Apostle of The “Phre”

I’m surprised there hasn’t been more finger pointing at the use of the apostrophe in this town. Crankynick who sparked off the long and winding road of comments in Atomised also sent me ITN Photographic’s which I’m just getting to months later. Let me also throw Guppy’s to Puppy’s into the mix and perhaps we can get every apostrophe pedant righteously and rightfully enraged. Why are these apostrophes there? Isn’t it more more work for the signwriter?

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About The Lazy Aussie

A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in vanished worst, worst graphic design, worst sign, worst spelling and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

55 Responses to Apostle of The “Phre”

  1. Nettie says:

    Oh dear. Dear, dear me. What complete and utter morons.
    Or should that be moron’s? ;-)

  2. Nettie says:

    Yay, my av is finally showing up!

  3. skink says:

    I believe that the correct term for this, according to Lynn Truss, is the “grocer’s apostrophe” – since it used to be commonly seen on their handwritten signs: “Potato’s $1 a kilo”, or whatever.

  4. flynn says:

    Should that be “grocers’ apostrophe” for their hand written signs?

  5. skink says:

    I guess it should be “his handwritten signs”

    petard? hoisted? me?

  6. Golden1 says:

    The Guppy and Puppy are laughing to hide their embarrassment.

  7. Rolly says:

    It’s (its) all about your (you’re, [yaw]{yore}) and their (there, they’re) (etc. ad infinitum, ad nauseum,) lack of attention to the detail of this fascinating but otherwise completely frustrating hotch-potch of a language that we loosely refer to as English.
    Pity the poor dyslectic, the ADHD case, the memory impaired, the law student and most of all the foreigner attempting to learn the lingo as a matter of necessity.
    The dictionary on my computer is in constant use and frequently argued with, especially when its British/Australian bias disagrees with the USA based spell-check and my origins as a traditionally taught “oldie” raised in the Welsh countryside where puritanism in all things reigned supreme and where the ability to construct long sentences containing few words of less than three syllables was considered “well educated”.
    A case of “Blame the sin, not the sinner” ???

  8. Rage says:

    File under: Worst grammar.

    MY GOD. Guppy’s to Puppy’s is my nemesis, so thanks to whomever sent in the photo. Not only is there unnecessary apostrophe (poor little apostrophe, he’s been through so much), but it’s misspelt. Guppies to Puppies, morons! The only way I could dislike this business more would be if they built the shop front from glass bricks.

    Also, ITN photographic’s? SRSLYL0LZ? I don’t think I’d ever trust a business that doesn’t bother running a spell check over it’s name.

    Death, death to all of the hideous misspellers!

  9. mazarina says:

    I’m with you Rage. This form of illiteracy makes me want to crawl into a cave and retreat from humanity.

  10. Martin says:

    I agree with Flynn, my favourite grocers signs are the ones that read:

    “Fresh!”
    “Natural!”
    “Tasty!”

    Etc, etc.

  11. Juffy says:

    I wonder how many people have gone into Guppy’s to Puppy’s to rant at the poor salespeople about their boss’ grammatical incompetence. I know I feel like it every time I drive past it.

  12. cimbali says:

    I know I am going to be howled down but here goes…
    I don’t care about the apostrophe! I think it should be banned. The point of language is for us to communicate with each other and there is no reason to have ridiculous rules that people have trouble keeping to. As long as we understand each other who cares – I mean it is perfectly clear that this is a business owned by Mr Guppy and Mr Puppy.

  13. poor lisa says:

    Never mind the apostrophe’s. The really bad thing is that Im pretty sure they do’nt even sell puppy’s, or kitten’s for that matter. They only sell fishe’s and crazy crab’s.

    Anyhow how do you know its not gramatically correct in it’s own terms? It could be some coded message with invisible words that only guppies and puppies can detect. The Christadelphian Assembly Hall is only a couple of doors away after all, and that always has some incomprehensible data from outer space on it’s noticeboard.

    I think it really say’s:
    ‘….[from] guppy’s [galactic rowboat] to puppy’s [memorybank]‘
    but we aren’t the right specie’s to read it.

    cc: Kirk Cameron

  14. Oh shit, yes, I need to get a shot of that crackpot sign.

  15. poor lisa says:

    Lots of them cos it’s different every week…. You do gotta commend them for changing it without fail every week since 1975, which is when I first noticed it.

  16. erinstark says:

    Whenever I see this store (which is pretty much every day), I’m reminded of TWOP. About time it got a mention!

    Speaking of completely inappropriate use of the apostrophe, though, my partner’s name is Rhys – and people often write it Rhy’s.

    Rhy’s? I mean, come on, honestly…

  17. Adam says:

    The puppy looks like it’s about to jump at me and root my leg.

    Oh, and it’s nice to know I’m not alone on my Grammar Quest™.

  18. crankynick says:

    The worst thing about ITN is that they have a sign in the window, in which they’ve got it right.

    I dunno why they don’t just get up there with a tin of black paint and fix the bloody thing,

  19. Rage says:

    Cimbali… I’m not sure if we can be friends anymore.

  20. Pierre says:

    I can almost forgive the pet store sign (for the record, the last time I was there, they had puppies for sale). Perhaps said store was once owned by a fish. Upon it’s death, ownership may have transferred to a young canine. Hence, Guppy’s to Puppy’s. The photo store, on the other hand, is just rubbish.

    PS: Did you spot my errant apostrophe?

  21. Devnull says:

    What. The. Fuck.

  22. SkyLantern says:

    Guppy’s To Puppy’s? Maybe the fish gave the dog a bone ;-)

  23. Bobbi-lee says:

    Yay, I have been waiting to see Guppy’s to Puppy’s on here, I just couldn’t be bothered taking a pic and sending it in myself. It is one of my biggest pet peeves when I drive past it every day!

  24. cimbali says:

    Sorry rage – didn’t mean to offend you. It’s not that I think you should be worrying about more important matters coz I have many petty little hates.
    However I don’t see the logic behind using the same piece of punctuation to denote ownership and a contraction. I also don’t see why an “S” sound at the end of a word should mean ownership as well as pluralization. It is just plain confusing and should be changed.
    I think it may be a tool that the upper classes invented so that they could laugh at the hand written signs of peasants!

  25. zdave says:

    I took the bus past Guppy’s to Puppy’s for five years and it never stopped being like nails on a chalkboard.

  26. Confused Texan says:

    Why is it that so many of the things I point out to my partner and say something like “that’s a cute fish”, “did I hear that right” or “we sure ain’t in Kansas anymore” turn up in TWOP?

  27. Rolly says:

    @26 C T

    Interesting, isn’t it, to observe that there actually are folk who notice things that are going on around them.
    Mostly people go around absorbed in their personal worlds almost oblivious of external matters.
    It says something about the cosmopolitan nature of the WA populus.

  28. I knew this post would be popular.

  29. Rage says:

    @Cimbali: It’s OK. As long as you’re not the owner of this business, (or any other the others on TWOP, really) no offence has been taken. My boyfriend tried to use that same line of reasoning with less eloquence until I smashed my wine glass on his fac… I mean, threw my red wine at his face and accidentally cut his lip. Could happen to anyone.

    (I’m that person that will go out of my way to walk into your store to inform you of your spelling or grammatical errors. The English language may be confusing, but it is my language, and I will protect her with all of my might.)

  30. mazarina says:

    I have a love-hate relationship with the English language. Sure it’s a bastardised hotch potch of various languages poorly stitched together (think Latin, Greek, French, and German just for starters) in the most confusing possible way, but the least people can do is TRY to follow the basic rules of grammar to enable communication. I blame the YWLs. Rant over.

  31. cimbali says:

    Good on you rage.
    No I don’t own that business I am too busy minding other peoples really!
    Re: (I’m that person that will go out of my way to walk into your store to inform you of your spelling or grammatical errors. The English language may be confusing, but it is my language, and I will protect her with all of my might.)
    I am that person who tells blonde bimbos in gift shops to get off the phone and serve me. I also accosted a shop lifter and forced him to hand back the stolen goods so I think you and I would get on well together.
    Let our powers combine!

  32. cybill says:

    Thank goodness, Guppys to Puppys (add your own damned apostrophes) is open 7 days – the amount of times I have needed a guppy at 11am on a Sunday and been unable to procure one – all is good now

  33. Rage says:

    Cimb: …Captain Planet?

  34. skink says:

    cimbali @ 25

    this language of ours is annoying, isn’t it, with its tricky punctuation and irritating spelling? If only we could be rid of all the through/enough/cough/bough/slough confusion.

    why not develop a revised language free of such difficulty, which would remove ambiguity and restrict creative expression

    you could call it Newspeak – it would be doubleplusgood

  35. Rolly says:

    Esperanto, skink ?????

  36. cimbali says:

    Captain planet indeed rage.
    Earth!
    Fire!
    Wind!
    Water!
    Heart!
    the power is yours

  37. Rage says:

    Apostrophe!
    Misplaced Anger!

  38. Lauren says:

    I used to frequent sunny old Fremantle town and found an inappropriate apostrophe at “The Piercing Place’s”.
    This’ angers’ and infuriate’s me!

  39. Guppy’s about to join the ghost army of vanished worsts. Closed down.

  40. Guppy’s now painted over. It’s gone to join the Maracoonda in hell.

  41. ronggly says:

    Sad.
    Did this place used to be Wet Pets on Canning Hwy, Vic Park ?

  42. Candy says:

    No offense but if you all have time to knock back other people’s businesses then I suggest that you all better get a life, seriously! Or create your own buisiness and see that sites like these with people as nasty as this are plain ANNOYING! (See how I have put ANNOYING in capitals…)
    Now can any of you tell me what career you have? How hard do you actually work if you have time to go on sites like this to write nasty things…
    As a matter of fact the owner of ITN told me that his signwriter made the mistake, so tell me why this business should be punished for a mistake that wasn’t even their fault???

    • Snuff says:

      No offense, Candy, but if you have time to knock back other people’s websites then I suggest you better get a life, seriously! How hard do you actually work if you have time to go on sites like this to write nasty things…

    • WAtching says:

      Kudo’s, Candy, Kudo’s.

      Get a life…tick.
      Get a job… tick
      Miss the point…tick.

      That’s a full house.

    • Bento says:

      Hi Candy – be sure to mention to the owner of ITN that you thoughtfully reminded everyone of the error in the sign, which has not been at issue for more than 2 years.

      And I claim my $5.

    • rolly says:

      Candy, mind your own business and get your own business a bit more business-like.
      That signwriting was an insult to anyone with a hint of aestheticism.
      Pots and Kettles again.
      Since when has working hard, as opposed to working intelligently at something of merit, been of any value other than to keep the stupid too busy to actually do any harm?
      Petty, petty, petty.

    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      No offense, but fuck off.

  43. The Legend 101 says:

    Is that pet shop on Grand Prom near the railway, Looks very famillar.

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