The First Level of Hell

Ironically it is often only good or interesting art that can shock like a blow to the face, or raise in us revulsion or intense emotion. Bad art usually only produces laughter, mockery or indifference. However this piece next to Perth’s railway station manages to do it all. Its state of disrepair, ill conceived theme, and terrible execution combined to make me feel physically sick. The woman’s missing breast is horrifying. Perhaps it was “blown off” by the arse on the right? This monstrosity has been plopped next to Perth’s main railway station for 20 years now. What is wrong with Perth people? Have we become so used to this turd of a sculpture that we don’t even see it anymore? It was a bicentennial project apparently by “The Youth” of Perth in 1988. I hope these now ageing youths feel some spasm of shame for this as they pass through Perth’s station. The Director of the project Robert Fairclough has moved to Walpole to escape seeing this. Lucky devil.



Here’s a different angle showing a bloke rooting a giant hand. Thanks Youth. Can we at least be thankful he wasn’t scratching his arse? The plaque begins, “The Snow Goose need not bathe to make itself white, neither need you do anything but be yourself” Lao Zi. (老子) Die you bastards die!. That was me, not Lao Zi.

The plaque also has a list of the young criminals who did this to us. Hunt them down people of Perth. Hunt them down one by one and destroy them. Director Sculpture – Robert (asleep at the wheel) Fairclough, Design Concept-Robert Boyle, Trevor Walley & Dion, Team – Shane, Trevor, Rita, Charlie, Dion, Jason, Michael, plus all the other lucky bastards who didn’t rate a mention on the plaque.

By the way, one of the sponsors is Miniskip.
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About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst public art, worst sculpture and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to The First Level of Hell

  1. I thought it was Bottom from Midsummer Night’s Dream.


  2. Cimbali says:



  3. Mazarina says:

    truly, truly abominable


  4. Cimbali says:

    It was interesting to discover from the link that Robert Fairclough was self taught from the age of seven. What does that mean? was he left to fend for himself in the wilderness? was he brought up by wolves? Did he flunk out of school at grade 2? Don’t the buddhists say something like give me a child until the age of seven and I will show you someone who can finger paint and cut with plastic scissors?
    Maybe everything that a seven year old knows about art and the world can be seen in this sculpture – lets make bottom jokes and laugh at ladies boobies!

    There are plenty of people hanging around the Perth railway station who have taken the not bathing bit to heart, as well as the “you need not do anything..” so he has a fair bit to answer for.


  5. lazyaussie says:

    I assume it is him, as there are a few breasted nymphs emerging from tree trunks sort of stuff on websites. However they are not all as terrible as this one. Some I quite like. If I was him I would campaign to get rid of the station one, or bring his trusty chainsaw when he next visits Perth. He might be able to catch the australind down, pop out at Perth, hack the sculpture up and be back in the bar car before it takes off down south again..


  6. ltep says:

    I lived in Perth for 22 years and didn’t notice this statue once! How!


  7. noideaforaname says:

    one butt-ugly piece of work!


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  10. Deckard Bishop says:

    Let’s go straight to the sixth and seventh levels of hell reserved for those who have committed the offences of violence and fraud (this includes tyrants, murderers, blasphemers and sodomites)

    My eyes have been violated and whoever commissioned this were definitely screwed out of a few bucks!



  11. Joan Thompson says:

    Gosh that is one ugly piece of sculpture – almost as bad as our new rusty sculpture at the Mandurah Train Station.


  12. lazyaussie says:

    Come on. The rusty is not as bad as this one is it?


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