In the 1980’s, there used to be many businesses – carpet and furniture floggers mostly, who used to add a christian fish to their signs. Now it seems to be down to this last couple of botherers on Great Eastern Highway Midland. The practice makes me shudder with revulsion. To compound the signage horror, there has also been a highly ill advised addition of photographs. Get thee behind me Jesus freak bed sellers, and get yourself a secular graphic designer – preferably an atheist. There should be a separation of powers between Church and Bed.
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I have been hearing so much about the redevelopment of central Midland, that I thought I may have missed my chance to capture some good Worst. I hadn’t. The Worst of Perth usually prefers the witty and humorous to the nasty for its posts, but witty unfortunately not possible this time. It was a tatty shithole with the ambiance of a drunken knife fight. Loved the station/Centrepoint precinct. Uggh. Expect posts from that area over the next few weeks.
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and the fish doesn’t know which way to swim?
Don’t be too down on Midland. The tacky god-botherers have several stores with nearly identical signage all over the place. There was one in Nedlands until very recently, in the heart of inner Western suburbs snobbery.
I was more referring to the centre of town near the station for my later comments. The Beds Plus was actually a bit further up the road in an ugly but less malevolent area.
I have to agree with LA regarding Midland. I lived there for 3 years right at the beginning of the alleged redevolopment. So far all I can see that is new is a police station (quite a large one too) and some new shops where Centrelink and a carpark used to be. I also noticed that they had made two oneway streets into two way and inflicted some Liquid Amber trees on to the Main Street.
whoooo-Hooo!
Midland was an entirely un-cultured place run by the local chamber of commerce whose Chair was the owner of the gun shop – and wanted to keep thangs just the way they were…
Midland was actually a far freindlier place after hours because all the shop owners shut a 5:30 and went home to Lesmurdie.
Yeah these Beds Plus morons have been around for years. They have a store in City West too. If you want a good laugh, check out some of the ads they have on TV from time to time. They use South Park style “animation” to make them jump around like a couple of fun-loving larks, contrary to the conservative secular image they put out there with that ridiculous f*cking fish. Drives me insane.
The mug shot on the signs are almost as disturbing as the underlying suggestion that it’s best to do business with people of the same faith. No pre-marital beds for sale here… (The son is in serious need of a recolour. He looks like my late aunty Florrie.)
I’ve always wondered what on earth posessed these people to put such horrifying photographs of themselves on the front of all their shops AND tv ads.
The guy on the left isn’t so bad, but on the right, OH MY GOD! Can you fake that smile any harder? and hey, even the old guys hairline is less receeding ;) “Oh my, i’m losing all my hair, i best brush it back in a dye-blonde (WTF) so that every one can see how bald im going”
Ferrall? i was thinking more like feral!
Is it actually a fish? or is the all-seeing-eye of the lord himself? I wish he’d help them see to getting some new photos.
Ohh i could go on and on for hours, i’m glad you finally pointed the target their way.
They keep doing it this way because it brings in the punters. Now that’s a real worry.
The Ferals : can I have my fish and sell it too.
You know what’s weird?
I bought a bed from their ‘crazy never-to-be-repeated except at the exact same time next year sell-out madness sale’ a few years ago and I’ve never believed more firmly in the power of jesus.
In unrelated news, I have never had more fluid settling in my spinal column. I think I need a new mattress.
Ah, Midland, such a charming place.
I currently work and have worked before in Midland and if it’s trailer park skankiness that you want, you can’t go past the place.
My last job was managing one of the stores in Centrepoint and boy was it an eye opener! I can’t believe they haven’t pulled that place down yet!
Also, it’s been years since I’ve had to catch the train but I have heard stories form people that do. Apparently the station fenced off an area of the car park, put up a little demountable office for a guard, called it ’secure’ parking and started charging people to park there. In the first month there were more break in’s in the secure parking than in the open parking!
Yes its obvious that the pope is involved in this bed scam. Trying to get the numbers up.
I love those photos. My partner saw their ad on tele the other day and said that it looked like they both got a haircut in the mid-nineties that they quite liked, and decided to stick with it forever.
On the other side, I bought a bed from them once, after a breakup that left me largely bereft of furniture:
Worst customer service ever.
They took my money and promised delivery within a couple of days, then rang me and said they’d run out of that particular bed, but more were on the way on a boat from Indonesia, but it would be 6 weeks before they got there. So sorry.
When I explained that I was sleeping on a back-breaking camp bed, they sympathised and point blank refused to refund my money or switch products. It took DOCEP intervention before they changed their minds and gave me my cash back.
Then – and this is the best bit – they rang me back after the bloody thing arrived and told me I’d ordered one so I had to pay for it…
Those crazy christians…
I thought Jesus was the ‘Lamb’ of god? Why the fish?
what is with the fish? i in fact noticed hte same thing today! if you look on page 2087 of the yeller pages, shenton pumps have the fish! why!? and midland is pretty bad, but the train station is good. ill be posting that soon!
That damned station clock is wrong Tom. I will likewise be posting it.
You can’t expect good customer service from a “fishy” business! Apparently you need to know the secret handshake.
The fish as a christian symbol goes way, way back – to the early Roman times, I think, when they were all getting fed to lions and stuff.
It’s from the I will make you fishers of men bit in the Bible, I think.
Or the loaves and fishes bit, maybe.
Don’t know whether the bible-thumping is a factor, but somehow Ferrall Junior has mastered the art of time travel; he’s obviously going somewhere in 1987 to get his hair cut. Either that or Midland Gate.
Might I mention the crude psychological associations of mattresses with the whiff of whiting and pictures of dweebs?
I tell you people, it’s an awful plot to rake in huge profits while simultaneously turning the honest burghers of Midland (looking for nothing other than to buy a simple, good quality foam mattress) off sex.
Beds Plus are pure evil, I assure you.
Midland’s Muslims are the ones I’m worried about. Haircut100’s name is Sean by the way.
Dunno about a 1987 cut, folks – that one strikes me as a pure 1990s Bart Simpson.
It’s a fishy business : why hasn’t Haircut100 got a mullet ? Also the water beds are lumpy for some reason.
Wouldn’t waterbeds be unchristian? Satan would definitely have one.
There was an electrical fault, apparently, at their store in Joondalup a few years ago that burnt the place down. Those two were on the front cover of the Joondalup Times in front of said store with the biggest grins you’ve ever seen plastered on their faces. Also in Joondalup, there’s a gym on the corner of Grand Blvd called The Colosseum sporting the Jesus fish, pure gold.
After all the loaves and fishes (fush n chups at the Ling ?) you want a good lie down with the missus. Jesus no , Satan’s mucked around with the water bed.
C’mon people, everybody should know that the fish represents the source of the bible. After all, it is the Word of Cod.
That young’un on the right looks like he’s got a Banjo shoved up his jacksie!!
More likely a Baltic Pine headboard.
Really very silly individuals and their silly television commercials. Major embarrasement and Major brain surgery needed in the style of South Park done with baseball bat , gun and a ‘kenny’ kind of murder. or maybe perth televison could lift its act. Doubtful though [long term cultural change unfortunately probably decades of it].
typical redneck christian humour
Ooops, too late to contribute to this thread but … thanks for posting it!
I can confirm the shite service. I was in the market for an el-cheapo queen ensemble for a new housmate, and spied one in City West for $500. After hearing the horror story of #13 I’m glad we walked out after being told they were on back-order (1 week turnaround, couldn’t take the demo model with us) and they wouldn’t waive the $50 delivery fee. Various bedding palaces at The OP (Osborne Park … mmmkay?) were a bit more accommodating.
Waterbeds aren’t ‘un-Christian’.
Jesus can walk on waterbeds.