Muzz Buzz in South Perth. Apparently chalked without irony. Submitted by Zoot Finster. I assume the cappucino foam frother was silenced for 2 minutes as well. And does that poppy have a touch of the Tiny Pinders about it? 
Worst Talk
paulie48406 on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! Anonymous on Pizza Showtime! AHC McDonald on Pulling Off Trucks AHC McDonald on Alexander The Great’s… Anonymous on Alexander The Great’s… AHC McDonald on Private Dancer Anonymous on Private Dancer Anonymous on Private Dancer Anonymous on Private Dancer Anonymous on Is Australian Silo Art Ra… Anonymous on Pulling Off Trucks Anonymous on Rap Mobile Online Now
The Asia Beat- Museum of Winds Opens
- Vagina Steaming to go on despite diarrhea outbreak.
- Dog movie “racist”.
- Liquid food blogger enrages Sing. Chef
- Sushi Train Wreck
- Snake of the year spat turns nasty
- Aussie icon may cure sick
- Singapore admits, “National Service all about shooting Malaysians.”
- Asian firm sparks “wife beater” brawl.
- Actors protest over MH370 delay
The Worst of Perth 
I hate it when I forget my Blueberry muffin and latte.
LikeLike
They could at least have gone with “trench foot latte” or similar.
LikeLike
an Anzac Short Black?
LikeLike
a Gallipoccino?
LikeLike
I’d assumed it was orange and poppyseed.
LikeLike
shell-shocked hot choc.
LikeLike
And of course some sweet turkish coffee
LikeLike
Long Mactanino?
LikeLike
wouldn’t that be a Long Tan Long Mac?
LikeLike
Make mine a Gallipolatte, please.
LikeLike
At the expiry of the Best Before date, and in the mornings, we will remember them.
LikeLike
Oh
That’s what all the fighting was for…
LikeLike
Dulce et decorum est pro patria edi
LikeLike
I didn’t give the cold steel to Johnny Turk so I could have coffee and muffin specials for more than $5.
Outrage.
LikeLike
Ah, Muzz Buzz. My nemesis. I went there one day and was greeted by this: “What can I get for you bad Katz?” I could tell by the tone of his voice that he’d spellt cats with a K and a Z. Anyway, you know they put straws in your coffee? Fucking straws. In fucking coffee.
Me: “Can I have it without a straw please?”
Muzz Buzz Kat: “Sorry, but we have to put the straws in.”
Me (disbelieving): “What?”
MBK: “Yeah. Store policy. We have to put straws in every coffee.”
They should know not to piss off a person before they’ve had their coffee. It’s inhumane.
LikeLike
Similar story in a trez VAG pub here in BunVegas.
Any female who orders a drink receives said straw, apparently to ensure the glasses remain lipstick free. Chainge Daile, being frugal and shameless, orders two jugs (jugs, not shakers, shakers reek of trendiness) of Illusions (2 for $10 in Happy Hour, caloo, calay) and recieves both, not with shot glasses as nature intended, but with straws perched precariously in their green seas of inebriation.
LikeLike
Didn’t they just float and then fall over the side?
LikeLike
No, but i drank out the jug just to piss them off.
LikeLike
Mintox!
LikeLike
I got skunted for it.
we updated mintox. it’s now Cuntox.
LikeLike
I think that is my new favourite word. Wonderful. Or should that be, cuntox!
LikeLike
Spread the joy. Use it in a conversation at the water fountain.
“Did you see muffin and a latte are only $7 at Muzz Buzz? That’s well cuntox!”
LikeLike
Being a stay at home mum these days I miss the water cooler conversations.
My usage will be more,
“Mummy, mummy, look at my drawing”
“Yes darling that is absolutely cuntox”.
LikeLike
Dear Shazza
I suggest you have a look at the
Keith Urban Dictionary explanation of cuntox before using in reference to the little ones.
Regards R
LikeLike
Thanks for the tip Richarbl.
LikeLike
may I suggest “quincunx”
an entirely innocent word
LikeLike
I think I’ll revert to good. It’s about the only word that appears safe from corruption. And it’s got a nice woody sound.
LikeLike
Cunctatious is a good one. It means prone to being late so can be applied appropriately to many a situation.
LikeLike
Shakers of Illusions stopped reeking of trendiness in March 1994.
LikeLike
um, i live in BunVegas. We have a giant milkcarton for a landmark. Also, a massive purple phallic tower.
1994 is the height of cool here. I’m currently attired in a Hypercolour T-shirt, MC Hammer pants and have a prickle fringe styled with glitter gel.
LikeLike
Man, that sounds like heaven to me. You should start buying Red Stripe – you’ll be the heppest cat in town.
I saw MC Hammer on sunrise yesterday, and was pleased to learn he advises CEOs of major corporations on business strategy. Surely Armageddon is nigh.
LikeLike
I do believe the sentence after the one that predicted the coming of the Anti-Christ was ‘and lo, U Can’t Touch This’.
LikeLike
Beaten by brevity.
LikeLike
Matthew 24 I believe,
Now as He sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying: “Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?” And Jesus answered and said to them: “Take heed that no one deceives you. For many will come in My name, saying, “You can’t touch this”
LikeLike
When he was a child and he acted up before getting ready for bed, MC Hammer’s parents admonished him with the word’s “Stop, pyjama time!”.
LikeLike
LikeLike
fuck, broken link
try again
LikeLike
oh bugger
LikeLike
Maybe this?
LikeLike
i have that on my pin-up board here at work. next to my ‘i think, therefore you is’ poster and ‘i’m not as stupid as you look’. *pick the happy WAN employee desk*
LikeLike
Or this?
LikeLike
I reckon that german dude has had enough caffiene!
LikeLike
… or maybe this ?
LikeLike
2 Jugs of Illusion for 10 dollars? Sounds like a breech of the liqour licensing guidelines. Tisk tisk trez vag.
LikeLike
This was a few years back. So, given the time zone differential, if today is 1994, this was 1989.
LikeLike
Ah yes, I still have clear memories of the GWN adds of the period. Village carpet care, Lord Forrest Hotel and that obviously criminal proprietor of Bunbury Toyota.
LikeLike
They still use that carpet cleaning ad. They just re-recorded it so the number is now 97911432, those extra two digits really throw the whole mitre of the song out though. Damn Telstra for ruining a classic tune with their area codes.
LikeLike
Do they still have 80’s puffy mullets and mo’s?
LikeLike
It’s the same footage of them, in the Lord Forrest, just with a re-recorded jingle.
Ahhh, BunVegas…. This Is Where We Live…. possibly the most truthful yet depressing advertising campaign ever deisgned for a city.
LikeLike
According to my sources:
One Illusions =
25 ml vodka
25 ml Malibu
15 ml Blue Curacao
15 ml Midori
50 ml orange juice
My stomach whimpers just looking at those ingredients. You’d have to be quite young to quaff a jug of that.
LikeLike
Orange juice? I always thought it was pineapple juice. Either way they were always too easy to drink.
LikeLike
i’m afraid i’ve never been able to drink anything that looked like a blue loo cleanser.
50ml of orange juice seems like tokenism.
LikeLike
Iv’e gone and got my Illusions mixed up with some other Midori/juice/shaker cocktail. Without the juice they would all be rocket fuel.
LikeLike
i’m just thinking 50ml is not enough to mask the rocket fuel taste.
LikeLike
50 mils will just do the job if youv’e already knocked back a few West Coast Coolers.
LikeLike
with ya shazz.
perhaps it should be illusions at the twop drinks party?
LikeLike
Illusions of Grandeur?
LikeLike
i’m liking it.
LikeLike
Put me down for 7 of those.
LikeLike
parenting slowing you down?
LikeLike
Mine were always Green. They tasted like strong language, bad music and regret as far as i remember.
LikeLike
Well that was the eighties for you.
If anyone feels maudlin for the music of this regretful decade you only have to tune into Mix 94.5 to slip into the warm clutches of nostalgia.
LikeLike
And thats ok, its more an observation rather than a criticism.
LikeLike
That is poetry.
LikeLike
Or Winton.
Sorry CD.
LikeLike
Gosh dang it all to heck. Looks like i imbibed some of his prosey wankiness by proximity in the class at ECU all those years ago. Excuse me while i now go dig my own grave.
LikeLike
What does VAG mean ? Also, chaingedaile, only if you feel like sharing, how did the rest of the evening pan out for you and your friend, after you’d knocked these back ?
LikeLike
Vibrant And Gay, although Gay has recently been replaced by Goant cause we’re always up for the New (note capital N) around here.
I vaguely remember thinking it was was grand idea later that evening to attend BunVegas’s one and only nightclub, Exit. Yes Exit. The club whose name inspires your next move once you enter.
LikeLike
Let us be Vibrant at the Majestic Theatre, a year before it was rebuilt as the beautiful deco Plaza in 1937.
LikeLike
Are you getting those shots from that wonderful face book group Snuff?
LikeLike
The Plaza one is from there, shaz, but the Majestic is from the SLWA.
LikeLike
I betcha that stems from the infamous case in the USA when some NIMROD burnt themselves when they spilt a piping hot coffee down their front. Maccas, IIRC.
Oh yeah. They sued. I almost hit “Submit Comment” without adding that very important bit.
LikeLike
And forever immortalised in Seinfeld
LikeLike
But that would imply that you can’t burn yourself when using a straw. I have proved this theory wrong.
LikeLike
We would like to have a word.
LikeLike
Colin Barnett says: “fuck Tiger Woods, we’ve got the Busselton Ironman.”
http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/never-mind-tiger–weve-got-the-whole-safari-20091111-i9s8.html?autostart=1
LikeLike
Motor sports are our favourite? We really are a city of bogans. The occasional metrocentric being the exception.
What about the Margaret River classic and World Pro? For the surfing bogans.
LikeLike
water bogans
[normally reserved for speed boat and jet ski users, but you have my permission to use it for surfers]
LikeLike
I think it was PJ O’Roarke that noted that the richer you are, the slower your boat.
LikeLike
PJ O’Rourke? You right wing bastard, piss off. You’re type are not welcome here.
LikeLike
I call FOWF apostrifrication.
LikeLike
CRAP. Your right.
I’m out.
LikeLike
Wow. Such inspired presentation. The urge to go inside is almost overwhelming.
LikeLike
Forget means dont buy it.
LikeLike
“Forget” means don’t buy it.
LikeLike
Pingback: Outrage Sunday 116 supreemo | The Worst of Perth