In the 1980’s, there used to be many businesses – carpet and furniture floggers mostly, who used to add a christian fish to their signs. Now it seems to be down to this last couple of botherers on Great Eastern Highway Midland. The practice makes me shudder with revulsion. To compound the signage horror, there has also been a highly ill advised addition of photographs. Get thee behind me Jesus freak bed sellers, and get yourself a secular graphic designer – preferably an atheist. There should be a separation of powers between Church and Bed.
—————————————————–
And elsewhere in Old Town Midland
I have been hearing so much about the redevelopment of central Midland, that I thought I may have missed my chance to capture some good Worst. I hadn’t. It was a tatty shithole with the ambiance of a drunken knife fight. Loved the station/Centrepoint precinct. Uggh. Expect posts from that area over the next few weeks.
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
The Worst of Perth 
and the fish doesn’t know which way to swim?
LikeLike
Don’t be too down on Midland. The tacky god-botherers have several stores with nearly identical signage all over the place. There was one in Nedlands until very recently, in the heart of inner Western suburbs snobbery.
LikeLike
I was more referring to the centre of town near the station for my later comments. The Beds Plus was actually a bit further up the road in an ugly but less malevolent area.
LikeLike
I have to agree with LA regarding Midland. I lived there for 3 years right at the beginning of the alleged redevolopment. So far all I can see that is new is a police station (quite a large one too) and some new shops where Centrelink and a carpark used to be. I also noticed that they had made two oneway streets into two way and inflicted some Liquid Amber trees on to the Main Street.
whoooo-Hooo!
Midland was an entirely un-cultured place run by the local chamber of commerce whose Chair was the owner of the gun shop – and wanted to keep thangs just the way they were…
Midland was actually a far freindlier place after hours because all the shop owners shut a 5:30 and went home to Lesmurdie.
LikeLike
Yeah these Beds Plus devils have been around for years. They have a store in City West too. If you want a good laugh, check out some of the ads they have on TV from time to time. They use South Park style “animation” to make them jump around like a couple of fun-loving larks, contrary to the conservative secular image they put out there with that ridiculous f*cking fish. Drives me insane.
LikeLike
The mug shot on the signs are almost as disturbing as the underlying suggestion that it’s best to do business with people of the same faith. No pre-marital beds for sale here… (The son is in serious need of a recolour. He looks like my late aunty Florrie.)
LikeLike
I’ve always wondered what on earth posessed these people to put such horrifying photographs of themselves on the front of all their shops AND tv ads.
The guy on the left isn’t so bad, but on the right, OH MY GOD! Can you fake that smile any harder? and hey, even the old guys hairline is less receeding ;) “Oh my, i’m losing all my hair, i best brush it back in a dye-blonde (WTF) so that every one can see how bald im going”
Ferrall? i was thinking more like feral!
Is it actually a fish? or is the all-seeing-eye of the lord himself? I wish he’d help them see to getting some new photos.
Ohh i could go on and on for hours, i’m glad you finally pointed the target their way.
LikeLike
They keep doing it this way because it brings in the punters. Now that’s a real worry.
LikeLike
The Ferals : can I have my fish and sell it too.
LikeLike
You know what’s weird?
I bought a bed from their ‘crazy never-to-be-repeated except at the exact same time next year sell-out madness sale’ a few years ago and I’ve never believed more firmly in the power of jesus.
LikeLike
Ah, Midland, such a charming place.
I currently work and have worked before in Midland and if it’s trailer park skankiness that you want, you can’t go past the place.
My last job was managing one of the stores in Centrepoint and boy was it an eye opener! I can’t believe they haven’t pulled that place down yet!
Also, it’s been years since I’ve had to catch the train but I have heard stories form people that do. Apparently the station fenced off an area of the car park, put up a little demountable office for a guard, called it ‘secure’ parking and started charging people to park there. In the first month there were more break in’s in the secure parking than in the open parking!
LikeLike
Yes its obvious that the pope is involved in this bed scam. Trying to get the numbers up.
LikeLike
I love those photos. My partner saw their ad on tele the other day and said that it looked like they both got a haircut in the mid-nineties that they quite liked, and decided to stick with it forever.
On the other side, I bought a bed from them once, after a breakup that left me largely bereft of furniture:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
LikeLike
I thought Jesus was the ‘Lamb’ of god? Why the fish?
LikeLike
what is with the fish? i in fact noticed hte same thing today! if you look on page 2087 of the yeller pages, shenton pumps have the fish! why!? and midland is pretty bad, but the train station is good. ill be posting that soon!
LikeLike
That damned station clock is wrong Tom. I will likewise be posting it.
LikeLike
Apparently you need to know the secret handshake.
LikeLike
The fish as a christian symbol goes way, way back – to the early Roman times, I think, when they were all getting fed to lions and stuff.
It’s from the I will make you fishers of men bit in the Bible, I think.
Or the loaves and fishes bit, maybe.
LikeLike
Don’t know whether the bible-thumping is a factor, but somehow Ferrall Junior has mastered the art of time travel; he’s obviously going somewhere in 1987 to get his hair cut. Either that or Midland Gate.
LikeLike
Might I mention the crude psychological associations of mattresses with the whiff of whiting and pictures of dweebs?
I tell you people, it’s an awful plot to rake in huge profits while simultaneously turning the honest burghers of Midland (looking for nothing other than to buy a simple, good quality foam mattress) off sex.
LikeLike
Midland’s Muslims are the ones I’m worried about. Haircut100’s name is Sean by the way.
LikeLike
Dunno about a 1987 cut, folks – that one strikes me as a pure 1990s Bart Simpson.
LikeLike
Why hasn’t Haircut100 got a mullet ?
LikeLike
Wouldn’t waterbeds be unchristian? Satan would definitely have one.
LikeLike
Also in Joondalup, there’s a gym on the corner of Grand Blvd called The Colosseum sporting the Jesus fish, pure gold.
LikeLike
After all the loaves and fishes (fush n chups at the Ling ?) you want a good lie down with the missus. Jesus no , Satan’s mucked around with the water bed.
LikeLike
C’mon people, everybody should know that the fish represents the source of the bible. After all, it is the Word of Cod.
LikeLike
That young’un on the right looks like he’s got a Banjo shoved up his jacksie!!
LikeLike
More likely a Baltic Pine headboard.
LikeLike
Really very silly individuals and their silly television commercials. Major embarrasement and Major brain surgery needed in the style of South Park done with baseball bat , gun and a ‘kenny’ kind of murder. or maybe perth televison could lift its act. Doubtful though [long term cultural change unfortunately probably decades of it].
LikeLike
typical redneck christian humour
LikeLike
Ooops, too late to contribute to this thread but … thanks for posting it!
LikeLike
Waterbeds aren’t ‘un-Christian’.
Jesus can walk on waterbeds.
LikeLike
Pingback: Double Fantasy Ferrall Style | The Worst of Perth
Have you critics not got anything better to do than slam the Men behind beds plus? I happen to know both men on a personal level and they are they are men with great integrity and generosity. If you knew them, what they are about and how many lives they have help changed simply through who they are, teen challenge, prison ministry-there is no way that you would say these things unless you were an ambassador for satan himself. I am absolutely appalled that you would publicly demean any local business, let alone these guys. Shame on you, because these guys are nothing but a blessing to those in the faith and especially to those who are not. If you really have an issue with their method of advertising, get out from behind your computer screens and have the courage to meet with them personally ofherwise keep your opinions to yourself.
LikeLike
The devil finds work for idle hands.
LikeLike
And idle doodles.
LikeLike
You sleep on satan sheets. God DAY sir.
LikeLike
ambassador for satan = Gerry Harvey
LikeLike
I’m sure Perth only has a consulate not a full Embarrassy.
LikeLike
I’m sure they are wonderful generous dudes, but they have the worst signs in Perth. That’s just how it is. Good luck to them, but I’m sure I’m not the only one that finds the concept of using chritianity as a sales aid a little tastless. Using their tasteless signs to sell beds though, – now THAT I love.
LikeLike
Wait – Satan?
LikeLike
Ambassador to Satan?
LikeLike
Himself?
LikeLike
Almost as good as the time Abs called you out on incivility
LikeLike
Does that come with diplomatic immunity?
LikeLike
I can park a Camry anywhere. eg up your arses.
LikeLike
And does this constitute >Godwin, or <Godwin?
LikeLike
What what what?
LikeLike
Ok so slightly ott with that comment haha! But in all seriousness…do yourself a favour and back off these guys.from where i sit, your’re only insulting yourself by this continuing this pointless and demeaning exercise. In the land of psycology.people who critizise, arnt happy in themselves or their own lives sl find ways and means to degrade others to feel better. your playing right into that.
so here’s a hot tip for you – Why don’t you change it up and find the good things about Perth…and perth businesses…and life …and everything else- maybe even offer an encouragement here and there and you might even find things in your life will turn upwards :)
Bless u lazy man. I hope your life improves for your sake and everyone else’s :)
LikeLike
Arsebucket.
LikeLike
:)
LikeLike
I have a visa for the land of psycology [sic] and often critizise [sic] their apostrophe, comma, capitalisation and full stop abuses.
It’s right next to Hutt River Province
LikeLike
Peoples Republic of Zoltanistan?
LikeLike
Bless u lazy man. No one can hear you sneeze in the negative space.
LikeLike
Do you “know” them in another way??
LikeLike
An idle doodle is another man’s gander.
LikeLike
Halo’s comment seems familiar, as in “This is my husbands truck (business)….. So tell me what, “nerd or Geek” goes around our suburbs looking for unusual and strange “things” and thinks it’s so cool and funny, at someone’s else’s expense. You are a sad bunch of lonely twats!!!!!
PS yes my husbands grammar is (signs are) poor but he earns a F##K load more money than you will ever see in your life time!!! Not you Greg. CHEERS”
LikeLike
Pingback: Not Worst | The Worst of Perth
man this thread is hilarious.
Separation of Church and Bed… brilliant :-D (also disturbingly accurate too)
Notice that they’ve taken the fish symbol down now? Maybe they’re Vegan now ? :-P
LikeLike
they are dropkicks
LikeLike
I still miss the droppy. If you’re quick, you can spot one at 1:19. Barry Cable, FTW.
LikeLike
See Barry Cable riding his bike at incredible speeds between Narrows and Shelley Bridges.
LikeLike
Th th thats all folks
http://www.commerce.wa.gov.au/consumerprotection/content/consumers/consumer_alerts.html#bedsplus
LikeLike
Vanished worsts!
LikeLike
And in time, the only place honouring their wrinkled face photos will be here.
LikeLike
Jesus saves, oh no he doesn’t , not at this bank and not at Easter.
LikeLike
But they stopped using the fish a while ago. Think about it.
LikeLike
gefillte?
LikeLike
What’s your email, Orbs? I need to send you an…item.
LikeLike
You already have it RB
LikeLike
Thing about it , I already am. Now at Uni of the Third Widge , symbology , exegesis and the semiotics of religions is a honours level unit, and thus one I didn’t take/fake.If your argument is that the holy church of the Ferals has been long deconsecrated point taken Sir !
LikeLike
They dropped the fish and Jesus may have withdrawn the credit facility.
LikeLike
They didn’t keep up with the times. The fishy appeal to Christianity worked for a while, then we discovered science. The subsequent appeal to jingoism with the flag logo worked for a while, but then our swimming team tanked. They should have changed their symbol to a SIEV on fire. That would’ve bought them a few more years financial viability.
LikeLike
Or added a small bar. With a popup hammock shop.
LikeLike
Or a foreshore plan, serviced by light rail.
LikeLike
If they’d had a monorail from each store to Kings Park…KACHINGORAMA!
LikeLike
Paid for by …. ooh …. someone (waves arms about)
LikeLike
Beds Toats
LikeLike
Beds 2.0?
LikeLike
iBed
LikeLike
Bed Hub
LikeLike
Mattress Vibe
LikeLike
Ermahgerd Beds!
LikeLike
One must ask … Beds Plus … What ?
We continue to be told the bible tells us that between adults beds are for procreation in addition to sleep .
The fish continues in post Freudian times to be a symbol plus of phallic nature .
Its removal ( especially given the equivocal meaning of its directional pointing between two grown men in the bed business who happen to be father and son ) is perhaps a good thing as well as relief in this sterile context in which not even virgin birth is a possible miraculous outcome .
LikeLike
Time and economics may have solved this problem by now.
LikeLike