it is a shocker, and to think I know the owner Frank Romano who married into some friends of the family whose late patriach owned a Fish & Chip Shop on Ct Northern Hwy which is now owned by the youngest son.
Do they taste like chicken, DFOC ?
the marsupial or the mammaries?
It’s a very good question, skink. All I’m saying is that I came to Google Images for quokka, but I stayed for Angie.
sauteed in the right sauce , jus perfec and don’t forget to tell the ranger how much you enjoyed your meal.
DFOC – I know I live very close to your office, but I didn’t realise you were able to overhear all my petty gripes. I was moaning about this very issue only last night.
I would be interested to hear the Rotto accent. I assume it is similar to the Perth accent, only the consonants are a little more slurred.
I have spies everywhere, Bento.
They taste deliciously Ukrainian, Snuff: http://blog.littlevoices.com/2007/08/quokka-kiev.html
Innaresting. Having noticed recently that the now demolished flaming wardrobe is still extant on Google Street View, perhaps you could conjure up an interactive tour of worsts, vanished and otherwise, TLA. It’d be a shoo in for the 2009 Award.
WTF is that ? One of these days I’ll get the hang of linking Street Views.
No problem with that Google map in my browser Snuff (Iceweasel). Those Google map award winners could do with a bit of colour and movement e.g mouseover and text.
Right you are, Bill. Seems fine in IE. My FF is overtweaked .
Worked on my Firefox.
Cool, Bento. It’s just my add-ons.
and WTF is Colin Barnett doing with daylight saving?
he has spoken on ABC radio saying that he now plans to vote in favour of it because the business lobby have got to him, although he himself doesn’t like it because it doesn’t fit in with his tennis schedule.
is he trying to have an each way bet on this?
doesn’t want to upset the business people and the 500 Club who fill the party coffers, but doesn’t want to upset the battlers either?
and why have no other media picked up on Barney’s backflip?
Actually it was mentioned on Ch 9, 7 and I think the ABC
when the Premier wastes a few million on another pointless referendum and then changes his mind about what is the best outcome, it deserves a bit more than a passing mention.
and where are the West? The Premier barely gets a mention these days.
Barnett is getting caned about Fremantle lead exports, his flip on DLS, Buswell begging for cash because the budget is slipping, Lannie kicking him over Oakajee, Karlo Kallahan now writing his own opinion column, plus the Rocket Racer scandal, and Barnett’s face does not even appear in the newspaper.
The West either ignore the story, bury it, or try to spin it back on the Opposition.
I was talking about it with My Ning only yesterday. He has said he would vote no AND yes.
Hard to imagine My Ning playing tennis with Barnett. Mind you, stranger things have happened.
Oooohhh, LA. Look at this on Dark Roasted Blend: Street sculpure from around the world -
And NOTHING from Perth. I suggest you rectify the situation ASAP!
I thought the Curtin folk might enjoy this story about a proposed tram linking Curtin and UWA
they say the tram will serve Perth’s “technological heart”
who knew we had one?
and it describes the route as the city’s ‘knowledge arc’
if it passes through Vic Park it will be more of a ‘cretin curve’
How about a “Worst of Perth” party/gathering… At adventure world, or if you want to be like every other website, at a pub.
Please note: there is a pub at adventure world ;)
Has anyone nominated Mr Fist the Optometrist, yet? (318 Murray St. Perth)”
Nothing happening with this then?
Spotted this yesterday driving along canning hwy
Someone has sent many pictures of it. Up soon.
Maybe not the very worst Perth website ever, but I would have thought the state’s leading celebrity lawyer would have more than just an online business card like this:
That Website has already been covered and more in the thread entitled Chong an You, which includes postings from Ms Chong herself.
Ross, Ross, Ross. Can you really have missed all the Chong action? Was the talk of the town. Love your website BTW. Hoon is a great shot.
not to mention our own ringtone, and this:
(never miss an opportunity to get some traction)
LOL – Spot on!
Is the interior of that place based on the old Prix D’Amor in Mossy Park before they demolished it?
By theay Skink. You “sold” about half a dozen tones.
I must say, I expected the demand to be higher. I wanted to hear it ringing out in restaurants, and on buses.
That Hoon sign is being considered by Dr Karlo to be expanded statewide in addition to other name and shame type deterrents imported straight from Sun Hill :-)
What about Worst Pun. My earlier comment on the Condor and the Scotsman was obviously too bad to get past the moderator. But here it is anyway:
You’ve been conned. It’s not a door. Maybe a high class gold con. A Con d’Or?
Oh it spammed you for some reason.
I guess puns are spam, really. Fair enough.
LA – now your hotmail is bouncing my emails (from a different address to the one I used to contact skink) for ‘policy reasons’. I seem to be persona non grata in hotmail land.
The extension of Marmion Ave to Two Rocks must be a worst , both in terms of city planning and environmental vandalism. Keep the ugly beach side suburbs coming folks , if we keep going we can get rid of all that bush junk from Perth to Geraldton. And a totally useless piece of road too close to the beach.
Went up to Guilderton for the day via Wanneroo Road. There is a stretch, just after where the bush begins, where the quantity of empty beer bottles along the verge becomes very noticeable. There was one bit where a fire had come through recently, and the combination of desolation and booze made me think of TWOP.
Returned via the new Marmion Ave. Only recently opened yet with very wide sandy verges which have posed a challenge, to the kind of drivers who throw empty beer bottles out of the vehicle, to throw the bottles as far as possible.
another bloody test
LA can’t you delete these tests? I cant bare the public humiliation.
So, I’m useless am I? Hmph.
perhaps you can redeem yourself by telling me how fuckin long it takes for these fuckin gravatars to kick in?
your gravitar is visible to me, although I can’t tell what it is.
looks like a woman in need of a Roman Spring
so how come its not visible on the home page…or are you just taking the piss?
I can see it fine. Moody cow.
Now I am convinced you guys are fucking with my head. Poor Lisa is right, men are beasts.
thanks mrs stone, one for my crypt
“Poor lisa is right”
patience. it might not show up on your screen until tomorrow
gravitars are unpredictable and tardy, like women
To be double sure I googled Roman Spring…bastards.
‘Shazza’ was taken (can you believe it?) and my husbands name is Stone. Don’t even think about making snide and offensive Sharon Stone jokes.
I say welcome to the site Mrs Stone, if that is my place to do so.
Now put your thick skin on and join the party…. also check your spelling of bare.
Richarbl, bare was intended as a bit of a play on words, as in feeling exposed. Kind of a long shot I concede.
Iv’e been at this party for a little while now I’m just struggling with a moniker changeover.
It came up straight away. Can see it at home and work.
Did you clear your cache, that might work?
Thanks Grrr, that did the trick.
Did anybody see “Something in the Water” last night? It was basically a bunch of self-important wankers congratulating each other for being big fish in the smallest puddle of mud.
I boycotted the program as I learned in advance there was to be no coverage of Charlotte’s Web.
The something in the water was “wee”.
Apparently last night’s broadcast was the “Readers Digest version for TV – apparently the DVD version has longer interviews and different songs – and note they included Rolf Harris, but no Johnny Young – despite the soundtrack featuring Mr De Jong’s Step Back, which was written by Stevie Wright in the toilet of his Perth Hotel Room when they visited Perth and Johnny had turned up at 9am with his tape recorder.
The original demo, entitled Jump Back is featured on the Cherry Red Compilation entitled Clarion Call, which was a result of the Late Martin Clarke sellling the Clarion Masters, bar Johnny Young’s which are still owned by Warner Music – to the UK Company.
I missed it but if it didn’t include Dave Warner’s from the Suburbs OR Charlotte’s Web (!) then WHERE is the cred.
Quite. Also where’s Dave Hole, Elks, Matt Taylor, Visitor, Loaded Dice, Venetians, Riffs, Rockets, etc.
Did you see that the Cottesloe pylon (a previous worst, i think), was toppled in the wild weather?
I am glad they spent $170 000 on…well something….to stop it from falling down.
Well spotted Georgie, perhaps someone could explain exactly what they spent the money on?
Thanks, Georgie. I’d always thought it was a remnant of the pier.
Can someone get down to Freo and snap a shot of this boxing roo with a can of Swan before it’s a vanished worst, TLA.
I have a shot of it already.
Fine work, TLA. I should have guessed.
You’d think she would have known better, TLA, after dying the first time she saved him.
Many happy returns, LA. Good riddance to the last year.
Would YOU be willing to put your child in a bag?
Now that’s one survey I would love to have read !
Does anyone have a photo of the mutant demon child from the murals that used to grace the interior of Queensgate Carpark in Fremantle? I’m not sure if they’re still there, but it was a “happy family portrait” type thing near the stairwells on each level, and the youngest member of that family was a sight to behold (complete with a turtle-neck, a seemingly post-napalm face, and rudimentary claw-like hands). Speaking of Queensgate carpark – the exterior colour scheme has to qualify as a worst!
Those Australian Centre for Concrete Arts kiddies should be workin on Curtin. An LA ever heard of the expression “loads too slow”.
How about we change the subject to the fact youth vandals are targeting our local city buses and making it hell for people to travel on city transport. It is a massive issue which needs to be dealt with :)
Young people are indeed a source of great concern, Davo.
Thankfully, someone has the kahunas to alert us to their every misdeed.
has nobody suggested that perhaps these youths could channel their frustration into making attractive aboriginal murals to beautify …er, oh.
I tried taking a photo of the new disco speed signs all the way up the Beaufort Street strip, which are worthy of a Worst.
They advise that the speed limit is reduced to 40k. Since I was stuck in a jam at 3pm and it took four changes of the lights to get through the Walcott St junction, I thought the irony was almost funny enough to make me not want to strangle whomever put them up.
Unfortunately Inside Cover ran the story this morning.
what’s going on? TWOP is being beaten to the punch by a restaurant critic. The fat fucker can’t even break into a run, and still gets there ahead of you.
and whilst I am talking about ‘not with that blood pressure, you’re not’ , he showed a monumental ignorance of all things Spanish in his review of a tapas bar at the weekend. He was disappointed he couldn’t book a table to eat bar snacks, and then suggested ‘it was not so Spanish that you would want to pronounce Barcelona with a lisp’
apart from the fact that Catalans would not be too chuffed if you said the name of their city in a Castilian accent, the bar was called ‘Andaluz’, which is a different region entirely, and another part of Spain that does not speak with a Castilian lisp.
Ole (with milk)
It had never occurred to me to sell my own naming rights. Nice one, Search the Web on snap.com!
I don’t know how that happens, the Snap.com thing just keeps popping up
have you seen the Vote Confidence thing?
I saw an ad in the paper, and the smiley face made me think it was drug related, so I looked at the website
it is drug related in that it makes you want to get a stiff drink.
I have absolutely no idea what the purpose of this might be.
The Apostrophe Police have been called out to one of the slogans:
“success comes in cans, not cant’s”
if this is optimism, give me disgruntlement
Yes, that is bizarre, and slightly scary. Surely there’s some connection to religious fanatics somewhere, right?
Also, it’s kind of the opposite of what we do here.
It just seems so… pointless. It reminds me of those ‘good news papers’ that surface periodically (ha!), before people once again demonstrate they’d rather read about mayhem than ducklings.
it says it is backed by the media, and is aiming to raise consumer confidence,
I don’t know why the meadia and PR give a shit about consumer confidence, unless ad revenue and PR spending are being hit so bad by the GFC that they are hurting so bad they have resorted to mind altering chemicals to pretend it’s not happening.
so it seems that the message is:
“so what if you lost your job, just keep SHOPPING!”
I note PPR and the Post are absent, so we can’t rely on our usual sources
Man. Have you watched the video? Frightening.
No wonder some seem to have reservations about the mainstream media, if it’s spruiking shrill boosterism based in part on unidentified media releases.
Fortunately Perth Now has Ken Henry saying a new economic crisis is “possible”.
if only they had a voting button marled “Yes to Vibrancy”
Bitches gotta know when they’ve screwed up capitalization!
another Worst for the WA Police Force:
Saw an interesting truck in Highgate today, but didn’t have a camera on me. Thankfully a google search brought up:
Sod Squad: elite garden maintenance in Perth
I like it, Georgie, but they need a theme song, and a sound system for the rig.
This has to be a future worst:
the $1,000,000 piece of snot.
that truly was the worst of the finalists
it looks like a cancerous cactus.
I think my kids have got a piece of Duplo shaped like that.
I rather liked the loop-the-loop escalator:
“I hope people like it, but I also quietly hope that a few people don’t as it is ultimately more interesting when there’s some sort of challenge at hand,” Mr Angus said.
i think he’ll be quietly relieved then.
Mr. Angus is famous at the Art gallery of WA for his big pink giraffe:
it is made of plastic and rubber, which has since deteriorated badly, discoloured and started falling apart. It sits dejectedly in pieces in the underground storage room. After paying god knows how much to acquire it, the Gallery is now trying to raise funds to restore it, unless they have given up and binned it.
I liked his dayglo rhino, which was part of the festival a few years back:
It might just be the new format hiding him from me, but it looks like Sookie (and the rest of those plonkers) may have followed Patti Patti out the door at WAToday.
It seems the only TWAT survivor is Chalpat Sonti, aka the Taxi Driver.
Have they realised that Rattler is actually a crap writer ? :-)
Actually you can still access Daile Pepper’s Column at the top of the page and the link still shows the usual subjects, it just means the TWAT team are very well hidden under the opinion link.
If true, may I be the first to say …
You may only say that if they are dead, not just sacked.
no doubt they are tidying things up after La Chong left.
they changed the Opinion masthead some months ago and demoted Sattler, and now have revised it again after Chong failed. Sattler’s last few columns have been on autopilot – pensioners. pedos and muslims – I don’t think he can be arsed any more.
since none of their Perth based bloggers can muster more than ten posts between them, and most of what they do attract is just people bagging them, or that nutter from jarrahdale, they have probably finally realised it’s not worth the bother.
what’s the phrase that’s hip with the kids these days: epic fail?
surely that would only be a flatulent fail
So, will DFOC be donning the creams this weekend, I wonder?
No Perth to Bunbury Highway public art yet? The official site only shows the concrete-block overpass ‘art’, but further down the road (unshown on the wensite) there’s a stand of huge perforated shiny metal inverted cones with a moat around them. Just … there.
We whizzed past too fast, camera not in hand, but I’d like to see them getting some TWoP love. Time for a road trip?
I saw those things, and had a similar thought:
“what the fuck are they supposed to be, and why are they in that particular location?”
similarly I had no camera in hand
I haven’t had the pleasure of bypassing Mandurah yet.
something to savour i think, not to be rushed into.
From the mens bathroom at the Old Shanghai food hall in freo. I know the dude who writes in pink and all i ask is: what’s worse, regular graffiti artists? or Murdoch arts student graffiti artists? Also this same guy gets around fremantle writing ’6160′ in big curly pink letters
Roe Hwy extensions thru North and Bibra Lakes is the stoopidest idea to ever come from a dribbling Lib. Hows that for Perths Worst?
That and Perth drivers CANT bloody merge at speed!
I found this at the Vic, Subiaco. http://www.flickr.com/photos/mark_mcdonald/4123550964/in/set-72157622595524012/
Nice work Mark. When i first opened that shot it looked like it read “arouse her anal passions” and i thought to myself how progressive the Vic was. A tad disappointed but still an interesting idea.
The Circle of Life. Melbourne wants to be more like Perth.
A ban on bongs will reduce the harm to families… who makes this shit up?
I told you civilisation ended at Grand Prom. They’ve found a fucking bear</a) in Eden Hill.
Cockmonkeys. Link fail.
Left by those damned Hungarian pick-pocketing street entertainers, no doubt.
The same as these ones?
“In 1971, the British Empire lay in ruins. Foreigners frequented the streets, many of them Hungarians. Not the streets, the foreign nationals. Anyway…”
Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook
Definitely the SmartRider (DumbRider?) After all, anything that serves as a tracking device and overcharging device at the same time has got to be a bad idea for ordinary people… (I did the maths and a family of 4 living in Mandurah making 10 journeys to Perth a year will spend ~$130 more with SmartRider than FamilyRider each year – based on the cost of the extra adult DayRider and 2 concession DayRiders)
I found these while in jayjays in harbortown:
yes they say ‘i’ve been slimed’ on the crotch
a friend suggested i pass it to your site…
Mrs Bento and I are off to Raw Comedy at the Charles tonight, to support a very brave friend, if anyone is interested in seeing some amateur ‘comedy’. TLA, I assume you were approached to be the arbiter of fine comedy?
Do I know said very brave friend?
No, you don’t. But I’m going to heckle the fuck out of him.
I’m quite enjoying these Venn Diagrams.
I particularly liked the use of Comic Sans in ‘bad fonts’, and the fact that B&S are at the eye of a perfect storm of worst.
it could be enhanced even further – no mention of Cocos Palms, vibrancy, alsations or She-Ra
I dispute Chong’s inclusion in A-list, perhaps it could be named ‘Perthonality’, or ‘relentless self publicists, and include Basil and Barra
I agree some refinement is necessary. Cocos Palms and vibrancy are unforgivable omissions. Perhaps She-Ra would be an overlap of A-Listers and boozies.
That sounds like a good enough excuse for a gratuitous hawt She-Ra pic to me. Thanks, Bento.
and because i am at work and incredibly bored i will see you and raise you a gratuitous beaver shot! thanks snuff and bento!
As always, I bow to your supremacy, mp.
WARNING : NSFW
(Actually, I’d love to ease your boredom with picture ping pong, but I’ve got an Izakaya and then a Karaoke Bar to get to.)
I would love to know what’s on the Snuff karaoke hit parade.
I think I’ve said before, I have a vocal range of about 1/4 of an octave, so it’s nothing but Sing Star New Order and Pet Shop Boys for me.
The King and Johnny to get warmed up, Bento, and then anything goes.
Right, I’m outta here.
I was born a Black Sabbath “Paranoid” man and I’ll die a raw-throated MF.
Nice choice, Ljuke.
Karaoke is a harsh mistress. While we might be perfectly happy to listen to Mahler, Coltrane or Eno, what we sing in karaoke bars is another matter entirely.
Of course the first prerequisite is alcohol, and plenty of it. And being a social art, the most important criteria for song selection is that everybody knows the song, so that they can join in on the chorus, or at least do the gestures.
Not sure “Blank Frank” would go down that well at a Karaoke.
Perhaps not, WAtching.
This one, gents, done well, toward the end of the evening, will see you in like the proverbial.
next time snuffy, have a good time and thanks for thinking of me in my time of need:)
where exactly would you insert the vibrancy?
and how much overlap is there between vibrancy and ooshta?
I think the end result will be an important cultural artifact, perhaps to rival the Rosetta Stone. The whole of Perth culture and its interfaces in one graphic
Separating ooshta from vibrancy, is like separating Bree from Patti in the class stakes.
Your Diagram doesn’t explain Buckels, Winton and Elton- unless you are putting them under “General Stupidity.”
Where does Sea Shepherd fit in?
I would have thought General Stupidity would cover most things, and most of us
perhaps there should be a category of ‘finely honed stupidity’ for the likes of the Shepherd
Well I must admit I was disappointed to see that “catch-all” category…
And I believe like yourself, skinko, that they are unique and worthy worsts.
I think the category for Winton/Buckels/Sea Shepherd/Bono etc Should be “Self- Aggrandizing Activism” intersecting with “Saccharin Earnestness”
Duke – it appears the original link is broken, but rest assured I had you in a category with She-Ra, entitled ‘Unlikely Heroes’.
Speaking of Basiol, Yesterday as part of the 92.9 Breakfast team – he was involved with an Outside Broadcast from the Tree Man’s current abode to mark 60 day’s he’s been living there – and a bush band were performing a version of “Home Among The Gum Trees set to new lyrics – hope they don’t get sued for infringing copyright :-)
Here are the happy snaps –
Take 2. Any further refinements required?
quasi feminism. Perhaps in the red between irrational hatreds and ooshta.
A deliberate omission. There were a few of those.
Ok – Between arse/boozies/dongers and flange and rude words, how about Swingers?
Awesome. I love the two poles outlier
Hey – did one of youse delete my Venn Diagram???
ATTENTION all COMMENTERS.
DO NOT delete VENN diagrams
from this DISCUSSION board.
thank you for your co operation.
i hope that was posted with laminating intent shazza the amazing!
Most certainly mp.
By the way you guys:
Oh I’d say you’ve got nerd sewn up…
Testing File 1
apologies for opening up the impossibly long SUGGEST page but, an friend of mine in the industry tells me that the http://www.agric.wa.gov.au/PC_92637.html?s=1001
launch has begun. May I suggest a pre-emptive worst for logo, advertisement and logic.
“Buy West, Eat Best” well, shit on me now!
it is now my bedtime, goodnite.
The logo seems slightly familiar:
When will we ever get sick of sucking off SA?
Hmm a few logo issues here:
I know Dave, too much sauce dontcha’ think?
I noticed the other day Inside Cover (with Rob Broadfield) (TM) is having a comp asking readers to nominate the most pointless online surveys. Wouldn’t that be ‘all of them’? I assume the Westpoll on ‘Do you agree with Pauline Hanson?’ will be the hands-down winner.
Here’s an example of stellar Perth logo design:
(scroll down to the bottom for the logo)
Erm, have you been stuck in the mod queue for a day, Georgie?
In light of the recent earthquakes I’d have to suggest taking a look at the architecture that’s worst equipped to withstand a natural disaster.
Anyone know where you can get a bus fare from Perth to Darwin?
try asking everyone you meet on William St
13-06-2003, 12:00 AM
Join Date: Jan 2003
A friend of a friend was smutting this slag he met at the Gosnels tavern, they went outside to the carpark and she goes,
“I’m on me dirts at the moment but you can root me up the shitter if you want”
so he did.
in the carpark
up the arse of a menstruating woman whom he’d just met.
Gossies tav is where it’s at.
Paul McArtney? Reminds me of the NY tour guide who proudly showed us where ‘John Leonard’ was shot.
From Leonard’s Chickens?
No, you philistine. John Ilyich Leonard, the leader of the Bolsheviks.
Prince Leonard ?
No. I feel sure it was Leonard Fucking Outrage Cohen.
The only fowl thing I say is:
“A chicken in every journalist’s pot and a car in every actor’s garage.”
Chickens roosting in every journo’s old Sigma more likely.
would Perth journos be able to find said poultry even if it were right there in front of them?
“if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we’d better not say it’s a duck until the duck gives us an exclusive interview admitting that it is, after all, a duck.”
they are as good at chasing a story as WA Police are at chasing murder suspects.
“the duck said it was a chicken. It was wearing a cunning disguise and we fell for it. We printed that and now we have to deal with the lawyers”
I am now avoiding possible defamation by using tortured poultry metaphors
But I thought the duck was rooting the chicken?
Getting close to 1,500,000 I see. Any plans for festivities? I’m sure WAtching is gagging for a cold glass of Maison.
Nah.Maybe 2 million. 1.5 doesn’t sound so impressive anymore
don’t forget the swinging voters
Glimpsed a decrepit truly worst car yard in Midland a couple of nights ago, called “Dazza’s” or “Bazza’s”, with some truly inept signage. It was dark and I couldn’t stop. Don’t get out that way too often. A few hundred metres up east side of Great Northern Highway from the “New Midland” – all those government and Subiaco-type apartment buildings.
Replace the Union Flag of Great Britain( that which languishes in the top left of our Aussie flag) with a Welsh “Ddraig goch” or the Black Cross on Gold of Dewi Sant.
And while they’re at it, rolly, they could dump that girt by sea nonsense for something more appropriate.
Are you kidding? The ‘girt’ part is the only line I’d keep, if they asked me to write an alternative anthem.
They haven’t asked, yet. I think Telstra might’ve mixed up the numbers or something.
“Girt-by-Sea” always sounds a bit like a Pommy holiday destination.
Have you ever been to Lakeside Joondalup? Close your eyes and it sounds like a “Pommy holiday destination.”
I thought it was a Dutch politician:
I would like to know why Perth (the streets, buses, supermarkets, grass etc) smell like urine after it rains.
No, I am not a local.
Relax everyone – Shallow Spice is back! And she’s got the ooshta thing sorted. SORTED!
W’d'n it be nice, if Spice, went away to that place that she thinks is nice.
Do they sublet column writing out to activ industries at the Times now?
Reading that was brain sodomy Bents.
The only thing more tedious than hearing about other people’s dreams, is hearing their opinion on why Perth should be more like [insert city they've just been to].
this week Daile has entertained us with her story entitled: ‘what I did on my holidays. New York is so, like, awesome.’
next week she will be writing about what she wants to be when she grows up.
When Daile grows up, she would like to be taken seriously.
Whatever happened to those good ol’ days when gerbalists covered the big stories ?
I spent the weekend in Bunbury. Which was nice.
Perth could be a lot like New York… if another 7 million people turn up.
…and allowed a few of centuries of uninhibited commercial chicanery.
… and if it was on an island.
Ah yes, Girt-ittude. Another reason Perth will never be like NYC.
And since when was this any kind of news at all? Just a way to get drinks at the Luxe on an expense account?!? I weep for journalism
I like tha fact that on my photobucket stats, i can see there are people viewing some of my photos on a site called ‘pinkcunt4u.com.’ Now before you jump to conclusions about my photos, maybe i should point out that it is this they’re looking at.
I *adore* that discrimination against men dude. You should just see the theatrical eye-roll I give him every time I walk past. He cannot respond. It’s fun.
Poor down trodden man. And you’re just rubbing it in…
Slip the sook some Sanativo next time, JaneZ.
He looks terribly put upon doesnt he.
Wonder if he remembered to pay his confraternity fees?
He IS the Confraternity!
I’m pretty sure he’s the only member. Mike Ward- take a bow.
I have wondered if it’s him. I don’t suppose you can have a single-membered “confraternity” though. An unifraternity perhaps?
oh, i think the ‘con’ part should be left in.
the problem was that the ‘cunt’ part was left out.
Was, Watching, was. As poor lisa mentioned here, Men’s Confraternity no longer exists, and even its website has disappeared. Cue Bento.
But a chunk of it is preserved here.
Well done, that man.
I have also wondered whether Mike Ward and someone else – whom I gather we can’t name, but a local nutjob of many years’ standing, a certain “Ray” of sunshine, know each other or even, just possibly, are the same person. It does seem to be a Perth phenomenon to breed, and harbour, adult male lunatics of this particular variety. The best the eastern states can do in that regard seems to be Harold Scruby of the Pedestrian Council.
All I can say is that they locked up the wrong “Mr Ward.”
gold, waaa-kching, gold!
You can Con the people until they become utter Derrs
Oh N ough already!
Nice work team. Our work is done.
Inglewood internet shop guy, weird poster guy, Dr Peter Harries phd, Greg Heoey, Mike Ward, Jack van racist, Troy Buswell. Boyee we breed em over here.
Flight Attendant : I’m sorry, sir, but when we asked if there was a doctor aboard, raconteuring about Max Kay wasn’t quite what we had in mind.
Passenger suffering heart attack : Please, let me die. Please.
I understood that scientists had demonstrated that, statistically speaking, you would have to wait many times the predicted lifespan of the universe for the words “Max Kay” and “Raconteur” to appear in the same sentence. Even by chance.
Clearly I misunderstood.
I heard that name in the same sentence as ‘pink triangle of control’ the other day… it’s a scary world
With today’s technology, Para, anything is possible.
Hmm…has a whiff of onion to me, Snuffmeister…
Perhaps so, DFOC, but these two are legit. When might we have the pleasure of being crushed like bugs, by the way ?
Ha ha I had Max Kay in my initial comment.
Two suggestions from the Albany Hwy Cannington, which my shitty phonecam will never do justice – Brian ‘Don’t Pay Thru The Nose’ Gardner’s Holden eyestore and The Manila Restaurant which I am seriously considering booking for my birthday this year
You have to admit though, that gerbil on a stick with rice looks pretty damned inviting.
Listen up Chumbies, we need some nostaglia crap Perth. Okay, it’s crap as it is, but classic crap is always better isn’t it? We need to find some those god awful Chicken Treat ads from mid 80s. I’m looking right now.
“Whacko the Diddleyo…Chicken….Chicken Treat”. Let’s face it, nothing gets worse than that.
Frank’s probably your man there, hfp. A cursory glance turned up this. Personally, I much prefer this.
I hope that chicken died quickly, although I doubt with a smile on its beak. Meanwhile, NHS dental looks up to its usual standards.
I’d swap places with it anytime, hfp. I love that woman’s voice.
But Snuff, that voice must first percolate over those teeth!!!!!! We must assume, for the aforementioned chicken to enjoy the coital act, that she is possessed of some strap-on man member. Whatever turns ya crank on yer 63 ‘EH Holden I says, but not when it comes at you with nasty, gingivitis ridden and yellowing toothies…
I hear ya, hfp, but how that voice gets there is not my concern, so long as it does. In my innocence, I only imagined fine feathered frottage, but if your assumption is correct, then yes, I’d have to reconsider.
The worst call centres mostly Idian.
do you have a cold or something?
Or just an indiot.
Their Eglish is terrible.
And don’t get me started on those Bulgarian call centres !
Whoever they are, they are very idiomatic. They’re on the blower , and first thing they ask is ” Got a root lately ?”
How about covering Western Australia’s passion for the personalised numberplate? Nowhere else in the country are people as obsessed with them as in the west. From the haunting “Damonic” to the plain disturbing “Chers Car” which I spotted yesterday. Both on V8 Commodores. Who would have thought? Cheers
Numerous plates have been worsted here Keir
Pissring the world!
How about the Worst of Perth Comedy/Comedians?
It’d be a tough one because, let’s face it, they’re all pretty fucking awful.
But for those special souls who just get up on stage time and time again with the same dreadful, tired, hack material only because at most venues the crowds are too apathetic or aren’t allowed to heckle and everyone else in the scene is too much of a pussy to tell them they are shit.
My nomination starts with Andrew Bell who for some reason thinks yelling a lot and getting his frothy-mouth-flecks-of-spit on is a tremendously funny thing to do.
There’s that Andrew McDonald cunt as well. Set up some website purporting to be funny a few years back, but really just a haven for tired, cynical, mostly unfunny, left-wing hacks.
Oh yeah! Dude be the worst! Maybe it’s an “Andrew” thing?
Gotta love the left-winger commie hacks. Pinkos only use hack material as they think it’s been used SO much it can’t possibly be that offensive (left-wingers want to be everyone’s friend), but it offends my comedy-enjoying sensibilities enough to wish all sorts of hateful, cancershit on them all forever.
That’s a nice one-eyed heap of crap, Ricky boy,
Seems like I’ve heard it a few times before, too.
Many many times.
Uh yeah hello! Do I type with a fucking stutter?
That was kinda, sorta the entire point of the Perth comedy scene being shitballs…. The whole being “Boring” thing.
If this post is so boring, I’ll let you get back to being a Hollywood surf-champion and world’s strongest millionaire, dipshit.
Wow. Rick Masters as the (unintentional) saviour of Perth comedy?
I witnessed some comedy on TV recently, it was some Canadian shit with heaps of Australian comedians present and every single one of them told an anecdote about a handicapped person ‘having a go’ that ended in some cringingly awful pun about missing limbs(not exaggerating, they all did this). Julia Morris was being touted as the greatest undiscovered talent in the world or something, and in her case it was a story about a girl with no arms having a go on a TV show she watched IN THE SIXTIES. Who goes to watch live comedy anyway. I dunno maybe Andrew McDonald is OK but seriously standups are so asinine as a rule that even if I find myself laughing it’s tainted by waves of resentment and self-recrimination. But I guess they’re out there doing something worthwhile and contributing to events in our community and generally being vibrant so who are we to snipe from our dimly-lit hovels
by contrast Whoopi Goldberg the queen of comedy was all like ‘My grandson, he so cute’ (titters) ‘I taught him to say filthy words’ (all the drunks begin to laugh in anticipation) ‘Yeah he knows the word for you-know-what’ (peals of laughter from all) ‘He knows the word for – you know’ (constant laughter as this joke repeats for 2 minutes)
the Perth scene, left or not, can’t be much worse. I hear the left-wing poetry scene is pretty bad though…
The left wing poetry scene IS the new comedy scene (albeit unintentional).
it’s all haiku
ugh, how retarded
I bet it’s all delivered
You get extra scene points for taping up your mouth and crying at the end…..
either that or blowing out a scented candle.
I hear that a lot of bogan porn freaks are roped into attending leftwing poetry nights, due to the unusually high content of “lesbian issues” that are dealt with.
Too true! But unfortunately for them (and everyone else by proxy) the “lesbian” content is of the Rosie O’Donnell variety and the “issues” are the “fucked by a drunken uncle” variety.
heh. Could be combined into a fucked by rosie odonnell haiku.
Oh shit! It’s a wet nightmare come true!
Well JJ, I go to live comedy on the off chance I might catch sometime worth a giggle or two.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a (keeping in tune with your last post) thalydomide-sized handful of comedians who can cut the mustard and they are fucking good.
But for the most part, all the “stars of the Perth scene” have acts that are more than 2 years old and they weren’t particularly funny when they first told them.
I read that a bunch of Perth comics just went to Edinborough recently to try to “make it” in stand-up. From what I’ve seen of their acts all they’ll be making are beds in hotels or ultimate burger meals for lazy, over-rated slobs like themselves.
Oh yeah and Whoopi Goldberg’s career began at “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” and ended at “Burglar”. The left wing poetry scene is pretty happenin’ but it’s gots nothin’s on the left-wing scatjazz poetry scene.
The right-wing Perth comedy scene is ok I guess. They seem hung-up on irony. That and bitchin they didnt get to Edinboro
There’s a Right-Wing comedy scene!? Is there a warning on the door to the comedy room that says: “Laugh or be crushed!!”?
I should think they’d be far more concerned dominating the world through comedy than worry about a buncha hacks halfway around the world.
Using your logic, all comedians are by definition ‘lefty’. That’s a brilliant debating tactic, with one small drawback.
By using YOUR logic all comedians want to take over the world (?)
That’s a brilliant debating tactic, with one small drawback.
What? That link was not even cogent to what I was talking about?
No fucking shit!
How about you make sense “orbea” destroyed! (see what I did there? Yeah!)
P.S. This isn’t a debate you fucking scratch’n'sniff, worthless, stinking cunt :D
This is the best thread eva!
Patti Patti and Bree ‘Classy’ Maddox – come back, all is forgiven.
Our A-List needs you!
A look at the gallery will be worth your visit. Who the fuck is Rider Strong? And why are there 6 photos of him? And why is he wearing jeans to the theatre?
I believe Rider Strong is the co-star of the show, unless there is some other reason he was photographed lurking behind Jerry Hall’s bed naked.
his name sounds more like a porn star
my friend was at that gig and sent me of a photo of her and Jerry Hall together. Apparently the Bonds and Forrests were pissing themselves with excitement at having a real genuine A-list celeb in Perth, although if she is traipsing around provincial theatres in her underwear with an unknown actor then perhaps her star has waned. You can imagine them all trying to get Jerry to come to their parties.
you bastard, now I have a mental image of Julie Bishop as Mrs Robinson:
‘would you like me to seduce you?’
or more pertinently:
“Do you have a special grudge against me? Do you feel a particularly strong resentment? Is there something I’ve said that’s caused this contempt, or is it just things I stand for that you despise?”
Rider Strong is Hall’s co-star, and I think a more serious question is as to why “Eileen Bond [is] wearing a biker-looking Givenchy gold-studded leather jacket”. How did Daile write that with a straight face? Is “a whack of star wattage” a mixed metaphor?
perhaps she meant ‘whack-off frottage’
Now I’m picturing Julie Bishop in the broom cupboard in a blue dress.
with Twiggy Forrest sucking on an oxygen mask, dry humping her leg, and squealing ‘Baby wants to fuck’ ?
I was pleased to see Jon English back in the fold. Where has he been lurking?
is there a riff starting here of iconic movies recast with Perthonalities?
I’d like to see ‘In Bruges’ remade, with Troy Buswell and Max Kay starring as bumbling hitmen lying low ‘In Bunbury’
“Maybe that’s what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bunbury.”
‘it’s a shithole. Even midgets have to take drugs to stick it.’
Frank and Rbl in a re-make of ‘The Odd Couple?’
Daille Spice and Paul Murray in a re-make of ‘When Harry Met Sally?”
‘I’ll have what she’s having…’
I’ll shove what she’s shoving.
Speaking of shoving, the Inseminators poster was out by this time last year. Have they been defeated by city smartarse mockery?